First Reply Leavin' Yesterday Behind

[Aeris Lashiec]

The sheen of passing streetlights swept through the carriage as it bumped up and down over the cracked concrete of the Denon streets. Today's acid rain had passed and the lingering humidity was approaching a comfortable point between fog and soup. And even still, the air here felt easier to breathe in than the air she had sucked in on Coruscant. It was as if a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders and another one had been added to her heart; the weight of a clear conscience versus the weight of never really saying goodbye.

In the end, farewell was difficult. Kai had gotten a cryptic little note from her that she was "done with it all", and that she would "start traveling again". Yula had kindly provided Aeris with a couch to sleep on for the last three days while she sorted herself out, despite the fact that Aeris had shown up out of pretty much nowhere.

And now here she was, alone and on her way to the docks to see wherever the story went from here. As she stepped out of the bus and into the station's main terminal she glanced up at the big board of departures to try and figure out just exactly where she was needed the most. Her faith in the New Jedi Order might have been shaken to the point of shattering, but her faith in what she knew that it meant to be a Jedi was not.

The Coruscant shuttle departed no sooner than she glanced at it. Had she not known better she would have said it was somewhat symbolic.

So what would it be? Alderaan? Sullust? Dantooine, maybe?

It was a big galaxy out there with a lot of new people to meet.

 

[Loomi]

Denon
Tags: Aeris Lashiec

"S-see? All we wound up finding is danger."

Loomi had just finished knocking out the last of a band of thugs, returning her strange blade to the gourd on her hip. A sigh escaped from her lips as her droid companion, Yogurt, complained about the sudden danger. Mostly out of fear.

"I hate when I'm right," the spark whirred.

"Golly, relax a little," Loomi frowned. "It's fine. I just needed information. These... just aren't the folks I'm lookin' for."

She was looking for affiliates of the pirate gang that had seemingly taken her captive before she lost her memories. The Godoan had woken up on their ship, after all. It made sense to think that it may be a route to finding who she was or where she came from. Alas, Denon was a dead end. A sigh escaped her lips as she disappointedly conceded to the wishes of her companion. There was nothing left here. All they could do was go home.

Loomi, with a hung head, stepped out of the alleyway she had found these criminals in. Her eyes remained fixed on the pavement as her head was flooded with doubts. Maybe it was a fool's errand. Perhaps her past simply wasn't out there.

Power-walking face first into the shoulder of a passerby brought her out of this daze and promptly onto the ground. Even her mechanical legs couldn't keep her from toppling over. Her head recoiling from the sudden impact was enough to tip her already poor balance. Worst of all, she jammed her nose on the stranger's shoulder. That would hurt for a while. Loomi sat up, rubbing her nose and looking rather bashfully at the ground. She was far to embarrassed to make eye contact with the blond woman she had ran straight into.

"Sh-shucks, I'm sorry," the Godoan apologized sheepishly. "I guess I lost track of myself."

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

Loomi

It had only been, what, five days in total and yet Aeris was already finding her way back into the groove of being on the move. It was almost funny how fast it happened, one moment she was walking and the next she was instinctively bracing against someone walking into her while guarding her pockets all the while.

She kept her balance, raised her shoulder to take most of the incoming force. Of course, once it was clear that this was not a shoddy attempt at a pickpocket but someone that had genuinely just stumbled into Aeris she quickly eased up a little and extended her hand to pull the kid back up off the ground. The only difficult part in any of this was the strange urge to also brush them down to help with the dirt, but this was Denon. People did not help each other on Denon.

"No problem." Aeris tried to hide her Core-ish accent, but those Imperial R's were as difficult to hide now as they were any other time she got a little too self-conscious about the way in which she spoke. "We all lose track of ourselves every now and again."

"Are you okay?"

 

[Loomi]

Denon
Tags: Aeris Lashiec

"No problem. We all lose track of ourselves every now and again."

Loomi eased up upon hearing the woman's kind words, along with the gesture to help her to her feet. The Godoan accepted it, all be it greatly embarrassed while doing so. Once to her feet, her senses began to spill back in. The Force seemed to move around the woman in a way that was uncommon for your regular civilian. Was she a Jedi? Had she just blown a shadow's cover? A part of Loomi very much hoped that the woman was just an some random Force sensitive. She technically wasn't supposed to be on Denon at the moment.

The attempt to hide her accent hadn't even registered in the Godoan's mind.

"I-I'm fine. Yeah," Loomi nodded, her antennae curling back ever so slightly. "Just... lost. Lost, yeah. This place is a real maze. I've never been before now... At least I think I haven't..."

This was a lie. Loomi was naturally adept at tracking... she just didn't pay attention sometimes. But the latter part was true. As far as she was aware, she had never been to Denon before now. It was very different to Coruscant. She had not yet decided if she liked either yet. Both worlds seemed off.

"Do you live here, miss?"

Loomi winced a little at the rather unnatural progression to the conversation she had made, but it was better that then relaying to a stranger that she was a Jedi off breaking the rules.

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

That was certainly a response. Aeris wanted to prod, but once again, nobody did that on Denon. At least nobody with a desire to make it in the long run and to then keep on making it. Perfect place to hide, but also a really good place to forget who you are. Aeris chuckled at the suggestion that she was from around here.

"If you asked me around maybe a decade ago, sure." She held back the smile that wanted to come forth for a moment. "These days I just sort of go wherever I need to go."

Her eyes then fell upon the little ball thing the Godoan girl seemed to carry around. If Aeris were to hazard a guess she figured that it was some sort of weapon or tool. People did not carry things on their person like that unless they needed easy access to it in a hurry. Besides, Aeris was familiar with the concept. There were a few things capable of producing a more natural form of weapon, some even powerful enough to withstand a lightsaber blade.

Her eyes rose to meet the kid's again and then the robot's with a suspicious glare.

"That thing doesn't record, does it?" Aeris asked and continued to stare into the lens.

Loomi

 

[Loomi]

Denon
Tags: Aeris Lashiec

"That thing doesn't record, does it?"

"Thing?" Loomi frowned, initially confused at what the woman was asking about, but the whirring of her droid companion quickly tipped her off to what she was asking about. "Oh. Uh... I'm not sure. Yogurt, do you... do that thing that she said?"

"My software wasn't programmed to be capable of retaining anything my photoreceptor observes," Yogurt stated. "All logged information in my hard drive relates to internal data and any logs uploaded by an external source. Currently the only logs I've retained are your medic-"

"-Thank you, Yogurt," the Godoan was quick to interrupt, clearly flustered. That was personal information. She didn't need him rattling that off. "He isn't recording, miss."

A frown came to her face. Why was she so worried about being recorded? There was certainly a tense air about her, even as the woman seemed to be friendly. Loomi didn't think she had done anything wrong, except for maybe bump into her on accident. Maybe it was just this Denon place. It certainly was a weird planet.

A chill ran up her spine when a new thought came to her. What if she wasn't supposed to be here? Like more than just because the Order didn't approve it.

"I-I'm not in trouble, am I?" she asked, growing slightly concerned.

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

Loomi

"Good. Wipe that medical data later." Aeris nodded and looked back at Loomi. "You are not in trouble with me, kid. Let us just say that there are certain people — organizations — that I do not want to be around right now."

The terminal was busy, their conversation was hidden in the cacophony of everyone else going about their day and heading off to destinations only they and theirs knew of. Aeris looked at the departures, then the kid.

She placed her hand on the kid's shoulder.

"Look, you seem to be a good kid. Denon is not a place for someone like you, and I think even you understand that to some extent. Your demeanor, the way you walk and talk makes you stand out like a sore thumb. Straighten your back," Aeris demonstrated how. "Look me in the eyes," She motioned her hand between the two of them, index finger wiggling to illustrate the point. "And tell me you are not from where I think you are from right now."

Innocence, high-tech companion, probably a weapon on her belt… The Jedi had embedded agents on Denon seeking to do the impossible and end its corruption, but this girl was not it even if she was skirting far too close to it. No way the New Jedi Order had greenlit that, unless they were even more fargone than Aeris had believed. She doubted that very much, but then, she had also not expected them to commit genocide so what did she know?

A flare of frustration bubbled under her skin for a moment before she took a deep breath and stared, pierced through Loomi's eyes as if to grip at her very soul for the truth.

 

[Loomi]

Denon
Tags: Aeris Lashiec

"And tell me you are not from where I think you are from right now."

"Well I... I don't know where I'm from," Loomi replied with a deep sigh.

"I believe that she's indicating that she knows you're with the Order," Yogurt informed.

"O-oh, that," she frowned, "Uh... yeah. I am, I guess..."

Loomi glanced around sheepishly, trying to think of something to explain herself. There really was nothing she could say to deflect from why she was here. It was probably better for the Godoan to explain herself before she caused more problems.

"I'm not really supposed to be here," the teen confessed. "B-but I had to. I thought... I thought I found something important. I... didn't actually though. Not really."

She thought she had found affiliates of the pirates who had captured her. Unfortunately, it was really just a loose lead. All she had really found was an alleyway full of angry criminals and a whole lot of nothing. Loomi seemed to have really just wound up wasting her time. Maybe she deserved to be spoken to sternly by this strange woman. Her tone seemed to suggest some frustration. Maybe she didn't like Jedi... or was trying to get away from them.

"I guess you probably don't wanna be bothered by someone like me then?"

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

The Order, just as Aeris had suspected. She let out a sigh as her hand slipped off of the teenager's shoulder. This was luckily enough not one of the higher ups, and given how the Godoan was acting it felt like a fair shot to say that she did not recognize Aeris. The blonde lifted her shoulders.

"I do not mind people like you. What I do mind is…" Aeris paused to choose her words very carefully before she sat down on one of the nearby benches and encouraged Loomi to do the same. "When something meant to keep the peace is partially responsible for the destruction of a planet."

She looked over at Loomi to probe her reaction. No doubt even the teenager was bound to understand what it was that Aeris was speaking of. No matter how innocently naive Loomi seemed to be she must have heard of Exegol by now. A deep sigh swept in and out of Aeris breath as she lowered her voice and turned to speak to the teenager directly. Once she had made sure nobody was listening in she continued.

"Varobalder was opposed to the idea and yet he gave his life to follow through on it." Aeris almost whispered as she spoke. "Does that seem right to you?"

"We as Jedi cannot exist without the dark, and the dark cannot exist without the light." Aeris said and motioned as if to shift two diametrically opposed points in an orbit around an invisible planet. "When we start so-called purging the dark we are only shifting it towards ourselves."

"We are in a false peace right now. If the Council of the New Jedi Order believes that this has done nothing more than embolden the dark and push themselves closer to the edge then they are delusional."

Loomi

 

[Loomi]

Denon
Tags: Aeris Lashiec

"When something meant to keep the peace is partially responsible for the destruction of a planet."

"Th-the Jedi didn't destroy Exegol," Loomi frowned, taken aback by the sudden shift in the subject. "The Maw preformed a ritual that took the planet with them, i-it killed billions. That was the last thing anyone wanted."

She mentioned Master Varobalder, the councilmember who had given his life that day. It sounded personal, more so than Loomi expected. Did she know him?

"If the station was intended to destroy Exegol, Master Varobalder wouldn't have sacrificed himself," she stated. "I didn't know him... but you did. Clearly. You wouldn't believe your friend would do something like that, would you? Condemn a planet to death?"

A furrow came to Loomi's brow. Why was she snapping at her for this? The Godoan hadn't been there, and she barely knew anyone yet.

"Why are you yelling at me about this?" She snapped back. "I don't know what the Council thinks. I don't even know who I am!"

Loomi turned away immediately. She didn't want the woman to see her face. Tears were streaming down them, uncontrollably. Something about the woman lecturing her out of the blue for something out of her control tugged at something at the back of her mind.

"I-I'm sorry," she apologized while turned away. "I-I sh-shouldn't have snapped. I... I don't know what you want from me. It sounds like you'd be better off talking to them about it. Hiding only makes what you fear real."

Hiding only makes fear real. She hadn't said that. Someone had told it to her before. A very long time ago. She didn't know who. Loomi couldn't conjure any faces in her mind.

Just silhouettes.

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

Loomi

The Jedi DID go there to destroy Exegol. To purge it of the dark would still have been to strip it of its soul and leave its husk behind. It would have been like siphoning the darkness from Dagobah or even Yavin IV, both of which were important to the Jedi because of their history and yet they housed a darkness that was a danger to anyone claiming to be of the light.

And that was beyond the point that it was an attack on what could constitute a holy site for the Sith.

So to say they didn't destroy Exegol was merely technically correct. The destruction would still have happened, but not by as direct means as those brought about by the Maw's ritual. And this was still not saying that any of this had a simple answer to it. Would the planet be intact if the Alliance had never attacked? Potentially. Would that also have meant the scourge of the Maw would still be around? Undoubtedly. Aeris wanted to consider the whole picture, because in the end the Jedi had a tendency to assume their cause was righteous and true even when that might not necessarily have been the case and in the truest of ends good intentions meant very little to the majority of people who stood outside of a nation's respective religious orders.

The early NJO was mired with diplomatic problems because of brash leaders, the Ashlan Crusade was a fanatic army, and nothing scared Aeris more than being the cause for the NJO turning back into its old self, even worse; the perversion that she believed anything with the word "crusade" in it to be.

But then, that wasn't important. Aeris was taken aback for a moment to look at the teenager. As much as she wanted to point all of this out she kept quiet and let Loomi wade through the emotional outburst at her own pace. Aeris supposed the last thing the teenager wanted was the comfort of some disillusioned, maybe-semi-important-once-upon-a-time Jedi.

As such Aeris let out another sigh and did nothing to help with that.

"I did not mean to cause this reaction." She said in earnest and bowed her head. "I am sorry."

"Amnesia is a very serious condition, and one that I would not wish on anyone."

"Despite our perhaps poor introductions, is there anything I can do to help with that?"

 

[Loomi]

Denon
Tags: Aeris Lashiec

"Despite our perhaps poor introductions, is there anything I can do to help with that?"

"I don't think so," Loomi sighed, clearing her face. "I don't think anyone can. All the healers went to said that messing with my mind was too dangerous and that I should let it come back naturally..."

She didn't want to wait. Everything seemed to be clawing at the back of her mind, trembling in anticipation to be released. She just needed to find the key. It filled the Godoan with agony to be drip-fed memories.

"I... understand your frustrations, miss," the Godoan finally stated, "But the Order was in a situation where doing nothing was impossible. E-even if it would've rendered Exegol force dead, maybe some of the innocents could have been saved... I don't know. What I do know is that something terrible happened to me out there. Something my own mind isn't letting me remember. The alternative to dangerous action is leaving countless more to suffer... whatever made me this. Torn apart... Mindless... What makes anyone truly in the right then?"

Loomi turned away again, gesturing for Yogurt to follow.

"I should leave," she decided. "I don't want to get in trouble any more than I already am. Keep your grudge with the council. That's none of my business, but don't you get it in your head that Varobalder died for nothing. Nobody dies for nothing."

Nobody should think of people they knew in that manner. With that, her peace had been made. She had unwillingly been dragged into the complicated inner struggles of a stranger. Now she was exiting it on her own terms.

"I hope you find what you're looking for out here," she added, her tone somber. She was, despite all the stress the woman had just caused her, still genuinely concerned.

And with that, she was gone. Vanished into the streets of Denon.

Exit.​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

There it was again, that anger or frustration that pulled at her strings. Aeris had never said Varobalder died for 'nothing', she had said he died doing something she had been told he was opposed to or at the very least concerned about by Varobalder himself.

And 'grudge' with the council. Aeris kept from scoffing from the pure indignation that flared up within her. This was not a grudge, it was a surgical cut to remove a tumor in the side of the Order's ranks, namely herself. But maybe it was too much to ask some teenager to understand that.

Aeris' eyes were already set on the departure board by the time the teenager had disappeared. She figured 'screw it' as she stepped aboard whichever shuttle was the closest. If this one didn't take her out of Alliance space then the next one would, or the one after that until the so-called 'golden' starbird was nowhere to be seen.

Maybe next time she'd just ignore whoever bumped into her. It was probably for the best.