No Life Ever Goes Forever Unbroken

[Jairdain]

The young woman knew about loosing her mind. Twice now it had happened to her. Maybe not in the same way as it was for Silfe, but she still felt she could help. Jairdain had taken the Prince away on a journey of discovery and soon after the other woman had disappeared too.

Little was known of why or how, but that is what they were going to meet up for. To find out why and what happened, they had agreed to meet up. Hopefully this would also allow them the opportunity to clear any foul feelings between them.

When she had taken Brad away, it had not been with the intention of them becoming a couple. That had happened naturally and they had announced their engagement at that ball where Silfe herself had made a return. Jairdain had not missed her when she and Brad had returned. Assuming she had taken another appointment some other place. Little did she know that had not been the case.

Details were still unknown by her and maybe even Silfe needed some enlightenment herself.

Inviting Silfe to come to her quarters, Jairdain now waited for her friend to show up.

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

When Silfe had come to the ball with the expectation of a wonderful reunion, she could never have imagined that she would walk in on [member="Jairdain"] and [member="Bradshaw Ku"] announcing their engagement. To say it was heartbreaking was a massive understatement. Instead of tears of happiness and questions about where she had been, there was shock and walking away in order to avoid causing a wholly different kind of scene. The last few days had been filled with a great deal of emotion and confusion as she tried to process the news and how she felt about it. No closer to answers, she left the safety of her hotel room to meet Jairdain. Perhaps the two of them would be able to come up with answers together.

As she walked up to the door of Jairdain's quarters, she adjusted her dress. Pale grey, but somehow stately enough that she felt more confident than she had felt all morning. Her hair was up and out of her face in a knot at the base of her neck. Her heels were high but comfortable enough for this morning. She pressed the door chime and waited patiently for her friend to bid her enter.

 

[Jairdain]

There was a reason Jairdain had decided to invite Silfe to her own home. It wasn't because she felt like exerting any sense of power or control, but she felt the upcoming conversation was not one to happen in a public place.

When Silfe knocked at the door, she went and answered it herself. Just because she could have servants here, Jairdain decided to keep the meeting simple and between the two of them.

"Thank you for coming, ​Silfe. Please come in."

At home she wasn't dressed as formal as she would be in public. Not that she dressed poorly, just nothing dressy or fancy. Loose pants of yellow and a cream colored top. Her socks matched her shirt and her shoes were brown. Other than her engagement ring, she wore no jewelry. Her lightsaber was openly clipped on her belt though. That was as much of her wardrobe as anything else.
​
[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

Silfe gathered her strength and diplomacy when [member="Jairdain"] opened the door and greeted her kindly. She smiled softly and walked in to Jairdain's home at the invitation. "Thank you." She had never been here, so her eyes wandered curiously around the space. She tried to get a feel for the kind of person Jairdain was. They had only just started becoming friends when she had left with [member="Bradshaw Ku"] and Silfe had gone on a diplomatic mission. Neither could have guessed that their lives would change so much in so short a time. Even as Silfe was grasping at her old life, she wondered if she would be able to return to it. She had yet to meet with Lady Kay. That would come soon enough.

She turned and looked as Jair. "I did not get to give you congratulations on your engagement at the ball, but I think you will forgive me." It was half in jest and for more light hearted than she thought she was going to be able to muster. Her eyes did not seek out the ring though. "Two years is quite a lot of time to have passed without seeing each other. We have quite a bit to catch up on."

 

[Jairdain]

Being blind, Jairdain did not see the smile Silfe gave her, but certainly picked up on the curiosity as she looked around her home. There really wasn't very much decoration since she couldn't see. However, for the sake of any visitors she had over there were a few paintings on the wall. Mostly forest or nature settings with one of a many masted ship on an ocean that was more or less the center piece of the pictures.

There were no photographs of family members or any from vacations she might have taken. Something that might seem odd or out of place were what looked like rough wood carvings on a shelf. These were mementoes of her past and gifts given to her by a former love.

"Thank you, Silfe, I really mean that. Would you care for something to drink? I'm sorry I am unable to offer as good of items as Amelia can, but what I do have come from the heart. Not meant to impress so much."

Her tone was friendly, open and truthful.

"We do have a lot to catch up on. Please have a seat."

If Silfe accepted the ​offer of a drink, Jairdain would get that and return to take a seat on the couch.

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

Silfe allowed her eyes to wander just a bit more as she responded to [member="Jairdain"]'s offer of drink. She wanted to find out what kind of woman Jairdain was, but the lack of anything substantial in the space was expected with Jair's blindness. The lack of photography was a little surprising, but then she didn't know anything about Jairdain's family or history. Perhaps this was normal for her, or perhaps she did not like her past or people in it. "Well, I am glad. Her drinks are... shall we say... troublemaking?" She grinned at her lighthearted joke and wondered about the carvings as she passed near them on the way to take a seat. "Water, alcohol, fruit juice... I have no preference. Whatever you like, surprise me."

She sat down and watched the other woman get the drink offered and wondered how Jair was feeling in this moment. Was she tense, nervous, relaxed and confident, worried? Silfe was several of those things. She tried to relax but her muscles just weren't responding. At least Jair could not see her physical discomfort or her unsuccessful attempts at relaxing. "I heard I was not the only one who came back from the dead at the ball. I am afraid I might have brought Amelia out of hiding before she really was wishing to be out." Perhaps the tangentially related drama would ease them into talking about their own.

 

[Jairdain]

She couldn't help but let out a little laugh when Silfe mentioned the drinks Amelia provided were troublemaking. Jairdain wasn't much of an alcohol drinker and decided to get juice for them.

Her floor was easy to navigate and due to her being blind, it was kept clear of clutter than many people might have. Discarded shoes or dirty clothes that needed washed. While it could be seen these rooms were lived in, it was very clean.

Keeping her thoughts close, her emotions were easier to read. It was something she hadn't learned to do and that was keep what she felt hidden. Jairdain saw the emotions of others through the Force and that was her vision. She could tell Silfe was nervous and tense and would attempt to show how she felt herself.

The advisor wasn't one be nervous so often or really tense and certainly not about this meeting. What she felt was comfortable and wanted to be open with Silfe. Returning with the juice, she offered her guest the glass first and took a seat on the couch. Holding the glass in her hands on her lap, she raised it and take a drink and set it on the table in front of her.

"Many things happened that night. Your return, Amelia coming back from the dead, the mutual announcements of Kay and then ours. What happened to you? You were here when we left and gone when we returned. You came back and seem at a loss. Like you had also been gone for two years."

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

There was so much to say. So much had happened and so much of it was a complete blank to her. How would she fill in those spaces? Could she fill in those spaces? Silfe didn't quite know. [member="Jairdain"] had been unaware of her disappearance it seemed. Did Silfe believe that? She decided yes, she probably did. Jair was being honest, or at least Silfe believed her to be. What told Silfe this was unknown, but she was fairly certain the woman before her was being genuine and curious.

"There is much to say. As to the Ball... well, when I realized I would be making a scene that would directly and negatively impact everyone's good time, I felt it was best to leave the celebration. I ... I did not expect ... I don't know what I expected." She half smiled but there was sadness, and sipped her juice. It was cool in her mouth and helped to stead her as she let her story flow. "I thought maybe [member="Bradshaw Ku"] would be waiting for me, worried and having searched the galaxy for me 6 times over..." Silfe looked at Jair and realized she was getting ahead of herself. She paused and collected her thoughts to begin from where she could.

"Two years ago I was on a mission. I don't remember even to where now. On my way there, my ship was attacked. My crew was killed and I was taken. My father was the instrument of the of the attack. He sent one of his advisors and a man I can almost remember but not quite." She said wistfully as if trying to remember but only coming away with fog and outlines of long forgotten memories. Shaking her head and the brain spiders, she continued. "I have bits and pieces of the following period of time but they do not make sense or really help in anyway. I think I was a prisoner. I k now I wasn't there naturally of my own free will, but sometimes it felt like I wanted to be there. It's very complicated, or I think it is or was or...."

Silfe shrugged unable to put to words how that time in her mind was construed. It was like a puzzle where pieces were missing or shaped wrong and nothing fit together. "I remember waking up from the fog beside my father's ship and I got away. I came here. I didn't know where else to go and that is the very basic gist of it. I have no one and nothing else but what [member="Lady Kay"] and Commenor have given me. I don't know what to do... where to go from here. My job is taken by someone else and I can hardly blame Lady Kay for having that position filled. What else is there for me to do but hope I find a place... my place." There was loss, confusion, and a tinge of frustration in her voice. Her fingers gripped her juice glass tight as though it were a lifeline to the here and now even as her mind tried to focus on the past two years and its alluring fog.

 

[Jairdain]

As Silfe spoke, Jairdain sat and listened to everything patiently. While she wanted to try and prompt her friend to put her thoughts into words, she knew Silfe needed the time and she provided that. Eventually a story came out and the fact there were parts that did not add up got Jairdain curious.

"It appears that just before you were on that mission, Brad and I left. We ended up also being gone for about two years. That would be why he did not go searching for you. When we returned, well, we assumed you had taken a position up with another government. I am very sorry that wasn't the case."

True to her words, that sympathy and sorrow would show on Jairdain's face. As Silfe finished speaking, she nodded. Wanting to give her friend hope, she considered her words.

"You will always be welcome with Commenor."

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

That certainly explained why [member="Bradshaw Ku"] had not tried to find her. Never knowing she was missing, he would never have felt the need to find her. She wondered if he missed her at all while they had both been away, or had she been yet another of his playthings. Playboy of Commenor, some people had called him. It was a well deserved reputation when she had come to Commenor. She didn't want to imagine that she had been meaningless to him, but she did and had since the ball.

Silfe took in the other woman's demeanor: her voice inflection, facial expression, and her posture. She meant what she said. Silfe didn't even consider the idea that Jairdain would lie to her."You have nothing to apologize for @Jairdain. You have been kind to me. We were becoming friends before we separated for two years. I would like to think had you and Brad known, you would have tried to find me."

"I hope that I find a new job here. I do not know what that will be, but Commenor has been my home since I first set my feet on it's surface and I doubt that will ever change."

She shifted, feeling uncomfortable and like there was a spotlight on her. "Soo... where did you go the two years we were all gone?"

 

[Jairdain]

The trust and faith Silfe had in what Jairdain said was felt by her. She accepted the truth and that was that. However, Jairdain still felt the need to reassure her friend. Since she was not able to hide what her own emotions behind a facial façade, they were open to be read by Silfe.

"If we had know, I assure we would have attempted to find out what happened. With everything that has happened to both Kay and myself over the years, somebody going missing would have been investigated."

Her own​ position had morphed, but she still gave Brad advice when needed. When they had first left, Brad had thought of Silfe and their time together, but she did not mention this.

"There are always options, Silfe."

When asked where they ha​d gone for those two years, she could only offer a partial answer.

"We started on Irridonia. Moved to Voss and then we separated for a while. We returned to Commenor not long before that ball."

S​he was not trying to keep anything from Silfe, but where Brad had gone was unknown to her. Even he hadn't told her everything that had happened to him. Whatever it was had finished what she started though.

"Where do you think you were?"

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

She could imagine the travels of her friend and her former boyfriend as they moved from place to place. She couldn't imagine the separation having been long, but then, she just simply didn't know what they had gone through... what Brad had gone through. In the mind of a woman who had never had to fight enemies because of Force abilities, she simply could not comprehend the possibilities or situations prone to that class of person. To her, she simply thought that they had gone deep into training Brad to become a better leader, a more politic person. It was sorely needed if she remembered correctly. He had always been flippant about his position as heir to Lady Kay.

At the question about her own whereabouts, she closed her eyes trying hard to remember the snippets of memories that plagued her with their ghostly countenance. They were like smoke, seen in the briefest of sunlights but as unable to be captured as the wind. "Sometimes I have what feels like a photograph in my mind. I could never really place the image in any form of specificity. I think it must have been on one of my father's manufacturing worlds, but I cannot be certain. I was never allowed to see the night sky to map myself among the stars... at least not that I remember. There are times where I think we were elsewhere too; change of interior very unlike the place I spent the majority of my time. I don't think I was often alone either but I cannot picture the person or people who might have been with me. I do remember my father though, mostly as a shape in the distance but one I would recognize everywhere." Emotion started swirling wildly within her; anger, frustration, fear and desperation. As she spoke, and remembered, the emotion took a violent turn into a powerful blast of Force Energy. "And once, I remember so clearly, the look of smug satisfaction on his godforsa..."*crash*

Juice spilled out over her dress and onto the chair. Her grip had been so tight at the last memory, that the force energy focused and had shattered the glass. Silfe gasped, unaware of anymore more than her clumsy grip causing the glass to break. "Oh! [member="Jairdain"] I am so sorry." She exclaimed as she tried desperately not to drip any more on the furniture she occupied. Her dress, made of soft cotton, soaked up a great deal. The anger was gone and now she was simply herself, flooded by embarrassment. "Do you have something to mop up this mess?"

 

[Jairdain]

Listening to the story unfold, Jairdain had a small feeling of jealousy when Silfe mentioned seeing the stars. There was also sympathy because her friend had been a captive it sounded like. Unable to be free to come and go as she wanted, but also likely kept in a drugged state. In a way, what she had been through was similar to something that had happened to Jairdain too.

Being held captive for an extended amount of time, deprived of the Force through the use of drugs and unable to be free.

There was a swelling of emotion from Silfe along with a focused sense Force energy that almost shattered the glass of juice she was holding. That use of the Force would be explored later, but right now, Jairdain needed to comfort her friend.

"Don't worry about the spill and we can get your dress cleaned. Did you hurt yourself?"

Standing up, she moved back into the kitchen to pick up one of the towels she knew was in there for this kind of thing. Handing that to Silfe, she waited on knowing if she was hurt or not. In her mind, she was thinking over what she had just been told and the revelation of a still unknown skill in her friend. Once she knew Silfe was fine, Jairdain offered another glass if she wanted it and leaned back in her chair.

"You know I can use the Force and there are many ways it can be used. One of the things it can do is bring up memories. If you wanted and felt comfortable, I could help you remember your missing years."

Jairdain kept silent still about Silfe being able to also use the Force. Time would come when there wasn't a more pressing concern to talk to her about that. It might even be in this meeting, but it would be addressed soon.

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

Silfe set aside the glass and very carefully picked up pieces as she found them and placed them within the part of the glass she had left. She quickly took the towel offered by @Jaridain and began cleaning. Her concentration was on the furniture she had so unwittingly soiled with the juice. While cleaning the mess, she didn't feel as though she had been hurt, but after she was finished doing what she could to mitigate the mess, she realized there were a couple of small cuts on her fingers and palm. They had bled a little on the towel, but were not severe. She walked to the sink and rinsed the towel and her hand thoroughly inspecting the damage.

"I have a few small cuts, but they aren't serious and should close up pretty quickly. I don't think I got any glass in them." She said as she walked back to where Jairdain was sitting and took a new seat. "I believe juice is just not in the cards today. Best not tempt fate to break another of your glasses." She said with a half smile.

Now settled, she listened to Jairdain's offer and considered it carefully. Uncertain, she asked, "Will it hurt?"

 

[Jairdain]

"Allow me to heal the cuts?"

While it wasn't phrased a​s a question, the tone was in Jairdain's voice. She held her hands out to Silfe to place her own in if she accepted the offer.

"I understand and not a problem, but I don't think it would happen again."

S​ilfe considered the offer Jairdain gave her and it took a few moments for her provide an answer she was happy with.

"There will be no physical pain involved. However just basing my answer off what you have been able to tell me, I think it might bring up emotional pain."

There was no hesitation ​in her voice and she felt secure in her answer. It would be up to Silfe on if she was ready to potentially face a great deal of mental pain. It wouldn't be cause by Jairdain, but the memories buried in her mind.

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

Silfe was confident in [member="Jairdain"]'s abilities in the Force. She never thought to question that her friend could do what she said she could. Placing her small hands into that of the other, Silfe waited patiently for the cuts to heal through Jairdain's use of the Force. In the meantime, she contemplated the idea of opening herself up and finding answers to her lost two years. It was more than a little tempting to regain the lost time, know what happened and know what danger she could possibly be in now that she escaped.

Then there was the emotional pain, which she expected given the significant reactions she had had both here in Jair's presence and in the quiet of night between sleep and dreams. Was she ready to face the faceless man and her father and what they did to her? Was she courageous enough to do it... or to even just try? Her heart pounded in her mind as she tried to get up the courage to say yes, let us face my demons... but after several long minutes, she simply shook her head. "Would you think me a coward if I said I am not ready to face it yet?"

 

[Jairdain]

The cuts were very mild on Silfe's hands and were healed very quickly. With no slivers or shards of glass to remove, they were simple cuts and it was just mere moments before Jairdain let go. The only sign of the injuries was the fresh skin where the cuts were.

This gave Silfe the time she needed to think on her answer to Jairdain. Shaking her head when that answer was given, she sat back and would focus on her friend through the Force.

"Not at all, Silfe. When you are, then you will know."

Raising a hand, she placed it over her heart and used a finger to point it at Silfe.
​
"You will know here and here."

Lifting her other hand, she pointed to her own head. ​However there was something more to talk about now and her hands lowered. The issue at the moment was how to approach the subject. She knew it would come to her like a strike of lightning, but it eluded her for now.

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

She nodded and took her hands back, choosing to sit once more. "It's funny. When I was here last, my father came to fetch me thinking I would be an easy target, easy prey. I stood up for myself, full and complete, for the first time in my life. He knocked me into a glass table. The pain was overwhelming. My head was definitely the worse for wear and I swear if [member="Darlyn Excron"] had not come in, I would have capitulated to my father. I would have left my courage on the floor with the broken glass shards and my blood. I would have stood up meekly and followed him home."

"Sometimes all it takes is an interruption of a cycle that started shortly after you were born, for you to pick up the shards of courage and use them again to protect yourself. He gave me a second to reassess and regather and I did. I fought him again and won. He left and I hoped that would be the end of it. I wanted that to be the end of it. I grew complacent. My life was going so well. Brad was amazing. My job was amazing. I was gaining friends for the first time in my life. It all went wrong though. It cost people their lives and me two years and a boyfriend. I suppose I got the better end of the deal, but it doesnt much feel that way."

 

[Jairdain]

As Jairdain listened to Silfe take a walk through a memory of the past and what happened, she considered the best approach to what happened with the glass. However, there was need to address what her friend had said.

"Each of us have had bad things happen to us. Probably the worst is that all my people are dead. To my knowledge, I am the last of them."

Other poor things had certainly happened to her, but she thought that was the worst. Most of what she had been through had been traumatic for her alone. Coming out of things, she had friends to help her and by the time they had met...she was fine. At this point, only Brad knew within Commenor all that Jairdain had been through. Yet he still accepted her and she was thankful for that.

"Silfe, you are a very strong woman and have accomplished a great many things. You may have lost a boyfriend...I did not mean for that to happen, truly. But you have so much more open to you now."

And that could be her lead in to what had just happened. Depending how receptive Silfe was and how she reacted to what she just said. Jairdain wasn't afraid of the other woman, but was unsure how to tell her she could use the Force.

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

"Each of us have had bad things happen to us. Probably the worst is that all my people are dead. To my knowledge, I am the last of them."

"And that is a shame. No one should be the last of their people. It is a hard burden to bear." She said with not a little sadness. There was much about Jairdain she did not know; much about her life and her trials. She hoped at least her words were some kind of consolation, though nothing could erase the pain of that or probably anything else her friend had gone through.

"Silfe, you are a very strong woman and have accomplished a great many things. You may have lost a boyfriend...I did not mean for that to happen, truly. But you have so much more open to you now."

Silfe frowned though [member="Jairdain"] could not see it. She had a lot of conflicting emotions regarding these statements. There was so much she could say and it was all a jumble in her mind. Silfe, for quite a few long minutes could say nothing. Her fingers tightened in her lap and finally she forced them apart, feeling the ache from how tightly they had been connected. She rubbed her thighs to loosen up the muscles and finally spoke.

"I have accomplished very little if we are honest. I was the Minister of Foreign Affairs but nothing lasting occurred there. Nothing major facilitated a permanent peace. It was mostly just trade agreements. I lost that job and have no other. I have nothing that makes me useful to anyone. I have lost someone I cared a great deal about. I lost two years. I am not sure what you mean by me having so much more open to me now. Its almost laughable to say that." She let out a cold half laugh and closed her mouth before it turned into a sob. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. And she glossed over the intent of Jair in getting with [member="Bradshaw Ku"], not entirely sure she was ready to unleash the anger and sadness she felt about that just yet. She was torn between blaming Jair and Brad for getting together despite her relationship and then forgiving them because two years was a lot of time to hold on to something that was no longer there.