First Reply Magnets, Why Does It Have To Be Magnets?

[Percival Io]

Somewhere in the Scar Worlds, a crime lord had just received a surprise gift: a large high-powered magnet. Well, the magnet itself wasn't the gift—it was the unfortunate being stuck to the magnet that was the true present. The prize was promptly set up on display in the palace of the crime lord, a spotlight positioned above it.

Watching helplessly as the crime lord and his henchmen went about their dirty business, Percival Io vainly attempted to remove himself from the magnet. But his body was firmly affixed to its surface, as if he had been glued on. Worse, struggling caused his biotic flesh to warp in strange and decidedly unpleasant ways.

There was little he could do except hope for rescue—or if nothing else, a chance to plead his case. There had to be someone here with a sympathetic ear and questionable loyalties, especially where credits or UCks were involved...

 

[Mercy]

Percival Io

Mercy did a few jobs for this particular crime lord. Nothing to strenuous, some enforcement here, some hit jobs there, it was mainly a way for said criminal to feel good about themselves and their ability to attract a Sith into their employ. Mercy didn't particularly care. The credits were good, the jobs were easy and it allowed her to cultivate some much needed networking abilities.

It was a surprise then that on one of the days she came to the palace to lounge a familiar face popped up.

Suspended from the ceiling on a... glossy large coin-like object? Mercy had no reason to suspect it to be a magnet. She might have asked the local crime lord what it was, except for the fact that the face was recognized by her.

It was Lief ! She recognized him from the ravingly positive review he left on her darknet storefront. Now, Mercy wasn't really a merciful soul whatsoever, but she understood the need to maintain and preserve your fandom. What were you without your fans? And could you truly consider yourself an idol, if you left them hanging off the ceiling in a local crime lord's palace?

"Hey." She greeted the man she believed to be Eliphas. Good thing the room was empty for the moment (lunch break or some sort of siesta perhaps). "I dunno how ya got 'ere from enjoying my sight back on da horror moon..." A shrug there as Mercy grinned.

"Dun' care either, but- I can get ya outta here... if ya agree to amend yar review a bit. Gotta add something about mah indomitable strength and force o' will. Deal?"

Oh, yeah, even when dealing with a dangling fan... gotta take advantage of the situation whenever ya can.

 

[Percival Io]

According to experts, the odds of there being someone who looks just like you somewhere in the galaxy are quite high. In Percival’s case, however, it seemed he had at least five doppelgängers puttering around. Evidently someone's father had some explaining to do.

Given his tendency to run into identical brothers-from-another-mother, Percival was hardly surprised when a large, beefy woman approached him with familiarity, having confused him for one of his expies. A horror moon… yeah, that sounded about right. He'd encountered Eliphas Dune there too. The woman's terms for his release were quite reasonable, too—though it would require hacking Eliphas’ account to edit the review. Unless he simply left a new one, and let the charade end there...

“Deal,” Percival replied, wincing at the metallic sound of his voice. The magnetic field was warping his vocal cords. “I don’t know how I forgot to mention those. Your list of virtues is just so long, it’s hard to name them all…”

Okay, maybe he was laying it on a little thick, but desperation does that to people. Even androids. “I was part of a refugee relief team run by my family. Garbo captured me. He's got beef with our House; we're feuding over resources and power in this system.” All of which was true; he simply wasn't furnishing the details. "You probably won't be able to convince him to let me go. But if you can get me down from this magnet, we can fight our way out."

Mercy​

 

[Mercy]

Percival Io

Mercy grinned at his agreement and the grin even widened as Io stroked her ego even more.

"Ah, lad, shame ya didn't shout out when ya were admiring me back at tha horror moon. Would'a be nice to get some more compliments, while ya cutting down one evil tree after another..." Bemused there and clearly pleased. So no, Percival was laying it out exactly as thick as someone as egocentric as Mercy needed it to be laid onto.

Her attention wasn't entirely there when he explained his predicament.

After all, Mercy did say she didn't give a chit how he got here, but maybe the fanboy assumed that it was just a rhetorical saying. Instead she was gauging the height of the magnet. The way it was suspended. She hummed there as she considered it. Even as Percival was talking about convincing Garbo to let him go?

Mercy was taking a few steps back.

"Dun' really know how ya suspended against da hunk o' metal." Yeah, she had no idea it was a magnet and that this boy wasn't a real boy. "But uh... hold on, kay?"

She didn't wait for him to agree- instead? Went through her knees and then leaped up with a Force-assisted jump. It was a piece of bantha, her fists grabbed hold of the chain holding up the magnet. Which placed her squarely above the lad. The magnet was now starting to swing back and forth against the momentum of her jump.

"Ya doin' okay there, chief?"

Eyeing the chain. She could probably just snap it with her left arm.

 

[Percival Io]

The magnet was quite strong enough to keep him in place even as the chain began to swing—though it wasn't exactly a pleasant experience.

"Ya doin' okay there, chief?"

"Fine," Percival hissed between grit teeth. "If you break the chain, chances are it will fall and squish me like a bug. Slide me off it instead." She'd be fighting considerable magnetic forces to pry him away from it, but at least he wouldn't be crushed beneath the weight of the magnet.

Mercy​

 

[Mercy]

Percival Io

Mercy really didn't get what the kark this was.

How was the guy being lifted up? How was he stuck there? There didn't seem to be any ropes, no chains, nothing. Mercy might not be amazing at using the sense portions of the Force, but even she'd feel it smackdab against them. Not that either. It was only once one of her decorative chains stuck to the metal that the coin fell.

"Hold da karking commlink... that's a magnet." Blink blink. And then Mercy tapped Percival on the head. "Are ya made of metal, guy?" This wasn't exactly the time to have this conversation however.

Gorbo and his gang could return any moment.

This didn't seem to faze her however and she tapped his head again.

"Damn ya are, arentcha?? The kriff, what are ya?" This was one of the moments where the muscle-brick revealed some sharpness that was often hidden behind blunt words and even blunter methods. You could say it was a prosthetic or maybe some cybernetics. But that didn't square here, his entire body was stuck to the magnet.

Even a cyborg still had fleshy parts. This guy? Looked metal entirely through.

 

[Percival Io]

Percival was happy to answer questions, provided it got him freed faster. The problem was, it might wind up blowing his cover if she realized he wasn't the same guy who had left her a review. She didn't seem suspicious of him, however, just surprised and intrigued as she knocked on his head.

"Some kind of liquid metal, yeah," he replied, figuring she didn't need the details. In fact, Percival wasn't entirely sure what he was made out of. Some of his parts were organic, while others were mechanical. The only definite thing one could say about him was that he was thoroughly artificial, having been created in a factory. "I'm a Chaplain Neutralizer Model 1. The galaxy's first droid spiritual advisor." Realizing she might lose interest in freeing a droid, he added, "Owned by a very wealthy House. There'll be a reward in it for you if you free me. Besides the review, of course. Unless... does my being a droid make it a fake review by a bot?..."

Mercy​

 

[Mercy]

Percival Io

Liquid metal.

She had seen it all now. "Spiritual... advisor... droid..." Mercy muttered thoughtfully. "So yar like, what? A priest? For droids?" Did droids need priests? Presumably? Otherwise why would anyone go through the trouble of making one. She tapped his neck and shoulder next. Liquid indeed, there wasn't anything hollow about him- it?

Weeeeeird.

"Oh, priest-bot, ya preachin' mah laaanguage." She almost chirped in amusement. "I would'a still gotten ya out for da review, but now? I getcha out for sure."

About to cut the chain Mercy suddenly recalled his initial concern.

Right, yes, a squished priest-bot wouldn't be exactly writing her an amended review nor paying her out in a large lump sum of cash. Slide him off? Mercy squinted at the magnet. Then at the droid. A grunt escaped her lips as she held herself tight with one hand around the chain, while reorientating herself until her feet were solidly on Io's shoulders.

This was presumably not what he meant with 'slide me off', but this is Mercy they were talking about.

"Kay kay, hope ya ready for dis..." She muttered before starting to shove down with her feet.

Hard force downwards as Mercy called on the actual Force to assist her.

 

[Percival Io]

"So yar like, what? A priest? For droids?"

"For members of my House," he replied. "I give blessings, conduct rituals, and perform the last rites for soldiers about to die in battle..."

He was relieved that she wasn't put off by him being a liquid metal priest droid. "I am quite ready to be rescued, thanks."

As she began to exert force upon him, both with her positioned feet and the Force, Percival started to come off the magnet. Er, well, the fleshier parts of him did. The liquid metal remained stubbornly trapped in the bounds of the magnetic field, while the rest of his body peeled off in melted, stringy chunks, like a still-wet piece of chewing gum stuck to the bottom of a table. Thankfully he couldn't feel pain.

If she were to stop, Percival would snap back to the surface of the magnet like a rubber band, his body reforming itself as best as it was able. If not, well... he'd drop to the floor in pieces.

Which, funnily enough, wasn't actually the worst possible scenario.

Mercy​

 

[Mercy]

Percival Io

An ooooh there.

Okay, that did make some amount of sense, yes.

It was still karking weird, but not as karking weird as a priest for droids. Everyone knew droids didn't have religion. They were just glorified toaster ovens at the end of the day. Well, this one looked kinda complicated, so maybe... a toaster rocket launcher? That seemed about the right kind of sophistication upgrade in Mercy's mind.

"Kay, buddy, here we goooo."

Since Percival didn't pain he did not cry out in pain. Since he didn't cry out in pain? Mercy did not really see a reason to stop. "Jeeeeez, buddy, yar a karking weirdo, ya know that right?"

Said the woman who was currently scrapping off the weirdo with her boots. Until she landed right next to Percival 'In Parts' Io.

"Um." She looked down on the 'droid'. "What.... now?"

In the distance? Footsteps started to echo through the corridors. It wouldn't be long before the criminals entered the room. Mercy on the other didn't seem worried at all about it. Like.... literally, not at all. She didn't even glance towards the sound. Instead her shades were aggressively pointed towards the 'in parts' droid.

What a karking weirdo.

 

[Percival Io]

Percival scattered across the ground, safely outside the magnetic field. The chunk containing Percival's head and much of his upper body looked around at the other pieces of himself and sighed. "I was afraid this would happen one day."

The parts were moving, wriggling and writhing and regenerating rapidly. If they continued to do so, they would eventually reform into three separate Percivals. Maybe four if that one piece over there could manage it. The rest were too small to fully reconstitute on their own, but still. He didn't want to be one of identical triplets.

On top of this, footsteps were echoing down the hall. Mercy didn't appear bothered by it, but Percival's gaze fixated on the door. Without a moment's hesitation, he grabbed one of the reforming versions of himself and tossed it into the field, where it was promptly drawn upwards and affixed to the magnetized surface.

That took care of one of them. The other, well... he might come in handy during the escape attempt, at least.

"What.... now?"

"I'm getting the hell out of here as soon as I have legs again," Percival replied. He tapped his head, which of course featured a built-in Holonet connection. "While I'm waiting, I'll go ahead and write up your review now. And I'll arrange for the credits too while I'm at it. Would you like credits, or would you prefer one of those weird cryptocurrencies they've got now? What are they called? Ucks?"

Mercy​

 

[Mercy]

Percival Io

All of this was... a lot.

Mercy blinked, blinked at it. It was the main reason why Percy got away with giving her a 4 out of 5 review that didn't fawn over her. Once she found out about that? Percival's face would be her number one enemy. A total betrayal. She rescued her fanboy and the bastard would give her only four stars? Yeah, he was gonna be dead meat.

Or someone who looked like him would be dead meat.

"Oh sure." A blink again. "Yeah, UCs are fine. I am saving up for a new ship anyway." Then? Instead of waiting for Percival to regrow his legs, she'd lean over and grab him by the neck and shoulder (or whatever there was to grab), slinging him casually over her shoulders. If he let her anyway.

"Can't wait for ya to regrow, fanboy. Leggo. Ya can pay me and write the review as we be runnin'."

Let's hope that the next Percy Mercy saw wouldn't be Lief .