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Approved NPC OFT 1st Elite Battle Squad

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Major Faction

Varloc

Active Member
Varloc
Character Bio
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: To serve, and fight For The Order of the Force
  • Image Credit: Link
  • Role: In to fight for the members of The Order of the Force.
  • Permissions: none
  • Links: none
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Unit Name: OFT (Order of the Force Troopers)
  • Affiliation: These troopers are loyal to The Order of the Force.
  • Classification: Infantry
  • Description: These troopers done White armour with grey markings including the Order of the Forces emblam.
COMBAT INFORMATION: The units consist of 60 troopers, they all are well trained.
  • Unit Size: Medium troopers
  • Unit Availability: Rare
  • Unit Experience: Veterans
  • Equipment: They are transported using the Mach-1 faction Transport And Done Trooper armour. They also carry A280C blaster rifle.
  • Combat Function: These troopers are general use, they can defend capital ships or carry out ground invasions. But are very good in tactical missions.
Strengths:
  • They are trained in combat and are good shooters
  • They have thick armour, good for protection.
Weaknesses:
  • Armour is bulking, harder to move around.
  • Need support to carry out large assaults or defenses.
HISTORICAL INFORMATION
They were formed by and for The Order of the Force. There purpose was to be a tactical unit. This unit is used for completing hard missions using there veteran experience. This unit can survive behind enemy lines for months if they have to. Once on a desert planet with little supplies, and they survived for 4 months to recive a single data pad.
 
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Major Faction

Scherezade deWinter

The Blood Hound
Scherezade deWinter
Character Bio
Varloc Varloc

Hello hello there! I'm Scherezade and I'll be reviewing your submission with you. There are quite a few things we need to go over to kick this submission up by a few notches, but overall you got a lot of good stuff to start working with here :)

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
Click to expand...

So first of all, all the parts of the templates need to be used in the way they were meant to. This means that the DeviantArt link needs to go into the Image Credit, this means that if you're not in any need of using Permission you simply write n/a, and you do not link us to google, but rather to the page on which the image itself can be found.

To make it easier;
  • Image Credit: Insert the link directly to the DeviantArt page here (not to the google search)
  • Permissions: Write n/a
  • Links: No need for this as you have used it. You can link here to the Order of the Force, to relevant characters or threads, or anything else that might be important for the purpose of this submission.
The General Information is better, but the link to the faction page needs to be part of the Affiliation. For Description, don't link us to where we can see - this is a roleplaying board and we use words to describe our intents, so feel free to get wordy and describe them in such a way that will let readers easily understand your intent even if they can't see an image.

In Combat Information, I strongly suggest you remove the number "60" - Codex doesn't operate on hard numbers. If you want to though, you may leave that in. However, for the Equipment, please note that we do not accept links from the battlefront wikia, but only Wookiepeda (canon) and the site (other people's submissions when proper permissions have been ranted, or your own submissions). So for the blaster, I've looked it up for you, and if you could just link this instead, it would great: A280C Blaster Rifle

Strengths & Weaknesses are fine.

But for History, I really need you to elaborate more. Why were they formed? What's their purpose? Where do they get recruited? What does service like? What are events that have happened which involve them? Give us a feel for this unit, let the readers know why they should give them attention in pvp or in storyline.

I know this might seem a lot, or even daunting, but I promise you, there is good stuff in here, we just need to brand its edges a little to give it the chance it deserves to really shine. If you need any help, let me know please! And tag me back once the edits are done so I can go over this again :)
 
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