Light Within

[Darben Skirae]

Darben was not expecting visitors. At least, he was hoping not. Yes, he had agreed to meet with [member="Stardust Raxis"] today. But the reason, he was not the most eager for. He had sent Mia out, to take Renla with her as he did not want Renla to see him in this state and his nervous tendencies had really gotten to him. The night before had been another one of the worse nights. His bed was a mess, sheets all over the place. He'd woken in a cold sweat, filled with fear. He had been having worse and worse nightmares, sometimes he was closing the door so no one would see him in this state. He had kept this hidden for so long...now it was out.

He sat in his room above the store, on the side of his bed. Darben had put the closed sign up. On his bedside table, three empty glasses and another in hand. And it got even worse if one saw how ragged he looked. He took another nervous drink from the glass in hand as he waited, still hoping that this could just blow over.

 

[Stardust Solus Skirae]

[member="Darben Skirae"]

This type of thing stardust didn't do...often, however she felt it was her duty to help darben out....since renla had asked and was so worried about him stardust couldn't ignore a thing. Her speeder arrived within a minute and she departed as she sighed and looked to the store. Door was unlocked for her it seemed...She opened it and closed the door locking it as she rather no one bother them during this

She was nervous herself how would this go? She brought no weapons not even her sabers and wore no armor. Simply her everyday clothing, she started up the stairs slowly as she let her sense roam and touch him as she took a breath in and sighed knocking on his door

Hey darben it's me stardust

 

[Darben Skirae]

Darben startled as he heard a knock on the door. He lifted his head up slightly, putting the glass quickly on the table. Possibly making a loud glass-against-wood sound as he set it down quickly. "Uh, right. Come in...it's unlocked." He tried to tidy his hair up, but it didn't help as much. He was not prepared for a visit, even though he had agreed to one. Once the door was open, [member="Stardust Raxis"] would no doubt see the mess that was his room. "Had a rough night, but it was nothing really."

 

[Stardust Solus Skirae]

[member="Darben Skirae"]

She listened to the noise within, she took a breath and sighed as she opened the door slowly and glanced around his room a bit...odd for this man...usually his room is nice and kept and him self kept well, for a mess like this to be present he...well stardust knew he needed help now

nothing really? I see three glasses plus one full

She closed the door behind her and then used the force to Nov a object in front of it, then using the force she took the full glass and poured it out setting it down. No one was leaving nor drinking....

I'll get right to it...renla said you've been crying in your sleep, not to mention your excessive drinking....that I've witnessed as well

She moved closer and sighed setting by him

What is bothering you my friend?

 

[Darben Skirae]

Darben Skirae watched as the glass flew through the air to her hand. He felt ashamed, even though he had tried he should have known that nothing would have helped hide his problems. His room a mess, he was a mess. He watched as [member="Stardust Raxis"] poured at the drink then set the glass back down. "That brandy was not cheap..." he grumbled. He had not meant to grumble, yet he didn't even add surprised at himself. He might have even been a bit drunk, he honestly did not know.

"Renla, huh?" He sighed, his hand against his forehead. Out of all the people he wanted to hide this from...well, of course she would find out eventually. "What bothers me?" he asked, turning to Stardust for a moment. Then he looked at where the drink had been poured on. "A lot bothers me...did you know I'm Corellian? Surely you know what happened there...plus the multiple times Commenor has been attacked, or myself attacked..." He moved a hand to his shoulder, that he had hurt a while ago. But the wound was still fresh in his mind.

 

[Stardust Solus Skirae]

[member="Darben Skirae"]

I couldn't care less the cost, I'll waste a barrel if I have to

She said with no emotion, she then closed her eyes and listened to him looking towards the spot where she poured the drink it sizzles for a moment then was gone dried up. She blinked and looked over to him and then forward. She hasn't been here when the planet was attacked...She fekt her duties as part of the order she had failed...

I could've guessed off your appearance, but I k ow now and yes I know what happened to the planet....

She paused and looked forward as she sighed, she lifted her shirt up to show a wound in her belly right out to the back then lowered her shirt

I understand what you mean...it's survivors guilt. Of a had my fair share of it....way to many then what I want...even now it's still a plague within my mind a demon I fight

Maybe she herself needed to talk as well

 

[Darben Skirae]

He nodded with sorrowful eyes. His family had been there...he had no idea truly if they lived or not. But when he had seen it happen...he doubted very much that they had. She then lifted up her shirt, and he glanced away quickly after seeing the wound. "How'd...how'd it..." He wanted to ask how it happened, but he just sighed again, another question coming to mind.

"How do you do it? How do you get by, knowing it could have been you?" He sighed again, a much heavier sigh this time however. "I need help...I know I do. For my sake, for Renla's sake...I don't want her ending up like me. Drinking my sorrow's away, gambling whenever the chance comes. Secluding myself after something happens, for months at a time." But he couldn't...he couldn't find himself able to ask. Yet in a way, he was now...now, he was in a way asking for help.

 

[Stardust Solus Skirae]

[member="Darben Skirae"]

remember when the incursion happened? Those droids going and attacking planets? They sent one to the moon above my world and got then to attack us, the hrd...the one leading it stabbed me right through the stomach....I broke him...with the force...

She answered, she looked away as now she was being asked how she dealt with it, she looked to her hands and images flashed before her eyes every death every man that died before her or under her command...She closed her hands into fist and closed her eyes taking a breath

sometimes it fades, sometimes it stays, other times I accept that it wasn't my fate.

She looked to him as she sighed and nodded, she reached over and put a hand on his shoulder, in a way she could help herself...and help him in the same motion

we will get through this, the room is blocked off so we both can't leave. I need to face my demons as you. But we won't go in this alone... darben if I may I want to enter your mind...let the force guide us

 

[Darben Skirae]

He barely remembered the Incursion. How long ago had that been? A while ago for sure. And a droid...it sounded like it was painful. [member="Stardust Raxis"] went on to say how sometimes the guilt faded. "You make it look so easy..."

She asked something, and immediately he was standing up. In his mind? He had secrets, painful memories. "Wait, inside? T-there is a lot in there, secrets and...and..." And things he hoped would never surface again. He couldn't go through all that. Or let someone else...could he? He was reluctant to allow this.

 

[Stardust Solus Skirae]

[member="Darben Skirae"]

its never easy, you but deal with it slowly and slowly and it fades like ice

She nodded and looked to him as she stood, she reached and took his hand as she stood tall and sighed

as do I, however...i think the best way to help one another is to see what is within...as I said you won't be alone at all

She said and squeezed his hands

please trust me it'll help

 

[Darben Skirae]

So it just...melts away? Still sounded easier in words than it actually was. "You still manage, though. I can't. I put it all behind drinking and loneliness..." He was a troubled man, Darben. Very troubled. What was he to do, what could help him? Yet part of him knew already, the one that could help him was right by his side. And had helped him in the past with Renla.

Darben was seeing no other. He needed the help...so sitting back down, he sighed again. What was he getting himself into? "All right, all right...how does this work? It won't hurt, will it?" Funny, once more she was taking the lead. Just like when they danced. He glanced down at his hands, having barely realized [member="Stardust Raxis"] was squeezing them. She really wanted to help...and he smiled for once. He rarely smiled except towards Lady Kay, or Renla. In a situation like this he did not expect to smile at all. To have such a great friend by his side... "What will it be like? Being inside the mind?"

 

[Stardust Solus Skirae]

She chuckles and shook her head at his words as she looked up

I put all mine behind my work, being a queen so I don't remember all I've done

She looked away, it was true she put everything aside and ignored it and focused on her work so she didn't have to deal with it. But with recent events she couldn't anymore

This was crazy she had never done this...not with any other person. She looked to him as she nodded and spoke

I'm gonna focus the force around us...think like deep.meditation....and no it won't hurt at all I promise

She realized...She had the lead, she chuckled to herself and looked away then up seeing his smile as she sat there stunned. His smile was just....amazing. She squeezed his hands and took a breath trying to calm herself

I'm not sure...all I know is that you'll see things that I keep hidden...I trust you enough to show what is in my mind

She took a breath again

ready?

 

[Darben Skirae]

"I wish I could do the same" he murmured quietly in response to [member="Stardust Raxis"]. His work only ever tired him more than helped him. Yes it did distract, but when he grew tired, he slept. And when he slept out of exhaustion, he saw things.

Darben gulped. She trusted him? With such secrets, such dark memories? He trusted her, to be sure but not enough to see his darkest memories, he trusted no one with that. But, sometimes one had to extend that trust...this was one of those moments. She said it would not hurt, but he knew it would. Not mentally, not physically. But his emotions would be tested. This would be the one point of no return. She squeezed his hands again. Was she as tense about this as he was? Just thinking that made him even more unsure.

"I...Yes...are you?" he asked, wanting to be sure. If she was not prepared herself, yet Darben was sure that Stardust was prepared. "You don't have to do this. I know Renla asked you to, but you don't have to...I'll get along fine" he said, trying to put on a calm reassuring face.

 

[Stardust Solus Skirae]

[member="Darben Skirae"]

heh...I wouldn't wish it on anyone

She looked at him, this was gonna be crazy certainly a test even for her could she fully go through with it? Could it be done oh so easily? No it wouldn't t hats why it was a test for them

no! No....I need to do this to help you....I promised her I would and I'm not gonna give it up at all...here we go

She focused on the force drawing it around them, she them focused on using the force to look into his mind while at the same time opening hers to him. A bead of sweat formed then fell as she focused and them suddenly it all hit her different memories and tragedies all at once his father dying before him the planet being destroyed, him meeting renla the pirates

She kept her eyes closed as tears formed seeing the rest, she hoped by the force what he saw in here was....less painful

 

[Darben Skirae]

Darben Skirae frowned at her, she seemed fairly adamant at getting this done. Before he could argue again against it, he could feel something in his mind. And then his vision changed, and he could see...joy. The joy of seeing someone once more. It looked like...well, he didn't really recognize them but he felt it was someone special to [member="Stardust Raxis"]. The vision changed, there was pain and sorrow felt as he watched a planet under attack. The Incursion...the vision changed and he saw...nothing. Felt nothing. It was a dark, scary place. Then there was pain, absolute pain as Stardust seemed to awaken in the vision. Had she died? And come back to life? Darben did not like the thought of that. The last vision came, and with it...heartbreak. He saw the same man as before. Who was that? He knew he had seen him somewhere, and quite recently...

Then that was it. He pulled away as the visions finished. And his face felt...wet? Had he been crying? He felt exhausted as well. Darben had to hold himself up on the bed as he looked to Stardust, seeing tears as well. And he felt worried, worried that what she had seen had caused this. "Star, that was..." He had no words. Quite a lot had happened to her. They both had painful memories.

 

[Stardust Solus Skirae]

[member="Darben Skirae"]
She blinked her tears still streaming as she took a deep shaky breath and opened her eyes fully looking into his. This man remained strong for so long....despite all that happened.

darben...i...i...I've seen so much in my life and yet...I don't think I'd ever wish what I saw on anyone and yet you've endured it

She wiped her eyes, she looked down and finally she said feth it. She moved forward quickly and captured his lips putting her hands around him to pull him close. This man survived hell....they both survived hell in its own definition. She pulled back and wiped her eyes a finally time

I understand now

 

[Darben Skirae]

Darben Skirae wanted to wipe away those tears. For some reason, he wanted to. Seeing a friend so sad, it made his heart ache. He was about to same something along the same lines as what she said...but instead he got quite the surprise instead. Suddenly he was pulled close, his eyes widened out of surprise. And they...kissed? What an almighty surprise and normally if something like this happened, he would pull away.

Yet he didn't. Darben just sat there, still as ever. And when she pulled back, he remained still. Unsure of how he was meant to react to [member="Stardust Raxis"]'s action to him. What was he supposed to do? He tried to say something, but only short noises came from his mouth. He was most confused by this. But not angry. Or sad. Not anymore. It was more...of a comforting feeling. A warm feeling in his chest. Finally, he mustered words to say..."Well...that was, uh...okay then..." He felt his hands starting to shake and his face warmed up. He wasn't going to question what it was about.

 

[Stardust Solus Skirae]

[member="Darben Skirae"]

She pulled away and blushed as she took a breath out then sighed. Some reason she needed that she didn't know why she just did. She looked up to him and then spoke

you don't need medicine or talking or anything like that...you need someone who understands and...darben I understand what loss...what pain you have felt

 

[Darben Skirae]

The words from [member="Stardust Raxis"] were somewhat touching...yet still he could not understand why. Why had she just done that? He turned away. looking down at his shaking hands. "I uh..." He still had no response in mind. He knew Stardust as a friend, but with this sudden warm feeling, it led to confusion. It had been a long while since he had last felt like this. But finally, something came to mind, and he did something he did not expect he would do...

He put his hand on hers, turning back to face her. "Thank you, Stardust...no one's helped me this much, and I...I have no words...Even though that last bit was unexpected" he murmured at the end. He continued to stare...And that was all he did. He was unsure as to what else he was meant to do. "So, uh...what now? Is that...is that it?"

 

[Stardust Solus Skirae]

[member="Darben Skirae"]

She looked away....she was stupid to do that! What did she think she could accomplish, she sighed. She hoped maybe it helped even a little but she had no clue it was a gamble just a gamble....She glanced back up to him trying to read him just by looking at him

Then she felt his hands, she looked to him as her hands moved and took his gently

it takes a certain type of person to help with these wounds....I've had many people heal the cracks that simply just form again and again...last bit was a gamble...

She smiled and looked up to him, she took a breath and then out deeply as she thought for a moment before speaking

if I may request I want to stay for a bit...these wounds require...attention and besides I need to see about renlas voice box...

She wanted to stay and make sure he'd be ok...not toention make sure he didn't drink at all....that especially