Private Like sands through the hourglass (solo)

[Caltin Vanagor]

(OOC NOTE- Still in recovery, but the creative side of my brain is going nuts, so... I wish I could do more, but my phone isn't that big,)

As Jedi Master Caltin Vanagor watched his son, Jedi Knight Connel Vanagor, lying in the medical bay, his heart ached with worry and guilt. Connel had been gravely injured during a mission, and the road to recovery was long and uncertain.

For weeks, Connel lay unconscious, his body battered and broken. The healers worked tirelessly to mend his wounds, but it was clear that the physical injuries were not the only thing weighing heavily on his son. Connel's spirit seemed shattered, his confidence and nerve shattered along with his body.

As days turned into weeks, Caltin watched as his son struggled to find his footing once again. Connel had always been a strong and capable Jedi, but now he seemed lost and unsure of himself. The once fearless warrior now hesitated at every turn, his once steady hand now shaking with doubt.

Caltin knew that his son was fighting a battle within himself, a battle that no amount of physical healing could mend. Connel had always lived in the shadow of his father, a legendary Jedi Master known for his bravery and skill. But now, faced with his own mortality, Connel seemed to question everything he had ever known.

But Caltin also saw something else in his son, something that gave him hope. Despite his doubts and fears, Connel still possessed a fierce determination, a will to overcome the darkness that threatened to consume him. Slowly but surely, Connel began to take small steps forward, pushing himself to face his fears and doubts head-on.

And as he watched his son slowly begin to emerge from the darkness, Caltin felt a swell of pride and admiration. Connel may have lost his confidence and nerve, but he had not lost his will to fight. And as he watched his son take his first tentative steps back into the light, Caltin knew that Connel would one day surpass even his own accomplishments.

For in the end, it was not the strength of his body or the skill of his sword that defined a Jedi, but the strength of his spirit and the courage of his heart. And in that moment, Caltin knew that his son had all the makings of a true Jedi Knight, one who would forge his own path and leave a legacy all his own. He still has a ways to go, but this train is on a solid track.


- To be continued

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Jedi Knight Connel Vanagor had always been a skilled and dedicated warrior, trained by his father, Jedi Master Caltin Vanagor, from a young age. But after a devastating battle that left him with severe injuries, Connel found himself struggling to recover both physically and mentally.

The cybernetic implants that had been necessary to save his life were a constant reminder of his weakness, and Connel found himself lacking the nerve and confidence that had once defined him as a Jedi Knight. Every time he looked in the mirror, he saw a shadow of his former self, and it weighed heavily on his spirit.

But perhaps the greatest obstacle Connel faced was not his own doubts, but the pressure he felt from his father. Jedi Master Caltin Vanagor was a formidable warrior in his own right, and he had high expectations for his son. He worried constantly about Connel's well-being, and his concern only served to increase the weight of guilt and responsibility that Connel felt.

Connel knew that his father's worry was born out of love, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was letting him down. He longed to ease his father's mind, to show him that he was still capable of being the Jedi Knight he had raised him to be. But the more he tried to push himself, the more he found himself struggling to keep up.

Despite the difficulties he faced, Connel refused to give up. He threw himself into his training, pushing himself to the limits of his endurance. He sought out the guidance of his fellow Jedi, drawing strength from their support and encouragement. And slowly, but surely, he began to see progress.

As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, Connel's confidence began to grow. He learned to embrace his cybernetic implants as a part of himself, rather than a symbol of his weakness. And he discovered that his lack of nerve was not a flaw, but a challenge to be overcome.

And through it all, Connel never lost sight of his ultimate goal - to ease his father's worrying and show him that he was still the Jedi Knight he had raised him to be. And as he stood before Jedi Master Caltin Vanagor, his eyes filled with pride and admiration, Connel knew that he had succeeded.

For in the end, it was not the cybernetic implants or the lack of nerve that defined him, but his unwavering determination and his unbreakable spirit. And as he looked into his father's eyes, Connel knew that he had proven himself not just as a Jedi Knight, but as a son worthy of his father's love and pride.

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

Jedi Master Caltin Vanagor watched with a heavy heart as his son, Jedi Knight Connel Vanagor, struggled to regain his confidence and sense of self after a traumatic mission that left him physically and emotionally scarred. Connel had always been a strong and capable Jedi, but the events of that mission had shaken him to his core.

Caltin knew that Connel needed time and space to heal, but he also knew that his son was a fighter at heart and would not rest until he had overcome his fears and doubts. And so, Caltin decided to take matters into his own hands and help Connel in any way he could.

As he watched Connel practice his lightsaber skills in the training room, Caltin noticed something troubling - his son's hesitation and fear when it came to wielding the weapon that was the very symbol of the Jedi Order. Connel's movements were slow and uncertain, his strikes lacking the precision and confidence that had once defined him as a Jedi Knight.

Caltin knew that Connel's fear of the lightsaber was holding him back, preventing him from fully embracing his role as a Jedi and reclaiming his sense of self. And so, he made a decision - it was time to call in a favor.

He reached out to an old friend, a renowned lightsaber instructor who had trained him in several forms so long ago. Maybe it was the thought of learning from his father that was holding the young Jedi Knight back? Together, they devised a plan to help Connel overcome his fear and regain his confidence in wielding the weapon that was both his greatest strength and his greatest challenge.

For weeks, Caltin and the lightsaber instructor droid worked tirelessly with Connel, pushing him to confront his fears and doubts head-on. They challenged him to face his inner demons and find the courage and determination to overcome them.

And slowly but surely, Connel began to make progress. His movements became more fluid and precise, his strikes more powerful and confident. With each passing day, he grew stronger and more sure of himself, until finally, he was ready to face his greatest challenge yet - a duel with his father, Jedi Master Caltin Vanagor.

As they stood facing each other in the training room, lightsabers ignited and ready for battle, Caltin could see the determination and resolve in Connel's eyes. He knew that his son had finally found the strength and courage to confront his fears and embrace his destiny as a Jedi Knight.

And as they clashed blades, father and son locked in a fierce and intense duel, Caltin knew that Connel had finally overcome his biggest obstacle - his fear of the lightsaber. And in that moment, he knew that his son was truly ready to resume his duties as a Jedi, not just for the Order, but for himself.

For Connel was slowly finding his sense of self once more, and he was on the way to getting stronger and more determined than ever before. And as they continued to spar and train together, father and son, master and apprentice, Caltin knew that their bond was stronger than ever, forged in the fires of adversity and tempered by the light of the Force. And together, they would face whatever challenges lay ahead, united in their purpose and their commitment to the Jedi way. Though there was still the one issue. He could hide it, but Connel was still afraid of that lightsaber .

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

As he watched his son train, and slowly try to regain what he lost from his defeat at the hands of Darth Kizash , Caltin was reminded of something that his colleague Master Valery Noble recently reminded him of.

Attachments.

She didn't speak of them directly, more of Caltin's mindset regarding what happened to Connel. She was right of course and he knew it(it was a good reminder) but it reminded him of his time as a Padawan and Jedi Knight. This is where the Jedi Code was penultimate and attachments often wrought expulsion from the Order.

It was life, but was it right? There is some validity to this as right now he wanted to do everything to get his son better and as close to “back to normal” as he could. The problem is, would it help Connel, as a Jedi, for him to do so? No matter what decision he made, it could be wrong.

So what. Connel was his son first. Yes, he is Jedi and more than capable of walking his own path, but everyone needs help once in awhile. For Caltin, that is what sets this day and age apart from his, attachments are like emotions, you're going to have them but do not let them define you.

That was the rub. Connel was responding better to working with N8-R5 so why not bring in more? He has to get going on his own terms and he could not do it with “father” breathing down his neck. He was not the only one who had duties to get to, Caltin had the Enclave on Jakku to return to, Lossa Aureus was finally Knighted but could still use some advice, not to mention the others.

There was news of an attack on Coruscant too… there was the imminent threat but it was said to be happening…

… And Darth Kizash was still out there...

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Have you ever lost something? Sure, everyone has, your keys, a bet, a game, it happens. Have you ever lost a fight? Some may have, some not. Have you ever lost your sense of self? Your nerve? Your very being? That is what Connel Vanagor is going through right now.


He lost a battle, that was to be expected sooner or later, but this duel with @Lord Kizash… it was… destructive. He wasn't just soundly defeated, he was dismantled, broken, deconstructed. His physical wounds healed, the mental, and emotional wounds are still dominant though.


Connel was not some cowering simp, mind you, he was acclimating to his prosthetics and regaining his physical strength and flexibility. The problem is in the practice circle, once a lightsaber went into his hands, the images flooded his mind. No matter what he did, or tried to do, nothing was successful. Connel was afraid of the lightsaber.


Not “afraid” as in the mere sight of one sends chills down his spine, nothing like that. When he picks one up though, Connel blacks out, he freezes. The images of what was done to him come rushing in. No matter what he did, he was outmatched, humiliated. No matter what Connel tried, he could not overcome them. Everything else? He was coming along fine, but the young Jedi Knight could not even pick up a saber.


That made him feel quite the failure, especially considering all that father had taught him. That made Connel feel all the worse, but he could not let that stop him. He would not let that stop him, it was his mother’s stubborn nature…


… but what could he do?


Guns? No way.


Getting over his fear? He could continue to try, but he needed to get back out in the field.


That is when Connel thought about the stories of “Temple Guard” and the old “Jedai”...


It was time to get to work.