Loss… And moving on. It's not as easy as it looks.

[Briika Munin]

Standing silently in the grove of silver-leafed Galek trees on the edge of the Tor clan homestead near Enerci in the foothills of the northern mountains of Mandalore, Briika said her daily remembrances for those that had passed on as she looked upon the mounds covered with yellow amber ferns. There were two especially that tore into the golden blonde's heart; the one for Valen Tor, her and [member="Kad Tor"]'s older brother killed by Death Watch some years back, and the other was Venku Detta, infant son of hers and [member="Kable Detta"]. There had been nothing anyone could do. The baby had just come too early and only survived a few hours. It had been heart wrenching as Bree had to endure the pain and loss by herself as her riduur had been away, and still was away to this day… Had he marched on too? No sign or word from him or his whereabouts after taking a job off planet. Would she have to add his name as well to the ever growing list as war and events had called so many Mando'ade away as of recent.

A small hand squeezed her larger one to bring Bree out of her musings. Blue eyes gazed down upon Mesh'la Detta. The seven year old girl was a mini-me of her mother. Kable and Briika had been truly blessed the day she had been conceived, and born. Venku had been more like his father with darker hair and eyes. Another reason why it hurt so bad.

"Buir'ika… It will be okay. Ba'buir Solus said so."

"I know… Thank you for reminding me, ner cyare ad'ika. Now go wash up and help Ba'buir Ka'ra set up for our midday meal. And, take these for the table... They will brighten it," Bree smiled back with a mother's warmth, then handed a small bouquet of vormur blooms to the younger Detta.

After Mesh'la left, Briika kneeled down and began tidying up the grave sites starting with Venku's; tears free-falling down her cheeks as she did so. Life goes on, but for some it didn't. The pain and hurt was almost too much to handle at times for the baau'ur. Consuming even the hardest of individuals. Why did people keep leaving her?

 

[Kad Tor]

Kad waited just outside the grave sight as Briika took her moments to cry. Some Mando'ade believed it was best to hold it all in and save it for battle, Kad disagreed. It was never about fuel for the fight. There was plenty of that with the pride of being a Mando. Briika simply needed to cry. Her tears were good, and they were needed. This was healthy, and she had to grieve. Kad couldn't imagine losing either of his sons. Yet, Briika had lost one, and her riduur it seemed. All the family had mourned.

A loving hand finally rested on her shoulder. Kad was not wearing his armor as he usually would be. Today the family was together as just the family. The Mando'ad had come at the request of his buire. They thought being together would be good for Briika, who now lives in Enceri once again.

"Cowards hold their tears. It takes a strong person to let them fall. You've always been strong Bree'ika. This time, just this once, let me be strong for you."

[member="Briika Detta"]

 

[Briika Munin]

Briika had been too distracted by her OCD of keeping the grave sites well-manicured that she had not heard her younger brother come up behind her. That wasn't good as the older Tor sibling had aways been able to pick up on [member="Kad Tor"]'s footfalls ever since they were little.

The golden blonde startled, then realized quickly who had touched her shoulder. Misty blue eyes looked up to meet his clear ones, then Bree pushed up to stand next to the tall Mando'ad, wiping her face with the back of her hands as she did and smoothing her hair afterwards as she faced him.

"Su cuy'gar, vod'ika… I have missed you, and your shoulders have always been quite strong," she offered with a soft smile just before wrapping the sandy blonde in a fierce hug.

"You are just in time for our meal… Or was your visit planned that way, hmm? Your stomach in the past has always dictated your timing. Did [member="Ralize Tor"] and your ade come with you? Mesh'la misses the boys."

 

[Kad Tor]

Kad just held his vod'ika for a moment. Words couldn't help her, and that was something Kad understood. When [member="Ralize Tor"] had lost her brothers and father, all that helped was just being there to hold her as the tears fell. Strong arms held the blonde as he answered the question she had made.

"You know me... Can't pass up uj cake!"

Of course he joked about it, the humor would help, and it was good to see Briika hadn't lost hers despite all the trouble. Bree could wonder about people leaving her, but there was one who never would. Kad would always be there when Briika needed him. Allit was one of the six tenets of the Reaol'nare, and Kad lived by it religiously.

"I left pretty quick when Solus told me I was needed. The boys are already in the house, and Ral'ika will hopefully be on her way shortly, unless a last minute emergency repair needs to be made. The verd have been active taking worlds again."

[member="Briika Detta"]

 

[Briika Munin]

Being held like this was just what Briika needed. She drank in [member="Kad Tor"]'s brotherly love deeply, letting it help to renew her strength to face the day after all her sorrows. Bree had yet to stay in bed and just pull the covers up over her head, but she had thought about doing just that many times. The love of family and her duty to serve the Mando'ade had kept the baar'ur going. Time would ease the pain of loss, but nothing would completely take it away, especially the loss of a child. It would be forever a part of her; a piece of her soul lost forever.

"Vor entye, Kad'ika… For taking this time out of your busy work, and life with your own aliit. I won't lie… Things have been hard for me with the anniversary coming up, but I'm doing better overall for the most part," Briika expressed, trying to convey she was indeed okay. Just in need of a little TLC it would seem.

"Well I hope [member="Ralize Tor"] can make it . Haven't seen her in ages. Come then… I can't wait to see how big the boys have gotten. And you, cyare vod'ika, are in luck, I made uj cake this morning. There are fresh camby berries and whip cream too, not to mention the shatual buir has been slow roasting," the golden blonde grinned, grabbing her brother's hand and leading him back towards the aliit yaim.

"Have you seen or heard from [member="Nolan Detta"] lately?"

 

[Kad Tor]

"You and me both, because those twins are a handful. I swear they take P is for Plenty to a whole new level," Kad smirked as he responded about whether [member="Ralize Tor"] would make it to Enceri or not.

Kad had other reasons as well. The twins took much of their time, and with his buire around, Kad was hoping to take advantage of the care they could give and buy a few hours with his Riduur alone. When Briika mentioned the anniversary Kad had only nodded. There was not much to say. Then the question turned to [member="Nolan Detta"]. Could she handle the rumors Kad had heard in regards to him? Breathing in deep, Kad let the breath out slowly with a sigh.

"Only rumors that won't help a heavy heart I'm afraid. He's alive as far as I know, but his Satine has been missing since what the Galaxy is beginning to call the rapture. The Galaxy is not a safe place, and here have brought or ade into it."

Playfully changing the subject, Kad hoisted his sister over his shoulder and carried toward the yaim. He laughed as he did so smelling the slow roasted meat before they even walked across the threshold. Kad grinned big time.

"Boys look who buir found outside!"

With loud running feet the twin Tor brothers ran to the door screaming for their aunt.

@Briika Tor

 

[Briika Munin]

"Our ade will be strong and have each other to lean on like we have always done. I have no doubt the next generation of Tors and Dettas will do well for our people, the Mando'ade."

That was the one thing Briika was confident about. She already saw how Mesh'la watched over her younger twin cousins, and they her. At least something was right in this messed up galaxy they lived in.

Suddenly, Bree's booted feet left the ground and her body was tossed over her brother's shoulder like a sack of grain. "Put me down, [member="Kad Tor"]. I'm your elder and say so. Oh you are so gonna get it later!" she exclaimed, playfully giving his rear end a swat from her upside down hanging position.

"Ba'vodu! Ba'vodu… We missed you!" the boys said excitedly, then each hugged Bree after she was finally set down in the karyi.

"Buir taught us how to use his wielder," Valen said, then Shaen added handing their older cousin a package with pride. "And we made you and Mesh'la a wind chime for your new yaim."

"Vor'e… We will be honored to hang it outside on our porch," Briika smiled, then looked to Solus who had just walked in from out back where the fire pit was. "Is the shatual ready to eat yet, buir?"

 

[Kad Tor]

"Hit me all you want, but that still isn't getting you down," he laughed until the twins ran to greet her.

He smiled at the gift they offered. It was truly how children could make one forget about all the problems in the galaxy. They were the future, and Kad knew his investment needed to be in them. Yes, they mourned for those who were gone, but they invested their energy in those still here. Kad loved his sons, he loved his wife, his family, they all came first despite the turmoil in the world.

"It's more than ready to eat. If I let it go any further it will fall off the bone before I get a chance to pull it apart."

Solus was a proud Mando'ad and loved his family being together. It had been hard when Valen was lost, for all of them, but especially Solus. No father ever wanted to bury their son. That was the tragedy of war. Father buried sons when it should be sons burying their fathers. One could always tell how Solus had felt about the loss of his son the way he looked at his grandson who had been named after the fallen verd. Solus wasn't one to play favorites, but he did have a soft place for his grandchildren, a place he never had for his own children. It was good to see the goran happy like this again.

"Oh come on buir, we both know you're going to wait for it to fall off the bone. The meat always melts in the mouth when you do."

[member="Briika Detta"]

 

[Briika Munin]

After the meal was well over and the ade put to bed, Briika went outside to relax from the days events on the steps of the aliit yaim where she watched the Mandalore sky come alive with stars on a moonless clear night. She was lost in thought, well not in thought as her mind was really blank, or numb to be more matter of fact, when the sound of booted foot falls brought the baar'ur out of her reverie. They were [member="Kad Tor"]'s from the sound of them and not her buir's.

"Come and join me, vod'ika… I think you have more to tell me, don't you?" Bree smiled knowingly with a sister's understanding. "What is really going on between you and [member="Ralize Tor"], hmm?" she inquired, then took a sip from a bottle of Circle Green ale.

 

[Kad Tor]

Dinner was over, the twins were well into their deep sleep, along with their favorite cousin, and Kad was facing another lonely sunset. He knew Briika had the ability to see right through him, and that his earlier answer wouldn't suffice. She was to intuitive when it came to her vod'ika, and that was without being force sensitive. The blonde Mando'ad was relaxed on the step peering out across the big sky of the northern province. Kad joined her, and immediately she asked about Ral. He could have the same about Kable, but she was still grieving what she thought to be a loss.

"Ships passing in the night it seems... literally. When she's not working she's training, when I'm not training I'm working. At least the twins are at the age where they can learn the trade. She's been gone for six months now, and I don't know where she is most of the time. I hate to even think the thoughts I'm having let alone say them out loud...."

That they were drifting apart because other things seemed more important than their riduurok. Kad still loved his Ral'ika, his spitfire, very much, but she was also gone. He sighed. The truth was it seemed they had a riduurok in name only. Kad wanted so much for there to be more, but there wasn't.

"What about Kable, really? Not this MIA bit... what does your gut say?"

[member="Briika Detta"]

 

[Briika Munin]

"I know, vod'ika… Believe me, I know how you feel. My mind is my worst enemy especially late at night when I'm alone with only my memories, wants, and desires."

Briika understood completely how her younger brother was feeling about his own riduur being absent. At least though he knew [member="Ralize Tor"] was alive…

After taking a long, slow sip of her ale, Bree answered [member="Kad Tor"] with regrettable honestly. "I think [member="Kable Detta"] got lost in the Neitherworld like so many of our vode. He left on an off-planet job. Finished it and supposedly was on his way home, but just vanished. [member="Nolan Detta"] doesn't even know where he is or if he's still alive. We've exhausted ourselves looking… I'm afraid I am going to have to accept the inevitable… My riduur has marched on," she said with tears converging to run down her cheeks as the blonde Mando'ad shared her grief and anguish over her husband's disappearance with the closest person to her; even her burie didn't know know how much Briika was truly hurting.

"I need closure. This not knowing one way or the other is killing me. What are you going to do, Kad'ika?"

 

[Kad Tor]

"Briika," Kad stated seriously, about to say something which may seem cold hearted, but hopefully be taken the way he meant it. "Perhaps you need to just decide whether he has marched on or not. If you need closure, then close the door. The truth may be something you don't want to know."

Kad knew there were times the truth hurt more than not knowing it. Yes, Kable had likely been taken by the netherworld, but closure was needed, and if he had been, Briika would never truly know anyway. If he had indeed been taken, she just needed to close the door on that chapter in her life and move on. Maybe that's what she was looking for in Enceri, but Enceri for both Tor siblings would always be where they came to bury their dead. Valen's grave was there, the young son Briika had lost, their buire would be buried there some day. Until that day came, Kad was not wanting to remain in Enceri long. He had made Keldabe his home, and perhaps Briika needed to return there as well.

"You and Mesh'la should come back Keldabe with me. We've always had they extra room, and force knows I need the company, even if it is ner vod'ika. It's time to move on with your life Briika. Kable has kept you waiting long enough. If he has marched on then you can know he did so as a verd. If he has not, then he's abandoned his allit, and should face the consequences."

Kad was never one to mince his words, even though they may have just sounded insensitive. He was very serious about her returning to Keldabe, however. They both needed each other in this phase of life as both riduuroke seemed to be coming to an end.

[member="Briika Detta"]

 

[Briika Munin]

What her vod'ika had said was the hard truth, and even harder to hear, but something Briika had to consider. She took another long, slow sip of the ale that her riduur had created with his brother. It was good, but soon the bottle would be empty and another would have to be gotten if Bree wanted more.

A golden head was laid upon [member="Kad Tor"]'s shoulder as a small hand came to rest in the crook of the goran's strong arm, then a heavy sigh followed.

"I think you are right, Kad'ika. We should go with you back to Keldabe. It will be good for all of us to be together as an extended aliit. You and I can co-parent our ade for now. And, should your riduur come home to stay, well I'll figure something out for Mesh'la and me. There is always the homestead in Braslin I have leased out… but not sure I want to return there to live."

 

[Kad Tor]

"There would be no need for you to leave even then, Bree'ika," Kad gave his sister a squeeze then took a couple of ale's from behind his back which had been there for a bit.

Popping the cap off, Kad offered Bree another bottle, and took a swig of his own as the sun passed under the horizon. It would be dark soon, and the ade woke up too early. Though, their buire did get up with ade so Kad and Briika could sleep in.

"I got you covered, vod'ika."

The whole topic seemed depressing. He wasted to shift it but didn't know how, he just looked out across the sky and sipped on his ale.

[member="Briika Detta"]

 

[Briika Munin]

"Vor entye… And ditto, vod'ika," she nodded with a soft smile, giving [member="Kad Tor"]'s thigh a pat before taking the offered ale from the sandy brown-haired goran. He must have read her mind.

Briika had always been closest relationship-wise to her younger brother, though had always looked up to her older and worshipped the eldest Tor sibling to a degree; even to the point of following Valen around, which she was doing the day he was murdered by Death Watch. It still haunted Bree to this day, and she would forever feel survivor's guilt as Valen gave his life defending her. If she just hadn't been there, he'd be alive...

Those tortured musings were pushed far back into the reaches of the blonde baar'ur's mind, then she looked up to the starry northern sky once again. "Do you remember when we were little Kad'ika and buir taught us all about the constellations... Can you find his favorite?"