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Character
This is the strangest LOA I've ever taken, and it's going to be more personal than some might be comfortable with.
As some of you know, I have suffered from manic depression since the age of 12. It has made life an unbearably bleak chore, and I honestly worried if I would have the will to truly make a life for myself once I reached adulthood. I have been miserable for the past three years of my adult life due to a total lack of ambition courtesy of my affliction.
During that time, Chaos has been my outlet. I joined Chaos when my family was stationed in Hawaii - it was the only constant in my life as we were uprooted multiple times until we finally landed in Alabama. It served as a lifeline for me when I needed an escape from the drudgery, and I've met some amazing and hopefully lifelong friends that I have had the opportunity to meet with in real life because of it.
The reason I have a reputation for often disappearing is because of that depression. When it takes hold of me, I lose the urge to do anything I enjoy. It is a feeling of total numbness and a loss of emotion, and often left me in a state of solely going to work, coming home, getting intoxicated, and sleeping.
I say all this not to get attention or anything of the sort, but to openly say how much I appreciate the Chaos community and the staff that run it, regardless of salt or drama or whatever superfluous problems might be cropping up at any given time. This place is an outlet for so many people that have little to nothing in their real lives and that is an amazing thing.
I finally kicked my depression. I have been undergoing intense experimental therapy to rework the way my brain naturally thinks, and I can finally say that I have solid results.
For the past three days, it's felt like I'm living a different life. Music sounds amazing, colors are brighter, food tastes better, I actually really enjoy talking to strangers and being social. I hadn't realized how extensive my depression was as I had been living under it for so long.
Because of this, my activity has been kind of spotty. I suddenly feel no desire to escape reality any longer - the world is interesting and wonderful again. I have no doubt I will be coming back to Chaos in the near future, but right now my time is being taken up with simply experiencing life like a normal person for the first time in a decade. I went outside and played a guitar for three hours today instead of playing video games and getting stoned: it's absolutely amazing.
I will be more than happy to continue all the threads I am currently writing once this LOA ends, and so far as my character is concerned Cedric will be medically incapacitated from Gree until I return.
I wish you all the best, and I love you all. If you're struggling with depression and normal procedures like therapy and medication do not work for you like they didn't for me, feel free to PM me so we can exchange discords. I can tell you about the process I went through after that, and would be willing to help you work through it as best I can.
Writing partners effected: [member="Cenric Marus"], [member="Vilka Pharro"], [member="Ayessa Kroan"], [member="Romi Jade"], [member="Wyatt Morga"], [member="Seo Linn"]
As some of you know, I have suffered from manic depression since the age of 12. It has made life an unbearably bleak chore, and I honestly worried if I would have the will to truly make a life for myself once I reached adulthood. I have been miserable for the past three years of my adult life due to a total lack of ambition courtesy of my affliction.
During that time, Chaos has been my outlet. I joined Chaos when my family was stationed in Hawaii - it was the only constant in my life as we were uprooted multiple times until we finally landed in Alabama. It served as a lifeline for me when I needed an escape from the drudgery, and I've met some amazing and hopefully lifelong friends that I have had the opportunity to meet with in real life because of it.
The reason I have a reputation for often disappearing is because of that depression. When it takes hold of me, I lose the urge to do anything I enjoy. It is a feeling of total numbness and a loss of emotion, and often left me in a state of solely going to work, coming home, getting intoxicated, and sleeping.
I say all this not to get attention or anything of the sort, but to openly say how much I appreciate the Chaos community and the staff that run it, regardless of salt or drama or whatever superfluous problems might be cropping up at any given time. This place is an outlet for so many people that have little to nothing in their real lives and that is an amazing thing.
I finally kicked my depression. I have been undergoing intense experimental therapy to rework the way my brain naturally thinks, and I can finally say that I have solid results.
For the past three days, it's felt like I'm living a different life. Music sounds amazing, colors are brighter, food tastes better, I actually really enjoy talking to strangers and being social. I hadn't realized how extensive my depression was as I had been living under it for so long.
Because of this, my activity has been kind of spotty. I suddenly feel no desire to escape reality any longer - the world is interesting and wonderful again. I have no doubt I will be coming back to Chaos in the near future, but right now my time is being taken up with simply experiencing life like a normal person for the first time in a decade. I went outside and played a guitar for three hours today instead of playing video games and getting stoned: it's absolutely amazing.
I will be more than happy to continue all the threads I am currently writing once this LOA ends, and so far as my character is concerned Cedric will be medically incapacitated from Gree until I return.
I wish you all the best, and I love you all. If you're struggling with depression and normal procedures like therapy and medication do not work for you like they didn't for me, feel free to PM me so we can exchange discords. I can tell you about the process I went through after that, and would be willing to help you work through it as best I can.
Writing partners effected: [member="Cenric Marus"], [member="Vilka Pharro"], [member="Ayessa Kroan"], [member="Romi Jade"], [member="Wyatt Morga"], [member="Seo Linn"]
