Private Misery Hates Company

[Maeve Linahan]

"I'm sorry, but what? You cannot be serious."

Maeve stood in the near-empty Council chambers, dressed in sky-blue robes and glaring murderously at the droid archivist. She couldn't believe it. She refused to believe this was actually happening.

"I do not joke, Master Jedi. This is Kesh, and he is your new apprentice."

Unbelievable. Absolutely preposterous. Maeve had never asked for a padawan and she certainly never wanted for one, and yet here she was, being told by some droid that this boy was hers to train, hers to teach the ways of the Force. Just what were the Jedi Council thinking? This was surely Valery or Amani's doing.

Maeve side-eyed the boy standing beside the archivist. Kesh. What a bizarre name. He was short and a little frail-looking, and though that was to be expected for anyone his age, he hardly seemed like Jedi Shadow material. On instinct, she wanted to turn him away, but it wasn't like she could very well tell the Jedi Council 'no.' What else could she even do?

Maeve stared at Kesh for a long moment, then sighed. "How long have you known the Force?"

Resh​

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[Resh]

This introduction was going about as poorly as possible. Resh had been somewhat reticent himself to receive a master, over concerns of how it might shake up his otherwise rather peaceful life as a student. A master was no doubt going to take him on missions, train him to fight. He was afraid of those sorts of things. And now, meeting that master, he was even more afraid.

The pureblood was unmistakable with his golden eyes, the bone spurs on his chin, and his crimson skin, which burned a little more crimson right about now. Their very first meeting, and Maeve was already decrying the notion. He couldn't help but wonder if there was more to it than a simple lack of interest in a Padawan; Either way, the knight didn't exactly hide her response. But that wasn't all. Even the archive droid introducing him had gotten his name wrong! Talk about embarrassing. Suddenly cult life wasn't sounding so bad.

"Um… It's Resh, sir." He looked up at the droid nervously, "Resh." He emphasized the rhotic sound, then his eyes immediately darted to the floor. An incredibly awkward silence followed, until Maeve suddenly spoke up. Her question made the Padawan's expression twist quizzically, "How long…? My whole life, I guess. I was initially taught by, um… not Jedi types." She could easily find the information on his origins prior to meeting the Order, but something about starting off their already rocky meeting with "Hello, I was lab-grown and indoctrinated by a Sith cult that tried to worship me as the reincarnation of my Dark Lord template!" Didn't really seem like it would smooth things over, and so he euphemized generously.

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"Resh?" The droid repeated incredulously, then gave a mechanical sigh. "I see. My apologies. I will update your name in my database appropriately."

"Dull droid can't even get names right," Maeve muttered, shaking her head in disbelief. "Leave us, archivist. I would speak to Resh alone."

The droid bowed and shuffled out of the chambers, though distantly, she could've sworn she heard it grumble, "Primitive meat bags."

The archivist disappeared through the doors, leaving her and the boy alone. Maeve watched him, her gaze dismantling. "Now, you said you've been practicing the Force all your life? Trained outside the Order?" She narrowed her eyes. "Ashla's Light, were you born a Sith?"

She groaned and raised her hand at him. "You know what? Don't answer that. Better if I don't know." If there was one thing she hated above anything else—besides children, of course—it was Sith. No matter their age or rank. Even Jedi who'd turned from the Dark Side, Maeve tended to avoid.

Just because they followed the Light now was no excuse.

Maeve settled for pretending the boy was raised by scavengers and left it at that. Instead, she continued to study him, staring him dead in the eyes. "Alright. You may know the Force, but are you any good at it?"

Resh​

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[Resh]

How'd that of all things get messed up? It was a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things, but right about now, it felt like the biggest blunder in the galaxy. Maeve chastised the droid on its clerical error, and Resh couldn't decide if he was happy for the 'back-up', or flustered by the further conflict. It left them alone shortly after, and the padawan had no choice but to stand there under his new master's piercing glare. Eventually he forced himself to look up at her, big golden eyes locked, as if looking away would cause her to suddenly pounce.

"Ashla's Light, were you born a Sith?"

"Um," Did she mean pureblood, or the religion? Either way, the answer was technically the same, "…Yes? Kind of?" He shrugged, already answering at the same time she told him not to, "Ope." Maybe she didn't hear it as they talked over each other. Too late to take it back though. Resh shuffled his feet, "I've been told I'm very strong— I-in the Force. They said I had a high uh… middlecorian count."

"But it's hard to control. I don't like using it, I feel like I… lose control."

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

Force help me.

Maeve stared at the boy for an agonizingly long moment. He did not just say what he said. Not only was the Council dumping a Padawan into her lap, but a Sith-born? One that still struggled to contain his inherent, dark impulses? That was too much, even for her.

Jedi Shadows were tasked with hunting and destroying all things related to the Sith. Artifacts, weapons, creations—that included the boy standing right in front of her, and while she felt the distant urge to take her lightsaber and do exactly what her gut was telling her, she resisted that feeling and stayed her hand.

Better to not anger the Council by killing an unarmed boy.

Maeve let out a long breath and paced around the Council chambers, resting her hands on her hips. "I don't care about your Midi-chlorian count. I rather care that you can learn to control it, but I suppose that's up to me to show you how."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "When was the last time you used the Force? Lost control? Be honest. I will know if you're lying to me."

Resh​

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[Resh]

There was an eeriness to the silence that followed Resh's admission. He waited for her to say something, anything, and the longer it took, the more he started to wonder if this woman might genuinely kill him. It made the boy ache, and fear in a way he had not expected to within the confines of this temple. It reaffirmed that not all Jedi would be as welcoming as those that had first rescued him.

"Last time I lost control was, before I was brought to the Jedi. The man who created me, betrayed me, threatened to kill me, told me my whole life was a lie. I was… angry. I wanted to kill him. I almost did, but the Jedi stopped me. I've used it in training a couple times since then, but, focusing is hard."

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"That's all?"

Maeve contemplated Resh's story. It made sense. Rescued by the Jedi, saved from the clutches of some mad Sith alchemist. Had she been there, she would've killed the boy and his creator, two birds one stone, but some Jedi were too softhearted for their own good. Of course they took him in. Whoever that was, she didn't bother to ask. That wasn't the point.

"It's good you've managed to control your impulses so far, else your apprenticeship probably wasn't going to last outside this room." Maeve slowly circled him. "Now, if you're to be a Jedi Shadow, you should understand that you may be toeing the line between the Dark and the Light often. See, when it comes to the Sith, mercy isn't an option we normally choose."

She clasped her hands behind her back. "The point is not to let your anger and hate consume you when you fight. There has to be a balance. A limit."

Maeve stopped in front of him on the other side of the room. "Before I take you on, I'd rather like to see your limit. Of course, I can't know what you're capable of without seeing it for myself. So, I hope you're ready."

She smiled, then used the Force to hurl one of the chairs at Resh's face.

Resh​

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[Resh]

Resh was already dreading this as Maeve spoke about how Jedi like her toed the line. He didn't want to toe the line. He didn't want to confront that part of himself. The Shadow devalued mercy, "…It isn't?" He mumbled. It was starting to sound like the opposite of what the Jedi had led him to value.

Still, Maeve committed to the idea of a necessary limit. Was it really that easy? He couldn't imagine it so. Certainly not as a chair was flung at him. "W-wait!" Resh yelped, and dropped to the ground as the furniture sailed over. He stood back up, expecting something else to come flying his way. But he didn't resist. Didn't push back. He was only avoiding. "I can't do that! The Jedi— they'll—" Kick him out, surely. Or worse. He'd spent all this time trying to bury his impulses, but now his new master was already trying to undo his work?

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"The Jedi will what? Punish you? Exile you? Kill you?"

Maeve paced around the room like a beast searching for a blind spot. She raised her hand, and with it, another chair. She sent it flying towards Resh, this time towards his gut, hoping to knock the air out of him or smash him against the wall. Maybe both, if she was lucky.

"I am your master now. Not Master Noble, or Master Serys-Organa, and this is part of your training. Your first test. Show me what you can do!"

Whatever he did, Maeve took up another seat, lifting it with the Force as if it weighed little more than a teacup. "Are you just not up to the task? Do you really think you become a Jedi by simply running, by bottling up your impulses and letting them fester inside you?"

She threw the next chair at him. "No. Our job is to fight the Dark Side. The more you hide, the more you avoid it, the less prepared you will be when it comes knocking. How will you ever be able to overcome your fears when you refuse to face them?"

Resh​

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[Resh]

"Y-yes!" Resh admitted, managing to scramble out of the way of the second chair as well. This was insane, he thought. Is this was the Council head in store for him all along? "I can't!"

His Master lifted up another chair, refusing to end her onslaught. The threats, the belittling, it was all too familiar. It reminded him of the Sith. What they sought to get out of him, now the Jedi was doing the same. Resh stood up pitifully, unable to move as the next obstacle flung his way. He could only twist around, covering his head as the chair hit him in the back. "...Stop!" He cried with sudden anger, reaching out a twisting hand towards his master in retaliation. He tried to hold her still in a telekinetic grip that surged with darkness. It was powerful.

Not powerful enough to stand up to a trained Jedi Knight, of course. But given his youth and inexperience, the raw energy behind it was impressive. Concerning, even, if left uncontrolled.

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

The last chair smacked into Resh, and Maeve knew that would be enough.

The Force surged with a darkness she hadn't felt since exploring the wastes on Ziost. Pure rage. Hate beyond understanding. Her arms locked to her sides, trapped in an invisible, vice-like grip, and she stared at Resh, almost surprised by his sheer strength.

Maeve should've moved to kill him right then and there, but she didn't.

The Light Side pooled inside of her chest, serving as a buffer between her and the cold fingers of the Dark Side that had been wrapped around her, but she didn't burst out of the hold as she should've. Rather, she resisted only slightly, allowing Resh's grip on her to tighten, the Dark Side slowly consuming him, dragging him under.

Her jaw clenched. "There he is. Resh the Sith."

Resh​

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[Resh]

Resh raised both hands now, as if trying to squish Maeve under his grip. Her words made him falter, "This is what you asked for!" He was angry at the accusation, at her for making him go this far. But there was an innate conflict in him that stopped it from growing more powerful. Shame that he had succumbed this easily. Fear of what it could lead to. He had it in him to resist.

"You hate me. I feel it," Resh declared, "But you don't even know me. You're no better than me!" His grip faltered in spite of his mounting frustration.

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"Hate you?" she said. "No, let's just say I strongly disapprove."

Maeve felt his grip weaken, but not completely vanish. He was still letting the Dark Side in, allowing it to bubble in his chest, though she had to admit her surprise at seeing him able to resist. Not many could do that, and for a Sith-bred boy? It was almost unheard of—not that it'd save him, of course. Maeve was not the merciful type.

"Now..." she said, staring at him from across the room. The Force continued to build inside her. "Thinking I'm no better? That's where you're wrong."

She snapped out of his hold with a burst of the Light, arms breaking out as if she'd been bound by little more than a string of yarn. The Force exploded outwards from where she stood—enough to scatter the chairs around the room, enough to rattle the windows and crack the floor at her feet, enough to throw Resh from where he stood, perhaps even into the wall.

"Just from this encounter alone, I know all I need to know about you."

Resh​

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[Resh]

For all Resh's strain, it was soon revealed just how little control he had. Maeve broke out from his grip with ease and then some, creating a shockwave that sent anything in the room not nailed down flying; The padawan included. Resh rolled across the ground, knocking into the back wall and watching Maeve with stunned inaction. Was she going to kill him? Would the Jedi let her. He genuinely didn't know anymore.

"All you care to know," Resh muttered bitterly, "You're just like them."

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"You're just like them."

"No, I kill them."

Maeve moved slowly towards Resh. Standing in her pale robes with the sunlight at her back, hair almost golden, she must've looked like a terrible, beautiful monster. Maybe she was. The boy wouldn't have been the first person to call her one. He probably wouldn't be the last.

"I've seen enough. You are timid, impulsive, and lack discipline. You are careless with the Force, and didn't even hesitate to call out to the Dark Side at the first chair that hit you. Is that all it takes to bring out the Sith in you? A shouting match and a few cushioned seats?"

She stopped just short of where he was, casting a long shadow. "I know what you are. You're a Sith Pureblood. A Darth just waiting to break from his eggshell. A boy in possession of power he doesn't even understand because he refuses to learn how to control it."

"And now, it seems it's up to me to make sure you do."

Shockingly enough, Maeve extended her hand out to him. "If you want to be more than what you were born to be, then don't just sit there and accept it. Get up."

"Do you want to be a Jedi or not?"

Resh​

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[Resh]

Resh sat frozen, glaring at Maeve but not daring to move. If not for the Order assigning her to teach him, she might very well have killed him. If she had encountered him in the field, she might very well have killed him. This was not lost on the young Sith Pureblood.

"I know what you are. You're a Sith Pureblood. A Darth just waiting to break from his eggshell. A boy in possession of power he doesn't even understand because he refuses to learn how to control it."

"Why do you think I'm here?!" Resh lashed out. He wouldn't have gotten this far if he didn't want to control it. He could have indulged long ago, but held fast. Then, there was a shift in the conversation. Maeve offered her hand. He stared at it in confusion, half expecting some other test to follow it. But she merely asked him a simple question. Resh looked up at her, took the hand, and stood up, "Yes. I want to be a Jedi." The pureblood's lips twisted, then, he made himself dip forward in a bow, "Master."

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"Master," she repeated after him. "That will take some getting used to."

She waved a hand and the scattered chairs around them slid back into place, almost as if nothing had ever happened. The Jedi Council would probably question her, but Maeve didn't care. They knew what she was like and still assigned Resh to her anyway. What more did they expect to happen? Introductions and a handshake?

She turned and gestured Resh to follow her outside. "If you really do want to become a Jedi, then you need to understand that it's not all roses and sunshine. There's more to it than sitting in meditation or learning how to balance on a rock."

Maeve stepped into the corridor outside the Council chambers. As she strode through the hall, archivists and watchful guards made sure to steer clear from her path—she'd clearly earned a reputation around the temple, and no one dared risk getting on her bad side.

"There is one duty we as Jedi Shadows must pursue: the destruction of all things Sith. That will often require stealth, cunning, and more often than not, combat." She cast Resh a look over her shoulder. "Do you know how to fight?"

Resh​

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[Resh]

"Master. That will take some getting used to."

Resh finally managed a smirk. A small and fleeting one, but a smirk nonetheless. Maeve rearranged the room with ease, and gestured for him to follow her out. She spoke plainly, which he guessed he could find a way to appreciate. Better than being lied to. "I… know that," He said, almost admitting as much to himself as to her. Part of him wished his time at the temple could have remained as it was, even if unfulfilling. It was comfortable. Consistent. And it didn't involve any fighting. But deep down he understood that it couldn't last.

Through the hall they passed various other Jedi faculty, treating them with a deference Resh was not used to. Not here anyway. Was it respect? Fear? It again reminded him of his time with the Sith, a feeling that he forced himself to swallow once more. "Uhh, kind of. But I haven't really applied it much." Field missions had been limited, very much to his liking.

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"With me, you will," Maeve said. She'd train him hard, harder than she would anyone else, and not because she hated that he was born Sith, but because if he truly wanted to overcome his heritage, it was going to take time and discipline. Kahlil, at least, had Valery and a family to depend on when the Dark Side came calling. Resh? He had nothing.

Just like Maeve had, she would teach him how to resist the Dark.

"For the next two weeks, you will spend every morning practicing lightsaber stances and hand-to-hand combat in the temple training rooms. I expect you not to lash out at the instructors like you had with me, because every time you do, I will make you spend the rest of the day cleaning the temple bathrooms. Understand?"

A reasonable threat. She hoped that would be enough, though Maeve had a feeling he'd suffer such a fate once or twice if he really did struggle to contain his base impulses.

"Once I feel you're ready, you will accompany me on field missions. There, you will learn how to sneak, hide, steal, fight, and if need be, kill. You'll learn to be a shadow on the wall, as any Jedi Shadow should be. You will learn to be a Knight." She stopped at the hall's end, just outside the training room doors. "Any questions?"

Resh​

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[Resh]

Resh pursed his lips, resisting the urge to say something. Something along the lines of "Every morning?" But he knew better by now that to complain. She wouldn't tolerate it, and he hadn't earned it. The Jedi had given him second chances a plenty. Now he could make something of those second chances, and pay back the clemency they had shown. Killing was still a prospect that left him feeling ill in the stomach. But perhaps in time, he could understand the reasoning behind it. If nothing else, he was willing to hear it out.

"...No questions, Master." Resh acknowledged, shaking his head, "So… What now?"

Maeve Linahan​