Nicair Claden
The Iron Heart
Warriors without a war are dangerous. Fighters with nothing to fight for are dangerous. A Mandalorian purposely without his armor.. is one of the most dangerous things in this galaxy and the next and the one past that. Some people can stare daggers into the abyss and never flinch with a returned gaze. Some people can fight monsters and not fret when they inevitably become them. It's when the darkness pulls back, and the light steps in to fill its place. It's when the light leaves that the darkness hits with more intensity than ever before. The briefest, smallest taste of the light, can leave people starving for it forever. Some, the strongest ones, keep searching for that light, they keep striving for it and displaying it. Some had it all along and didn't notice, or didn't want to. Some embrace the darkness when it comes back as an old friend. Some people who live their lives in the darkness, were stretched too thin trying to find the light. To compound on the earlier topic; a good man tired of living in the light? They are the most dangerous creature this galaxy has ever seen.
He didn't know how long he'd been walking. Could have been hours, could have been mere moments. Time blended together recently. Everything was stretched out, every second ticked by with an agonizing lethargy. He had no way to keep track of time, usually he would have used his helmet, but he hadn't touched his armor in weeks. It was piled up in a locked storage closet on his ship which was.. east of his currently location? West? Was this the relatively bad part of the city? The planet? It was his old hunting grounds, he knew that much. He didn't know how long ago it had been since he stalked the stalkers and murdered the murderers in these particular streets. How easy it had been back then, however long ago that was. Everything was so simple. Kill the bad people. Avenge those that couldn't do it themselves. Easy. Cut and dry simple. Until it wasn't anymore. Until it all felt pointless, until he got bored living in the shadows, and made an attempt at the light. It didn't work.
He knew very vaguely what he was. His lineage was Sociph in nature, each one a psychopath. But he was something else, something different. There's always been the question of whether a Sociph is made or born, in effect it's galaxy wide. But for the Sociph, usually it was simple. Cut and dry simple. A Sociph is born, a psychopath is born. The two were inseparable, until Nicair came back to his planet. None before him had valued honor, integrity, or discipline. None before him had ever felt love. All of those things were considered insults, weakness, and would have labeled him a slave on their planet. A Tarish he believed they were called. The Tarish were, in effect, just like any other normally developed human being in the galaxy with their full range of emotions.
Nicair wasn't that either. He fought for honor, mostly; he lived his life with integrity and discipline, definitely so. Did he genuinely believe in those principles? He wouldn't have, but it's how he was raised. At least, that's what he always told himself. It made everything easier to deal with believing he wasn't a genuinely good man. That all the killing was just in his nature, that the enjoyment he felt was just.. that. He didn't enjoy it because he was doing the right thing, which is arguable in many cultures. At least he wasn't doing it because he felt it was the right thing. No, he liked to believe he did it because he enjoyed it. It kept everything from getting muddled. He enjoyed it, no reason to delve into the why. A "good" man tries to be happy, yes? He genuinely didn't know. His moments of happiness were a brief respite in the gladiatorial pits of his adolescence with his then wife. Maybe he'd never gotten over her death, not really.
It had been years ago, and it had started him on his path of vengeance at nothing in particular and a rage at something he couldn't find. Any further attempts at happiness were distractions that brought him away from his mission with the ambiguous objectives. It took a failed attempt at happiness for him to finally know what that goal was. Nicair wanted to die. So he'd taken hunts few others could survive, and he went to wars few wished to go. He'd delved into every underground death match the galaxy over, and had few new scars to show for it. It took him a few months, but it came to him.
He'd die where he'd killed. He was a hunter, a manhunter to be sure. But he'd never let himself be true prey, never let himself be stalked without a proper plan. Never let it get out of hand. Anyone who thought they had him trapped was soon found to be sorely mistaken, and quite dead. Without his armor Nicair was as vulnerable as he could be. The only other way would be if he were asleep of which he got little. If he was to die, it wouldn't be that way. There was no good in it, no dignity.
Nicair was tired, of waiting more than anything.
[member="Yasha Cadera"]
***
He didn't know how long he'd been walking. Could have been hours, could have been mere moments. Time blended together recently. Everything was stretched out, every second ticked by with an agonizing lethargy. He had no way to keep track of time, usually he would have used his helmet, but he hadn't touched his armor in weeks. It was piled up in a locked storage closet on his ship which was.. east of his currently location? West? Was this the relatively bad part of the city? The planet? It was his old hunting grounds, he knew that much. He didn't know how long ago it had been since he stalked the stalkers and murdered the murderers in these particular streets. How easy it had been back then, however long ago that was. Everything was so simple. Kill the bad people. Avenge those that couldn't do it themselves. Easy. Cut and dry simple. Until it wasn't anymore. Until it all felt pointless, until he got bored living in the shadows, and made an attempt at the light. It didn't work.
He knew very vaguely what he was. His lineage was Sociph in nature, each one a psychopath. But he was something else, something different. There's always been the question of whether a Sociph is made or born, in effect it's galaxy wide. But for the Sociph, usually it was simple. Cut and dry simple. A Sociph is born, a psychopath is born. The two were inseparable, until Nicair came back to his planet. None before him had valued honor, integrity, or discipline. None before him had ever felt love. All of those things were considered insults, weakness, and would have labeled him a slave on their planet. A Tarish he believed they were called. The Tarish were, in effect, just like any other normally developed human being in the galaxy with their full range of emotions.
Nicair wasn't that either. He fought for honor, mostly; he lived his life with integrity and discipline, definitely so. Did he genuinely believe in those principles? He wouldn't have, but it's how he was raised. At least, that's what he always told himself. It made everything easier to deal with believing he wasn't a genuinely good man. That all the killing was just in his nature, that the enjoyment he felt was just.. that. He didn't enjoy it because he was doing the right thing, which is arguable in many cultures. At least he wasn't doing it because he felt it was the right thing. No, he liked to believe he did it because he enjoyed it. It kept everything from getting muddled. He enjoyed it, no reason to delve into the why. A "good" man tries to be happy, yes? He genuinely didn't know. His moments of happiness were a brief respite in the gladiatorial pits of his adolescence with his then wife. Maybe he'd never gotten over her death, not really.
It had been years ago, and it had started him on his path of vengeance at nothing in particular and a rage at something he couldn't find. Any further attempts at happiness were distractions that brought him away from his mission with the ambiguous objectives. It took a failed attempt at happiness for him to finally know what that goal was. Nicair wanted to die. So he'd taken hunts few others could survive, and he went to wars few wished to go. He'd delved into every underground death match the galaxy over, and had few new scars to show for it. It took him a few months, but it came to him.
He'd die where he'd killed. He was a hunter, a manhunter to be sure. But he'd never let himself be true prey, never let himself be stalked without a proper plan. Never let it get out of hand. Anyone who thought they had him trapped was soon found to be sorely mistaken, and quite dead. Without his armor Nicair was as vulnerable as he could be. The only other way would be if he were asleep of which he got little. If he was to die, it wouldn't be that way. There was no good in it, no dignity.
Nicair was tired, of waiting more than anything.
[member="Yasha Cadera"]