Private Just Like Old Times

[Levi]

Corellia
Rag​

Was this rock bottom?

It felt like it.

Levi had run that con a million times over. Always ended the same way. Quick. Easy. A few extra credits to his name. Except this time, he got caught. Now, the once great* captain of the Outrider** found himself on the wrong side of a holding cell. He’d been here before, of course; One hardly qualified as a professional scoundrel without getting the jailhouse grand tour at least once or twice.

But this was different.

If Levi couldn’t even manage to swindle any old airheaded pedestrian who thought they were of quicker wit than he, then maybe it really was time to give up the good fight once and for all. He distinctly reminisced upon an era when he could doublespeak his way around the head of a Toydarian commerce guild. Those were the days.

The Devaronian leaned against the bars of his cell, his gaze shifting longingly to the set of doors so close, yet so far away.

​

*self-proclaimed, disputed
**not the actual Outrider

 

[Rag]

No one pushed Rag around. Only Rag’s legs could do that.

They kicked and twisted against the officer that had arms locked around Rag. “LET ME GO YOU BANTHA STAIN!” Rag’s yell could bring down the whole building if Rag wanted it to. “JUST TRY TO PUT RAG IN A CAGE MY DAD IS EMPEROR CARNIVAL AND WHEN HE HEARS ABOUT THIS HE’S GONNA THROW YOUR STUPID GRANDMA INTO THE SUN YOU DUSTNUT I’LL-”

Despite the severity of Rag’s warning (Rag could hear the officer crying his dumb eyes dry in terror), he threw Rag into the holding cell and slammed the door shut. Rag jumped at the bars and started gnawing. Sure, some of Rag’s teeth were chipped, but you know what else had chipped teeth? Buzzsaws.

Unfortunately, the prison bars were made of quantum crystalline or something. Rag reached for the keys on the cop’s belt, but those were too far away. So Rag slid to the ground and pounded at it for a while until the nerf herder left. Today was not going well.

Rag lowered Rag’s goggles and laid back on the ground, arms splayed. And… oh.

There was someone there.

Rag blinked at them.

Levi @Emperor Carnival​

 

[Levi]

Levi's reveries were rudely interrupted as the hall was then filled with the discordant shrieks of a... child? A... person? Creature? Entity?

The guard cared little for their antics, promptly throwing them into the holding cell with Levi. He blinked at the officer, the two of them sharing a moment of mutual perplexity before the latter stepped away to return to his duties. Levi spun around to match the gaze of his new cellmate, gauging as to whether or not he was even safe in the same room as them. He raised his hand in a halfhearted greeting.

"Afternoon. Rag, was it? Are you, um... alright?" The awkwardness of his attempt to make conversation was not lost on Levi. But after the display he just witnessed, there was little more he felt he could address other than the current emotional and or mental state of the individual he now was forced to share a space with.

Rag​

 

[Rag]

This new guy looked bummed. Probably because he hadn’t met Rag before.

“I tried to start a band, Rag, but I failed. Do you have any musical advice?” That’s what Rag heard.

The guy had a dadliness about him, if your dad was the devil and had sold his house to buy a suit. Rag turned onto Rag’s stomach and hopped up, pointing at Devil Dad. “Follow your dreams! That’s what Rag says! No point in doin’ if it ain’t done to death!” Rag grinned broadly. That oughta make him feel better!

Rag skipped over to the bench and plopped down. It was always so nice to meet a fellow musician. One day, Rag was gonna take every instrument in the galaxy and drop them from orbit. Then, Rag was gonna charge admission for everyone to hear the last song in the universe. Rag hummed just thinking about it, rocking side to side. What to buy with all that cash? All the instrument factories, obviously, so no one could make any more. Maybe also the planet so no one could pick up all the instrument parts. Afterwards you’d need a whole dump to put all the instrument parts in, and then you’d probably have to burn the dump. Except, metal banjos weren’t flammable (Rag had checked), so you’d also need a foundry to turn the metal banjos into security mechs who would keep people from stealing from the dump.

Except that poodoo cop probably wouldn’t listen, and Rag sure as shavit wasn’t going to cut him in. Which was a shame, because otherwise it was the perfect plan. Always another problem to solve…

Levi​

 

[Levi]

The fellow's words had an unexpectedly profound effect on Levi. After having spent such an indeterminately long amount of time in the proverbial dumps, hearing simple unconditional support, from a complete stranger no less, struck Levi in his soul. It was inspiring, even if the individual themself seemed to be of, at best, a questionable state of mind. "...You know what? You're right Rag! I've always been something of a dreamer myself. Why should I let a little stint in jail be the death of me?

The Devaronian began to march back and forth across their cell, "I'm a professional con artist, dammit! And a rather good one, at that! I have so much more to offer the galaxy! And the galaxy has so much more to offer me in turn!" Levi slipped back over to the cell door, peeking over at the exit while he hummed in thought. A plan coming together. "Tell me, dear Rag, have you ever broken out of a jail before? I've the nascent machinations of a plan in mind, and it requires an alliance between you and myself. What say you?" He held out a hand to shake, a budding excitement growing within. It could be just like old times.

Rag​

 

[Rag]

Devil Dad waggled a hand in Rag’s face. Rag beamed behind thick pink-and-blue lenses.

And beamed.

And beamed.

Explosions.

The pretty noise of accellerite and Dirty-Uni-Fumi shook the whole street. Shook the whole kriffing planet. More poodoo coppers went scuttling by like they could un-explode their cruisers. Probably try and arrest them for blowing up. And they’d already forgotten about little ol’ Rag. Rag was sneaky like that. A ghost.

One last junkbucket marched up behind the rest — but this one was a nice junkbucket. He was about 8 feet tall, with these huuuge metal shoulders, which Rag had painted little faces on, and then these arms that Rag could swap out for flame jets, or spray cans, or tinier arms, or flensing claws. For flensing. His name was Bone.

Bone grabbed onto the cell door and yanked. Popped off like a snack lid. Rag hopped up into Bone’s hand, then onto his shoulder, and turned back to Devil Dad.

“Come on, mozz box! Let’s bust this knuckle!”

Bone cocked its head at the guy. He didn’t always understand why Rag did what Rag did. But this time he’d just have to deal with it.

Rag liked this guy.

Levi @Bone​

 

[Levi]

Though Rag didn't take his gesture of friendship as intended, the broad smile that spread across their face was enough to elicit a similar excited response from Levi. An alliance then.

And then the explosions happened.

Levi stared blankly at Rag in front of him, processing the sounds he heard and the quakes he felt. And how they most certainly connected to the individual stuck in the room with him. The face said it all. His jaw hung slack, eyebrows raised higher than should be physically possible. The wrenching of metal came from behind, a massive droid literally ripping the door off its hinges amidst the chaos. This was starting to seem like some kind of weird dream. Not necessarily a bad dream, mind you. The motor oil covered gremlin skedaddled onto the droid's shoulder,

“Come on, mozz box! Let’s bust this knuckle!”

"...I'm sorry, what?" Levi stared at his new partner in crime with a bemused smirk. He didn't wait for an answer. There was no time to waste, and this was getting interesting. He took his leave of the cell, running towards the doors, "No matter! It seems you got the hard parts covered! I hope you don't mind a brief detour, I'd rather like to recollect my confiscated belongings." He rounded a corner, heading to the room where their items had been held. Therein laid his deck of cards, and the precious DL-44. A beauty of a gun, like reuniting with a lost love. Thankfully he left his other gun in the Outrider. "If you have anything here worth taking, get it and let's make our exit."

Levi ran out into the street to see the mayhem that Rag had wrought on the local area. Some of the officers were recovering from the shock of the event, which meant their time was running out. He glanced over to any of the nearby vehicles that weren't caught in the explosion, "Huh. I don't suppose that droid can fit in a landspeeder?"

Rag ​

 

[Rag]

There was one thing. “Nnneeeeaaaaoowwww!” Rag steered Bone around the corner to the stuff locker. Out on the table was Rag’s Companion2000. And boy, talk about pretty. UVS ports, a tech deck, integrated holographics, stereo mic, hardened plastiflex casing. Thing picked up radio stations from the kriffing Outer Rim. Plus when you were typing sometimes the loose wires wrapped around your wrist and gave you a wake-me-up! Yessir, next to Rag’s C2 all the accelerite in the galaxy looked like sithspit.

Rag tucked it under Rag’s arm and hopped back onto Bone’s shoulder with a grin and a thumbs up to daddy-o. Outside, stuff was a mess. Smoke puffed off the lot like it was chiefing rankweed. Except the smoke was magenta, which is why Rag liked Uni-Fumi so much, and also why the coppers should not be standing so close to it. Rag giggled as Bone clomped down the street after Devil Dad, bouncing Rag up and down.

“Oo, oo! Bone, show him your trick!”

He tucked down into a ball, like he was crying about how awesome his arms were or something, and thick bolted plates formed up over his joints. Bone-the-Droid became Bone-the-Cube. And the best part was, Rag had painted faces all over the metal plates! They were these yellow circle guys with mouths so big, they didn’t even have room for eyes or noses or hair. Some were smiling, some were frowning. One of them, the one on Bone’s backside, was sticking its tongue out.

Rag grabbed cable from Bone-the-Cube’s front face (it held the winch in its pointy teeth) and latched it to one of the speeders. Once Rag kicked on the repulsorlift, Bone-the-Cube was floating like nobody’s business.

“Hehehehe, first one in gets to drive!” And Rag started scrambling to the speeder door.

Levi @Bone​

 

[Levi]

As entertaining as this had all been, Levi was still decidedly not ready to die just yet. Call it a divine portent, but given how interaction with Rag had gone thus far, he had come to the rather confident conclusion that letting this individual take control of the wheel would most certainly lead to a detour directly into oblivion. "Oh, no no-"

He practically leapt at the door, swinging it open and shoving himself past Rag if needed to ensure the driver's seat. "Fair is fair! I won! Hop in, Rag." With a relieved sigh he waited for them and their droid to take their seats, kicking it into high gear when the time was ready. "Hold on tight! This may be a bumpy ride."

They zoomed out onto the street, swinging around a corner and nearly missing another speeder as Levi corrected course. "Sorry!" He called out, chuckling under his breath. Levi pushed the speeder to as fast as it would go, charging down the lane and towards the nearest spaceport. "I've a ship not far from here, Rag. Perhaps you've heard of it? The Outrider? Or as I've taken to calling it, the Outrider 2, now that it is under my care." Levi smiled smugly to himself, though it transitioned to a frown not long after, as the sound of sirens filled the streets behind them. "Oh dear."

Several police speeders trailed their own, turning the escape into a chase, "Rag, my good fellow, it would appear you didn't get all of the cruisers with your little firework display." Levi swerved to the side, boosting around another corner and causing one of their pursuers to bump into another speeder. The spaceport could be seen behind rows of other buildings. Just a little bit more...

Rag​

 

[Rag]

Rats. Rag wanted to drive. But it was hard to be mad when this day just kept getting better! Rag giggled and squirmed into the passenger seat, then gave a few solid smacks to the speeder hood with a crack-toothed grin that just about split Rag’s face in half.

"Hold on tight! This may be a bumpy ride."

“bumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbump” They hit the dips like a scrak track. It was catchy. “B-U-M-P-Y up to the sky-y~!” Rag sang. “Hit a bump too big and we might fly-y~!”

One speeder was too chicken to face Rag and daddy-o, so Rag stopped the song to blow a fat raspberry at them. When Rag turned back he was saying something, but Rag couldn’t hear him really over how awesome everything was. Except he said, “Oh dear,” sort of like dads do.

“Rag’s got it!” Rag crawled over to where the taught cable was towing Bone just behind them, and started tightrope-walking across. “Rag’ll make a C-O-P go K-A-B-L-O-O-I-E~!” At the winch, Rag let out some cable til Bone and Rag were trailing behind. Now when the speeder wobbled, Bone swung.

“LOOK ALIVE, SNOTROCKS! WOOOOO!” Rag rode the Wrecking Bone into walls, signs, hydrants. Dumb little statues of dumb people. None of the actual cops got smashed (probably), but man they were freaked. They cut hard to get away.

Rag lifted Rag’s goggles and gave the driver a big thumbs up.

Levi @Wrecking Bone​

 

[Levi]

The sight of Rag moving back to then funambulate their way toward the droid dragging behind their speeder made Levi do a double take, “U-um, Rag?! Is that really the wisest idea right now?!”

In defiance of his worry, the creature successfully maneuvered back to Bone. And then turned Bone into a wrecking ball. And then started smashing everything with the wrecking ball. They left a trail of destruction in their wake all the way to the spaceport. The swinging motions of such a heavy droid made the speeder lurch to the side with each swipe, forcing Levi to adjust his driving to accommodate, lest they themselves smash directly into a wall. He looked back to see the thumbs up, giving one in return, alongside an awkward grin.

“Right then.” It seemed it managed to get the nearest cops off their tail, allowing them to come to a screeching halt in front of the spaceport. “No time to waste!” Levi hopped out of the speeder, running further in and ushering Rag to follow suit. He nearly rounded a corner when a pair of guards caught his eye. Levi clung to the wall, hiding out of sight and sticking out a hand to try and stop Rag for making the same mistake. “Quiet!” He hushed, peering around the corner to examine the situation. The two appeared to be chatting, and a voice could be heard over their communication system. Some kind of alert was being put in place. “Oh, just wonderful.”

Rag​

 

[Rag]

Quiet… Quiet…

Rag squeezed Rag’s eyes shut and tried to be silent. It wasn’t something Rag did often, so Rag pushed extra hard to force all the noise away. Eventually, it all faded into muted ebbs and flows— ash gray waves breaking under a silver rain-curtain, both impenetrable and somehow endlessly deep. But what could be beyond it? Could anything be? Just by having this thought, Rag began to glide over the water into the rain. It didn’t sting, and it wasn’t cold. The wind blew in warm currents that swept away any chill. And then, all at once, the curtain was rolled away to reveal a fathomless profusion of stars spread in technicolor across an impossible sky.

Rag floated there for a long time. The ocean was gone, as was the rain. It was just Rag. After some time, it was possible to see the path these stars moved along as they spawned galaxies and shaped worlds. Harmony, majestic and imperial, each atom working in concert upon the canvas of creation. How small everything seemed. To look away would be to spurn something fundamental, something alive. And so Rag hung there among worlds without names, among the dark between stars, watching planets form and crumble. Empires rose only to fall, then rise again from their own ashes. Endless struggles all in vain, defeats and fruitless victories in the name of illusory virtues. One by one the stars went out, until intelligence was just the crest of a dark wave and finally was no more.

There, in the wake of that darkness, there, there was something still moving. As Rag approached, it resolved into the form of a great serpent coiled around itself. Was this one being, or two? Scales in ivory white and shadow black unfurled to regard this intruder upon the end of all things. Eyes of crimson and blue searched for intent.

“YOU… WE DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE.” It spoke in many voices. “WE DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE ANYONE HERE. LITTLE SURPRISES US, THESE DAYS.”

Light began to shine from somewhere inside the body of the serpent, as though it coiled around a ball of pure sunlight. “THE ASHES OF THE UNIVERSE HAVE GROWN COLD. YOU MUST NOT FEAR IT, FOR IT IS THE NATURE OF ALL THINGS TO END.” Its great serpentine head moved close, within an inch of Rag’s, staring deep into Rag’s spirit. “BUT IT MUST ALWAYS BEGIN ANEW. SINCE YOU HAVE COME THIS FAR, IT SEEMS FITTING THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW WHY. YOU SEE, TH-”

“bonk”

Rag poked both of the snake’s eyes. It began to writhe. With an omnipotent roar the nothingness trembled. It uncoiled, and kept uncoiling, its length never ending, its form growing and shaking with rage. The serpent’s head split into two, a dozen, a hundred heads with dagger teeth that filled eternity. They encircled Rag like predators and struck.

“AHHHHHHHH!”

Rag’s eyes snapped open as Rag dashed around the corner, arms waving in terror.

Levi​

 

[Levi]

The two officers chattered over their comms for a few moments, while Levi peered around the corner to carefully watch. Eventually, they seemed to acknowledge whatever orders they were given, and began to take their leave of the area. “Whew. Alright, Rag. I think we’re in the cle-”

“AHHHHHHHH!”

Rag ran around the corner screaming and flailing, just as the officers had nearly walked away. “Wha- Hey! You! Stop!” One of them pointed towards Rag, drawing a stun blaster. The other looked to spot Levi behind him, and did the same, “Over there! It’s them!”

Levi strolled out from around the corner, trying to play it cool as Rag did the opposite, “Now now, gentlemen. I’m sure we can come to some kind of peaceful accord?”

A stun blast was fired his way, forcing Levi to dodge over to the side, gracelessly flopping to the ground. “Ow.” He groaned. The man wasn’t used to doing much physically straining activity as of late. Levi rolled onto his back and whipped out his own blaster, firing a warning shot, though it only served to further antagonize the cops, who began to fire back at both of them in response. Levi scrambled up to his feet, running after Rag and pulling them in the direction of their ship.

“What in the blazes was that?! We’re trying to not get caught!” A shot whizzed over, making Levi duck his head instinctively, “My ship is just ahead, Rag. How about we make an effort not to die on the way there?”

Rag​

 

[Rag]

This guy grabbed Rag’s shirt and tugged Rag away with a scolding. We’re trying to not get caught! Who even says that? Like he didn’t know what Rag just saw. Except, Rag also didn’t know what Rag just saw, and also Rag forgot what Rag just saw.

“Rag's gonna call you Mozzie. Cuz you’re such a mozz box.”

The guards rushed over to where Rag and Mozzie were hiding and aimed their stun guns. So once again, Rag had to save the day. Rag jumped out right in front of them, waggled Rag’s fingers, went “BLBDBLPFNANANA” real loud, and then got shot in the leg.

“CRAP CRACK!” Boy did that tingle. Rag lolled over onto the ground, but it was okay.

A huge figure appeared behind the guards, overshadowing them. Bone had his angry face on.

Thick bulk-loading fingers curled around the cops’ dumb shoulders and flicked them off their feet. He shoved a clicking arm right up to their dumb stupid faces. Pssssshhhhhhh. Thick yellow spraypaint decked them from cap to khakis. And they were all, “auugh ah I can’t see” and Rag was like, babies, maybe for like a week tops.

Rag wrestled one of the stun guns from them, then shouted incoherently at them while shooting Rag’s other leg with the stun gun over and over. But they knew what Rag meant. Except that sort of meant Rag couldn’t stand? And also Rag felt kinda dizzy. Which was totally the poodoo coppers’ faults so Rag shot them with the stunner just a couple of times.

Bone hoisted Rag up and clomped off after Mozzie.

They came to a clear spot in the shipyard with this big freighter in the middle of it. It was sort of pretty, sort of like a flat bagel holding a flashlight (only it had a turret in the bagel hole), even if Rag thought it could definitely use some remodeling. Especially now that a few more security poodoos were putting electroclamps onto the ship’s ion jets.

Well Rag couldn’t save the day this time, since Rag couldn’t walk, but Rag would at least advise Mozzie while he planned something. Rag had Bone take Rag closer to Mozzie.

“You know, Rag heard that on Corellia the first arrest is just for funsies,” Rag whispered. “The second time, they cut you up and turn your skin into a hat. Not kidding. They’re really stylish, too.”

Hopefully that would help him. Rag gave Mozzie a big grin to go with the encouragement.

Levi @Bone​

 

[Levi]

“A mozz box? I don’t even know what to make of that.” Levi scoffed, though he had little time to retort further with the officers right on them. Though Rag did their best(?) to solve the problem, it ended with them taking a stun bolt to the leg. In retaliation, Bone made quick work of spray painting them. Rather tame considering everything that led up to this point. All the while Levi hardly had time to react, offering only a shrug as he continued off towards the ship, watching in bewilderment as Rag shot themselves with the stun gun and then the cop as well.

“Oh no no no-” Of course they were already impounding his ship. In hindsight Levi realized he should have considered this problem. Rag’s comment earned a side eye from the Devaronian, “...I’m not entirely sure I believe you, Rag.” Levi didn’t take much time to consider their options, if they dallied too long, the entire police station would come crashing down on them, and not because Rag blew it sky high this time.

“Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing?!” He drew his blaster (set to stun, worry not), zapping two of the unprepared security officers in rapid succession. He spun the weapon back into its holster, smirking to himself, “Still got it.” Not exactly as stylish as an actual firefight, but small victories were important right now.

“Rag, can you, or at least can your droid friend get those clamps off? I need to get this ship started!” He shouted, before running up the ramp. He drew the blaster again at the sound of more officers inside, “It’s always something…”

Rag​

 

[Rag]

All Mozzie did was shrug. Which was actually really disappointing — Rag was sure he would’ve reacted better if Bone had the flamethrower on today like Rag thought he had. But at least Mozzie didn’t make a big deal about everything. A lot of people would be all like, “Rag don’t taze yourself,” or “Rag don’t plant bombs all over the parking lot of a police station.” But this guy was actually kinda cool.

He went up and blasted the poodoos (which was also cool, and he said some cool line like “what do you even do”). Rag was already checking out the clamps when Mozzie asked about them, so Rag gave him a big thumbs up.

“Alright, Mr. Clamps!” Rag popped out the ol’ C2 right on top, still seated over Bone’s shoulder, and jammed its cable jack into the clamp’s active lock. “Let’s see what junk you’ve got in your trunk!”

A little show unfolded on-screen while the scrambler did its work: one of Rag’s smileys, wearing a cop hat and blowing a whistle, was blocking the access door. But after a little elbow grease, more smileys showed up with a little more moxy, so that eventually it was just a riot of smileys and spraypaint busting down the front door.

“Yay~!” Rag raised finger guns to the sky. “Rag’s a space captain! Your planet needs you, Rag!”

What was inside? Well it was kinda hard to see because smileys were scoping the place out, but it was basically some braindead code that said stay locked please, some “encryption,” and —

“Ooooooh? Whatwhatwhaaat~?”

setShockLevel: 2

Rag wrapped some of the C2’s tingly wires around Rag’s fingers in anticipation. “Was this for Raaag? You shouldn’t have!” They really shouldn’t have. Rag made a small adjustment.

setShockLevel: 9999999999999

A few smileys had gathered at the bottom of the screen for the moment of truth!

“Ladies and gentlemen~!” Rag hovered over the enter key. “The ride is about to start! Hold onto your— AAAGGGH!”

As soon as Rag hit the button, the clamp started sparking electric blue. You ever see those transformers with the bolts just sort of running up and down the side? It was that, all over the clamp, like it was dumped from a bucket. And the noise was something else, too, like a gigantic robot burping into your face.

Luckily Bone pulled Rag away from the actually shocky parts, which was everything. Also luckily, it’d take more than a little joybuzz to frag up the ion jets. In fact Rag probably made them cooler.

After a little bit of buzzing, the clamp shut up — then popped off.

Levi @Bone​

 

[Levi]

Levi crept up the ramp and into the ship’s interior, shuffling through the cargo hold and using the various crates and containers for hiding. The voices of the officers grew closer, as did the clanking of their boots against the metal flooring. They may have had numbers, but Levi knew this ship like the back of his hand. He took a moment to compose himself, clearing his throat before calling out in what was a very rehearsed and unintentionally, but quite possibly offensive, Corellian accent. “Excuse me, fellow officers, can I get a hand outside?”

For a moment the sound of their movement paused, as did the chatter. Eventually a voice piped up, “...Bill? What’re ya doing in here? How are those electroclamps coming along?”

“...U-um. We are having a bit of trouble securing the last one.”

“You doin alright, Bill? Your voice sounds a little-“

“Yes! Yes. Just a cold or something like that.”

“Alright. I’ll come check it out, you wanna stay in here and keep things locked down?” The officer spoke to his partner, before heading towards the storage room and exit ramp. The other heading back further inside. Excellent, splitting them up would make it much easier.

Firing a blaster in here could risk making too much noise, so as the officer approached the containers Levi had hidden himself behind, he sprung up, grabbing one of the open and empty barrels and slamming it down over the officer’s head, covering his upper half inside the barrel and disorienting him. “Ow! Hey-“ Before the cop could react further, Levi kicked him down the ramp, and he promptly rolled out and away from the ship.

Right around then, the other officer wandered into the storage room, “Hey, you forgot you-“ his words cut off as he caught Levi red-handed, having just finished bucking his partner down the ramp. Their gazes met with an awkward pause, which Levi broke first by firing a shot of his blaster. While the ringing of blaster fire was no longer a problem, he was very much not too happy about the idea of leaving scorch marks throughout the walls of his precious Outrider. The old pipe the officer had been standing next to however, had been rather faulty for some time, and Levi knew just where to hit it. Steam billowed out, obscuring the officer’s vision for long enough to let Levi climb down underneath the cargo room’s grate. He snuck through the ship’s underbelly, tracking the cop’s movement before springing up behind him and firing a single stun shot into the officer’s back.

“That will teach you to impound my ship!” He huffed, dusting himself off as he crawled out of the grate. Levi dragged the limp officer by his belt and collar, tossing him off the side of the ramp, “Good day to you, sir!”

More officers had begun to arrive, and Levi leaned out to call to his new partner, “Rag! Are you done?! It’s time to go!” He then ran back inside, making his way to the cockpit and input the “get the kriff out of here” command, closing off the ramp and taking off as soon as he received the all clear from Rag.

Rag​

 

[Rag]

Rag cocked Rag’s head at a barrel with legs that bounced down the ramp. It was shouting and kicking and stuff. Rag shot it just to be safe. Another guy came flying out, so Rag shot them, too.

The last of the clamps fizzled off the jets. Mozzie was right, now was definitely go-time. But as for whether Rag was done…

Bone stomped up the ramp, bowing it a little under his bulk before it raised up into the belly of the ship. The droid found Mozzie in the cockpit and gave a thumbs up. Ion jets rumbled to life just as a team of security officers had started ambling over to the ship, and then started running towards the unauthorized liftoff. Probably got off one snoozer of a lunch break and missed all the awesome stuff that was going down. And as the guards raced across the tarmac like they could actually do anything at this point, guess who they found on top of the ship?

That’s right. Rag sat knees-tucked on the hull, just above the engines.

“shshsh ME IF YOU shsh YOU shshshshshNG COPPER PIECES OF shshsh AND shshshshshsh YOUR shshsh” was half drowned out by metal-smelling smoke and pulsing thrusters while the Outrider 2 lurched into the sky. Rag threw up double devil horns. “RAG OUT, BAAAAAAAAAAAAABES!”

…

Before they hit space (obviously), Bone climbed up through a service hatch and collected Rag, hair still blown back from the wind and laughing the crap out of Rag’s self. Like, stomach aching laughs. Sure enough, they found Mozzie at the front part.

“Man,” Rag said through giggles, “that’s gotta be the best breakout I’ve ever done. I mean did you see their kriffin’ faces?”

Levi @Bone​

 

[Levi]

Levi had no time to question Rag’s whereabouts, taking Bone’s thumbs up at face value as he kicked the engine into high gear, blasting out of the space port and into atmo. The officers were left in the dust, a few shooting their blasters at the runaway freighter in futility. For a brief moment an interior alarm sounded off in the Outrider, but shut off just as quickly as the service hatch was opened and then closed mid-flight.

“What in the blazes…” Levi scoffed, shaking his head as he punched in the hyperspace coordinates. Before Corellia’s defenses could make any further effort to impede their escape, The Outrider 2 blinked out of sight.

“Well, that was...” His voice trailed off, and a sigh of relief escaped his lips. The duo of Rag and Bone returned to the cockpit, and Levi swiveled around in his chair to meet them.

“Man, that’s gotta be the best breakout I’ve ever done. I mean did you see their kriffin’ faces?”

The Devaronian stared back at them straight-faced, the corner of his lip desperately trying to curl into a smirk. For a few brief moments he stifled his laughter, until he busted out a fit of uproarious guffaws, placing a hand of his belly as he tried to maintain his composure. “Oh, Rag…” He sniffled, wiping away his eyes, “I haven’t had that much fun in ages.”

Levi stood up, straightening his vest as his gaze turned to the hyperspace tunnel swirling outside the widows. “I set us on course for Nar Shaddaa. It’s an easy place to law low for a bit. Considering the uh… commotion, we wrought back there, I figured it best we do so. You can get away with pretty much anything there if you’ve got the credits.” He tugged at his collar while he mused. The coffers weren’t exactly full, at the moment. But, Nar Shaddaa was also an easy place to make money, provided you don’t get the wrong people angry in the process. He shrugged it off. Concern had no place in Levi’s mind at the moment, and he swung back around to approach Rag.

“Rag, dear, I was wondering if… perhaps we could make this a more long-term alliance between us. A partnership. A crew even. I think there’s great potential for us to do even greater things out in this wide and wonderful galaxy of ours. Money. Fame. Adventure!” His eyes lit up more with each word, and he went in for a second attempt at a shake, “What say you?” Just like old times, indeed.

Rag​

 

[Rag]

It was good to see Mozzie laugh. Sure, he was bummed before, but now it’s like he was nozzled on happy juice. Which made “Mozzie” a really bad name for him, like who even named him that in the first place? Oh well. They looked out the ship-hole at the pretty dizzy colors.

Rag had never been to Nar Shaddaa. Rag also hadn’t ever laid low before. And Rag was suspicious that this weird chute they were in would spit them out anywhere worth a dag but… well, who needs fancy-pants dirt to stand on, anyway?

Mozzie spun on Rag with a proposition. An alliance, whatever that meant. But it seemed like Mozzie wanted Rag along. Rag lowered Rag’s goggles and thought about what he was saying — like, thought thought in a way that sort of tickled Rag’s brain. Money. Fame. Adventure. Well, money still sort of confused Rag. Fame was fine and all, but Rag was gonna be famous anyway. Adventure… Mozzie didn’t seem to have a problem with the way Rag did Rag. So maybe…

“Also,” Mozzie said as he stuck his hand out again, “I’ve hidden explosives somewhere on the ship. If you find them, they’re yours.”

What?! With that, it was sealed.

“Deal’s a deal! We’ll go sky high, flyguy!” Rag grabbed Mozzie’s hand with both of Rag’s and shook it hard with a grin. Bone gave a thumbs up. “Where do you wanna go after Nashadra? Rag heard about this hunter on Sarko VI that runs a game show. Not kidding. And if you win, you get a whole karkin’ moon. Oh, also also! This smelly guy told Rag about a moon where…”

Yessir, Rag was a bona fide space pirate now. You may address Rag as “scurvy dog” or “Cap’n Rag.” And this wouldn’t just be good times.

It’d be the best.

Levi @Bone​