Private Moving Pieces

[Acaadi]

The atmosphere in the academy was oddly muted. Acaadi didn't pay that too much attention. He should have done.

His focus for some time had been to learn more control. To do more with less. Naturally gifted, his raw potential had outstripped his skill. Kyra had seen first hand how badly that has gone.

Some of his confidence had returned after Yurb. It wasn't the youthful exuberance that had been there before they had been caught by Sith. It was new, still fragile, but built on more solid foundations that what he had relied upon before.

His sensitivity allowed him to feel the flow of the Force as it fell into a calm pattern around a familiar prescence. Kyra Perl was reaching out into the Force again, finding her center.

Acaadi turned into a side corridor and found a row of quiet training rooms. He found her room. She was kneeling in the middle of the floor. As quietly as possible, he stepped across the floor to sit down in front of her. It amused him to see her actually managing to calm her mind for more than a few seconds at a time. He resisted the urge to say 'boo'. For now.

 

[Kyra Perl]

The sliding door to the outside was open, letting the soft forest light filter in and warm the quiet space as Kyra tried to meditate. Caedyn had taught her how to do this, but it took more than simple understanding for an empath to shut out the world and fall into a state of tranquility. Unlike Acaadi, Kyra was not naturally inclined towards any of this. It was a heritage she now understood. The Starchasers historically all had a strange relationship with the force-- each resonating through one means of expression while struggling with all the rest.

Kyra's naturally inclination just happened to be particularly noisy.

But there were ways to overcome it.

Things she could do.

The Starchasers were not force stunted. Just... different. It helped to learn this history. It helped to be given tools by both father and master to help her push forward and find her connection to the force around her. It helped to finally understand-- to know herself. It all helped, but none of it made it easy. Kyra had to fight for every inch of progress she made, and today was no different.

Acaadia's amusement rippled over to her, shattering the feeble link to the force she had created. On her own. For once.

An eye creaked open, delivering onto him a wave of ire that only a Perl could.

"Shuddup," she bristled.

 

[Acaadi]

Acaadi visibly recoiled. A nervous smile formed on his face. He had expected to be admonished but there was an undercurrent to her emotions that made him pause. He didn't want to upset Kyra. It was something he could be quite good at from time to time without meaning to.

He opened his mouth to speak and closed it. He opened it again, canting his head to one side.

"Y..."

He closed his mouth again. Even if that one syllable revealed that he was going to ask a question. You're getting better at this?

Eventually he settled on sitting in silence and waiting to see what happened next. He couldn't even begin to guess at what had happened to Kyra.

 

[Kyra Perl]

His response spoke volumes. For a moment Kyra could see herself through his eyes. Coiled. Tense. Likely to explode at any point.

She wasn't sure she liked seeing her friend be he... hesitant around her, but she couldn't make herself unwind from her tension either. Instead she sighed, her form dropping to a more relaxed pose as she stared down at her toes. Yeah, there was no way she was gonna be able to meditate again. Still, she sat in silence with him for near a minute, aware of his resolve to wait for an explanation ... but finding it hard to bring it to words.

He knew of the mission? Where they lost the grand master?

Her words fell out of her, unfeeling and factual.

"Nida fell. To the darkside. Nida is a sith."

 

[Acaadi]

"Oh," went Acaadi.

It took Acaadi a few moments to process what Kyra had told him and even longer to decide what to do. He was an only child. No siblings to worry about, or to run into on wild nights out. He had always known both of his parents and they had always been supportive of everything he did.

The mirialan decided he would never work out what to say. He had come to pester Kyra, to try and tease and make her laugh. He should have recognised from the way the Force moved around her that it was the wrong thing to do.

He reached out with one hand, towards her good shoulder. A wave of sorrow emanated off of him, but also love and affection. Acaadi leaned closer, hoping that trying to hug her was the right thing to do.

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra leaned into him, like a tower of dominoes teetering precariously to one side... part by part she melted into him. The tenuous state of control she had over herself snapped, the grief she had been withholding melting out of her without warning. Tears slid down her face, a strangled groan pulling from her throat. And she cried-- Dirty, ugh, snotty cries as she griped as his shirt, his presence grounding him against the storm of pain that was her life.

One sister lost to the darkside. The other lost to a battle with death. Kyra couldn't access the words to tell him how much her life had fallen to pieces. She couldn't even hug him with both hands if she tried. The reality of the path they walked bore down on her, the naivety she had once possessed was shattered.

He would get flickering images of it, her memories slipping into the bound they shared as he held her inside her grief.

Nida, stabbing Thirdas.
The blood red knife.
The drowning, water in her lungs.
Romi's face, swirling inside a sea of pillows.
The beep of a heart rate monitor.
She grows weaker.
Alone.
In pain.
Progress to the arms is not being made like we had hoped.

She had thought she had seen rock bottom before, but in truth this wasn't it. She wouldn't let it be it. She was going to get better-- stronger, she couldn't let this be!

She couldn't let this be.

She made a horrible jedi.

 

[Acaadi]

With each revelation he felt his heart sink lower. It wasn't the raw kind of pain that dominated everything until you drowned in it. It was a heavy, uncomfortable feeling. One that pulled you down with it. He imagined it was like drowning itself.

The dark side had taken Nida. He and Kyra had shared an appreciation for its alluring nature. For him, it was a shortcut to the powers he sought. For Kyra, with her empathy, emotions tied to the Force was an open path to manipulation.

Acaadi sat back, drawing his hands up and over her shoulders. He placed a hand on each cheek, thumbs doing nothing more than smearing the tears across her skin as he tried to caress her.

He gave a solemn nod, meeting her eyes. "She may not be lost."

Understanding flowed back through that connection. If she wasn't, then Kyra needed to be as strong as she could ever be to have a hope of bringing her back. And if she was lost, then Kyra needed to be beyond the same temptations.

" What were you trying to do here?" he asked quietly. He had interrupted her flow, the least he could do was to try and help her find it again.

The very least, but perhaps most important, was to just be here. They always seemed to find one another at the worst of times.

 

[Kyra Perl]

No. She may not be lost. But she was hella far away and Kyra needed to be far better than she was to get to her. What could cause such a sudden change in her tender-hearted sister? She didn't understand.

She did not need to understand.

She just had to reach her.

Nida.

In the middle of sith space.

After stabbing the love of her life and willingly walking away with another sister.

Her heart ached at every reminder of what had occurred, the unfathomably of the change still raw. Something told Kyra this was going to be a lot harder of a task than she was ready for. She let out a shaky breath and straightened, looking down at her meditation mat.

"Master Caedyn told me that meditation unlocks great powers. Like-like the darkside does. If I'm going to go up against that I need- I need to master this." The basics. The damn girl needed to be able to shut up the world and do more than skim the force. She needed to become one with it. Her throat grew tighter, the task overwhelming.

"It'ssohard."

 

[Acaadi]

Acaadi felt the echo of that keen ache. They had lost people, they had failed. He had never had anyone so close ripped away from him. He couldn't imagine what she was going through.

"It's difficult and it's boring," Acaadi replied. If he found it dull then he imagined it was worse than watching paint dry for Kyra. He had been getting much better at it in the last few months.

Acaadi rocked back onto his haunches. He started to settle his own mind.

"Try breathing slow and deep. From down in the belly. I'll meditate too." Acaadi thought that if he started then at least the Force would be more settled in the room.

 

[Kyra Perl]

It felt a bit too late to try again, now that her chest hurt and her thoughts ran ahead of her. The tenuous calm had been shattered, and as per usual Kyra struggled to draw herself back from the chaos his presence had erupted. She would try though.

She was no longer willing to simply throw in a towel. Her new found resolve earned him a nod, the girl taking a deep breath and forcing her eyes closed. Silence grew between them, the subtle sound of rustling fabric filling the air as Kyra tried not to fidget. She just wasn't use to doing this with him; each time she managed to let go of her concern over her sister, his presence caught her attention. Her finger's twitched, the desire to reach out and touch him going ignored. It was how Caedyn had learned to ground her recently-- her sensitively was strongest skin to skin, and walking her through meditations with a literal guiding hand and been extremely successful in helping Kyra find the still of her thoughts on her own.

She preferred meditating like that, but Caedyn was no longer giving her that hand up. Which was why she was here alone today, and why she wanted to touch him.

Kyra swallowed hard, peeking at him through her lashes. ....Was he doing it?

 

[Acaadi]

The Force settled down, but it was like the ocean on a shore. It rose and fell, never going quite still. Acaadi opened his eyes and looked back at Kyra. He had already started to fall into a meditative state, but hadn't gone fully under.

It was not through any understanding of her particular need that he reached out towards her. At least not her immediately need. He didn't reach out because she needed skin to skin contact to meditate. He reached out because she was in a dark place and he thought touch could sooth her. Acaadi placed a hand on top of hers.

"I am here," he said simply.

 

[Kyra Perl]

Heat prickled along her skin, a sense of warmth spreading across her body as his hand enveloped hers. His presence silenced the static of the grounds, the subtle presence of their peers training leaving the background of her awareness as it became just him.

He was gentle. He was calm. He was safe.

...he was here. A subtle sense of gratitude left her, reaching him as she closed her eyes. She let out a heavy breath, directing her thoughts with more ease onto him. His energy reverberating softly through her, turning into a calm pool as he worked his way back into a state of tranquility.

She wasn't sure where the line was, where they crossed from aware and active, to still and zen. But he went went first and followed with him, their energies expanding as they merged with the force... and existed as such together.

With practice, came strength.

 

[Acaadi]

He didn't know exactly where she went in that state of reverie. Acaadi could feel the connection all the time. A constant anchor. When they were so immersed in the Force the way they each experienced it could not be the same.

"You're getting much better," he softly murmured, as the real world returned to him. It had always been there, but it was very different when perceived through the usual senses. He could feel his own heart rate steadily picking back up. He blinked slowly until everything came back into focus.

"You look like you could do with something to eat," he suggested.

 

[Kyra Perl]

On cue, her stomach growled.

Kyra opened her eyes, a dazed blink grounding her back on the moment. She looked thinner, more hallowed out. Eating had not come easily lately, her usual ravenous appetite lost to the stress of events. Today, her saliva glands overfilled at the suggestion. Turns out meditation made her hungry.

Though what didn't.

"Weird," she murmured, stretching out her hand and flexing away the weird tingles left behind from their connection and the receding force. "Do you feel like this all the time?" She stood up, slower and with less of the overflowing energy she was usually known to have. Grounded would be the term for her movements.

A bit more collected, and at peace.

She straightened her robes and shimmied on her shoes, following him down the hall. A final jam of her heel into her flats allowed her to straighten. Without a word, her hand slid into his, her fingers encircling his own.

“Pizza?”

 

[Acaadi]

"Pizza would be good," Acaadi replied.

The meditation left him in a blank state. Balanced, as if he had just woken in a perfectly calm way. For some long periods he had not been able to wake like that. Or a long period after he had been captured by a sith.

Into that blank vessel he felt a wamth as she took his hand. Not just took his hand, but carried on holding his hand as they stepped out. Into public. They were walking past other students like this.

Acaadi managed to resist ruining the moment by making a joke about it. He was getting better at not quite ruining moments by being stupid.

"And no I don't feel like that all the time. It's like...getting drawn off centre by everything that happens and its a good way to reset."

"Wanna get a big one and share?" he asked. He had a suspicion it would be risking losing a hand.

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra gave him a tentative smile, the action easier and more natural than she would have thought. Yanno. Given life. A stab of guilt tugged at her the moment she did so, the smile faltering and flickering away. Her grip grew clammy, but she didn't release him. She wasn't scared of what they'd think, she told herself, trying to drive her shoulders straighter. In a world that was upside down, his presence made everything feel okay. Her fingers twitched for a moment, then gripped a little tighter.

"With pineapple," she whispered, appreciating how he didn't linger. "And syrup." Her Zeltron taste buds and their affinity for sugar shone through, thought Acaadi would be more than familiar on that. Poignantly sweet or overly spicy: their food was as loud as their color preferences. He might not lose an arm, but a tooth...

"...Practice sparing with me afterwards?" She had always outdone him with the acrobatic side of saber practice. But now... Relearning left handed was a whole 'nother topic. It felt right to look to him for him. Like the old days.

Even though he was getting ready to move on without her.

 

[Acaadi]

"Syrup?" he asked incredulously. "You know what, we can have one each. I wouldn't want syrup come across over my cheese in a wave of tooth decay."

Acaadi laughed easily as he walked alongside her. He didn't mention the hand, but he did cast his eyes downward and offer a smile to let her know he appreciated it.

There was a place that had pizza they all tended to go to. It wasn't the best place, but it was the shortest walk from the training halls if you wanted pizza.

It only took a few moments for someone to escort them to a table, setting down the usual paper menu of just a handful of pizzas, sides and desserts.

"I've got plenty of time today if you'd like to do some sparring," he replied. He wasn't an acrobatic fighter. His focus on control meant that he had become more defensive, waiting for the Force to tell him went to counter attack.

He actually had things to get done, but she came first today.