Moving On

[Elijah Black]

In the years since the fall of the Republic, Zylah had referred to herself as a Jedi without a home. While she had roamed the galaxy, true to the Jedi ideals but without affiliation to any specific order after her own seemingly had disbanded, she did need somewhere to rest her head. That had become Ithor. The lush planet with few traces of civilisation seemed the perfect place to disappear and lay low. Yet somehow the presence of what she could only assume to be the ruins of an ancient Jedi temple had escaped her notice. That was where she had travelled to now.

The place bore heavy the burdens of time and neglect. The place looked run-down. Rocks misplaced, entire sections seemed to have collapsed. The foundation and base structure remained, but it was but a shell of what it once had been. Nature had caught up with it, and trees, leaves and branches grew in, on and around the temple. Abandoned, yes, but to her it also seemed undeniably peaceful. It was here she had time to reflect on the state of her life, the past years, and how she would like to go on forwards. Zylah attempted to the best of her ability to rid herself of any sense of regret. Past was past, only the future lay ready and malleable in the palm of her hands. If there was one thing she would like to change for the future, it was this; she didn't want to be alone.

When it came to reaching out to people, it should come as no surprise that the first on her list would have been [member="Kaia Vullen"]. The bright and bubbly Miraluka had been her closest friend since her Padawan days, and nothing had changed. Well, except for them growing up. While both Jedi, the paths they thread differed, and so much to her regret they did not see each other as much as Zylah would have liked. What was even more sad was that after Kaia, Zylah could think of no one else to contact. The sad truth was that over the years Zylah had been so consumed with training to be the best Jedi she could be, with hunting the Sith and frustrating their plans that her list of acquaintances stopped here. There was her former master of course... But she was gone with the wind, and no one knew where she was. All she could do was hope that wherever she was, the Force was with her, and she was happy.

 

[Elijah Black]

Recent times had been turbulent for Zylah. For once the cause of it was not a great tug of war against the Sith, but rather against her own mind. It was undeniable that she still carried the baggage of the Republic’s collapse. One way or another, to move forwards, she had to find a way to bury it. She thought she had, but as it would turn out, this was but an illusion. An illusion made clear as once more her faith had let her down.

At last she had found herself a Jedi Order to call home. They had accepted her and she them. They had even put her name forward and placed her on the Jedi Council. Now that had been quite the shock to the young Jedi Knight who had yet to nurture and guide her own Padawan.

In the end, Zylah had allowed herself to believe, to become attached. This confederation of Jedi too had collapsed, and like a painful déjà vu, the Jedi had scattered to the winds and gone their separate ways. Her faith in a solidified order had been raised only to be smashed again. Who knew if she would ever recover. She still had her homestead on Ithor, her associates like Herron Sarat, but even so she could not help but feel lonely. It was a dark, heavy emotion. Suppressing it and pretending it was not there would only do so much. She had to place it out in the open and confront it to truly be free of its weight.

It would have been easy to feel abandoned and become bitter over it. Yet that was not the whole truth, and thankfully she knew it. There was always more to be done, things that could have changed her situation, things to learn from in the future. She did not think this way to blame herself or bring her down, but rather to reassure herself that the future was still in motion. As long as it was within her power to change it, all the past could do was teach her how to be better. As best as she could, Zylah rejected the notion of regret.

Whatever emptiness resided in her, the Force was with her, always.

 

[Elijah Black]

Perhaps it really was that simple. Her loneliness had become her weakness, and she had through a need for companionship desperately clinged on and assigned too high a value on the Jedi Order and its member. She had needed it to work. She had needed it to be something which it was not.

This too became too easy a way out. There was more to this than what could be simply assigned to one emotion alone. To dismiss it as such would be to live in denial, and no true growth could come from that.

Zylah wandered deeper into the temple, her footsteps echoing through the empty halls. Nature had found its way even here, in-between rock and stone. Weeds of green, vines and branches curled their way through the cracks. It made her smile.

The minor plantlife probably added to the sense that this place felt alive, somehow. The Force was ever present. Perhaps what she felt were echoes of the past. While it looked quite run-down now, this had once been a place of great learning and knowledge.

Zylah couldn’t help but wonder what sorts of lessons had taken place here. How were the masters? How were the padawans, and what had become of them all? Would she recognise any of their names from her own lessons in Jedi history? Her own memories flourished, as images flashed before her of her own time as a Jedi Padawan on Ossus. Those were the days.

Her eyes flashed open and she turned to look over her shoulder. What she found was what to be expected. Empty halls and darkness. But there had been a sound. Was anyone there?

 

[Elijah Black]

Zylah moved into deeper into the old and abandoned structure. It started as a curiosity, a strong sense of ‘but what if’ driving her to pursue the sound, that she was not entirely sure had ever existed out of her head at all. But then suspicion turning into a growing hunch. It wasn’t that there were more sounds, but when searching through the Force something felt… Off. And she couldn’t quite define the anomaly.

Then there was no doubt. A rock fell out of place. Rushed footsteps. The faint sound of distant breathing. Someone was there! “Hello?” Zylah paused. For a moment there was complete silence. Then a sound that as a Jedi, Zylah had grown very familiar with. Someone was running away!

Zylah gave chase, breaking out into a full sprint. The chase was most certainly on, and whoever was on the other end of it did not want to get caught. It became a game of stamina, as Zylah was unable to catch up but the stranger was equally unable to shake her off. If only the Force could provide a dead end right about now…

In a typical sort of ‘careful what you wish for moment’, Zylah finally came into a large, wide area, that possibly had been the temple’s training grounds. To be frank, all the running had had her lose track of where she was going and where she had come from. Though they were on the same planet, this was the first time she had been here and she was entirely unfamiliar.

The figure had stopped, and was waiting for her.

 

[Elijah Black]

Perhaps she was at a disadvantage after all. In front of her stood a hooded figure, head tilted in such a way that no light revealed any hints of the person’s facial features. White robes with a sort of golden embroidery on its edges and down the center.

“Who are you?” it was the generic clichê question that had to be asked. The individual tilted its head but said nothing. The change of posture revealed a beautiful silver mask upon its face, neatly decorated. It looked more ceremonial than functional, but Zylah did not linger on that now.

Conversation didn’t seem to be on the agenda as the person ignited a golden lightsaber. After a moment’s pause, it was joined by the hum of another blade. Double-bladed lightsaber. Well this was going to be awkward and interesting at the same time.

“Wait, there is no-” need? Yes there was. The person came flying towards Zylah in a flurry of blades that might’ve intimidated those without the proper training. Zylah, however, had the proper training. She stood her ground, ignited her blade in just the right time and blocked an incoming blow at its predicted destination.

“Ever dance with the devil, little Padawan?” She had heard that line before.

 

[Elijah Black]

“Welcome to my web, little Jedi.” What in the Force was going on? Zylah felt stunned, her mind paralyzed and unable to unwrap what she was being presented with. Those words. That voice…

Zylah, while normally actively being the aggressor was forced on the defense. It was not her forte, and she felt the pressure mounting with rapid intensity yet her mind struggled to keep up and combat it.

“I sense the conflict in you. How unlike a true Jedi. Are you sure that’s your bona fide calling?” memories, images flashed before her eyes and it was as if the fight no longer was taken place inside of an abandoned Jedi temple, but rather, on the wastes of Ruusan.

She had already fallen that day. That’s what it had felt like. If not for Taeli Raaf’s intervention, would that have been the end?

“But I haven’t come here to taunt you, oh no. That would be foolish and a waste of time. No, I have come to allow you the insight to unshackle yourself from your chains of obedience. For they are chains and when has a chain ever done anything but make you a slave?”

History was repeating itself. And there would be no Taeli to save her this time.

 

[Elijah Black]

The clash of blades echoed through the open field outside of the Ruusan Jedi temple. “Have you learned nothing since we last met?” Zylah tried to counter, though her blade was immediately slapped to the side and she was forced to flip backwards to get out of her opponent’s reach. Yet as soon as she landed, the enemy was upon her once more and she had to fight for her life to survive.

“I already told you. Your natural instincts are more Sith than Jedi.” she could feel the vicious grin burning through the mask and onto her very soul. “That is good, that is right. Give in to those feelings - they are natural after all. They are your feelings” at this point Zylah wasn’t even sure if she was talking. There was no trace of exhaustion or even trouble combining fighting and talking. The voice was in her head, constantly, distracting while its host put her under immense pressure.

“And your spirit is something to be admired. To be nurtured and fed, not shackled and repressed”

“No” Zylah finally found it within herself to offer an answer. Apparently, her voice was deemed too weak as the cackling response that came was a dismissive “Are you gonna cry again? Is it because you know I’m right?”

 

[Elijah Black]

It was so long ago. The shock of it all had taken her way back, taken her back into the mind of the Padawan who encountered Dun Moch for the first time. Given the circumstances, it was no wonder she had struggled. But that was many years ago now. She had grown, truly grown. And she knew that.

The same negative thought patterns and over-analysations were triggered within her. That hadn’t stopped. What had changed was her ability to recognise them and identify them as negative and unproductive. Most importantly, she understood finally that they were not true.

It did not help that after having felt abandoned and alone for so long, the piece that came back was the dark side of the one she had held most dear to herself, who she had trusted and confided in the most. But it did not matter. Zylah was her own choices. She shaped her own reality, her own path. Consequences of one's actions was something everyone had to come to terms with. They were not her burden to bear. All she could do was guide herself. “I am a Jedi."

“I suggest you prepare to face one. And you may wish to consider what that means” the blades clashed once more, but rather than passively be the receptor of an onslaught of attacks, Zylah met them with her own. For seconds they were practically duking it out, in a dangerous and aggressive flurry of four blades that made it look like there were twice as many. The two combatants broke off, and finally there was a space between them, a break in their engagement.

“You may cling to those words, but you cannot follow through. Or have you forgotten? You cannot kill me. You could not then, and nothing has changed. This is still a lose lose situation for you, a moral dilemma I want you to suffer”

“Your life is your own.” Zylah’s calm manner and response seemed to frustrate the other woman. Although her face was hidden, her body-language revealed as much. “What becomes of you now is for the Force to decide.” It was not her task to be a judge. All she was was a Jedi. Nothing less, nothing more.

 

[Elijah Black]

When the pair clashed again, she knew it would be the last one. One of them would face defeat. One of them would live. It was the way of the Force, it was the way of life. It was not for her to decide or alter, but instead render unto the Force what was of the Force. There is no death, only

This time there was no fear, no hesitation, no unwillingness to commit to battle fully. Once a Jedi drew her blade she must be prepared to kill. Zylah was. Display a forray of sequences the trademark of Ataru, Zylah took the lead for the first time, spinning both blades and combining them flawlessly with acrobatics. Her physique, her mastery of the blade as well as the Force made her a deadly opponent. Her mind was empty save for the battle. Her aura was serene.

Now it was her demon of the past who began to falter.

Blades locked, pushed, parried. It wasn’t enough that she took care of one, Zylah had many teeth and two blades. One was parried, the other followed through. Her strike was blocked. Knowing where one blade was you immediately knew where the other was as well. That was the trick. Yet it was a false sense of security even that. Out of nowhere, although both of Zylah’s blades were accounted for, her elbow had moved within reach and shattered against her opponent’s face, leaving cracks in the helmet.

Her enemy staggered but Zylah did not relent. She followed up with a strike, a feint which was redirected at the last moment. The hilt of the Sith’s blade was carved in half. It was not over yet, but certainly it was the beginning of the end. The other woman tried to defend herself as best as she could, and lasted another set of sequences. But then the inevitable happened, a straight stab of the opposing blade managed to carve its way into her stomach, the other followed back around with a diagonal slash across the torso. It was over.

 

[Elijah Black]

Her enemy collapsed before her. Zylah did not need to demask her, as it seemed to evaporate before her very eyes. She had already figured out the identity long ago of course, and watched as it revealed the face of Mel-wait, that wasn’t her!

The face was her own, a perfect copy of Zylah Dvale, the Arkanian Offshoot Jedi. She looked younger, however. Zylah was now pushing towards her thirties, this one couldn’t have been more than early twenties.

The shock of it all gripped her again, and she was left with nothing but confusion. Had it all been a dream? She was no longer fighting on Ruusan, that much was clear. Although she knew she must still be in the temple on Ithor, she no longer recognised which room she was in or how she had gotten there.

Deep within the long abandoned building, she would have expected it to be colder. It had been, certainly. Yet now she felt a certain warmth. It was something she could not quite explain. Beyond this room there was a deep, blue light, and a faint humming that only could be heard through the Force. Zylah followed it.

Behind her the corpse of her opponent had completely evaporated, leaving no trace of their duel.

 

[Elijah Black]

As Zylah drew closer to the source, she herself felt lighter. Her worries and fears taken away. It wasn’t the result of one thing, or even the temple itself. Zylah understood that it was her own actions. She had understood something deep about herself, and it had allowed her to see herself from an outside perspective. Final pieces of puzzles started long ago started falling into place. The young woman felt at peace, and closer to the Force than she had ever been.

The light in the other room came from a pair of old, dusty Jedi robes. There were no bones or other remains, but a strong gut feeling told her that it was the final resting place of a Jedi who had left to become one with the Force.

There was something within the robe. For some reason Zylah already felt like she knew before she could see. Reaching out to it with the Force, it responded, and floated up and towards her. How it had gotten here, where it had been before, all were questions unanswered yet questions that needed none. It was not her business nor information that would serve any function. Instead she trusted the Force and the string of actions that had led her to this moment.

The holocron floated towards her, casting its blue light upon the walls and Zylah, before nestling itself neatly in the palm of her hand.

Right then she knew what she had to do. This was the holocron of the former Jedi Grandmaster, Master Satele Shan. Within she knew she would find the wisdom she needed to deal with the struggles of the contemporary world, its many Jedi Orders that rose and fell on a whim.

Perhaps the answers were not so deeply entrenched in the present as she had thought. Perhaps the answers were not in front of her, but behind. Perhaps it was time to look to the Jedi Masters of the past for guidance. Reassured and reinvigorated by this knowledge, Zylah left the temple feeling lighter, leaving her concerns and emotional baggage behind, and stepping outside again and into the light one holocron richer.