Private Kept Waiting

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Eshan //:
//: Sylvia Virtos //: ​

It had been a little since their mother’s resurrection. The thought of someone returning from the dead still baffled the young acolyte’s mind. Getting used to her mother being around again felt like a dream that she had comforted herself with when the woman died. Still, Quinn wasn’t quite sure the price that was paid for Spencer to have returned. Thoughts wandered to her sister, remembering having to fetch her from the netherworld.

Another thing was seeing her Mother, Ashin, march quickly through the tear, foregoing rescuing them - choosing Spencer over the twins. Her nose wrinkled as she thought about this, but when Quinn thought about it, there were reasons she understood. Still, feeling like a second choice was never her idea of a good time. Especially now. Leaning back into the oversized chair, Quinn continued on her fingers how long it had been since she had seen her Space Mouse.

With each finger that she counted, the more frustrated she became. What was wrong with Sylvia keeping her wait this long? With how dangerous the galaxy was, why did she continue to get these odd jobs? Quinn adjusted herself in the chair and looked down at the steaming cup of tea she had made for herself. She felt a sudden flare of anger as she watched the tea. Despite wanting to fling the teacup against the wall, she fought the urge and just pushed it aside. Arms folded in front of her as she nudged the coffee table with her foot.

No, she wasn’t going to reach out first. Sylvia should be the one to reach out to her. Stubbornness prevented her front dialing the girl’s comm number and only fed her frustration. There was no winning in this situation.​

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Feels like home // Eshan spaceport -> park, surprising Quinn Varanin
Dream Dream Dream

---

​

In another part of Eshan, Sylvia had just exited her ship following a week-long job. It hadn't been the intention for it to take that long, but when complications arose her mechu deru skills were the only thing that could fix it. As frustrating as it was, she was here now. A place that felt more and more like home everytime she landed here. As wild and strange as the rollercoaster with Quinn had been so far, the spacer didn't regret a single moment of it. Stepping down the boarding ramp and into the hangar, the magenta-haired girl took a satisfied deep breath. The spaceport had become a very welcome sight.

While Sylvia waited at the boarding ramp, backpack and guitar on her back, Spark came floating out of the ship as well. With a few beeps the droid confirmed everything was good to go, at which its owner snapped her fingers. The ship reacted by retracting the boarding ramp and locking up. She hadn't notified Quinn of the fact she had returned to Eshan just yet, something she normally did well in advance. This time, she wanted the background scenery to give away the hint when she called her Cute Princess Echani. Another idea also came up in her mind as she strolled through the spaceport, causing her to retrieve her holodevice and set directions.

What was more romantic than a big bouquet of flowers? Sylvia wouldn't know, she wasn't all too great at that side of showing affection. That didn't mean she didn't try, though. Walking out of the spaceport and into the open air, she truly felt like a traveller who had just come home. Perhaps a longer break was a good idea. She really had missed Quinn too much.

A short taxi ride later Sylvia found herself at the flower shop. The job had paid quite well, and so going all-out on this felt more than in order. As such, she walked out with a comically large bouquet of roses. The shop was located near a park, where Sylvia took a seat on a bench and pulled out her holodevice once more. This time, she made a call. Behind her, in the distance, the palace where Quinn no doubt was at right now was clearly visible.

"Hey there, cute stuff. Guess where I'm at right now," Sylvia asked while unable to contain her smirk, even though the setting made it quite obvious. Part of the bouquet could be seen next to her.

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Eshan //:
//: Sylvia Virtos //: ​

Quinn had already given up on the day. It frustrated her completely how one small thing such as the Spacer being away. More and more, her frustration grew as she had allowed herself to be controlled by these emotions. Nothing seemed right, not even the cool sensation of the table she sat at while her face rested against it. The audacity Sylvia had for making Quinn wait for as long as she did. How dare she weave her hold on the Echani's heart like this, making her whine like a child waiting for Life day. Each and every moment that passed, Quinn grew infuriated at her predicament.

Time continued to pass, and her black lipstick-stained lips grew thinner. It wasn't until the comm device that rested on the table started to dance, vibrating as it alerted its owner of a call. Quinn groaned and flipped it towards her to see who was calling and being the brat she was - she waited till the last ring and finally answered.

It took every ounce of her willpower to not smile right away, but even her lips began to betray her. A small smile pulled at the corners of her thin lips while she tried not to look at the magenta-haired girl too long. Amber eyes glanced away as she raised an eyebrow at the girl's voice, the same voice she had dreamed of hearing. Quinn would never admit the grasp that the girl had on her, not now - not ever.

She caught a quick glimpse of the scenery around Sylvia and scoffed as she leaned up and remained in view for the Spacer. "Where? Obviously not here." Quinn bit her lip as she felt the heat rising to her cheeks, showing her frustration. Unable to keep her composure, she showed her flustered emotions. Something that Sylvia would have known quite well from their school days. "Well, I hope you enjoy whoever's company that is keeping you away from Eshan." Quickly, she shut the call down and stormed down the hallway and back to her room. Quinn threw herself onto her bed and pouted, doing her best to pretend the tears welling in her eyes weren't because of some silly spacer who dared to mend her shattered heart.​

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

You paint me, red in a light that isn't mine
Quinn Varanin

---

​

Sylvia's smirk quickly dropped into a worried frown. Something was wrong.

It wasn't the kind of response Sylvia had been expecting. Perhaps she should've by now, but the spacer had hoped for their communication to have gotten at least a little more transparent by now. It was difficult to figure out what Quinn was really thinking in moments like this, making it nearly impossible for Sylvia to figure out what she really wanted. It always left her insecure, afraid she was doing everything wrong. She had messed things up once already and when Quinn acted like this, she would become more and more convinced she was about to do it again.

But then, Quinn said something that made Sylvia visibly recoil in shock. An accusation out of left field, one the spacer didn't expect or understand. Had Quinn misunderstood something she had said? Was she simply jumping to conclusions? Did any of that even matter when the princess' mind had already been made up?

"What are you tal-"

The call was cut off. Even though the claim hurled her way was completely unfounded, that fact didn't make her feel any better about the situation. The voice of doubt began its whispers, trying to convince her that this was how it would end. Once again, the belief that she was meant to be alone began rushing through her head. She had to fight off the thought that there was no point in trying anymore and just leaving Eshan, never to come back. She slouched into the park bench, feelings of hopelessness becoming more powerful by the second.

With one hand balled into a fist, squeezing so tight her fingernails left imprints in the inside of her hand, she picked her holocommunicator back up. She probably wouldn't pick up again, but maybe she'd read her messages, even if it would take a while. All Sylvia could do was try to set the record straight. If Quinn looked, she'd be able to see her typing for a long time as she typed a line and deleted it only to repeat the process a dozen times. Once the message was finally finished, she hesitated, staring at the words on the screen.

: I'm trying to figure out what I did to make you think that, but I just don't know. All I can say is that I haven't been with anyone else. If you don't believe me, then I don't think I can do anything to convince you otherwise. Please, talk to me. I don't want to lose you. :

With shut eyes, Sylvia pressed the 'send' button. She immediately had the urge to send more, but stopped herself from doing so. As she put the device down next to her, the urge persisted, but she knew nothing else could make it better. Thirty minutes. If Quinn hadn't responded by then, she'd go back to her ship. There, she'd give it the rest of the day. If the silence continued, she'd know enough.

A pit formed in her stomach.

 

[Quinn Varanin]

The soft chime that the princess had set for Sylvia in her comm device echoed against the duvet. She ignored the first two but then picked up on the third. Amber eyes shifted back and forth as she read the paragraph from the spacer and her chest tightened. Quinn knew she was overreacting, but something in the back of her mind kept her anxious about this affair.

Quinn quickly sat up and curled her legs under her as she sat up straight. Fingers quickly glided along against the device’s screen as she responded. Hopefully, she wasn’t too late and could prevent Sylvia from leaving for another excursion. The message blinked, showing that it was sent.

<No, I’m dumb - don’t leave.> It was quick, mainly because Quinn already feared the worse. When Sylvia didn’t read the princess’ mind and responded back instantly, Quinn slipped on a pair of shoes and ran down the stairs and through the garden. She knew the precise location where Sylvia had been standing; it was moronic for her to not realize sooner. As the sound of her shoes beat against the paved path, Quinn scolded herself.

With the aid of the Force, Quinn made it to where Sylvia was. Quickly catching her, Quinn nearly tackled the poor girl as she lunged, wrapping her arms around her and burying her face into Sylvia’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” She muffled against fabric and shoulder. The hug tightened as she inhaled, holding back embarrassed tears. “Don’t leave again.” She murmured and then finally looked up, her eyes and nose red from crying earlier. “I missed you.”

Sylvia Virtos ​

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Quinn Varanin

---

​

A buzz. Sylvia looked over, but something kept her from picking up the device. As thoughts started to settle, doubt crept in. It felt like Quinn needed things from her that she hadn't been able to provide. It hadn't gone past the spacer that Quinn didn't like her times of absence, yet she herself felt like a caged bird without her work. All the while, Sylvia felt like she hadn't given the princess the support she needed in the rougher times she had been through. Perhaps this latest absence had been the straw. It left her stressed out, making her question her own motives.

A trembling sigh preceded the act of picking up her holodevice and opening the message. Sylvia had expected a message that carried finality, but instead it was one that did little to quell any of her doubts despite the fact it was supposed to be relieving. Not even the admission did much to help now. There was simply too much going on in the mind of the spacer to calm down.

The device was pocketed before she buried her face into her hands and blew out a deep breath through her nose. Despite it all, Quinn somehow still pulled her in every single time. Paying no more mind to the bouquet next to her, she stood up and began walking circles around the bench. A million things she wanted to say to the echani blossomed in her mind at once, then bled into each other until none of it could be put into words anymore.

Sylvia came to a halt when she caught sight of Quinn running towards her. There was a certain sense of desperation in the way the echani embraced her and the things she said. Only after the daze it left Sylvia in began to fade a few moments later did she return the hug.

"Quinn..."

It was all she was able to vocalize before words failed her. Eyes locked with Quinn's, light blue orbs that allowed the echani to see the hurt she was wrestling with. As badly as Sylvia wanted to tell herself nothing was wrong, that simply wasn't the way things were. She swallowed, trying to push down the lump in her throat.

"What is it you want from me? Need from me? I'm... lost." The saddened tone conveyed a sense of hopelessness. Sylvia wasn't confident she was able to provide whatever Quinn would ask of her.

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Sylvia Virtos //:
​

This had definitely not been the welcome home that Sylvia had wanted, and Quinn knew she had overreacted. Pulling away slightly, Quinn did her best to hide the emotion on her face. She was hurt, primarily for not hearing words that she wanted to hear. She might have been far too damaged to even feel emotions for anyone again, but she felt something for the Spacer.

Lips parted, but no sound came as she worked up the courage to finally look back at her distant lover. “I just want you.” Quinn felt her voice weak as she spoke, but a weight lifted from her shoulders as she said it. “I just want to know that you’re safe and that you’re coming home. I hate waiting for you, I hate wondering if things are okay - I know you keep in contact, but there are times that you’re stuck somewhere and communication is bad.” Pausing, she felt her amber gaze fall and stare hard at the pavement. “I’m scared you’re going to leave as Vesta did. Decide that there’s something more important.”

The urge to run and seclude herself away in her room grew. Quinn felt her heart and her soul exposed, and she hated that feeling. The weakness that Sylvia brought her felt as if she would fall to her knees, clawing and chasing, trying to hold on. She wanted to run and never look back. Despite her feelings, nothing dramatic happened, though, and Quinn remained where she stood.

“I don’t want to stay back anymore; I want to go with you. I-I left the Empire, I didn’t belong there - I didn’t believe in what they were doing. People I knew that stayed - they’re not the same. Something changed.” Quinn shook her head and reached out for Sylvia’s hand, and clasped her hand around it gently. A smile crossed her face as she nodded. “Please, don’t feel lost. I’m sorry for my reaction earlier - I-” She bit her lower lip, trying to find the words as she leaned forward slightly and spoke once more - her voice barely a whisper. "Care so much about you - you scare me, but in a good way."

Fingers caressed along Sylvia’s chin as she searched for similar feelings from the other girl. Hesitantly she leaned in, longing for the kiss she had dreamed endlessly of. As she inched forward, she spoke again but stopped herself, "I think - I'm in lo--"​

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Quinn Varanin

---

​

Guilt settled into Sylvia's mind, sinking its claws in deep and breaking through into her expression. Seeing the pain and uncertainty she caused Quinn hit hard, wiping away the simple joy she once got from certain antics. There had been something entertaining about how the echani reacted to her being late and being made to wait, but now that the insecurity behind it surfaced there was nothing fun left about it. Not a bone in Sylvia's body had ever wanted to make Quinn feel like she had abandoned her without so much as a word.

Caught up in emotion, Sylvia was left speechless. What had always felt as simply heading out for work and nothing more now had so much more weight to it. She could only stare at Quinn as the echani cast her gaze downward, wishing she knew the right words to say. All she wanted was to let her know how bad she felt for instilling those feelings within her, but also how it was a good thing that she opened up about it. As captivating as Quinn was, she was difficult to read too.

Between Sylvia's failure to find the right words and Quinn's vulnerability, the spacer felt her own feelings tug at her. At the same time, the spacer struggled balancing the perceived rejection she got first and the admission she was given now. Perspective was difficult to find; perhaps it wasn't the right time to tell Quinn what she herself wanted from her.

Then, Quinn continued, telling Sylvia things she never expected to hear. She wasn't sure which of the two things surprised her more, though both were good to hear for different reasons. The echani even managed a smile and as strained as it was, she did receive one back. Sylvia was still going to need some time to let her thoughts settle again.

Quinn's voice became a whisper. Sylvia's cheeks turned red as she felt the caress. No resistance was shown as the echani leaned in.

"I think - I'm in lo--"

Hesitation. Sylvia felt the wall Quinn seemed too afraid to let fall. Perhaps she needed more time, but all the understanding in the world didn't take away from the fear of rejection it instilled in the spacer. Her expression softened, a mask to hide those feelings.

"It's okay if you need more time first. I'm patient." The faintest tug curled her lips upwards. Sylvia reached for the hand that clasped around her other, joining it with the rest. What she didn't say was that she needed that time herself too. Today had been a difficult day.

"My ship's a bit of a mess, but you're more than welcome to come along. Gives me a reason to tidy it up."