Manipulating Basic Vernacular

[Zaiden Dean]

Axel stepped into the spotlight and called out:

"I am graciously appreciative of this right,
To battle this night, and face this acolyte,
So let us begin with showing I am contrite,
For as a rapper I might kill ya on sight...

"Golden words spill to conjure grand rhymes,
With skill I cook thoughts and add a little thyme,
Wait, I mean I do it all in no time,
Or my raps are like enzymes,
Creating a literal paradigm,
Killin it like a giant, ya little Blenheim"


[member="Goran"]

 

[Goran]

The crowd went wild over the devilishly clever lyrics, but a curious hush fell as the spotlight shifted to Goran. Must have been the fact that it was an astromech droid. Or maybe it was the gigantic gold chain that hung round its chassis.

My rhymes are the freshest thing since home-sliced bread
Yours are so rotten, they belong on Dawn of the Dead
I'm killin' it
Illin' it
Take you on a roller coaster, high speed thrillin' it

My rhymes are digital
Next gen seminal
You're like flat soda
No goddamn fizz at all

So I'mma break it down now
Make these bitches say wow
You'll be kissin' me feet
Cause I'm the king of this beat

[member="Aruukis"]

 

[Zaiden Dean]

Raising a hand to bop with the beat, Axel reacted quickly:

"No high class I see, than how about some of that explicit,
Swifest, quickest and lyricalistic whip s**t,
The killest, realistic demonic summoning-ist spit,
Deadly, scare filled rhymes of a terror,
Quick here's ten seconds, pick ya pallbearers!

"Tried to be kind play the niceties, a great guy,
Now I gotta be that one to fly by what why?
I didn't wanna scare ya,
Be the one to bury ya,
Leveling all my nukes at everyone that's near to ya,
But this is the ways it gone, there's no turning back bruh,
So take a chance and pick of the pieces,
Give me another verse n I'll drain ya like leeches!"

[member="Goran"]

 

[Goran]

Goran had a hard time doing the whole rap hand thing without, well, hands, but he managed. Somehow. One of those things that doesn't bear thinking about too hard. The little Shard was forced to admit he was having a good time, even if he knew as much about rapping as he did about embroidery.

You talkin' about nukes,
But all you brought were water pistols
You shoulda brought some tampons
Bitches like you need fistfuls

The only think you're killin'
Is your own reputation
I'm like a serial murderer
I got no hesitation

Cause I be operatin'
Special forces mutilatin'
Droppin' panties and rhymes with equal aplomb
And droppin' this mic like a muthakarkin' clusterbomb

[member="Aruukis"]

 

[Zaiden Dean]

Axel felt his hand go to his mouth in the typical, 'Oh you got burnt' face, and that was when be grinned. Like his fellow Shard, he too was enjoying himself, immensely if he were honest.

"Serial murderer? Bruh you're like two feet tall,
Tampons for guns? Nah way to small,
I need the heavier sets of the very best,
My house is 4 floors, you'd need a ride to see the rest,

"How you gonna murder me?
You on the ground floor G,
I can flip around, bounce and wave,
All the while you sitting still, pissed, bout to blow like a grenade,

"I'm lyrically intrinsic,
Take any word and spin it,
Flip it, dip it, roll and light it,
You play like you take hits,
But really your not a fighter,
Your nothing but a whack MC, paint yourself a bit whiter."

[member="Goran"]

 

[Goran]

Goran spun in circles as the crowd went "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH", as crowds at events like this are wont to do. He decided it was time to break out his secret weapon. From the top of his dome shot out a lightsaber, attached to a specialized dueling arm, which he then proceeded to lead the crowd in a rousing round of rap hands with as the DJ did something that the kids would call "funky fresh" with the beat.

queen I got a lightsaber
Stab you in the baby maker
Catch you with that combo breaker
Like a Super Saiyan, KAMEHAMEHA!

Damn right I broke the fourth wall
All these bitches gonna crawl
You ain't gonna catch 'em all
Cause all your rhymes are hella small

I may be short, but I got mad skills
Gimme a gun or a mic and I'll get all the kills
I got that COMSEC, encrypted fills
Go back to turning tricks to pay your bills

[member="Aruukis"]

 

[Zaiden Dean]

Axel outright started dying, laughing as he clutched at a stomach that sent fake signals of pain to his real form. That was great. He had to admit.

"Ok, that was clean, I gotta say that,
But we all know how this ends, a bent dome from my bat,
Flip around and throw your writer a dirty gat,
Make him clean that, he got five mins flat!

"See not the only fourth wall breaker,
MC smoothie maker,
Ultimate victory taster,
Wait those are all me, not you,
We both know its true,
What you gonna do?

"This whole battle is crazy,
Didn't expect many laughs,
Thought it'd be all lazy,
Filled with dumb hacks,
But its dope, full of hilarity,
....WHY IS THE CROWD STARING AT ME!!"

[member="Goran"]

 

[Goran]

Goran wasn't hardwired to laugh, but he was finding it very difficult to keep from cackling as he soldiered on. The crowd was practically dying at this point. This battle would be over soon, if only because the contestants were having trouble staying upright in the face of weaponized mirth.

Dirty gat? Dirty sack
They're staring cause even your nuts need a Tic Tac
Mr. Clean gonna mass attack
Cause you smell like a bantha's crack

Listen to the listeners laugh and howl
I think it's maybe time to take a bow
It's finished, it's over, nothin' left for us now
Caught you with that silver bullet, kerplow

[member="Aruukis"]

 

[Zaiden Dean]

Axel laughed, this little guy was officially a favorite of his!

"Yeah, I think you're right, so enjoy success,
Because I admit I lost, I acquiesce,
My rhymes will need to assessed,
Because I lost to the Lil Rappers finesse.

"You did great little guy, you sure beat this Shard,
I hope you feel it was at least a little hard,
Rapping is much harder than playing around, a game of cards,
And I think I did alright, even if more forms not too tight."

 

[Zaiden Dean]

At that Axel turned to face the crowd, bowing low to the people he entertained. He could continue he thought, but chose to abstain. He felt a certain disdain, though chose not to complain. It was going to be simple and humane, leave then go and by some champagne.

With a secondary bow, he left through the back of the stage. Pausing at the coat rack, he drew the leather coat from its peg, next he donned his hat and reached for his cane. Using it was not an imperative, but it did make the appearance all the nicer. The metallic matte color of the black rivaled the glittering of the diamond grip atop the staff. Within it was a blade hidden deep inside, one that was sharp and Force imbued.