First Reply Losing Silence

[Silas Westgard]

Location: The Prosperity
Objective: Think things over
Tags: Open
"Post theme: Sleep Token - Atlantic"

A pair of cold blue eyes glared down at the surrendering Sith below, one that had been bested in combat by the padawan named Silas Westgard. With a boot planted on his chest, Silas kept the lightsaber just inches from his face as a crowd of relieved villagers came out of their small homes to cheer for the Jedi's reprieve. The man was beaten, his once arrogant Sith mentality broken in two by the more determined padawan who kept to the Jedi morals like none other. A temptation to simply strike down the Sith scum was palpable, yet his master Kahlil Noble had taught him otherwise. When they were beaten, the Jedi were not going to be made executioners of the defeated, but a guiding light to lead them out of the heartache they felt.

Silas smiled back to the villagers warmly, making sure everyone one of them was unhurt by the destruction the Sith had left. Except, as he looked down the long line of innocents time itself seemed to slow down. The once cheerful people before him soon began to fall silent, and their once bright surroundings became darker like a freak solar eclipse. Their faces became horrified and dirty as many who were standing were soon lowered to their knees by faceless cloaked figures. Following the change, Silas and his once calming smile turned into a cold and sadistic smirk. That only matched the skies which were black with smoke, created by the burning bodies and huts of the villagers that fuelled a fire beyond their understanding.

This was only the start, the slaughter that he so desperately craved was yet to come. Silas's right hand clutched the lightsaber with an iron grip, a weapon that was now the polar opposite of his peacekeeping blue. Bright red ignited in its place and pointed down to the shaking body of a bloodied Jedi who struggled to stay alive. The boy showed no regret for what he had become, nor the hurt he had created this day. Slaughter for the false power was the only thing that drive him now, no friendship or love could ever fix his black heart. Slowly, the hand clutching his blade raised upwards to the shock of the wide eyed Jedi.

Disdained yellow eyes met him with pure hatred and before he knew what was coming the lightsaber plunged straight through his chest. Loud screams erupted as cloaked figures followed his slaughter blindly, their cries only growing louder until...

Silas snapped upwards from his sleep and panted heavily, a layer of sweat dripping from his form as he frantically looked at his surroundings. He was back in the small resting room of the prosperity again, far gone from the burning village he had been dreaming about. The padawan sighed slightly and crawled over to a mirror where he put a hand on his face and saw that his eyes were once again normal. It all felt real, too real.

From the corner of the room, the crystal container he received from Master Kahlil continued to make the same screams from the nightmare. It was the crystal again... Kahlil mentioned it had the tendency to try and pull further towards the opposite end of the bridge through any means possible. Even in its safe place, the broken crystal was seemingly driving him more and more crazy.

"SHUT UPPPPP!" The boy shouted at the top of his lungs with a snap of his head and a snarl. Silas stared at it with a growl for a few short moments as his demeanor became normal again, a large frown showing the shame of how worked up he became. Struggling to hold in his emotion anymore, he threw on some clothes and rushed out of his room towards a small balcony at the end of the corridor. He leaned up against it and gasped out from how lost he felt. Was it truly his path to become a Sith like his ancestors before him? or was the crystal pulling him into a false sense of security?

The Nobles, Iris, and anyone he could trust had to know at some point. Silas just wasn't strong enough to spit it out, and with that for the first time in his young life, he was truly frightened of what was to come.

"First reply or DM me if you're thinking of joining. Jedi preferably, but if no one joins in a week I'll just leave it as a solo thread"​

 

[Starlin Rand]

It’s a bad idea to smoke aboard a space station, where the air is recycled. Starlin was craving a cig badly enough that his fingers were twitching, but so far he had kept the urge under control.

He couldn’t sleep. Ever since his Padawan Lief had slipped into a coma, he hadn’t been able to rest for longer than a few hours at a time. He was waiting for a change, for better or for worse.

Going for a walk through the halls of Prosperity seemed like a good idea. He was hoping it would clear his head. At the very least, it would give him something to do other than sit and think too much.

Making his way down the corridor, he moved past the boy at first, his mind on other things, until certain aspects of the kid’s appearance registered. For one, he had met Padawan Silas Westgard once before on Tython during a field mission. Starlin had asked him which he preferred, pudding or jello, to break the ice. (Was his answer jello? Starlin couldn't remember...) Secondly, the kid was drenched in sweat and breathing hard, as if he had just run a marathon. In the middle of the station’s designated “night”? What was up with that?

Starlin backed up until he was standing in front of Silas, then paused. “Uh… you okay, man?” he asked, peering at him.

Silas Westgard​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Silas silently stared into the far distance, expressionless and untelling as he was locked away in his troubled mind. It had slowly gotten worse over time, the sleepless nights and overthinking. Not that it disrupted his training as a Jedi, but the slow breakdown of his mentality going into things was surely going to be a problem.

The padawan was in the midst of wiping his tired eyes when a voice asked him if he was alright. Silas didn't even react at first, almost as if he considered ignoring at first only to change his mind. Hesitantly, he turned back to look at the familiar Jedi, a flash of a frown across his lips before his tired expression returned. Knight Starlin and himself had once taken part in a mission together, most notably against a pair of raiders who seemed to like the taste of human flesh. From the little they had worked together, Starlin had proven to be a good man.

"Hm? yea, I just had a nightmare that's all." the boy lied, doing his best to reply in the most natural way possible. It probably didn't help that there was still a layer of sweat across his face and dark circles under his eyes to indicate a lack of sleep this week.

"I should be... fine." Silas said unconvincingly this time before leaning up against the balcony barrier and folding his arms. He wasn't looking directly at him either, just shooting a long stare at anything on the floor that distracted him from the situation at hand.

Starlin Rand​

 

[Starlin Rand]

“Must’ve been one hell of a bad dream to make you leave your room and hang out here.” Starlin also leaned on the balcony barrier, looking down at the floor below. His attention was on Silas, however.

It wasn’t like the kid was his responsibility. Silas had a master of his own (Master Noble, if he recalled currently—er, Noble the Husband, not Noble the Wife) whose job it was to guide and look out for him. But Starlin was feeling more and more protective of the younger Jedi in general these days. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because his own apprentice was in a coma, and his longtime mentor had recently been killed in battle. He felt completely unmoored, severed from both the past and the future, with no guidance coming from either direction.

Attaching that severed link to someone else helped, even if it was just this one time. Besides, he had a feeling Silas wasn’t telling the whole truth, and if there was anything Starlin was utterly devoted to, it was the pursuit of truth.

“You mind if I ask what the nightmare was about?” Starlin asked. “Might be able to figure out what it means. Er, not that I’m some dream interpreter or anything, but—usually when I have a really nasty nightmare, it's because something’s bothering me in real life.”

Silas Westgard​

 

[Silas Westgard]

"Yea... it was" he muttered back to him in a lowered tone, his attention on the horizon instead of the Knight beside him. Silas didn't want to be rude and push him away, after all, he was looking out for him. That in itself was in short supply nowadays "I've already had similar dreams to it in the last few weeks. It's normal I guess, considering I had it a lot when my parents died..." he said with a slight frown, his hands tightly gripping the top of the balcony in response.

When Starlin pressed further to know what dream he had, the boy finally gazed at him with an untelling expression and uncomfortably leaned his body against the hard balcony barrier. He was hesitant at first, something that showed he was unsure if he wanted to tell a fellow Jedi the truth. What would he think? would Starlin think he was going crazy or straying away from his true path? for the short time they've interacted Silas trusted the man, so he had some kind of calm in his presence.

"The dream was the representation of me being the opposite of who I am. One minute, I was the hero in the tale, and next, I was the..." he said before slowly coming to a stop. Silas looked at the knight with uncertainty before quickly shaking his head, doubt filling his mind "I'm sorry, It- it was nothing to be concerned about sir" the boy lied before looking to the floor and sighing.

"I'll just be wasting your time with what came before me, again I'm sorry..." Silas said in a lowered tone, trying to slowly move past the knight and tiredly sulk to the doorway.

Starlin Rand​

 

[Starlin Rand]

"The dream was the representation of me being the opposite of who I am. One minute, I was the hero in the tale, and next, I was the..."

"... The villain of the story?" Starlin finished for him.

Silas was starting to walk away, but Starlin kept talking. "Probably every Jedi has had at least one vision of themselves going Dark, so if you're thinking it makes you weird or that there's something wrong with you, uh... don't think that way." He smiled a little, then turned serious. "If you're afraid it actually means something, I'd say talk to your master about it. Or you can always come and see me instead."

Something about Silas' nervous behavior made him think that talking to his master was out of the question. Starlin didn't know Kahlil that well (in fact, he couldn't recall ever having met the guy) so he didn't know what he was like, but he did know that Kahlil was a Zambrano with a history of dipping into the Dark Side. Sometimes those types had the tendency to treat any sign of Darkness in others as if it were a death sentence. Maybe the boy was afraid of how he would react.

"You're not wasting my time. These days I have nothing but time on my hands. If anything, you'd help me pass the time." He paused for a moment, making sure he'd said all that right, then nodded in satisfaction.

Silas Westgard​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Silas slowly came to a halt in the doorway and looked back when Starlin finished his sentence off perfectly. He was the villain, and something he wished to never be in his lifetime. frowning slightly as he tried to calm him down about his dreams, Silas knew his situation was quite different compared to most. The fact that almost all of his ancestors for many generations had willingly chosen to be a Sith worried him to the core. Whether he liked it or not he had ancient Sith blood in his veins.

"I'm afraid there's more to it than that sir, I-I... found out something I wish I never knew," he said with great hesitance. He didn't want to say anything, in fact, the words simply slipped out of his mouth. Sighing and lowering his head, Silas knew he was beyond the point of no return. The padawan took a few steps back and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down until he was in a sitting position. He raised his knees and glared at the knight with uncertainty

"I fear if I say what I know I'll be cast away within a blink of an eye. My master probably wouldn't even want to know me anymore, nor the friends I have already made along the way. They'd just look at me like a monster..."

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

Wait, Starlin was a "sir" now? How old did he look? Was the lack of sleep prematurely aging him?

“Oh boy,” Starlin murmured in concern as he watched Silas hunker down on the floor. “Sounds like you’ve got a complicated situation on your hands.”

He was tempted to tell Silas he was hardly the first young Jedi to face a staggering revelation, but he sensed that wasn’t what the kid needed to hear. But as long as he was unwilling to talk about it, Starlin didn’t really know how to help him.

“Well, if you can’t say what it is, I could try and guess.” Starlin sat down beside Silas, stretching out his long legs in front of him. “You found out something you wish you never knew… hm… did you stumble upon a prophecy foretelling dire events in the future? Or, uh… did one of your ancestors or relatives turn out to be a Sith? Or a Dark Sider. Or just, y’know—an immoral person who did bad things?”

Silas Westgard​

 

[Silas Westgard]

"You could say that..." he mumbled, his expression solemn and cautious as to what Starlin was thinking of him. He had yet to tell anyone of this horrid truth, and now it was really starting to affect him. Lack of sleep, concentration and attitude were some of the few that made him not himself. Silas just wanted it to stop, but at the same time if he told anyone he feared being expelled from the order and his Master casting him away like nothing.

Silas looked to Starlin as he sat next to him and began to guess what he was thinking, and surprisingly one of them was spot on. The teen frowned and slowly put his head in his hands, releasing a loud muffled sigh in the process. If he looked close enough his hands were shaking slightly from how much pressure he felt, almost as if the weight he carried was starting to get too much. Slowly, he removed his hands and looked to the floor with no emotion, mentally trying to force out the words that would give him some sort of reprieve.

"M-my... my... an-" he said before stopping, his head turning to look at Starlin with a frown that suggested he was willing to accept his fate if needs be.

"On Teta, I found out a truth I didn't want to hear, something that I wished stayed hidden away from me. Yet, now I have to live with who I am and what I might become..." he said in a lowered tone, before his hands seemed to tightly grip his own clothing.

"My ancestors before me were all monsters, tainted with hatred and greed. They were all sith's, and I fear to follow the same path as they all did..." The boy said, expecting the worst from Starlin's reaction. In ways, some relief lifted off his shoulders when he finally let the truth slip from his mouth. It was just the aftermath that worried him to the core.

"I sense their anger inside of my soul, A feeling that never goes away. I'm scared it's only a matter of time before I snap..."

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

Hey, he’d guessed right! Well, on his second try, anyway.

Silas nearly choked on the words, his horror and embarrassment in his heritage apparent. As the Padawan revealed his fear that he would become just like his ancestors, Starlin was quick to shake his head.

“No, man. Don’t think like that. Just because you’re related to them doesn’t mean you’re gonna turn out just like them. You’re your own person. You get to make your own decisions.”

But what Silas was referring to wasn’t some vague family curse, it was an inherited trait. It sounded like a predilection towards rage had been passed down from parent to child. Silas probably assumed it was the main reason why so many of them had become Sith. While he may have blamed his parentage in order to cope, the boy was struggling with something internal rather than external. He couldn’t deny that he was part of that clan of men and women whose souls were governed primarily by wrath.

“Are you saying you’re always angry?” Starlin asked. “Because if that’s the case, I’d say you’re pretty good at controlling it. Unless you're just good at hiding it."

He sighed. “I’m gonna give you a little advice, Silas. You know what the Jedi Code says about serenity, and how we’re taught to never allow ourselves to get angry? Well, sometimes anger is useful. Righteous anger drives people to stop injustices. So don’t think that getting mad in general is something you have to avoid at all costs. We live in an imperfect universe; we're all gonna get pissed off about something every once in a while.

“It’s just that you can’t allow it to control you. If you can master your fury, it will be a strength rather than a weakness.”

Silas Westgard​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Silas seemed to wrap himself around his legs more tightly to the point where his knees were pressed against his chest. He was terribly anxiously as to what Starlin was going to say next, but that soon went away when the knight showed comfort to him. Silas was his own person, and nowhere near dreadful compared to his ancestors. The main people who made sure of that were his father and mother, who were more loving and compassionate than anyone else in the galaxy. Sure, they were strict, but it was needed for him to understand manners.

They must have hidden the secret in fear he was going to get hurt from the truth. No wonder they never talked about extended family or visited, all along it was only them.

"I only started becoming angrier once I was saved by the alliance. A-all that time with the criminals must have woken something up because I never felt it while my parents were alive..." he commented, choosing to keep his eyes to the flaw as Starlin spoke again "Not always, but when get situations to get stressful something else starts to take over. I can control it most times, but I've almost boiled over and completely lost control." he replied back, unknowing if he was already starting to lose it.

Although, when Starlin explained when he could use the anger to his advantage if he learned to fully master its control it would come as a big use for him. He was totally correct, yet right now he had no idea where to start

"You're right sir, but where I begin to learn this is far beyond me..."

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin’s words seemed to ease Silas’ fears a little, though the boy remained anxious and fearful. He asked, more or less, how he could learn to master his anger.

“Hm…” Starlin gave the matter some thought. He hadn’t struggled with anger much in his youth—if anything, he didn’t take things seriously enough. So what could he offer to someone who suffered from a bad temper?

Then he had an epiphany. “How about pyrokinesis?”

He snapped his fingers, and a small flame, no larger than that produced by a lit match, appeared over the tip of his thumb.

“People associate fire with anger because it’s dangerous and difficult to control.” As he spread his hand, the flames crept across his palm, but didn’t burn his skin. “So if pyrokinesis is all about learning how to master something as chaotic as fire, maybe learning pyrokinesis can give you a clue as to how to master your anger.”

He closed his fist, and the fire vanished without a trace, save for a faint warmth lingering in the air.

“How about you try it?” Starlin prompted. “I mean, not here—don’t want to burn the place down. But either I mention it to your master, or you and I meet somewhere less flammable and I teach you how to do it.”

Silas Westgard​

 

[Silas Westgard]

"Pyrokinesis?" the boy asked curiously as he glared over at the small fire lit up in the fingertips of the knight. He knew about this power quite well, especially when he was with Valery Noble . The master was a known user of the power, and one of the very few that could properly withstand such a tempting strength. It was powerful and useful when it came to attacking, but in ways, it wouldn't help him control his anger. The whole thing went against the very means of his training with Kahlil Noble who taught Silas to be more defensive than aggressive.

"I'm sorry sir, but it would go against the training I've done so far with my master," he said truthfully back to him, his face looking down to the floor in thought "Please, do not tell my master. I will tell him when the time is right, I'm just not prepared with what consequences may follow yet," he asked. Silas didn't want anyone else to tell Kahlil other than himself.

"I know you're trying to help me, and I honestly appreciate it, I really do. But, you must let me do this on my own. I will never learn if I let other people do it for me..." he mumbled this time, his blue eyes finally meeting his again. Sooner or later Silas had to go out there and find out who he truly was, whether he did it on his own or not. There was more to all this he couldn't get his head around, and Silas was willing to do anything to find out the truth about his ancestors.

"Can I trust you not to tell anyone, please?"

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

"I'm sorry sir, but it would go against the training I've done so far with my master."

Starlin opened his mouth, then closed it. He was about to say well, that may be the problem, but stopped himself. It wasn’t his place to criticize how other Jedi trained their students. He didn’t even know what exactly Kahlil was teaching the boy, but if it was anything remotely like what Starlin had experienced back at the Academy, Silas’ education in the Force was probably pretty limited. Jedi were easily spooked when it came to esoteric knowledge, afraid that studying it would lead to the Dark Side.

It was pretty ridiculous in Starlin's opinion, especially since making certain knowledge forbidden only made it all the more tempting. But he also remembered how secretive he had to be about his more unorthodox training, and how it made him feel like a freak compared to his peers. Silas didn’t need that chit, not when he was already dealing with his dark heritage and unresolved anger.

“I won’t tell anybody anything,” Starlin replied, removing that option from the table immediately. “My lips are sealed, man. I promise. In the future, if you’re still struggling, I’ll be around to talk to you again. If you think you need the help.”

Silas Westgard​

 

[Silas Westgard]

"Thank you, sir..." he said with a brief smile looking back to the master. He'd tell them in due time, all he asked was not to be rushed. Silas was going to tell them soon anyway, it was only a matter of time. The pressure on his shoulders was starting to get too much for him, and in turn slowly crushing him in the process. Some of that weight had gone from telling Starlin, but he still had Valery Noble and Kahlil to tell.

Silas fell silent and slowly got to his feet, taking a few steps forward to the balcony to really process what he had just done "We will speak again, there's no doubt about it." he remarked, emotionless and at ease for the first time in a while "I'll probably need all the help I can get to go through this because I won't have the strength to this by my own" Silas admitted, the corner of his eye looking back to him with a frown.

"I know you're going through your own troubles with your padawan with Lief , if you need anything i'll be more than happy to provide my assistance. I'm sorry you have to go through that..."

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin stared at the floor as Silas brought up Eliphas. “Yeah,” he murmured. “I appreciate it, but there’s not a whole lot anybody can do as long as he’s still in a coma.”

Silas probably meant he would help the master, not the apprentice, but there was really no helping Starlin either. Everything seemed to hinge upon whether his Padawan woke up or not.

Still, he managed a small smile.

“You feel well enough to head back to bed now?”

Silas Westgard​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Silas frowned slightly from the mention of his padawan being in the coma. It must have been very hard for him right now, especially when you didn't know what direction it was going to swing. In a way, he was right. He couldn't do much for Dune, but he could at least do something for his master to help him cope.

Smiling back to the master, he walked beside him and put a hand on his shoulder "Thank you, sir. I think I should be fine for now..." he said with some pain in his eyes

"Keep in touch, when you're ready the both of us can do something together. Trust me, it will help keep your mind off things," he said reassuringly, a trait he seemed to be getting more from his teacher Valery Noble

Slowly, he took his hand off his shoulder and began walking back to his room. Whatever the answer, Starlin still needed something to help him too. It was the least Silas could do after what he had just done for him...

Starlin Rand​