Private Moonlight Reverie

[Kaila Irons]

Location: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds
Wearing: Dress
Tag: Quinn Varanin

Kaila leaned forward over the stone fence which flanked the walkway to the Eternalist chapel nearby, Her eyes turned skyward and softly aglow just aa the stars on this dark night. It was the same chapel in which she and Tamsin Graves once communed with the spirit of Tavion Axmis during the Memoria festival, and the very same place whence she had first met Darth Moskvin on a moonlit night not unlike this one.

Some would call it a strange place to meet a princess, perhaps even eerie, given the time of night.

But it was one of few locations in the sith capital where the light pollution was at it's thinnest and it's buildings the smallest, giving one ample view of Jutrand's moon and clear line of sight to the uncountable stars. Whenever she was in the capital at an hour in which no other living thing walked these grounds, Kaila often came here to gather her thoughts under the moonlight, for it reminded her of a distant planet she now knew to be home. It seemed that no matter where one travels, a witch may always look to her guiding moonlight.

She just hoped that the Princess of Eshan would find the sights as beautiful as she did.

Failing that, she could be content to bask in the Echani's own moon-like glow radiance if need be, though she suspected few establishments would be willing to humor the two women at this hour. Unless perhaps she abused her authority as sith knight. It was for a good cause, after all.

Though she had prepared for this as well, leaving her nearby speeder stocked with drinks and food, complete with a red blanket laid out for the two to sit if they wished.


Kaila had, in her opinion, thought of everything.

​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kaila Irons //:
//: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds //:
//: Attire //:

Explaining to a security detail where you were going at the hour she was leaving felt like she was talking to her parents all over again. Quinn reminded the Echani guard that her Mother had sent that she was the one in charge and could easily protect herself. Cold stares followed, but she was given the permission to leave. Walking was the biggest part of the argument. The place that Kaila had told her to meet was only a few blocks away from her estate. Quinn wanted to avoid causing a ruckus by taking the speeder that took her around the city. Also, she would hate to wake the driver at this hour.

The city at night was something she rarely enjoyed. The Princess enjoyed her evenings at home, in front of a fire if it was cold and reading. At times, she carried on a conversation with Kirie - especially as recently since the woman was slowly opening up to her more. Thinking about how this could all end the moment she was freed. Quinn sighed and tried to not think about the dreadful future in store for her. Her mind focused on seeing Kaila; thinking of the woman made her heart leap and her cheeks flush. They were happier thoughts and ones that made her day just a little brighter.

Quinn found solace in the gentle tapping of her heels against the duracrete sidewalk. It had a rhythm that scratched an itch, making her feel independent and on her own. But it also made her feel alone. At least she had Kaila to look forward to. Quinn wondered if the woman thought of her as fondly as she did. She wondered if there were moments, like catching a gentle breeze against her cheek, that reminded her of Kaila's warm touch. Quinn stopped and exhaled deeply - she couldn't let her mind wander, nor could she let her heart dream.

Walking again, she came upon the site and took it in. Kaila was more romantic than she gave the woman credit for, and for just that moment, the Princess allowed her heart to swell and dream. Clearing her throat, she announced her presence to the Darth and chuckled. "A chapel?" Quinn continued to draw closer to the other woman until she leaned against the same stone fence. Her hands gripped the top tightly as she swung herself up to sit on the thick ledge. Legs crossed, the Echani scrunched her eyes and nose before laughing. "I would have worn a wedding dress and brought my dowry." She poked fun at the woman but looked around and could easily understand why it was chosen.

"I've missed you," Her voice was quiet, almost scared to share the private emotion. It was the truth, though, Quinn found herself wondering about the woman on Echnos. Knowing that she needed to not think of her too much. Leaning forward on the ledge and towards Kaila, the Princess smirked, "So are you going to kiss me now, or do I have to say please?" Quinn knew the emphasis of the last word and its weight. She remembered how she begged for Kaila on the hospital bed and how terribly she wanted the woman.

 

[Kaila Irons]

Location: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds
Wearing: Dress
Tag: Quinn Varanin

Kaila perked up the moment she heard the princess clear her throat, let alone say anything, smiling warmly when a glance over the shoulder confirmed what her ears led her to suspect.

She was here, and thankfully, not yet bored this time.

"A chapel?"

"Not a fan...?" she laughed nervously, praying in silence to the fanged god that the admittedly strange locale had not offended.

"I would have worn a wedding dress and brought my dowry."

But her worries were unfounded it seemed, as they often were when it came to Quinn. Kaila's lips pursed, a smile playing at their twitching corners, though hardly a sound came at first.

"...shall I... take a knee then?"

Kaila could hardly finish the sentence as she glanced away, for though it was much to early to even consider such things, the mental image of Quinn in that white dress, to say nothing of proposing... It did things to her. Even now without such complications, the sight of that echani's alabaster skin given aglow with moonlight was enough to give the young Darth delighted pause.

"I've missed you,"

Hers was a sheepish grin as she turned to Quinn once more, inching closer even as her heart felt like it may burst aflame.

The princess had a way of chipping away that shyness of hers however, of invading her thoughts with little more than a word or two if not presence alone, until all else faded and the words came naturally in time.

"So are you going to kiss me now, or do I have to say please?"

By the time she reached Quinn's side, the blonde woman looked as if she'd been enchanted by some forest fae from an ancient fairy tale, a thing only amplified by the princess, who was herself the perfect character for such works. The poor thing gripped the fence with each step as if she might fall over otherwise, such was the spinning sensation of hearing that particular word again, and perhaps a few others of which she fondly recalled.

Kaila being as Kaila typically was, she took the invitation most seriously, leaning closely to cup the royal's cheek, lips nearing so close they could feel each other's hot breath on the cool night air.

But in a rare act of control, she stopped there, for but a moment.

"Every time I think I've seen you at your most beautiful... you exceed expectation." she whispered.

"...you haunt me, Quinn."

She hoped this would adequately explain the depths of her longing in kind, and the lasting impact the princess had in so little time, though her presence lingered long after. Kaila had both the honor and the heartache to have shared a kiss with the two most beautiful women she'd ever known. She prayed that this time, things would last.

Their kiss was different this time. Slow, but deep.

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kaila Irons //:
//: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds //:
//: Attire //:

Quinn would laugh hearing Kaila suggest her dropping to one knee. The Echani mused over the thought and tilted her head letting the woman draw closer. In a whisper, she smirked. "Force knows how much I like you on your knees, Governor."

Kaila drew closer and Quinn forgot to breathe. The anticipation got the best of her as she watched and listened. Quinn had never allowed herself the freedoms she was allotting for herself now. The rigid upbringing, the constant need to be poised and perfect. For what? To be passed over for the Crown, to just be a Princess? There was nothing more for her to prove, she had done everything she could and still fell short. Quinn found her breath as Kaila's warm hand cupped her cheek. Gently, the Princess nuzzled the welcomed touch, begging for more as her eyes lingered upon Kaila's face.

She smiled, hearing the woman's whispered words. They were dangerous words, ones that made a heart dream and wish. The kiss was different, and Quinn could feel it. A hint of desperation from both sides lingered at the tip of their tongues, while the desire for more lingered at the tip of their tongues. She wanted to feel that high again, knowing that Kaila wanted her with all her imperfections and not for the power possessing her would have.

Never again did she want to feel like a possession or a prize to win, after everything she would remain free to forge her path. Her impatience shined through as her hands reached and pulled Kaila in as close as she could. Nothing could be closer than how they were on Echnos, despite how much Quinn tried to keep Kaila close. Slowly, she pulled back, taking in a much needed breath. A finger laid gently against the other woman's lips as Quinn smiled, remembering the whispered confessions of the Darth.

"You speak dangerous words, my darling Governor," Quinn let her finger linger, then slowly caressed the lips she had just kissed. Leaning back on the ledge, Quinn looked up at the sky, seeing the stars cutting through the dim lights. It was beautiful and something she hadn't seen since being on Eshan. The sight made her feel alive and she took it in and sighed contently.

"Tell me, Kaila, do I haunt your dreams or do I haunt the hours you're awake?" Looking back at the woman, she continued to smile. "How much work have I interfered with? Do you think about our time together often?"

 

[Kaila Irons]

Location: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds
Wearing: Dress
Tag: Quinn Varanin

Kaila smiled into the lingering touch upon her lips, lingering in kind for a time, simply basking in this strange closeness they shared.

Even among sith, who so rarely allowed themselves to be so vulnerable, there was something different about her experiences with Quinn that the young Darth could not quite place, but craved nonetheless. And as the princess turned away to look upon the stars above, Kaila could not tear her eyes away from her.

She clambered up atop the stone railing to sit beside Quinn, leaning so that her head came to rest upon the echani's shoulder, sighing contently.

"Tell me, Kaila, do I haunt your dreams or do I haunt the hours you're awake?" Looking back at the woman, she continued to smile. "How much work have I interfered with? Do you think about our time together often?"

"Hmh." she gave the princess a sweet, if briefly melancholy smile.

"I find it difficult to stay asleep without knowing you're there beside me."

The governor of Echnos was often plagued by the very nightmares which secured her borders, to say nothing of the horrors which her former master had inflicted.

Never had she slept so soundly as that night with Quinn.

"In my waking hours, when the logistical forms become monotonous, I do find my mind's eye adrift in your favor." she added with a warmer smile than before.

"Sometimes I see my cloaked guards, and in those tired hours I wonder for but a moment if I've spotted your ashen hair tucked inside the hood, one of your unannounced visits, come to save us both from our boredom." Kaila chuckled.

"And some mornings I leave out a second tea cup, as if it would somehow summon you like offerings upon the altar."

"Though," she would grunt as leaned forward, idly picking at her black nails.

"I fear I'd make a poor cultist, knowing less of the one to whom I make my little offerings than perhaps one should."

"I'd... like to change that, if I may?" she glanced to her, a cautiously hopeful look in her eye.

"To know more of you than what I see, captivating as it is."

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kaila Irons //:
//: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds //:
//: Attire //:

Quinn silently listened to Kaila answer the question. She was ill-prepared to hear how deeply she's impacted the other woman's life. Her words drew the Echani in as she listened, understanding the pining that Kaila had. More often than not, they were worlds away. There were options, such as Quinn moving to Echnos, but she would be sacrificing her teaching position and her home. Kaila couldn't come to Jutrand permanently; she had a planet to govern and people to care for. It was the hand they were dealt.

People getting to know Quinn scared her. It was easier to keep people at the surface level because then she could continue to present the perfection she had crafted as 'Princess of Eshan.' Underneath it all was just a broken mess of a woman. Quinn cleared her throat and nodded. "I think it would be nice to get to know each other a bit more on another level beyond what we already know of each other." As much as it makes her nervous to let someone get close, Kailia was right.

A part of her had hoped that it would be held off for a little longer. Being able to let herself live off the cardinal desires without any consequences has been liberating. Quinn smiled, leaned back slightly on the stone wall, and looked back up at the stars. Her eyes closed as she silently prayed to the Moon that this wouldn't scare Kaila away. Deep down, Quinn knew she was a mess, but she didn't know if Kaila could handle it.

With her prayer finished, Quinn looked at Kaila with a gentle smile. Seeing the woman pick at her nails, she reached out and held her hand. Adding more to the comfort she was trying to give the woman, she kissed her cheek. "I hope whatever you learn about me doesn't change your opinion of me."

Quinn mentally prepared herself as she waited for Kaila. "I'll be honest; it makes me feel special that you want to know me. I guess I've just gotten so used to people just wanting to know me superficially." Quinn was lucky that there were some people who had already tried to get to know her. They were few and far between, but each person made her feel better about herself.

 

[Kaila Irons]

Location: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds
Wearing: Dress
Tag: Quinn Varanin

Quinn had a way of dissuading her worries that few could match, leaving the governor with a smile on her face as she leaned into the kiss. However, that did not stop her being concerned for the princess, who's words, though subtle, spoke of anxieties all her own. Kaila peered at her curiously, holding her hand a little tighter.

"I hope whatever you learn about me doesn't change your opinion of me."

Quinn mentally prepared herself as she waited for Kaila. "I'll be honest; it makes me feel special that you want to know me. I guess I've just gotten so used to people just wanting to know me superficially."

"Quinn..."

Not 'princess' nor 'my lady', just Quinn. It wasn't that she didn't acknowledge the titles, logically she was aware of them, It was merely that in moments like these, she only saw her dear friend. Even if after they'd go back to their peculiar bantering between royal and former slave who so enjoyed challenging her authority yet respected it in equal measure.

And so Kaila wrapped one arm around her, trying to comfort a woman beyond her station.

"I... was frightened, once, to be known more than superficially. I still am, to an extent, for fear of losing that connection much as gaining it."

"But..."

"Well, let's just say you've inspired me to be a little brave."

she smiled warmly at Quinn, though there was still that faint concern in her eye. Truth be told she wondered if she was not equally likely to frighten away the princess as she nearly had Ala, even if this time they were at least part of the same empire. There was also the concern that she might come on too strongly, not quite recovered from that loss.

Making the princess uncomfortable was a most dreadful thought indeed.

"I hope in time perhaps I might do the same for you, to give back as much as I take." she laughed nervously.

"You make me feel special too, Quinn. But even more than that... You make me feel like a person."

​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kaila Irons //:
//: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds //:
//: Attire //:

The Princess appreciated the attempt to comfort her. She knew Kaila had good intentions for what she was asking. People wanted to know more about things they felt were special despite the horrors they might uncover. Quinn appreciated the mystery of others, letting them surprise her as she moved through life. Quinn nodded in agreement with the words of encouragement the woman gave. Kaila surprised her every time they met, learning more about the woman who dared to stand against the God-King himself.

"You make me sound so much more than I am." Quinn laughed gently as she nudged the woman playfully. Silence fell between them as Quinn let the words sink in. They were dangerous words that made her heart feel lighter and made her feel safe. How could Kaila strike her as deep as she did in her core?

"I'm glad I can allow you to feel like a person." Quinn softly answered; it was a feeling she could understand. So many times in her past, she felt like a prize to win or something to collect. Brief memories of a particular noble who made it his mission to fight any suiter that Quinn had grown close to. Even went as far as to hunt down her paramour and challenge her. The memory made Quinn chuckle, remembering how his ego hurt. In reality, he wanted the power that came with the Princess - a constant fear of anyone she met.

"I know what it's like to not be a person. It always scares me that people I meet only see me for a title or an easy path to the Empress." Quinn felt guilty when people saw her as an access route to Srina and Empyrean. She wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to them because of her actions. Oftentimes, her Godmother eased the Princess' mind by reminding her that things were okay and that she could be normal.

Quinn didn't know how to be that. Looking at Kaila, Quinn watched the woman, her eyes focusing on different places on her face, seeing her reaction to feeling the same. Quinn knew her views were privileged and far from what Kaila probably experienced. Another pang of guilt, knowing her experiences were not as painful as others. At the end of the day, she was a princess who had the support of endless funds and status, but she still had humanity.

"Where did you find your bravery to challenge Kaine Zambrano?" Quinn was curious; she wanted to know, maybe to learn something more that could help her in the long run. As free as she felt, Quinn still felt the chains of her past clawing into her.

 

[Kaila Irons]

Location: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds
Wearing: Dress
Tag: Quinn Varanin

"Access to the empress..." Kaila echoed as if it had never even occurred to her that one might do such a thing, nor could.

Interestingly, that was partially because she already had more access to The Emperor than she let on, even if bound by secrecy to never reveal such things. By extension, she was bound in loyalty to Srina Talon even before freeing Kaila, an action which did much to reinforce her loyalty, though was not it's foundation.

Looking at Quinn with a concerned, hesitant expression, she realized just how lonely the princess must feel.

They shared that in common, she supposed, and for one unifying reason which transcended station; caution. Kaila's was manifested from well founded distrust of her master from the very beginning, yet resulted in a self sabotaging spiral, convinced the whole galaxy was against her. Quinn's it seemed was a matter of her birth, and though perhaps she led a more comfortable life than herself, Kaila couldn't help believing they'd both been dealt a cruel hand by fate.

Hands which were now being revealed.

"Where did you find your bravery to challenge Kaine Zambrano?"

"Ah..."

A question so many had asked her of late, even if phrased in prettier terms now. She turned to the moon above, trying to find the right words. But no matter how she framed it, The tale of her betrayal and it's beginnings was never a thing of glory nor triumph. It was simply necessary, even if foolish, as so many had reminded her.

Except for Quinn's praise that night on Echnos.

"Hate."

"Revelation, I suppose."

Her gaze narrowed on the stars, as if somehow they might make her understand why it had happened to her.

"Erasing my memories was hardly the cruelest thing I've endured at His hand, but that discovery was the final nail in the coffin of my loyalty."

"I was done being a slave whom He threatened to discard, as He had done so many apprentices before me."

"Oft by my hand." she squeezed her eyes shut.

Most had betrayed her, beginning the long and cabalistic cycle of distrust and elimination which had seen her evolve to hunt her own kind. But there were a few, in the beginning as she recalled, who deserved so much better.

"I didn't choose to become sith."

"And I... I hope you understand how rare this experience is for me, to simply... talk to my fellow imperials, let alone trust. You may not think so highly of what you've given, but it's the little things, Quinn."

"Always the little things."

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kaila Irons //:
//: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds //:
//: Attire //:

Quinn listened quietly to Kaila's answer. She had always known Kaine was brutal in His training, but she had never realized how brutal He was. From the sounds of it, He had a revolving door of students vying for His attention and wanting His power. Unlike Kaila, Quinn only knew Kaine as a figure who offered His will freely. All of this was a brutal reminder of her status compared to others. Memories of the Zambranos were positive, and she only knew of them as allies. Never could she have imagined the brutality that Kaila experienced.

Even so, it was hard to believe that the cultists of the Kainite believed in slavery. Meeting Kirie and Kaila had turned Quinn's outlook upside down. As the conversation grew darker, Quinn waited till Kaila finished; hearing everything saddened her. Reaching over, her gentle touch caressed Kaila's cheek and jawline once again, guiding the woman to her lips. At that moment, a soft and comforting kiss was all she could think of doing. Pulling away slightly, she kissed the girl's forehead and rubbed her back.

"Thank you for sharing that with me. In most cases, people would lie - knowing my familial connections, people constantly tell me how amazing my uncle is; at one point, I would have married into the Zambranos - after learning the things He's done, I don't know if I would have" Quinn thought quietly of Vesta, her heart sinking wondering if she could have pulled the woman away from the brutality of the Zambranos. Maybe she wouldn't have cared back then because she wanted happiness with the person she loved.

Looking down at her feet, she let Kaila's words hang in her mind. She had become a Sith, not by choice. Quinn didn't view alignment as something you couldn't choose. The concept didn't make sense to her; she glanced back at Kaila, "Then don't." She tilted her head to the side as she shrugged. "If you don't want to be Sith, you don't have to be." Quinn didn't know what more to say, "I'm not Sith - the absolute nature of the Sith isn't something I can fully put my heart into. I prefer to remain balanced - because even the Jedi are misguided. Both sides' teachings are focused on telling someone how to feel or live." Her gaze fell back to her feet.

"I have enough people controlling my life, and I don't need a rigid slab of rules telling me how to live. The Force's will doesn't lean dark or light - it just is." Another shrug from the Princess as she felt her nerves kicking in. She had never revealed her true belief when it came to the Force.

She wondered if it was because of how she was created. The Princess knew she wouldn't exist without the Force, which may be why she understood its most genuine desires.

 

[Kaila Irons]

Location: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds
Wearing: Dress
Tag: Quinn Varanin

Kaila found herself slowly pulled to the princess once more, drawn in, even. It was such a simple gesture, and yet Quinn's lips spoke soundless volumes, each genuine and thoughtful in ways the young Darth unused to.

She leaned into Quinn, resting her head against her shoulder again, listening carefully to her every word. It felt... strange, knowing that one who made her feel so alive and content to be so had very nearly taken the name of her greatest enemy, or so she would have called Him not long ago. With her promise to Gerwald and to Srina, who knows what pride and rage she might sacrifice soon.

More was revealed soon, and it too was cause for careful consideration.

"Then don't." She tilted her head to the side as she shrugged. "If you don't want to be Sith, you don't have to be."

Kaila quirked a brow curiously, only now recalling the peculiar yet gentle powers Quinn had summoned to heal time and time again, and how the act conflicted greatly with her understanding of dark side healing.

Interestingly, it forced the young Darth to reconsider her knowledge of alignment, having once believed that the dark side only grew in power when separated from the light, and yet the echani had demonstrated a great and dark power in the skies of Echnos, despite her gentler nature. Perhaps then it was truly possible to practice both arts, and Kaila had actually sabotaged her self-education despite numerous opportunities to learn from more than one source.

How curious.

"I have enough people controlling my life, and I don't need a rigid slab of rules telling me how to live. The Force's will doesn't lean dark or light - it just is."

To this however, Kaila's gaze began to drift in a distant, guilty stare.

In Kaila's need for hate, she had found herself developing a most curious understanding of the force and it's tendency to influence fate. She believed with manufactured zeal that the light was it's will, and the dark side merely a corruption which the sith may use to combat the fates. Kaila remained a sith not only because she had nowhere else to be, but because the dark side was her only path to destruction.

Destruction of the very force which wronged her, and so many cast upon the tides of fate.

But she would not fault Quinn for believing otherwise, not when Kaila seemed at times the first and only believer in her own crusade.

"It's all I know now." she answered with a shrug of her own.

It occurred to her however that Quinn was indeed fighting fate just as she, only it was not a mystical force trying to command a will not it's own, but rather someone.

"You said someone is controlling your life..."

"Who?" she hummed worriedly.

She understood that a junior royal had many duties and were often as much pawns as those below their station, but so far from Eshan, Kaila had assumed that Quinn had already escaped such arrangements. But Kaila had made many assumptions it seemed, many of which were already disproven.

"Will you be okay, Quinn? Do you want help?"

​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kaila Irons //:
//: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds //:
//: Attire //:

Quinn was taken by surprise. She blinked, not understanding where the urgency was coming from. Kaila was worried; Quinn could feel the emotions bleeding off of her. Thinking, the Princess reflected on what she had said - trying to understand where she could have confused the Governor. She suddenly realized the problem, and Quinn chuckled softly. "No one is directly controlling me," she reassured the woman, a hand resting on her lover's thigh. Giving Kaila's leg a squeeze, she shook her head. "What I was talking about was being born into my family." Quinn half smiled as she thought about her youth and the trials she had to endure.

"It's nothing compared to your life, and I'm even embarrassed to feel how I deal with the things I have dealt with." Quinn inhaled deeply, knowing that keeping this information quiet was better for the both of them, but it could make her feel better. "My mother was the Empress of the 8th Sith Empire. She had taken it from Emperor Moridin, a man who lived by the billions of souls he had drained and enslaved to his influence." Moridin had been a horrid figure in Sith's history, a man who abandoned humanity to devour and absorb the living of Byss. "Power was the only thing he cared about, and he hunted for more; my mother, Ash- Darth Desimous, organized a coup with other Sith. If I remember correctly, Kaine Zambrano was a part of it." Quinn laughed and scratched her head, "I'm terrible with history."

"Anyways, so they fought Moridin, I think I killed him, and then my mother took the throne with my birth mother as her First Apprentice - it was to keep her safe. The Empress figured it would be better than naming her Empress Consort. They built up the Empire, and it prospered for the most part - in the same fit of years, my birth mother became the Queen of Eshan. She helped bring the Echani into the new era of the galaxy. Because of all these amazing things they had done, there was a lot of pressure to live up to."

Quinn groaned, feeling like she was talking too much and practically bragging that her parents were powerful. She pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to figure out how to get to the point.

"Basically, I'm third in line. My eldest sister is off helping run the Dark Empire or whatever they call themselves; my twin sister is ruling Eshan, and then there's me." Quinn shook her head gently and felt even stupider telling this story of her pathetic frustrations. "The only thing I could do is marry politically, wait for my sister to get killed, or decide she doesn't want to rule anymore. I had to be something more than my parents expected to get any attention."

Shaking her head, she said, "So I tried everything to impress them, everything they tell me to do. I tried, failed, and then was given another task. Everything was controlled to make sure whatever I did support Noelle and her rise to the throne. And then, to make sure the Alliance accepted Eshan, I was shipped off because I wasn't perfect in the light - I didn't believe in the way Noelle believed the Force."

Quinn laughed and looked to the ground. "It's stupid now that I say it out loud. Maybe it's not someone controlling me; maybe it's me wanting to control everything around me so that I was important, I honestly don't even know why I said all that."

 

[Kaila Irons]

Location: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds
Wearing: Dress
Tag: Quinn Varanin

Kaila stirred with curiosity and surprise as if child being read a bedtime story, looking up at Quinn with wide eyes at every turn. The eleventh sith empire's youngest Darth hardly understood the concept of family now, lacking both experience and comparison with which she might relate to the princess. But legacy? Expectation? that she understood.

The child of a sith empress, the dutiful sister of a queen, the black sheep of a family which had turned it's back on their darker histories, now something of an exile living among sith.

Quinn Varanin was a lot of things. Most unfortunate, but never unimportant.

Kaila sat upright, squeezing the princess' shoulder gently. It was difficult to find the words as she frowned in understanding, perhaps not of her circumstances, which fell beyond the scope of Kaila's own experience, but of that empty feeling they left behind.

"You have a strange and complicated family, Quinn." she sighed, pained on her behalf.

"I might not understand family... but I understand expectation. I understand pain."

"I can hear pain... even in the words you leave unsaid."

Kaila would shift her seating so that she may face Quinn entirely, unable to hide her own face nor glance away, unable to run from whatever she might be feeling for the princess in that moment. This was about the echani now, and she deserved better than what the young Darth's comfort zone might normally allow.

"I did not see it at first, but like all who call these lands home, you too have chains you must break, sith or not."

"Perhaps your coming here might be an opportunity...?"

She smiled softly, reaching out to caress her lover's cheek, despite the worrisome thoughts swirling around them both.

"I wonder if in their absence, it is not they to whom you are trying to prove something, but yourself...? This is a land of ambitions, Quinn, and I think you will agree that it is better to serve one's own than another's. You could build something of your own here, damn succession and damn the birthrights, you are stronger than they give you credit for and it is here that the strong rule."

"But with a heart so gentle, perhaps you might also show them that which our empire lacks. Find that missing piece which sith and jedi have lost."

​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kaila Irons //:
//: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds //:
//: Attire //:

It was adorable, Kaila's attempts to make Quinn feel better. The thought was what mattered in this sense. Quinn had faced these feelings for as long as she could remember. Her schooling and life were filled with what she was required to do and how it reflected on those who mattered. Boiling down to the Alliance, Eshan is absorbed into its sphere of influence. The Jedi were ruthless to anyone with any affinity to the dark side. Her life on Eshan changed as she was sent to Bastion and the Empire.

"I appreciate the kindness. I've grown used to this, so it doesn't make me as sad anymore. I do miss how my life was. When I was on Eshan, there wasn't really anything I had to care about." Quinn smiled through the gathering tears. She hated crying in front of people; she didn't deserve the sympathy that they invoked in people. The life of a Princess was blessed even when it didn't feel like it.

"I'm fine, really," She smiled, catching Kaila between words. The strength to hold anything back faltered momentarily as the warmth of the Darth's palm touched her cheek. Comfort radiated from her touch, which Quinn sought in many others. One tear fell, catching against Kaila's thumb and rolling into oblivion. No more tears fell as she held them, keeping her unstained face pure.

"Your positivity is welcomed," Quinn laughed. "Who knew a Sith Governor had such a kind heart?" Her hand held Kaila gently against her face, then slowly removed it, kissing away the dampness her tear had left. "Here I thought you didn't like me," The Princess smirked, teasing the blonde woman. Quinn wasn't good at going too deep into her feelings. Sometimes, she wondered if people cared; the only other time she ever did this was on Alvaria.

He tried—he really did—to understand her, but his heart and concerns were his own. Quinn believed he was only trying to show her he understood her plight by using his as an example.

He tried.

Releasing Kaila's hand, Quinn pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed it at the corner of her eyes, hoping that the moment wouldn't ruin any of her makeup. It would be a travesty if her face was marred by pointless tears. Quinn cleared her throat. Getting to know each other was quite heavy on her heart, and she needed a small subject change.

"Onto a lighter topic, why were you single when we hooked up Govenor?" Playful Quinn grinned and lightly draped and dragged her silken handkerchief over the woman's face. Leaning in, she lowered her voice to a soft whisper as if to tell a secret, "Or was I the other woman?" She mused, hoping for not the latter, but it was better than deep-diving her painful childhood.

 

[Kaila Irons]

Location: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds
Wearing: Dress
Tag: Quinn Varanin

Kaila gave her a little smile, but she knew Quinn was hurting more than she let on, even before the tear.

And that her own words hadn't the desired effect. Truth be told, the young vahla hybrid was hardly surprised, believing that she had no way with words. Lightsabers and dead languages came naturally to her, and perhaps it was her narrow focus on these things which had sabotaged her skills with people.

In another time she would have been happy to change the subject, even if she'd rather than Quinn was comfortable first, however the topic at hand was perhaps not something either of them had expected to draw such emotion out of the warriors-sorceress. Nevertheless, Kaila's lips pursed, and her molten eyes widened some.

She turned to face the grass again, unsure how to answer for a time.

"Because I..."

Kaila sighed after awhile.

"I made the mistake of believing that a sith and a jedi could..."

"But I was stupid. I pinned my hopes and dreams on being someone else, thought If I pretended hard enough, that I could be who she believed I could be. I really thought she was the one..."

"And then she left." Her Ala, her light, left.

She squeezed her eyes shut, but the tears came anyway, long streaks down her cheek, hitting the grass below. But Kaila had been here so many times already, and so if one had not seen it with their own eyes, not even her voice would betray those feelings.

"They always do, in the end."

She sighed again, but this time her breath shook.

"I've fallen asleep in so many arms... men, women, those who fall somewhere between. And I have tried to give me heart to most of them, to no avail. They leave, they betray, they... die."

"I just want someone to care as much as I do."​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kaila Irons //:
//: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds //:
//: Attire //:

Quinn realized her mistake in asking this question. She hoped to make the conversation light and steer it into a different one. The heaviness of the previous conversation about the Princess' family life and duties was a bit much for her. All she could do was listen and comfort the woman beside her. This Jedi seemed to have broken Kaila's heart more than she might have realized. Suddenly disappearing was worse than watching your love die. At least then, there was a closure.

It was something she had over Kaila; she always had closure in her relationships, even with Sylvia. Quinn listened and let the woman say everything she needed. Whoever this Jedi was, she meant a lot to Kaila. Quinn wondered if she could fill that void. Quinn slid off the stone wall and stood in front of Kaila. She could see the stains of tears on her face glistening in the lights and the Jutrand moon.

"Hey, it's her loss." Quinn smiled as she reached forward and cupped Kaila's face gently, her thumbs caressing gently, catching the tears. "Don't cry; she and all the others aren't worth your tears." Smiling, Quinn kissed the woman's forehead and kept cupping her face. In the moonlight, Quinn could see one of her favorite features of the woman scattered across her cheeks and nose: her freckles.

Smiling, the Princess did her best to comfort the Governor. "I'm not going anywhere; you're not alone or anything like that. I'll always be here for you." Quinn kissed the woman softly and pulled back. "You're in my arms, and I don't want to let go." Slowly, Quinn hugged the woman tightly, a hand rubbing her back gently, hoping to comfort her. Sadness and pain rolled off the Darth, and Quinn allowed herself to feel it. Kaila seemed searching for something simple, and Quinn felt almost a kinship with her.

"I care about you, and I enjoy your presence around me quite a lot. I hope you feel the same way and that you can find some happiness with me." Quinn still protected her heart; unlike Kaila, she didn't have the bravery to let herself love again. Even though her heart had only belonged to a couple of people, the burden of their encounters was far too much.

Feeling them both die, something she never wanted to feel again.

 

[Kaila Irons]

Location: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds
Wearing: Dress
Tag: Quinn Varanin

"Hey, it's her loss."

Kaila half chuckled, half scoffed. Perhaps Quinn was right, she knew that was a possibility even if she still loved Ala in her own way. But she'd heard those words so many times already, and the fact that this had become something of a routine was not a comforting revelation.

Quinn's touch however, was.

She opened her tired eyes, pale gold having lost a bit of it's fire, a rare glimpse of the silver beneath.

"I'm not going anywhere;

These too were words she'd heard before, though they held deeper meaning to the young Darth, for they were rare indeed. Serina Calis was the first to say such things far as she recalled, the culmination of a peculiar but deep bond between the two sisters in arms. It meant as much to her now as it did then.

Kaila sniffled whilst wrapping her arms around the princess, holding on much tighter than before, jaw resting upon the echani's shoulder when their kiss had completed. Tears were allowed to come naturally now, like the debris of her inner walls.

"And to think..." she laughed through the tears "that I used to think you were just some noble."

Kaila held on just a little tighter, as if to apologize.

"...you're so much more, especially to me."

She pulled back after a time, wiping the tears away with her bare hand, something which felt so foreign to her. Not the tears themselves, but rather, allowing another to see the state she was in. Or that grateful, yet desperate look in her eye.

"I hope you know that if you ever have need of me, I'll be there. You have but to call, or knock."

"Or don't...?" she smiled, trying to lighten the mood before her heart could rend further.

"I think the guards gave up stopping you long ago."

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kaila Irons //:
//: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds //:
//: Attire //:

Quinn mused while listening to Kaila talk about the guards and how her original thoughts about the Princess were wrong. Pulling away slightly, Quinn touched Kaila's lips, "I'm a royal; I'm better than a silly noble." Quinn teased gently, remembering when she corrected the woman on the same thing. Her heart broke for the woman, having an understanding of the pain Kaila was feeling.

Seeing all the tell-tale signs, Quinn felt emotions were still tied to the Jedi. It was hard to turn off feelings that were strong for someone, especially if you wanted them to be the one deep down. There was a time Quinn had hoped someone was like that, but due to their own emotional ties - it ended and faded away. The Princess didn't like to think about it; she knew it only made her wish for the past, and she knew she needed to find a way to move on.

Kaila rubbed her tears away. Quinn let her do what she needed to do and instead rubbed her back the best she could. Grinning, Quinn playfully teased, "Your guards are smart." She remembered the look on their faces during her last visit. They had an interesting front-row seat to something chaotic.

As much as Quinn didn't want to think about it, something ate away at her. Her biggest fear now was that if this Jedi decided to return, she would lose Kaila in the process. It was another reason she built the walls around her already broken heart. Quinn knew Kaila could fix her and let her find love again. Would she be setting herself up for failure again? Sighing softly, the Echani tried to not think about the what-ifs and the could've been. They only broke her heart and justified her defending her heart.

"Trust me, you haven't seen the last of me barging into your office. Kind of a trademark thing of mine." Quinn laughed as helped wipe away Kaila's tears. "Sorry about opening up that can of worms, I didn't realize it was something so painful." The Princess smiled shyly, she was a bit embarrassed for making the Govorner cry.

"I hate that I made you cry; forgive me?"

 

[Kaila Irons]

Location: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds
Wearing: Dress
Tag: Quinn Varanin

Kaila stifled a chuckle at Quinn's familiar correction. Not a noble, but better.

The governor wouldn't say it aloud but what she actually meant was annoying. But the princess, it seemed, was easily acquired taste, or perhaps more accurately an addiction. Kaila wondered just how far she might go to get her fix of that soothing smile or that warm touch. That feeling should have scared her, as it did when she last felt it in Ala's presence, knowing that it was a deceptively pleasant but ill omen of an attachment feared by Jedi and Sith alike.

But how could she say no to a smile like that...?

"Trust me, you haven't seen the last of me barging into your office. Kind of a trademark thing of mine."

Kaila chuckled softly, carefully taking the hand which had cleaned her of tears.

"I've grown accustomed to it, princess."

She kissed the back of her hand.

"I hate that I made you cry; forgive me?"

Her instinctual thought was to remind the princess that she was not the one to break her heart, however as she leaned forward to speak the words, her lips ceased to move. In a moment, they'd formed a thin little smile that bordered on fiendish as Kaila recalled their first kiss.

"That depends..." she began smugly.

"...what will forgiveness buy me?"

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kaila Irons //:
//: Jutrand, Eternalist chapel grounds //:
//: Attire //:

The Governor spoke the Echani Princess' language, and each moment between them made Quinn cherish the woman more. She couldn't help but smile, watching Kaila gently kiss the back of her hand. Even now, through her sadness, the blonde showed gentleness to the Princess. Quinn caught her breath as her gaze took in the sight of the woman in the moonlight. She felt a sudden tightness in her chest as her heart raced, and just for a moment, upon hearing Kaila's words - Quinn was speechless.

Gathering her composure, Quinn returned the devilish grin to the woman and leaned forward. Whispering gently, she brought her lips close to her precious Governor's. "Everything." Before the other woman could answer, the Echani pressed their lips together. Wanting to erase all the pain that Kaila had felt from others. If only Quinn could make up for the shortcomings of others with just one kiss or one moment. Everything would be easier, but despite her desires, the Princess knew she wasn't enough to fix the past.

Even though she couldn't be everything Kaila needed, Quinn could be potentially something. All the Echani knew was that the only one she desired now was Kaila. Quinn leaned further in, refusing to stop the kiss, not even to catch her breath.

Quinn broke the kiss and remained close, letting her lips trail along Kaila's neck before sighing and restraining herself. "Probably not a good idea to continue." Pulling back further, her flushed cheeks glowed, illuminated by the moonlight. "Imagine the tabloids, Governor of Echnos, and Eshan Princess have a tryst outside of an Eternalist Chapel - Jutrand." Quinn laughed and smiled.

"I've really liked talking about stuff with you tonight; I haven't been able to open up to someone in a long time. You're really special to me Kaila."