Private Loss in Piety

[Loomi]

Loss in Piety
Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

Loomi was beside herself with... something. It wasn't quite anger, or frustration, or really confusion for that matter. There were certainly factors of that, but she was mainly just sad. Soul-crushed, even. She couldn't stop looking at the coin she had been left by that senator woman, the one that her supposed mother had sent for her. She couldn't help but wonder why the woman even wasted resources looking for her if she knew that they couldn't see each other. So much was spinning in her mind about her past, which she still had very little recollection about aside from being whisked away and enslaved.

Did she even stand a chance at having a childhood? It seemed like the option she had been robbed was nothing more than isolation with extra steps. Not that she really understood how Ord Providence's stupid cast worked anyways.

It didn't really matter, ultimately. Loomi had been sought out to be officially left behind and nothing more. The pretense of her simply being abducted from her home was gone now. All that time she had spent wondering if there was anything out there for her to go back to felt like such a waste in hind sight. Now she just wished that they had left her alone in blissful ignorance. Upon returning to the Jedi Temple following her meeting in the Senate building Loomi was inconsolable. She'd return in tears, running through the halls in an attempt to get to the only place she could think of. The Godoan tripped over herself half way to her destination, though she didn't linger on the ground like she usually did. She simply picked herself up and kept going.

Loomi needed an adult, and not just some random master. She needed someone she felt safe around.

So, the Godoan would arrive at Master Noble's corridors, knocking rather desperately on the door. Whenever Valery answered her door the teen would give her no time to react before stepping in and hugging the master tightly.

She wouldn't even get out a single word. All Loomi could do was sob.

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Tag: Loomi

"That's the...?" Valery asked expectantly with a loving smile.

"Taun-ta!" Aura squealed while she looked at the animal in her favorite children's book. She was sitting comfortably in her mother's lap, reading a story and looking at pictures with mom. Kahlil was out on a mission and Valery had to be at the Temple, so rather than leaving her little ones at home with a babysitter, she had brought them to the Temple today. She couldn't always just rely on other people to watch over the kids, after all.

"That's right! I'm so proud of you~" Valery leaned in a little and kissed Aurra's cheek, which only made the happy squeals louder. But right as Valery was about to flip to the next page, she heard someone knocking on the door. All at once, she was broken out of her motherly trance, and her senses honed in on Loomi's presence.

Had she forgotten about a scheduled lesson?

Valery quickly got up, placed Aurra in her crib, and walked over to the door. She opened it up and... immediately had Loomi pulling her into a tight embrace. Valery blinked, looked down, and relaxed her body before she just briefly wrapped her own arms around the girl. Something was wrong, and she was going to let Loomi talk about it, but first she closed the door and brought the young Padawan into her quarters.

"Do you want to sit down? There's no rush though," Valery said as she just kept Loomi in a safe embrace.

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

Loomi allowed herself to be ushered in. Valery asked if she wanted to take a seat, but that there was no rush. It gave her a moment to just stand there and cry. Truly cry at that. She didn’t need to worry about the stress of being wandered into in an emotionally compromised state. She was safe here. That was good.

But eventually Loomi did step back and make her way to a seat. She was less hysterical, but tears were still rolling down her cheek. The Godoan’s good eye was making up for the one she had lost. Her antennae flattened down in front of her face as she hung her head, tucking her hands between her knees.

“S-sorry,” Loomi apologized. She was still self aware enough to feel bad about barging in on Master Noble’s day. “I-I… E-everything is wrong.”

She paused for a moment, sniffling as she tried to think of how to describe her predicament. It seemed ridiculous really. The delusion of an overly emotional child.

“S-some lady wanted to meet with me, Ord Providence’s senator or something,” the teen explained. “Sh-she… s-said I have a mother… Not that it matters. I-I’m… not allowed to meet her. S-something about a ‘vow of isolation,’ or ‘ritual purity’…”

Her composure broke again. The tears started streaming faster and Loomi’s lower lip began to tremble.

“Sh-she sent someone to disown me!” Loomi wailed. “I-I d-didn’t even get to meet her…”

After being taken from her against her will, this was crushing.

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Tag: Loomi

"There's nothing to apologize for," Valery said after joining the young Padawan within her room. It wasn't as comfortable as her new home, or even her old apartment on Coruscant, but it would be enough. She had upgraded it a little after getting children, just in case they'd be here, and that luckily meant the seats were pretty comfortable. "Just take as much time as you need, and get anything off your chest that's bothering you." Valery would listen, and do anything she could to help.

Loomi then started to explain what had happened, and Valery listened with a heavy heart. It hit particularly hard because of her own memories of her mother. She had never known the woman, never looked back when she still could, and only recently learned just how loving her mother had been. How much she had cared about her daughter, despite not having been able to raise her.

Seeing tears running down Loomi's cheeks pulled Valery out of her own thoughts, and quickly had her shift over to wrap an arm around the young girl. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I... know what it's like to have never felt that connection to parents. But no matter what, mothers always love their kids, even when it doesn't seem to be the case." She spoke with a soft tone and gently rubbed along Loomi's back.

"I'm sure that whatever reason your mother had for vow, she still love you."

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

"Do you think so?" Loomi remarked with a sniffle.

It was such a foreign concept to Loomi that it was really hard for her to imagine. She hadn't been raised by a mother, or any loving figure for that matter. The Godoan had really only ever known coldness and apathy. It had made her transition to being with the Jedi so jarring.

People liked her. Like not just out of pity liked her.

"I-I... still don't really understand," she sighed. "Love, I mean. I've asked a lot of people, a-and I feel like I've gotten a lot of answers... but I can't figure it out..."

Could a mother who chose her world over her daughter still love her? Loomi thought this rather naively. She still didn't really understand how it even worked. What was most confusing is that love seemed to be everywhere, no matter the species. She couldn't help but wonder where it had been when she was a child.

"H-how do I know if someone actually loves me?"

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Tag: Loomi

"Love is... not easy to understand," Valery admitted with a sheepish smile. "I only really discovered it after my time in stasis, when I was already about 30 years old. But it's a feeling you'll understand when you do experience it. With parents and family, it's this unconditional care and affection. With a partner, it might go far beyond that, and you'll really know it's love because you don't want to be separated from that person at all," Valery tried to explain, knowing that it was still quite vague. There just wasn't really a good way to put it all to words, as the experience was different for everybody.

But she did have an idea to address Loomi's specific concerns about her mother.

"You know what? I uh, recently discovered an old message recorded by my mother. She gave me up to the Jedi when I was very little, and I never really looked back because I always viewed the Jedi as my true family. At least, until I got my own with Kahlil and the kids. I ended up returning to Keshi a year ago or so, and found out why my Mother had given me up, and how hard it had been on her."

"The message really shows a mother's love for her children. If you'd like, I can show it to you."

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

"I'd... like that a lot," she nodded.

It was hard to process everything that Valery was saying. The things that she was describing seemed so... alien. Yet Master Noble had stated that she didn't truly understand love till she was in her 30s. It clearly was something you could experience at any time, right? Maybe seeing what her mother said could help Loomi come to terms with her own parent situation.

"O-okay," Loomi reaffirmed. "Yeah, I... I'd like to see it. Thank you."

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Tag: Loomi

"Very well," Valery said with a soft smile, before she reached for her own neck and removed a necklace. She held it in the palm of her hand, and out came a projection. First, an image of Kahlil Noble and all the kids together she had stolen when they were having a picnic in their garden.

But then, she switched to the message.

"Hey Valery, it's mom. I know this is probably unexpected and that the Jedi would be against it, but I heard on the news you had gone missing, and I had to try and find you." Her voice broke up a little, as emotion filled her eyes. "All I could find was your ship, but I know you're alive somewhere out there. I can feel it. People on the news are speculating and saying horrible things but I just know they are wrong. So when you find your way back and see this recording..." She paused and fought back motherly tears before swallowing hard.

"I want you to know that your father and I are very proud of you and everything you've accomplished. Home hasn't felt the same without you, but we are all doing well and we hope to see you return to the Jedi soon. I love you, sweetie. You'll always be my little princess." She couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks, and smiled one final smile at her daughter before she waved and ended the short message she had been able to embed into the system.

...
"It's that raw emotion and the way she looks in the projector that really shows love to me," Valery said once it finished playing. Even now, after having seen it several times, it still made her feel a bit emotional.

"That's what it's really like to be a mother."

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

"Golly, that's..." she began with a sniffle, unable to keep herself from tearing up. "Th-that's so sweet."

She had chosen to hand over her daughter to the Jedi but still expressed so much compassion. It felt so real, like there was an actual woman there in the flesh relaying those things. Or maybe it was just her developing empathetic powers picking up on the emotions of Valery. It was hard to say.

"I-I just..." Loomi continued, turning back to Valery. "I just want to meet her once. I-I've been really lonely... f-for a really long time."

It was all she had ever truly wanted. A home, a family, loving parents. Now all she had was a distant gesture of compassion and a durasteel wall between what family she did have.

Everything was so complicated.

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Tag: Loomi

Even though her mother's message provoked strong emotions in Valery, she outwardly showed that comforting exterior she always had. She smiled, wrapped an arm around Loomi's shoulders, and pulled her close for a more gentle embrace. For a long time, Valery had felt lonely in the Galaxy too. Feelings she had for people couldn't be voiced or acted upon, and aside from a few friends, she never felt loved or understood what it really was.

Until she met Kahlil Noble .

"I know how tough it can be, and I hope you do get to see your mother again. But embrace the people currently around you too. We all care about you, and while we can't replace your mother, you should never feel lonely even in her absence." Gently, Valery rubbed the sides of Loomi's arm while she glanced down at the Godoan.

"Why don't you stay with me this evening? The kids will come over soon too, and you can eat dinner with us."