Not all so Peachy

[Maya Carrick]

​

In the garden of Peace​

​

It had been a long time since she had a really heart to heart chat with [member="Connor Harrison"] . Even then she had waited a long time to even ask him to met him in one of the many places in the gardens that she over the years on Voss had a hand in building. Even so she knew it was getting to be evening out. Finding herself making a fire in the pit over with the choice of drinks being a herb tea that she had the water heating up in old stone pot.

Couldn't help wonder if he would even show up, after all it seem the same time that he had left Voss her own [member="Xander Carrick"] had disappeared to not be heard from again. It had turn into months then years. Even in her face once the beautiful bright hopeful smile was replace by a sternest around her.

Now as she had taken herself to look at the basket of peaches. Remember all those years how they first met each other they was both young. Even then her eyes of pinkish color didn't miss much. It had been a long time since she been able to really talk to a true friend that could understand her. Missing all these years the heart still had a place for Ella missing her more then every in times like this.

Finding herself unable to do much more then to be hopeful. Even then she knew that they both was in the secret order that watched every jedi that came to this planet knowing or unknown to them. Even so tonight she was in something different leaving the her silver robe behind at the house she and Xander had build even before the children was born.

As she had on a plain looking shirt and pants with some very much needed sandals that keep herself rooted in the ground something she felt closer to. It was during these time she felt more at peace and the love of the nature itself is the only thing that keep her from going over the edge into a deep dark nothing. That her love of teaching the next generation of students. Even so all these years had taught her one thing nothing stays the same.

As she turned her eyes to the water and to where she could sit and watch the little colorful fishes swim even as she let some of the food for the little guys find there way to the water. Here the water start to boil, as she let herself used the force to bring the pot to the table then pouring it in the cup before she found its way back to keep the water warm, if her guest would come. That is when she sat there waiting as she took the first sip from her cup.

 

[Connor Harrison]

The open lecture had been somewhat liberating for Connor. He hadn’t spoken like that, to others, in years. His confidence seemed to have cropped up from somewhere and his views and knowledge about life had come out to hopefully give the new faces something to think on later.

But now, still casually dressed, shirt sleeves rolled up, collar button undone and light trousers, he left the Academy grounds on word from Maya Whitelight to meet him back in the gardens where most of their time had always been spent. Surrounded by nature was very much Maya’s thing, and she always found the most serene places and when he arrived at her spot, it was no different.

A fountain-cum-water feature, a crackling stone stove and a few chairs all surrounded by tall thin trees, thick lush green bushes all dotted with yellow and red flowers.

The pink skinned Zeltron was sat waiting absently playing with the water as he stepped down into the clearing. He smiled; she was always still beautiful and full of life. But, something was off.

"Maya," he walked up, hands out and leant down to kiss her on the cheek. "It’s been a while. You alright?"

He looked at the water feature, the little fish darting around under the water, and sat on the edge beside her, not knowing why she wanted him or what the reason was behind it.

[member="Maya Whitelight"]

 

[Maya Carrick]

It all but a whisper to her now even as Connor present was made known. All this life around her was beaming with the life even now it was mix with her own force. Being a part of it for so long. Giving of herself to the very planet itself now she was its soul heart beat deep with in the planet. Turning her head every so slowly as she heard him call her name. Eyes upon him now seeming that he wasn't the young shy boy in the orchard any more.

Holding out her hand out to him, as he greeted her in a way she felt the his very soul of deepness. "Connor, its a joy to see you looking so well even after all these years." raising herself from the potion. Even before she could get another word out there came his words of concern. Now her own eyes begin to shift back and forth. Did something give it away to him that he might have stumble onto something buried deep with in herself. Caring it all these years. Hiding it well enough to know when someone that truly knew her nature could tell when she was a bit off.

No this wasn't what she would do was unload on him it wasn't fare to him or her. No she had invited him here to see how he was fairing all these years. Not to hope that with all his traveling that he hear some kind of news on Xander. No it had been years that she had really sat down with someone that she could trust completely. Knowing through the years that others had tried to get with in her for her to open up but some how wasn't the same when she came back from her misadventures from the sith.

"Oh Connor I'm fine, more important how have you been, tell me of your journey." as she had nothing but her own friendly and knowing empathy coming with in her deeply. As she then finished it was her own greeting of those she holds so dear to her as she placed her own kissed upon his cheek. "I have missed you, it was a joy to know that you have finally came home." after all she had learn to be others first then herself. She had two children to raise into the young jedi they was becoming. Even so with her own daughter asking the question she didn't couldn't help but strike that into her very soul she don't nothing but to protect them from all that was out there all that she had seen.
[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Smiling placidly at the Zeltron, he could see that she hadn't REALLY changed much in the years between seeing her properly. The last time he saw he was, oh, it must have been in the Isolated Gardens a long time ago. He was so out of her famly life, but presumed Xander had left because he hadn't seen him or heard his name at all for a long time more so.

"Well, my journey? Let's just say it took me literally to the edge of the Dark Side from the Light and back again. I nearly lost my life in the process, and have lost many friends too. Here in the Sanctum and out there in the wider worlds. I am ok now, I think, and I am really trying to establish myself again. New faces populate the Sanctum more than ever and if I'm not careful my name will be nothing but a myth haunting the walls. I need to stay active, to uphold what Iella trusted me to do years ago. It's been hard, but I'm still here."

His smile beamed at her, she always had a way of just making him feel a little warmer. But, of course, she was a Zeltron, so it didn't take a genius to wonder why. She was so welcoming and kind, and she was one of the first of his old friends to talk to him.

"I know I've been out of things for so long, and I know I am so behind on your life and duty. Are you faring well? How are the children?"

[member="Maya Whitelight"]

 

[Maya Carrick]

Hearing that one word struck to the heart of her Iella after all these time she still knew of the great lost the order took with her passing into the force. Even so she could feel also with in Connor how it sired him so strongly. Even so as she put her cup down fully reach out with her hands to take his in her own. As if her own understanding of what he was met came to light right before her eyes.

"Yes dear lovely Iella, so long to speak of her name once more. Even more so of what she stood for, even after all these years. Connor no one has a easy path to walk one that is straight, if one did then one wasn't living life. Even then she had to gather up enough breath for her to speak what came next out of her lips once they was formed on her tongue. "Darkness isn't always clear until you are upon that path it likes one that can seduce one little by little to their own desire. as if the wind was string around them or was it something deeper then that. It was when he said those words about being away so long.

Did he really know how she felt as if she was all lone sure she knew that all could come and help her if needed but it was some that ran deeper then that had she closed herself off after the disappearance of Xander. Upon her eyes took another form of emotion. Even so she let her hands drop from him.

There is growing my daughter was at the class , she was the blonde hair with her dark eyes of herse, just like...X..just..." she swolled hard as she did so she couldn't help but turn away completely from Connor. It was not that she couldn't bring her to speak his name it was what emotions that brought up when that happen. Even the way the trees and the plants responded when that happen was strange in itself. So embed herself into the planet as if it was now part of her it was part of her.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He couldn't help smile just briefly at the mention of her daughter, and she really was a fine mother. Holding her hands in his, Connor nodded in understanding, but didn't fight when she turned. Clearly things were raw, and if she was bottling events up, that would never lead to a rosy outcome. Looking up, the plants and trees seemed to wilt a little. Nature and the Force were really as one.

"Just what?"

Looking over, trying to lean out to see her face, he shifted and placed his hands on her shoulders, gently rubbing them. Maya and Connor had known each other for years - the founding ones who made Voss what it was now for the Silvers. From their touching upon the catacombs down below as young Shadows to fighting ancient spirits, here they were. She was a mother and Healer, he the Shadow Leader and survivor.

"She's a beautiful girl, Maya. What happened with Xander?"

[member="Maya Whitelight"]

 

[Maya Carrick]

Just the feeling of his very hands upon her shoulder, just the very simple touch easy what could only bee what was deep with in her. Bottled up after all these years. Even then she couldn't help but know that Connor was back really back. Even all this time he was the same one that she could talk. Wondering back on those days, turning around as that one word that brought her so.

Finding that after these year did she really keep it inside of her deep and buried.

Xander, he..he ...been gone...for long time...


There she had drop of a tear come from her eye. As more of her emotions came flowing out deeper rooted. As it as if a clue from Connor for her to let all of it go. The start was very slowly at first then came the the next and next before there was flood but also the clouds that came upon them as if some how it knew the hurt that Maya was in now. The bottle came open so did other raw emotions.

He really gone ..I hope every day..keep it along for the twins...

As then something Maya only did when she was in her shadow warrior form that was to let out a warrior cry one that would shatter all around as the thunder could be heard now. It keep it up looking Connor straight in the eye as the question came rolling off her own eyes. Once so not only hurt but also gerives somehting she had never done. Could it bee that what keep her going with the twins and the building of the Silver Order. Even then she kind of felt like she had fault, she had grown so distances or even that keep to herself for the most part.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He let her release her emotion, holding her shoulder and not looking away as best he could to maintain that support. Still, she wanted to see him, so he had to ask.

"Tell me what happened between you. I can tell you’re in pain, and you asked me here for a reason today – what is it? Let me be the rock for you to hit out at. Let it out. Trust me, I can cope. You can’t suffer anything alone."

Something was wrong in the paradise she had built. Regarding Xander, Connor hadn’t seen him for years and assumed he had left, but didn’t pay it any mind with his own issues coming to a head.

"Are the twins in danger at all from anything?"

[member="Maya Whitelight"]

 

[Maya Carrick]

Looking straight into his eyes as if the pain was right there for her to take. Even then she couldn't help but see something else she hadn't seen before that he was really there for her this time around. Wasn't going to run off if she let herself unleash what been bottle up inside of her for so very long. Even so her heart seem to be beating faster as if she was going to let go some of her emotions. First the words to come out of her mouth was to him.
"I can't let go of my emotion, I"m the one that has conctrol to let go of it all would only show that I have weaken." Looking down at the ground seeing that as the sky was getting darker as if there was more late evening then just the middle of the day. She looked back at him ashamed.

"You have no idea how hard it is to hope everyday, Conor he said he would be back to leave the candle burning for him, I did after all these years." as it seem that a rumble started to come from the clouds themselves as she looked at him quickly enough to tell him to watch out. After which time she couldn't help but feel something more brew then just a little thunder. Grabbing out with both hands now at him as she took a hold of him with both arms and started to shaking him.

Do you know how hard it is for one to raise children to keep them save on the right path then that of darkness and hurt even when I'm hurting deep inside not knowing if Xander is dead or live and if he ever coming back, to see what his children has become. I know I been over protive but still I don't want them taken from me like there half brother was so long ago." that very word let the sky open up as the tears started to flow from the clouds itself first one then another then it was pouring. Even the though of her son being of sith in nature in now only brought more emotion out of her with the wind picking up.

Please tell me I was right to keep them on this planet not let them go with other padawn in what could happen to them, I don't want to loose them, not even one of them, they both our my world."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor could see the hurt rising in her, and the panic of being alone and not knowing the fate or those who you loved. She wanted to be in control, but nothing she did was helping her feel it. Even now, she was losing control over her own emotion. He batted down her hands and took her shoulders, turning and pulling her in gently for a warm hug.

Reassuring arms around her were tight to let her feel safe for a few moments as he looked out into the sky, resting his chin on her head.

"Now come on. Calm down, Maya. Everything you do is for the good of your children. You know that. They know that. You did the right thing – you always do the right thing."

As for Xander, he couldn’t be sure but couldn’t break her hope.

"If there is no news on Xander, than that’s good news. Look at me, vanishing for months at a time when I had to find answers before I hurt myself or others. If he struggled, maybe he’s seeking something to return a better man for you and the children. Have faith in him. At least until you know something definite. Have faith, Maya."

He wasn’t good at comforting people, but he would always try, and if someone found solace in his arms, he wouldn’t let that feeling go until they were ready.

[member="Maya Whitelight"]

 

[Maya Carrick]

As herself poor out the rain beating down upon them both. Even then through it all the wind she could hear Connor voice come to her mind. Touching it. Being that rock he said he would be for her upon this time for her to let her guard down. Even so she couldn't help but feel his arms around her how much she must having someone to be there for her to care.

What he said was true of always hoping for the best, and being the best mother she could be in the way she had raised her children. Even then time would tell if she done a good enough job. Finding herself unable to do much of anything but to let herself go for the time. To pour out all that she held back in herself. Not health right she knew that but why didn't she take her own advice. Knowing the answer that healers make the worse patients as its for them to help everyone else put them first. "Hold me that what I need more then anything right now.

Even then she couldn't help but let it drain out of her before she even felt like speaking once again. Coming to form words again wasn't easy either as it seem that the time had went by the rained and wind had died down. Clouds could still be seen above them dark as they was still formed.

"I do Connor trust me I do tried to hold onto hope, its all I had to hold on to all these years, nothing more then that, I have put myself fully into raising our children and my work here for the healers of the Silver to make sure each is ready to face what the galaxy would have to give them full of darkness and war. Not letting go of him as she felt like she had needed this a long time coming. Even then she couldn't just break down in front of anyone no everyone seen her as being strong.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

As she spoke, he rocked gently. Maya wasn’t usually like this, and it was evident she had simply got to breaking point. Bottling up emotions weren’t healthy – he knew that – but rather they come out with someone who would listen and not judge, than come out in a rash and darker, more sinister fashion. The Force Lightning scars on his knuckles were reminders of that price to pay.

”I don’t understand how it must feel to have that connection with someone, to be so in love, and to be a parent.”

He had wanted to, but had learnt the hard way his heart was not fit for loving.

”I see great strength in those who can do that, and serve the Order. You’re as strong as ever. I think you just need to talk to people, let go of your worries and thoughts. Talk them out. Don’t bottle them up.”

Really, he knew she knew all this, but what could one say seeing a friend breakdown like this.

”He’s always been a stubborn git, Xander. Mark my words, he’ll be back and when he does you make it hell for him, ok?” He smiled, rubbing her arm, trying to inject a small amount of humour to things.

[member="Maya Whitelight"]

 

[Maya Carrick]

Even those he didn't speak any words here she was needed to let go of the past, so could full she what the future would hold. Even so she had to feel a bit guilty laying this all open upon him. Even her raw emotions could be for the most skilled Master over whelming she so she could help but feel a bit of something inside of him, laid up.

Heard his last words that he would be back, to mark his word oh how she wanted to truly believe that would happen someday and time. Even so she couldn't bring herself to full believe that now. Finding it harder to keep the storm above them going as if it had lost it power the rain and wind stopped.

I can't just let go of my worries and thoughts, you know how hard it is for me ... after all these years to even break down a little to you, no I always wanted you to see me as strong one can handle anything that handed to me the good and the bad."

Reaching up with one of her hands to the side of her cheek, patting it. As she didn't want to break there embrace not for the reason that one might think if they stumble upon them but for the pure reason it felt right, after all these years to have one like him to feel that he cared. Knowing that he would understand with after the death of some in the order she came to push herself inward so now one or could be herself be hurt.

"Connor don't let me go, no judge me as I fear the others have done, with the way I acted so foolish by just wanting to take this all upon my shoulder myself until it seem the breaking point happen I have fallen so far so very far from the very core of enlightment. I have failed myself , my kids the ones I must dear to around me.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor pulled back a little at her request to not break the hold, and looked at her as she touched his cheek tenderly. He had known Maya for over a decade and grown with her; from exploring the catacombs of the temple to fighting alongside each other, and everything else in between. He knew how strong she was, regardless of her doubt. She was still here, and that was testament to her strength.

He closed his eyes at her touch, yet another close bond he relished and helped make him feel almost human again.

”You are stronger than you know, Maya. Trust me. You’ve always been here, and you’ve always found a way back through the dark times. I don’t judge you – nobody judges you. Just....” he sighed and rubbed her arm, ”…just, don’t be afraid to let people in.”

Something he failed to do, but knew it would help. It was too late for him, but not for Maya and her future; her children. Her legacy. Connor leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, and rested his cheek on her brow.

”I don’t have to go anywhere, I promise. I’ll be here.”

[member="Maya Whitelight"]

 

[Maya Carrick]

There it was those words to let someone in, to her thought her own little world. Flashes from her past coming back not all happy or even turn out to be the best. Even so she let him finish talking before she would even think about responding back. Then came those last words and the way he looked at her with the concerns he had for her well being. It might be time for her to let those few in, had she been so caught up with her teaching and raising her the twins that she forgot to take care of herself.

Connor its easier said then done, you know its been so long that I could really trust someone to know that their would be understanding, no judgement. her thought deepen to the fact of where they where that they was both soaking wet now from her causing it all. Now came something more, as just the feeling that there was someone that understood her at this moment in time.

As she looked up at Connor with that last promise, all she wanted to believe him with out question. The flash of Xander promise to come back to her not to worry, here she was with out Xander at her side. Even then that got her emotion on the raise again. It was his simple caring kiss on her forehead that told her that he was there and back not going in where. Meaning a lot right now at this very moment as she brought her emotion under cheek.

Its good then but if you break that your going on my crap list." giving a lite chuckle. You know the warrior that sleep with in.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

”Ha! Please.”

Connor shook her gently and stood up, walking over and closing the small grill on the fire burning away inside the chiminea. Then, he turned and held out his hand.

”Walk with me, like you did years before. Let’s go around the gardens again. Show them you’re not scared, show them you’re not ashamed and feel you have to hide away.”

He smiled and waited for her to accept.

”I’d love one of your, ah…peaches.”

He flashed a care-free grin at her.

[member="Maya Whitelight"]

 

[Maya Carrick]

Grin came across her lips before taking a few steps toward Connor.

" I think I can do that for you." Finding her hand in his only to smile bigger. "Peaches it is." as play punch him. For a moment was that the carefree Maya that one met so long ago in the peach teach. You remember how shy you was and being under that tree, you remember when we first met." as she let them take one of the many paths from this place. As the path when on for a while the nature that was all around them as if somehting had happen to her she was really feeling like her self. Had she really let it all pile up on her.

"you once you had one of my Peace peaches one will never want anything but those peace peaches." lending back on his shoulder being free from all those emotions came out of her once again she was her old Maya one that everyone came to love. Peace with in her now only could do one thing that was to reach up and kiss Connor on the cheek.

"Thank you"

[member="Connor Harrison"]