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Approved Planet Nellogant

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Valdus Bral

️ Clan Bral Alor ️| Warlord of Nellogant
emanshiu-ice-planet.jpeg

The surface of the frozen hellscape of Nellogant.



OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

  • Intent: To create a desolate frozen planet that is, besides the surface, unexplored and hiding several unexpected secrets (which will be put into separate spoilers) .
  • Image Credit: "Ice Planet" by Emmanuel Shiu
  • Canon: N/A
  • Permissions: N/A
  • Links: N/A
GENERAL INFORMATION


Planet Name: Nellogant [Nell-Oh-Gahnt]

Demonym: Nelloganian [Nell-Oh-Gi-En]

Region: Outer Rim

System Name: Senterro (new system)

System Features: P-type Binary Star system (Primary Star: Tarruck , Secondary Star: Xeonlo) with a lava mineral planet named Behhemon in the same system.

Location: The nearest system contains Phaeda. Current Map Position: [X]

Major Imports: N/A

Major Exports: N/A

Unexploited Resources: [ Common, Uncommon, Moderate, Rare, Extremely Rare]

GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION

Gravity: Standard

Climate: A balmy -196 to nippy -220 C on the surface.

Primary Terrain:

  • Surface: Tundra / Mountains (nitrogen ice)
Secondary Terrain:
  • Canyon Layer: cavernous cliffsides (nitrogen ice)
  • Hearth Layer: temperate forest
  • Crystal Layer: mountains (various crystals and mineral spires)
Atmosphere: Type III (98% Nitrogen, 2% Oxygen)
  • Canyon Layer (Upper-mid layer): Type III(98% Nitrogen,2% Oxygen)
  • Hearth Layer (Mid layer): Type II (75% Nitrogen, 24% Oxygen, 1% Carbon Dioxide, >1% Trace gases)
  • Crystal Layer (Bottom-mid layer): Type III (90% Nitrogen, 2% Oxygen, 8% Carbon dioxide)
LOCATION INFORMATION

Capital City: Weyheyla (Hearth Layer)

Planetary Features: The surface is barren of permanent life.

Major Locations:


Force Nexus (Optional): Yes (Crystal Layer)

Alignment: Dark

Intent: To explain some of the unusual characteristics and traits of the native species of Nellogant.

Nexus Name: N/A


Size: Large

Strength: Moderate strength located within the Crystal Layer

Accessibility: Due to the Force Nexus being located in the deepest remotely habitable zone on the interior of the planet, this Nexus is all but impossible to access without extreme difficulty.

Effects: Those who are on Nellogant immediately begin to have a feeling of uneasiness, paranoia, as well as a difficulty in keeping positive emotions. As one moves closer (deeper) to the Crystal Layer, these feelings will amplify gradually until the Force nexus is within several hundred meters. When a person is within several hundred meters of the Force Nexus/Crystal Layer the person will begin to have constant negative thoughts to seep into the main consciousness. Additionally, being extremely close to the Force Nexus gives all those who are force sensitive ghastly hallucinations of people they know, of their own past misdeeds, misdeeds of the cult, and possibly totally fictitious though realistic horrors.

POPULATION

Native Species: Nellogant Dragons and many other species.

Immigrated Species:

  • Various near-human species as refugees from Mandalore
  • Orar'uram located at and around the Bral Excavation Site

Population: Insignificant

Demographics:

  • The hidden city of Weyheyla is mono-cultural and racial. It is occupied by a near-human sentient species simply called Nellogians.
  • Within the Cin'ceri Cerar Morut is a large collection of various near-human species.

Primary Languages: Nellogani

Culture:

  • The Nellogians are a spiritual people who worship the planet as a whole and give thanks for the layer of the planet they live within. They place little to no emphasis on technological progression beyond devising tools that work well with their natural surroundings. Until now, no Nellogian alive has met an outsider. However, they appear to be receptive, albeit wary of the intentions and spiritual status of outsiders.
  • There is a large presence of Mandalorian culture almost entirely focused within the Mandalorian military location: Cin'ceri Cerar Morut.


GOVERNMENT & ECONOMY

Government: Tribal Tetrarchy

Affiliation: Nellogians

Wealth: There is no sense of wealth and poverty due to the nature of their circumstance. They do have valuable resources, but there isn't a currency system, and there are no space ports.

Stability: High, unless you're an outsider there is very little substantial conflict that one should expect. Outsiders, if any find the single hidden city, would be better off to avoid the Nellogians and their territory. Scholars and those who are seeking wisdom will often find favor with the natives, while soldiers, miners, and explorers will quickly incur the wrath of the native population unless it is for fair trade.

Freedom & Oppression: Average amounts of freedom, no substantial oppression originating from the government.

MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY

Military: Primitive (spears, bows, swords, axes, etc.)

Technology: Primitive (Water wheels, complex architecture, written form of language, decent hold on basic mathematics, no electricity, no flying machines, thorough understanding of herbal medicine, and so forth)

HISTORICAL INFORMATION


Within a mostly unexplored region of the Outer Rim lay a small star system guarded by a legion of dense asteroid belts and lit by a binary star; this system is named Senterro. Within Senterro are three planets: the nearest planet to the star is Behhemon, a hellish planet rich with vast oceans of semi-molten metals and continents of hardened minerals with unparalled melting points. The second, Xeonlo, an ocean planet covered in vegetation causing the entire surface to be a marsh teeming with life. The third and most distant planet, Nellogant, a frozen hellscape wasteland comprised of nitrogen ice spires and what were once lakes of nitrogen.

Stories of this trio of planets are scarce; the few that exist seem to be about Xeonlo or the vast riches that could be gained by somehow industrializing Behhemon. Nellogant was never a planet to brag about, everything laid bare on that forsaken world -- at least when the perpetual storm clouds revealed the surface. The only apparent value of Nellogant is the massive amount of nitrogen that could be harvested from both the atmosphere and the surface beneath. With nitrogen being one of the most abundant elements in the galaxy, Nellogant is considered to be more trouble than it is worth. Explorers are eternally dissuaded from Nellogant just as they are from Behhemon; the worlds are far too harsh for exploration and what value they could bring is readily apparent from space.

Rumors now have started to surface of a Mandalorian by the name of Valdus Bral Valdus Bral who has been to Nellogant and told of deposits of useful, albeit common minerals such as: Durasteel, Iron, and the moderately rare ore of Turadium. While these metals are hardly worth the effort of attempting to colonize or industrialize Nellogant, explorers may find Nellogant an extreme challenge -- one that would test their will and wits to their breaking point. As of now, no sentient life has been talked about -- besides from the aforementioned Mandalorian who tells of a beast of horrific hunting prowess. Big-game hunters from across the galaxy often hear of these tall tales and rarely are these beasts anything more than exaggerated cantina stories.

Updated:

After an expedition onto Nellogant by the now-defunct United Clans of Mandalore lead by Valdus, many traces of unique wildlife, plant-life, and minerals were found. This lead to the creation of the Bral Excavation Site. After the invasion of Mandalore and subsequent fall of Mandalore, Nellogant has become the new home of hundreds of thousands of Mandalorians under the Bral clan banner. These Mandalorians have erected a large military base on the surface, above the mining site, and is now one of two civilizations on Nellogant. Though it remains to be seen if either society finds the other.

Unknown History:

Within the deepest layers of the planet Nellogant lay an old holdout of dark-side practitioners. After hundreds of years of dark-side acolytes training in the Force and carrying out dark-side rituals within this subterranean place of worship, a force nexus was unintentionally created at this site within the Crystal layer. The Force Nexus poisoned the life around it and forced those creatures that survived to adapt to the strong presence. While many lifeforms died outright or became corrupted, the Nellogant Dragons endure. At one point in time the Force Nexus effected the entire planet to a severe degree, but now the nexus' power has dwindled to a shadow of its former self. Those who explore deep into the planet will suffer the negative effects of the nexus, while those on top can feel an all encompassing dark-side taint, with those who are non-force sensitive finding it hard to become or remain in a positive state of mind.
 
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Hi there! I'll be judging this one for you.



Valdus Bral said:
Links: [ Provide links to any relevant development threads, characters, companies, locations, etc here. ]
So Here, I need you to just put Not Applicable or N/A or something if you don't have anything to put there.



Valdus Bral said:
Gravity: [ Standard is Earth-like. Use terms such as "Twice Standard" to describe other types of gravity. ]
I will need you to fill this part out.



Valdus Bral said:
Native Species: [ Species that have always lived there. Links to uncommon species are appreciated, but not required. ]
I think these Can go here, as can whatever species the Nellogians are. If they consist of a large number of species, just write that, you don't have to link a ton of them unless you want to.

Overall, looks pretty good.
 
Valdus Bral said:
Gravity: 1x Earth Gravity
Sorry for not pointing this out in the previous post, but this belongs as the first field under Geographic Information Header. Just need it moved there so if anyone goes looking for it its in the right spot.
 
[member="Laira Darkhold"] | [member="Valdus Bral"]

Force Nexus (Optional): Yes (Crystal Layer)

Intent: To explain some of the unusual characteristics and traits of the native species of Nellogant.

Strength: Weak (planetary), Moderate (close proximity to the Crystal layer)

Effects: A feeling of uneasiness and paranoia as well as a difficulty in keeping positive emotions. As one moves closer (deeper) to the force nexus, these feelings will amplify gradually until the Force nexus is within several hundred meters at which point it will induce constant negative thoughts to seep into the main consciousness. Additionally, extremely close proximity to the Force Nexus gives all those who are force sensitive ghastly hallucinations of people they know, of past misdeeds of the cult, and so forth.
From the way I read this it's less of a Planetary Nexus and more of a Nexus contained to a single place. Is that a correct assessment? Or are these effects felt all across the world, no matter where you are?

Technology: Primitive (think 12th century Europe)
You will need to replace the real-world reference here. According to the rules (Specifically the planet creation section) mention the following:
  • Don't use specific Earth references as a short hand instead of explaining something. Ex. 'Japanese culture,' 'Medieval Europe', etc.
 

Valdus Bral

️ Clan Bral Alor ️| Warlord of Nellogant
[member="Jairus Starvald"]

From the way I read this it's less of a Planetary Nexus and more of a Nexus contained to a single place. Is that a correct assessment? Or are these effects felt all across the world, no matter where you are?
Hm. It may be my very basic understanding of what a force nexus is mechanically speaking, but ... yes to all of the above? The way I was trying to form it is that there is an 'unexplained' emotional heaviness to the planet, that you can't keep positive and it may be out of character for some to be so dismal. People wouldn't be suddenly doom and gloom, but it would have to be faked if someone were to try to be outwardly cheerful or say that they like this planet. The effects would grow as people descend through the layers, except when in the presence of the only city which I was going to apply for a crystalline material that acts as a dampener to weak force influence. If someone were to get to the deepest habitable layer then they would find themselves in a full-on emotional assault from the remnants of a once powerful force nexus attuned to the darkside.

If what I am saying is possible and just needs to be specifically worded, I would appreciate some assistance on how to achieve that.
 
[member="Valdus Bral"]

This explanation is solid and in line with what a planetary nexus could be. I think what makes it confusing is the parts in the submission where you describe it as 'getting closer to the Force Nexus', whereas a planetary nexus is everywhere, but can be more contained and focused in particular parts.

If you tweak the language to be more in line with the description you just wrote up in response to me, it should be fine.

So change places where it says that the force nexus is one specific place rather than planetary. Because it is fine that the effects are stronger in the crystal layer, but that isn't the same as saying that the crystal layer is the nexus.

Does that make sense?
 

Valdus Bral

️ Clan Bral Alor ️| Warlord of Nellogant
[member="Jairus Starvald"]

I've edited it, is this more inline with what should be there?


Strength: Moderate strength located within the Crystal Layer

Effects: Those who are on Nellogant immediately begin to have a feeling of uneasiness, paranoia, as well as a difficulty in keeping positive emotions. As one moves closer (deeper) to the Crystal Layer, these feelings will amplify gradually until the Force nexus is within several hundred meters. When a person is within several hundred meters of the Force Nexus/Crystal Layer the person will begin to have constant negative thoughts to seep into the main consciousness. Additionally, being extremely close to the Force Nexus gives all those who are force sensitive ghastly hallucinations of people they know, of their own past misdeeds, misdeeds of the cult, and possibly totally fictitious though realistic horrors.
 

Zak Dymo

Guest
Z
Valdus Bral Valdus Bral

Thank you for your patience. I only have a few comments, which I believe merely reflect the difference between Codex 4.0 and the templates/guidelines that were in place at the time you originally submitted this.

1. Missing Template Field (Out of Character Information)
If you refer to the current template, we now include a Permissions field for planet submissions. Even if this is N/A, I'll need you to include that in the Out of Character Information section at top.


2. New Template Language (Coordinates = Location)

Coordinates: [ Z,17] near the north edge of the hex

Due to updates to the Chaos map, we no longer use coordinates for planet submissions. Accordingly, this part of the template was re-named as Location with the following explanatory text

Location: [ This can be a screenshot of the hex from the map with a marker, or you can say that it is located "in X planet's hex" and give a general description of positioning. If you intend to add this planet to the Chaos Map please review the rules thoroughly.]


3. Gravity (Remove Earth Reference)
Gravity: 1x Earth Gravity

Our current Codex Rules state: "Don't use specific Earth references as shorthand instead of explaining something." As a result, we've adopted the use of "standard" for this field (standard gravity = Earth gravity).


Once those changes are addressed, I think this will be ready for the next review. Please tag me when you've completed your edits.
 
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