Private Mind on Fire

[Jalen Kai'el]

Mind on Fire
Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

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Jalen was terrified. He felt it, clear as day. The tugging at the back of his mind, reliving the moment that had lead him here over and over. He had commanded it on Batuu. In his unstable state, just before lapsing out of consciousness, Jalen had harnessed something he had not expected to. Flames. Fire. The great destroyer. The power to take so much has some how wound up in the palm of his unqualified hands.

Words could not express how mortified he was.

It wasn't just that the fire had been bent to his will, nor was it so much that the fire had been used to kill innocents before hand. Those were certainly factors, but all Jalen could conjure in his mind was the last thing he ever saw. They were so distinct, his final moments of sight. Hell raining from above, the home of his childhood up in flames. Everything burning, everyone screaming. Now that force of nature listened to him, forming itself to the desires of his mind. It was the ultimate betrayal, no different from setting the fire itself. In his mind, at least. Jalen had still not truly killed anyone, but that wasn't enough to stop him from worrying. If he was capable of doing so, he may as well already be guilty.

He needed to talk to someone... but Jalen couldn't bring himself to approach Jasper. He didn't want his brother to see him in such a distressed state. The last thing Jalen wanted was to upset his only family. So where to go? The answer sort of came to a logical conclusion. There was only one other individual who he trusted on such a level, and one he knew was wise enough to give him some sort of guidance... Valery Noble.

So, he arranged to meet her and waited, curled up in the corner of the lounge at the front of the temple. Hood over face, arms wrapped around his legs. Jalen didn't want anyone to look at him. Not at his face... not at his eyes. It was the only way to shield himself from judgement he couldn't see. Or maybe it was all self inflicted. Jalen didn't exactly care either way. Besides, all he had to do was meet with Master Noble and get it over with. Then he could sleep easy.

Right?

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Jalen Kai'el

After receiving Jalen's message, Valery wasted no time in freeing up some time in her busy schedule. A long time ago, she had sworn to protect not just the people of the Galaxy, but her fellow Jedi as well. She was a leader to them, and that meant she felt responsible for their well-being. So if a Padawan struggled as much as Jalen was now, she would always be there to help guide them, no matter what it was about, and no matter how much it was going to take.

And after their first meetings, Jalen had found himself a special place in her heart. She adored the young boy and saw great potential in him as well. But she also knew that his life was not an easy one and that in order to keep him from losing himself in self-doubt or other emotions, it would be crucial that he received the help he needed.

Help she would always be willing to offer.

"Jalen?" Valery asked, once she had reached the lounge and spotted him in the corner with a hood drawn over his head. Valery calmly made her approach and allowed her presence to wander unsuppressed so that it could be a blanket of warmth and peacefulness to the struggling Padawan.

"Hey, why don't we go somewhere a little more private, hm?" She then asked, after crouching down and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "We can head to my room here within the Temple if that's alright with you?"

 

[Jalen Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

​

"We can head to my room here within the Temple if that's alright with you?"

Jalen had felt Master Noble approach. A wave of relief flooded through him. It would be fine. He was fine.

"Y-yeah," Jalen answered simply, getting to his feet.

He wasn't going to protest. The padawan followed the Sword back to her Temple chambers, his mind drifting. Valery seemed to be doing something to make her presence more calming, which was helping to some extent. Jalen tried to focus on that instead of the nagging at the back of his mind. It helped him remain calm... for the most part at least. When they were finally in the isolation of her room, Jalen slowly drew back his hood. His eyes, sightless as they were, were sunken with stress and, at least ever so slightly, appeared to be bloodshot.

"I did something on Batuu," he stated hollowly. "Th-there was a town... it was burning. I..."

A shudder ran down his spine as he recalled the moment. It was like he was back on Lothal all over again. Jalen swallowed the saliva that had collected in his mouth in a bid to push back his nerves and continued.

"The fire..." the padawan continued, almost trancelike. "It... listened to me. Moved when I told it to."

Jalen's face lifted up to Valery's, tears now streaming down his face.

"I-I don't wanna hurt anyone."

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Jalen Kai'el

Once the two entered her Temple room, Valery made sure the door was both closed and locked before guiding him inside. Much like her apartment, the room here was very simple in design but still felt welcoming. Jalen couldn't see it, but aside from the comfortable meditation chairs, there were plenty of pictures of her loved ones everywhere. They helped her focus when she struggled the most.

"Take a seat if you'd like, and do you maybe want some tea? Or something else?" Valery asked but after his answer, she remained quiet and turned to look at him while he spoke. She could feel his emotions through the Force — he was tense and incredibly worried about something. Scared, even.

She knew that life hadn't been kind to him and that he had struggled before. Yet this felt different.

"Fire?" Valery hummed in thought and nodded after he explained what happened. "It's not common for Jedi to have an aptitude for it, and it's something to be extremely careful with. But I can assure you that it's possible to control it, just as you learn to control any other Force ability. This isn't something magical that's beyond comprehension," she tried to assure him, her voice calm and kind.

"I can show you."

 

[Jalen Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

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"I... I thought it was a bad thing," he frowned, wiping away the tears that had streamed down his face. "I-It isn't some dark side power?"

Jalen had only ever viewed fire as a source of destruction and despair. It was something that had to be in league with evil itself, right? But when he reflected on it, no. Fire didn't care. It was a natural phenomena dethatched from the emotions of people. It was no less evil or destructive then the wind or the rain.

That didn't mean he liked it.

"I-I don't know if I want to," Jalen answered. "I-I've seen... I... saw what it can do. I-If I start messing with it, what if I end up hurting someone?"

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Jalen Kai'el

"It's not a dark side power," Valery assured him, but she also understood what he said next. Fire was a very destructive phenomenon, and in the wrong hands, it might as well be a dark side power. That, however, applies to many other abilities as well. Even basic Telekinesis could destroy, harm or even kill.

It was all about intent and control.

"It's a Jedi's duty to learn how to control themselves, as well as their connection to the Force. Some abilities aren't just learned, but we're naturally gifted in them. So we can't avoid them. The best way to avoid hurting others is to learn how to control ourselves and our use of the Force so that no matter what happens, you'll always be in control."

She offered a soft smile, "Not many Jedi learn how to control fire, but it is a skill that I'm naturally gifted in as well. If you need a teacher, I'd be happy to show you how to use it safely, and how to use it properly as a Jedi."