Oh, Ho, Ho, It's Magic!

[Caulder Dune]

THE ASSEMBLY CHAMBER
SECRET HUGE LIBRARY

Being invited to a certain someone's secret, huge library was an honor reserved to few. Luckily, since that certain someone was busy with their fifty-seven corporations to run and a never-ending list of government responsibilities, Adekos had been sent to the "secret huge library" instead. Again, this was not a responsibility given out lightly. Carach understood that Adekos was in a rather vengeful mood ever since the former had humped his apprentice (not once, not twice, but thrice) in the lower levels of Coruscant. But Carach also understood that Adekos happened to be a very easily placated soul. One need only give the Umbaran get what he wanted out of life to see him return to a normal, less vengeful state.

And right now what he wanted out of life was an exquisite copy of the Telos Holocron.

Normally it was [member="Dissero"] who would be called to do this work, but that man was busy. Always, always busy. Besides, they were pressed for time and he probably would have run off with at least a quarter of Carach's collection here. It had taken Carach months to track down and secure the Adas Holocron. Even with that bastardized copy of the Telos Holocron Adekos had pawned off onto Carach to seal the deal, it had still taken too long. Carach worked in mysterious ways, some would allege. Others would allege that Carach's ways were not all that mysterious, but his competence in completing tasks generally depended on whether or not there was an inordinate amount of poontang located at the end of the rainbow.

Now, prior to that plan it had simply been to make a copy of the Adas Holocron and trade that for the Darzu Holocron. But Carach had welched on the deal. Because Carach was, among other things, an idiot. Now Carach didn't want a copy made of the Adas Holocron. Carach wanted a copy of the Telos Holocron in exchange for the Holocron of Freedon Nadd in addition to Nadd's Grimoire. Now Adekos was in as agitated a state as he had been before, but who was keeping track of that, anyway?

 

[Caulder Dune]

The doors to the assembly chamber rumbled heavily and rose upward, granting Adekos entrance to the chamber. He walked inside, carrying a specialized, reinforced briefcase in both hands. Apparently the La Fey trollop Carach had duped on his behalf hid her blasted Holocron under medical waste. That was absolutely no way to treat one of the finest repositories of Sith knowledge available in the galaxy. Especially since the Jedi Order had made it their abominable task to quarantine just about any worthwhile holocron they could find. But the Adas Holocron had escaped that malignant fate, safeguarded by the leader of some now-irrelevant government and her disciple. Just as the Telos Holocron had escaped that fate through an intricate series of copies being made and Adekos sitting on it like a petulant Krayt Dragon guarding a treasure hoard.

"Pardon me, coming through." Adekos croaked, heaving the heavy case into the room after him. He practically had to drag the thing. "Gentlemen, we have a holocron to copy."

Adekos looked around at the Assembly Chamber's staff. There were about fifteen of them, all of which were Z1 Assistant Droids. Frankly, he was flattered. Carach had chosen his products to oversee his assembly chamber's operations? What a lovable oaf. Good for Carach. He still had good taste, even if he did insist on fornicating with everything with two legs and a pulse. There were no assistant droids in the galaxy that would be better suited to this task than the Z1.

Despite his praise for the droids, none of them actually moved to help him as he dragged the case to the central table, and hefted it up with a mighty groan. The case fell upon the table with a mighty thud, and Adekos input the twenty-eight digit unlock code into the side. It was far easier to remember such codes when a special cybernetic implant was installed into his head.

 

[Caulder Dune]

The case hissed as it depressurized, the locks disengaging with loud clunking noises. The entire case was made from reinforced quadranium. Totally solid, then with additional materials to protect it from sensors and x-rays. As a matter of fact, the whole case was solid, save for a hollowed out space just the right size for a holocron of any stripe. This space was also padded to ensure there was no damage to the holocron from any bumping around that transpired.

There was no name for it. Adekos was content simply to refer to it as "The Case." It was probably his favorite invention of Hannibal's, given its relevancy to the never-ending Holocron Hunt. The Z1 Droids gathered around him as he gingerly picked up the Telos Holocron and lifted it from the case. This was a device well over 5,000 years old- preserved by the mystical properties of the Dark Side. If only the Dark Side were as good as preserving its adherents as it was preserving ancient-era holocrons. Just this morning, Adekos had lost a clump of hair. No big deal, it was what transplants were for, but how terribly inconvenient.

"Do you know... What this is?" Adekos held the holocron in both hands, gazing at it as if it held the keys to solving galactic poverty, famine, and improving the galactic literacy rate.

"It is a holocron."

Adekos looked over his shoulder. There were just the Z1 Droids, staring passively at him while he tried to set the stage for him to lecture about the Telos Holocron. Right. He had forgotten that droids did not make very entertaining or engaging audiences. No matter! They would help him accomplish what he needed to, even if Adekos didn't get to engage in his usual theatrics to keep himself entertained.

 

[Caulder Dune]

"Ow- hey! What are you-"

"Excuse me."

Predictably, the Z1 staff of the Assembly Chamber were far more interested in doing their jobs than listening to Adekos pontificate about the value and power of the Telos Holocron. They also wanted to get him out of here as soon as possible. They had been playing a riveting game of sabaac before the Rogue Master had shown up. There was only just enough time to hide any trace of their game before the Umbaran rudely stomped into the room. So one of them shoved the Umbaran aside and took the holocron from him.

The Z1 who procured the holocron brought it over to a very specialized panel. The Assembly Chamber itself was a mystifying room to be within. The Rakatan Technology found within had to be at least the same age as the Telos Holocron, if not far older. The walls were filled with data structures that looked almost identical to the Jedi Archives, with the exception that they were a magnificent gold color. The foot of the walls were also crammed with an assortment of consoles which the Z1s dutifully attended.

Adekos watched as the Z1 crowd broke up, heading to their assorted stations to begin the process. The Z1 that had taken the holocron brought it over to a specialized pedestal and locked it in place. A whirring sound overtook the Assembly Chamber, the walls lighting up with a mysterious power.

"Data processing has commenced."

If Adekos had been about to say anything, he would have been interrupted. Not by the Z1, but by the towering hologram of an armored King Adas that suddenly appeared.

 

[Jairus Starvald]

There was one thing in the Galaxy that was more important than anything else.

It was more important than sex, money and any other commodity known to civilization at large. In essence it was larger than life, more everlasting than any other resource and so much more valuable in the long run.

What they were talking about was obviously knowledge.

And for knowledge? Carach would drop anything else and come running just to see it all enfold. Yes, he had told Adekos to go along on his own, use his facilities to unlock the secrets of Adas’ Holocron without him.

But as he thought longer and longer about it, Carach realized that he really didn’t care all that much about the prospective yields of the mining efforts on Excarga. They had bought mining rights on huge plots of lands there during the events of the rapturing, and today was the first mining procedure.

Didn’t change the fact that after twenty minutes of listening, he delegated his job to his underlings and set ou- Point as, he had quietly entered the room on his own accord, leaning against the wall and he saw then.

Saw the visage of Adas himself.

Carach almost wept right there and then at that magnificent beauty.

 

[Caulder Dune]

"WHO DARES TO COPY THE TELOS HOLOCRON."​

Was what Adekos was expecting the holographic guardian to say. Honestly, this was really all too easy to do. He was expecting some kind of opposition in this form, but none came. Instead, the hologram started speaking about the history of the Sith. Adekos was not particularly moved. This account, as recited by a ramshackle copy of the late King Adas, was incomplete and often contradictory. Even the Telos Holocron wasn't perfect, especially given the amount of Sith to contribute to it over the years. Needless to say, Adekos had heard this all before.

Adekos circled the holographic guardian, observing it. It did not appear to react to his presence as it often did before, which he found peculiar. He had also never seen the hologram enlarged to such a degree. As usual, things were only going to get stranger going forward. Without warning, the guardian's speech began to accelerate. At first it was barely noticeable, but then it quickly took on that high-pitched squealing sound one would expect from a fast-forwarded holovideo. Naturally, Adekos was concerned.

"What's going on here?"

"We are copying all relevant data from the holocron."

Well, obviously. Perhaps Adekos should have been more specific.

"And through what means are you accomplishing this?"

"The assembly chamber possesses a unique interface allowing for activation and reading of holocrons without a Force User to act as an activator. Lord Carach and the rest of us are unaware of the exact details of how it works." The Z1 explained this monotonously, continuing to rapidly tap at the console it was situated at to facilitate a faster transfer of data. "As he put it, 'it only matters that it works.'"

That certainly sounded like something Carach would say. Adekos and the Z1 were so caught up in their own exchange they hardly noticed Carach slip in through the still-open door.

"The assembly chamber stimulates each holocron in such a way that the guardian believes it is speaking to an optimal student. This causes the guardian to become more forthcoming with information. While the assembly chamber probes the holocron with 'questions' we are simultaneously analyzing the exact design of the hologrammic matrix for replication."

Now Adekos was tearing up, and it wasn't from the magnificent hologram projected by the holocron.