First Reply Of Promises Kept

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Jedi Robes | Lightsaber
Tag: Open to a Jedi/Member of the Jakku Enclave

His morning had started far earlier than it should have.

He'd first blinked sleep away from his eyes at something like three in the morning, local time. That was for no reason in particular—Gatz had always been a light sleeper, and all it took was an odd sound to wake him. Then he'd heard the enclave's veiled hangar begin to open—he was still sleeping in his ship, as he technically wasn't a member of the Jakku Enclave and didn't want to steal a room from someone who was—which, considering how early it was, was very odd.

That turned out just to be the delivery of two new moisture vaporators for the surface. Well, actually, it had been the delivery of one. As there had been a clerical error on the manifest. Gatz had almost directed the freighter pilot to Lossa... except he was already up, and she was asleep—and probably wasn't getting much of it with a newborn. So, instead, he'd handled it himself, and ensured that the second evaporator would arrive as a priority package.

He'd almost gone back to bed then, until he realized the moisture evaporator had to be set up, and this one wasn't one of those simple dig a hole, click a button type deals. It was more complicated than that, and required someone with technical expertise to actually put it together. Of all the members of the enclave, Gatz was pretty sure that meant it was left to either him or Briana to do. He'd almost left it to Briana... except he was already up, she was most likely still asleep, and didn't she have enough on her plate?

So, with a sigh, he'd lugged the damn thing up to the surface and spent the next two hours trying to figure out how it worked. He'd grown up on Naboo. Naboo didn't need moisture vaporators. He didn't even know how they worked. But, he got there in the end. With a little time, frustration, and cursing.

Then he'd come back down into the hangar, looking to catch just a few more hours of sleep... except by then it was nearly six in the morning. Not far off from his usual rousing time. So, instead, he'd busied himself with replacing the hydraulic ram on The Red Night's boarding ramp. He'd needed to get to it for some time now anyways.

Then the new arrival had shown up. And then, and then, and then—

Now it was evening, and Gatz was taking inventory of the med bay. Bags under his eyes, datapad in his hand, he moved like a zombie, taking note of what he needed to order for the Jakku Jedi Enclave.

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Jakku Enclave
Outfit: Training Gear
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

Lily had spent the day doing intense training. The morning before the heat kicked in, she had warmed her body up with running and training her parkour skills. Improving her agility and dexterity, she knew the importance of being agility as well as strong. Making sure she could be as mobile as possible and able to chase down those that attempted to flee her. It was also great cardio that helped increase her stamina, allowing Lily to really push the limits of what she could do in a short time frame. Knowing how long she could last fighting an opponent and attempting to increase that timeline so that she could outlast those that she potentially fought in the future.

Then as midday came around, she spent it actually training the Lightsaber Forms as well as her Echani forms. It was tough, sweaty and exhausting. She was still adjusting to the intense heat of Jakku and while the enclave was not as hot as the surface, it was still a lot warmer than the places that Lily was used to. It also meant that she was shortening her usual stamina, but only in the short term. Conditioning herself to be stronger here meant that Lily could be even better in environments less hostile. Which was her plan.

It just left her a mess of sweat and exhaustion by the time she allowed herself to stop. Which was when evening was getting close. She headed to the medbay and noticed that Gatz was there, moving like a zombie it seemed. Lily assumed that he might have had an intense day like herself, though she wasn't sure. Grabbing some salve to apply to herself as she might have overdone it and could feel some of her muscles screaming in pain, she watched Gatz.

"Everything okay, Gatz?" She asked in a concerned tone, "seems you are inspecting the same inventory as when I entered a few minutes ago. Need to take a break?"

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Jedi Robes | Lightsaber
Tag: Lily Decoria

"Everything okay, Gatz?" She asked in a concerned tone, "seems you are inspecting the same inventory as when I entered a few minutes ago. Need to take a break?"

Gatz blinked in surprise, seemingly waking up from whatever trance he was in. He hadn't heard Lily come in. He hadn't even felt her presence in the Force—and sure, he wasn't as attuned to her as he was to Briana or Lossa, but he still ought to have noticed her approaching. The fact that he hadn't spoke to just how out of it he really was.

He looked down at his datapad, and as it turned out, Lily was right: he was taking inventory of their stock of anti-septic again. Which he'd already done.

"Long day." He sighed, at last, "had an early morning, dealt with some shipping issues. And then there was the new moisture vaporator to set up, and then there was another thing to do, and another, and—"

Gatz shrugged, sighed again, and set the datapad down on a nearby surface. With a groan, he allowed himself to lean up against the wall, taking some of the burden of holding himself up off of his legs.

"—now it's evening. Nothing to worry about. though. I'm sure I'll sleep like a rock tonight. But I appreciate you checking up on me."

He wouldn't, of course. Deep sleep was something that evaded Gatz every night. But if nothing else, he would probably pass out quickly. Assuming, of course, that nothing else came up during the trek between the med bay and his ship. And really, what could come up? Jakku was a small enclave. Surely he'd seen to everything that needed to be handled today.

Gatz tried to ignore the fact that he'd probably just jinxed himself.

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Jakku Enclave
Outfit: Training Gear
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

Lily listened and tilted her head, it sounded like Gatz had an early start and was running around trying to do as much as he could to help out. "You know you don't have to and can't do everything around here, right Gatz?" Lily mentioned with a concerned tone to her voice.

"Trying to do everything is only going to wear you out to point where you crash and burn." Lily continued as she massaged some of the soreness in her calves while sitting on one of the beds. "There are plenty who can do stock intake, sort out the moisture vaporator or do any of the other stuff. You are a Padawan, like me, you should be focusing on training and making sure you can become the best Jedi you can be."

She then paused and walked over to Gatz and took the stock list from him. "Go rest. Can even take a nap in here if you must, but depriving yourself of sleep and overworking yourself is only going to do more harm than good." There was a critical tone to her voice. "Can't help anyone if you are too exhausted to think straight."

She then gestured for Gatz to either head out to rest or to take up her offer of a bed in the medbay. "Look, there are even some sleep meds here if you need some." She pointed out in case he was struggling with maintaining a full night's sleep. Lily wasn't the best at doing therapy talk but she could see the issue and gave her solutions.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Jedi Robes | Lightsaber
Tag: Lily Decoria

"I'm supposed to be a Knight, actually," Gatz admitted quietly, "but I ran, when Valery told me that my ceremony was being planned. I came here to sort out my thoughts... and for other reasons."

Him? A Jedi Knight? How could he be ready? Yes, he'd come a long way from the man he used to be. Yes, he would even dare to say that he was a good man these days. But when faced with a Sith Knight, he'd lost, even with help. Raphael had lost his arm because Gatz simply hadn't been strong enough to face Adeline on his own. All that training under all those Jedi, and still he'd failed.

"I know what you're saying, Lily, and I know that you're right. But everything I handle is one more thing that your master and her cousin don't have to handle. That's the whole reason I came back here."

He'd made a promise. He'd given Romi his word. There was nothing—nothing—more important to him than looking after Lossa Aureus and Briana Sal-Soren now. That was the vow he'd made to the teacher he'd been robbed of. It was all he could do for the two women he loved as if they were family, and for the woman who had raised them as if they'd been her own.

But... he still let Lily snag the datapad from him. He, uh, didn't think he'd win if he tried to fight her for it.

"I'm not gonna stay up the whole night, I promise. But losing a little sleep is a small price to pay, if it means taking a few responsibilities off the girls' plates."

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Jakku Enclave
Outfit: Training Gear
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

It wasn't too surprising that Gatz was meant to be a Knight by now. There were plenty of people who were getting promoted lately, all deserved and some were a long time coming. Like Lossa's. Who Lily had often forgotten was meant to a Padawan like her when she first met Lossa.

"Pretty sure you just said the reason you came here was to run from being promoted. You might have found some small purpose when coming here, but you didn't leave Coruscant behind because you thought Briana and Lossa needed your help." Lily pointed out, she wasn't what Gatz had faced on the battle of Coruscant but it was clear there was a mental scar even if there were no physical ones from that fight.

It was likely that many others faced similar horrors to Gatz. "And I am sure Briana and Lossa would both tell you that you don't need to go running around doing small chores and burning the candle at both ends. They are also capable of asking for help when it is needed."

"I think right now, you need to be taking care of yourself. Can't help others dead on your feet." She stood firm, prepared to drag him to a bed if she absolutely had to. "A lot has happened recently and it's great that you want to make sure they don't have to stress out about stuff, but clearly you are overdoing it, and secondly, perhaps its best to talk with them and listen to what they actually need?"

She knew that in Lossa's and Briana's position, she would rather her friend be at her side and talk with her than just running around behind her back killing themselves to make her life easier. "Talking with them helps show that their worlds haven't gotten smaller from losing Romi."

"Also, if you don't go sleep right now, I'm just going to knock you out. It'll be easy since you are so sleep deprived I doubt you could block most of my attacks." It was a bold claim but Lily was mostly basing her chances on Gatz's sleep deprived state and less on his lack of skill.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Jedi Robes | Lightsaber
Tag: Lily Decoria

"I was coming here regardless," Gatz clarified, drooping a little bit, "the moment I felt Romi pass on Coruscant, I knew what I had to do. Being here for Briana and Lossa is the 'reason.' Avoiding my knighting ceremony is the 'small purpose.'"

He should have been indignant that Lily thought he was selfish enough to use Briana and Lossa as an excuse. Maybe he would have been, on any other day. Tonight, however, he was just too damn tired to be anything but tired. Emotion had stopped existing for him some time after lunch. Right around the time logic and reason had started to warp themselves into obsession and compulsion.

"Talking with them helps show that their worlds haven't gotten smaller from losing Romi."

But he couldn't refute that.

How many times had he wished that someone would just be there and talk to him after his mother had died? How many times had he wished for someone to grieve to? Countless. He had gone entire months without being able to vent his feelings, and it wasn't until Corazona von Ascania and Katarine Ryiah had let him talk about his parents that he'd finally been able to start shedding the trappings of his grief.

Months until someone had finally had the time to just let him talk about his feelings.

He didn't want that for Lossa. He didn't want that for Briana.

"I wouldn't know what to say. I promised Master Jade I'd look out for them, but I don't know to help them with their grief. I barely know how to deal with my own."

With a sigh, Gatz pushed himself off of the wall. He wasn't going to figure out the right words here, in the med bay, while suffering from sleep deprivation. If Lily was right about anything—and she was right about literally everything they'd spoken of these past few minutes—it's that neither of the girls would want to find out he was exhausting himself for their sake.

"Alright, alright, I'll go," he acquiesced, "no need to dispense with the asskicking."

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Jakku Enclave
Outfit: Training Gear
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

"Okay." Lily said, she hadn't meant to say it was selfish reasoning, running away could come across as a selfish thing to do. Shirking responsibilities you aren't wanting. But there was also needing to mentally prepare, she figured Gatz was more column b. Needing time to prepare for the next step, and using the chance to fill his time with mindless chores and reasoning of trying to be helpful while he figured out how to cope with that big next step.

Her steel gaze studied him, "why do you need to say anything? They might not need or want you to say something, just wanting you to listen. To be present." Lily stated, remembering the things her aunt taught her on helping those with grief. "You aren't going to solve the grief. No words will make it go away. But being there with them, offering comfort and letting them be heard. That helps in ways a lot of people don't realise."


"Time, sitting down and allowing yourself to be open and honest with yourself. Finding the things that offer comfort. They can all help and there are plenty of people here at Jakku that will listen and offer comfort to you as well Gatz. Just have to leave yourself open to them." Lily pointed out, glad that he was surrendering and going to get some sleep.

"Need an actual bed?" Lily asked, "there is still plenty of living quarters available if you need one to rest in. They aren't the best, far from it. Very stiff and only a single very scrawny pillow, but might be more comfortable than your ship?"

Lily was very clearly used to much more expensive bedding than currently offered at the enclave. Though she was on a mission to make the enclave bigger so the living quarters could be big enough so she could have all her clothing and jewellery here. Though Lossa might not agree to quarters being the size of luxury apartments...

A girl could dream.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Jedi Robes | Lightsaber
Tag: Lily Decoria

Gatz smiled. He didn't know if it was something she'd learned, or just something intrinsic to who she was, but Lily was as wise and as kind as her master. Not that he thought Briana would accept anything less of her student. But it was nice to see it all the same. The Jedi Order Gatz had left as a child had been grey and warped. It was nice to see that the Order Valery Noble had rebuilt in its stead was full of Jedi like Lily.

The trash had been gutted, and purest parts of it had remained, and had been fostered into something greater.

"Here they are, trying to knight me," Gatz said softly, "when really, they should be knighting you."

Being open. It was something he struggled with still. Being open on Nar Shaddaa meant being taken advantage of. It meant death, even, in the worst circles. But this wasn't the Smuggler's Moon. He'd been away from that place, and that life, for years now. The people around him, they weren't looking for dirt on him. They weren't looking to manipulate him.

Open. He only dared to be that with a few people. Valery, Cora, Briana, and Lossa. Katarine and Inanna too, but to a lesser extent. But maybe Lily was right (she was). Maybe it was time to risk being open to more than just a small circle of people.

What was the point in being lonely, when there were people all around him?

"Need an actual bed?"

"Oh, I'll be alright for now," Gatz shook his head, "The Red Night has been my home for a decade. Maybe one day I'll move into the enclave proper... but for now, my ship is where I'm most comfortable."

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Jakku Enclave
Outfit: Training Gear
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

Hearing the compliment from Gatz, Lily could feel her cheeks slightly redden as she blushed at such high praise. "I... That is very kind of you to say. But there is plenty that I still need to learn about the Force and Lightsaber combat." Lily was not dismissing the compliment but acknowledging there was so much more that Briana could teach her and she was in no rush to advance.

Nodding her head, she let him choose the bed on his ship, deciding to walk him to the ship. Making sure that Gatz just didn't tell her he was getting some sleep and sulking off to do some other work while she looked the other way.

"Well, hopefully you sleep a full eight hours. If not more since you have deprive yourself of it so much." Lily stated firmly, "let me know if you need anything." Standing outside the hangar bay with her hands behind her, waiting for Gatz to head off to sleep.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Jedi Robes | Lightsaber
Tag: Lily Decoria

So it turned out that Lily blushed when she was praised. At least she didn't cry and get choked up—that's what Gatz did when people told him they were proud of him. It made for real awkward moments, especially when the people complimenting him weren't, like, close to him. He sure hoped no one ever tried to lay praise on him when he was with a group of people.

Frankly, he'd switch reactions with her if he could.

"There's always more to learn. That doesn't mean you can't be ready," Gatz shrugged, "but I suppose that sounds pretty hypocritical coming from a guy avoiding his own knighting, so I'll leave you be."

Gatz noticed that Lily was trailing him to his ship. Smart girl. He hadn't been planning on slipping out from under her thumb tonight, but in the past, he'd certainly have pretended to go to bed, only to do something entirely different. But, over the last few years, he had been given more than one lecture on taking care of himself.

He still wasn't any good at it, but hey, nobody was perfect.

"Eight hours," Gatz agreed, "thanks Lily. I'll bug you if I need something. Oh, and don't feel like you have to finish inventory for me. I can pick it back up in the morning."

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Jakku Enclave
Outfit: Training Gear
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

Lily nodded her head, "I am leaving the Knighthood promotion to Master Briana. I trust her judgement on when it is ready to happen and I am not seeking to rush it." She stated with no concerns of being held back or an eagerness to rush ahead before she was ready. There nothing restricting Lily as a Padawan, there was plenty she could do and there was plenty she was able to learn and develop. While nothing stopped her learning more as a Knight or even a Master, Lily was content with her current position and would continue to attend lessons from Briana and eagerly join her on missions. A constant by her side.

As long as Briana allowed it. She knew that Briana might wish for her to stay put or handle something on her own.

Smiling warmly, "that is fine. I got some things I wish to do before I call it evening myself. As for inventory, there are plenty of Anchorites that will happily take on the task. It is their duties." Lily mentioned since she was not going to force others not to complete the tasks. "Best you not focus on that and just focus on how you are going to approach Lossa and Briana to offer your sympathies for their loss." Lily was hoping to nudge Gatz away from the mundane task and be proactive in his desires to help them.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Jedi Robes | Lightsaber
Tag: Lily Decoria

Gatz supposed that a Padawan who was in a big rush to be a Knight wasn't ready to be one. Ironically, Lily's patience was further proof that she might be more ready than she assumed. Still, he decided to let the matter rest. It wasn't his place to make that judgement anyways. And the person who was to determine if she should face the Trials was someone he had—literally—trusted with his mind.

Gatz figured Briana could be trusted with her own Padawan, then.

"Perhaps," Gatz acquiesced, "but as the guy filling in as your Chief Healer, I'd like to know exactly what I have in stock. But maybe... maybe just this once, I'll let the Anchorites handle it, so I can get some sleep..."

That, and figure out what he was supposed to do for Lossa and Briana. As determined as he was on keeping his vow to Romi, Gatz had no idea what that actually looked like. What did he know about dealing with grief, when his own often drowned him? Menial tasks they may have been, but that was all he knew how to do effectively.

But Lily was right: they were distractions, truly. Keeping stock of the medbay didn't help Briana and Lossa with what they were dealing with after losing their mentor.

"Alright. I'm gonna take your advice, and actually go to bed for once. Maybe I'll have a better idea of what to do in the morning."

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Jakku Enclave
Outfit: Training Gear
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

Tilting her head, Gatz was going to be their chief healer, that was something she had not heard about. However, she was interested in seeing what Gatz would be like as a healer since she lived her whole life seeing how her own aunt was as a healer. "My aunt, Kat Decoria, is a very skilled healer. She has been healing for a couple decades now and still learning new things so I am excited to see what you bring." Nodding her head, "knowing your stock is good but you need to trust others can do something like stock taking. Can't do any healing if you are running around ragged."

Couldn't have a chief healer that could not look after themselves. It was like having a battle master who could not fight.

"Just go see how their day is and offer something fun or casual to do." Letting them get distracted or take steps back from the whole situation and let them feel joy.