Partners In Crime (P.I.C.)

[Desmond C'artyom]

Pouring rain marked today as a special kind of day. One filled with robbery, vandalism, and most importantly, love. Today Des met that special someone. His partner in crime, the Bonny to his Clyde, the Han Solo to his Chewbacca, th- well you get it. Anyways, before all that, we have to start at the beginning...

Desmond's bantha hide boots splashed through the puddle strewn alleys of Coruscant with the fuzz hot on his tail. He had just robbed a bank, or at least atempted too.

He had threatened the teller droid with a toy DL-44, the droid gave him a lump sum in exchange for it's metaphorical life and Desmond assumed he would get away easy peasy. But, on his way out the security droid made it's way in. It easily identified the weapon as a toy, ordered Desmond to relinquish the dough or face termination and when he refused, the bank went into lock down and it open fired on him. He threw the toy at the large retired super battle droid which proceeded to fire a wrist rocket at him.

The missile streaked past him and blew a hole through the once locked, now open, durasteel door. The droid cursed it's poor aim with a "Roger, Roger!" and in it's duress, it began to suffer from the machine version of P.T.S.D., seemingly from nowhere came the cry "Watch those wrist rockets!" and poor SBD 3409 began to panic. Desmond took advantage of the moment to escape through the hole in the wall and made his way to his speeder. He threw the sack of credit sticks in the passenger seat and started up his engines.

He made it a good block before the same super battle droid came charging him with it's jet packs screaming "ROGER, ROGER!" in a deranged panicked state. SBD 3409 would not loose another target. It set itself to self destruct upon reaching Desmond's speeder and blew a hole in the craft's engine. Desmond's land ship went spiraling out of control and he crashed in a alley. He grabbed the cash and started running.

He found a dumpster droid and decided to hide in it before the police could find him. It greeted him with a series of rather rude beeps, but in the end it had no choice but to allow Desmond to hide within it's innards, as it had no arms or legs to resist. When the police ran through the alley the mechanical dumpster atempted to warn them of the criminal within it's bowels, but lucky for Des none of the officers spoke dumpster. It was here that he would be found. With the rest of his ilk. In a trash can.

[member="Lulu"]

 

[Lulu]

P A R T N E R S I N C R I M E​

​

Special someone eh?

​The rather chaotic crashing of a land ship barreling into the streets of an urban centre not only attracted the attention of the city's law enforcement agencies, but also of a rather peculiar individual, yet to make a name for herself. Lulu. Quite intimidating, eh? A name you might expect from a masked figure with no background, ready to kill. One to be feared on the battlefield maybe, or even a crimson kind of lover.

Well, whatever Lulu meant to some, it meant nothing. As of now. Today that would change.

The only thing she was guilty of right now was being criminally underdressed for the weather beating against the umber skin, just covering some areas a reinforced pair of leggings and loosely hanging shirt, and to accompany the lazy outfit a mundane pair of sneakers, perhaps the most appropriate thing for the day. She had garnered some looks previously, but the attention was drawn from the Mandalorian as the explosion of an engine boomed throughout the urban area. Unlike the rest, she had assumed whoever comandeered the speeder was indeed not at the crash site - it was too obvious.

And rather than follow the crowds of people down the busy main road, now cordoned off by police officers, she made way for a back alley. And ran head first into a dumpster droid.

"Watch where you're going you insolent conglomeration of metal!"

Her patience had ran out for today. First the rain. Second the looks. Now a garbage droid of all things? No. Without a second thought as she made an accompanying appropriate grunt, her powerful leg retorted back and then slammed into the droid.

~ [member="Desmond C'artyom"] ~

 

[Desmond C'artyom]

Desmond lay in his current space completely content to sit in the dumpster until the police left, but something about the smell forced his hand. While he did praise himself for being an incredible smell discoverer, he did not appreciate the stench of rotten fish and booma fruit. So he opted to leave a little early. Desmond twisted round in the container, grabbing hold his cash and pressed hard on the trash can's lid. The trash bin beeped furiously at him, something about how it was going to tell the authorities as soon as it found one that spoke garbage bin. Desmond grunted furiously, ignoring the waste bucket and pressing on the lid even harder. It was no use. The bin had sealed itself tight and would not free him.

"Alright, what do you want?" Desmond sighed.

The dumpster paused it's beeping for a moment, then continued again. It wanted half the credits. Desmond's eyebrows arched in disbelief.

"Why, on Coruscant would I do that?!?" Desmond yelled whilst still testing the lid, this time more forcefully.

The droid beeped again. It started speaking about how it's entire existence it had had a metaphorical dream. Desmond stopped pressing on the lid and sighed in defeat. He laid back in the garbage and decided their was no way out. Meanwhile the droid continued to beep at it's helpless hostage. It was just happy to finally have someone to listen. It beeped about ever since it was but a mere garbage pail all the way to the point at which it somehow became a large dumpster it had wanted one thing. Desmond sighed more ferociously, already tired of listening to the trash can's sob story.

"Shut up!" He said with hands pressed to ears whilst kicking the bin walls with a foot.

The can did not relent. It's whole entire metaphorical life, it beeped on. It had wanted to fly. Desmond frowned at the thought of the dumpster growing a pair of wings and flying away. He shook his head at the ridiculous thought and the Dumpster went on. With half the credits it could afford to get it's memory drive and processor installed into a ship. Desmond frowned again. He wasn't sure how he felt about droids having metaphorical sex changes, but in the end couldn't help but feel bad for the, ship, born dumpster. But, that was no reason to hold him captive!

Then something peculiar happened. While the bin was distracted with talking to Desmond. Someone ran into it.

"Watch where you're going you insolent conglomeration of metal!"

Came a cry from outside and Desmond smiled! The trash can stopped it's beeping at Des and made a rather facetious comment about the newcomer and her attire. Something about how she looked like something the dumpster had thrown up.

"OHHH, BURN LADY!" Desmond yelled from within the garbage can. Then he began again, reminding himself that if this woman did not help him, he would probably rot with the rest of the garbage.

"Excuse me, sorry miss, if you would be so kind as to let me out of this machine, I will be eternally in your debt,"

The garbage responded by calling him a criminal and a thief.

"Liar! I am a Chiss of most upstanding character!" Desmond shouted back in defense.

The garbage bin beeped on about the credits he had stolen and told the woman to go get the authorities.

"No! Don't get the authorities! Look, free me and we can split the cash three ways!"

The garbage bin started to beep about how it wasn't sure if that would be enough for it's operation

"An- and! I'll install you into my ship, myself," He said reluctantly at first, but finished very matter of factually.

The bin paused for a moment. Then beeped curiously at the girl. Waiting patiently for her answer.

[member="Lulu"]

 

[Lulu]

The woman's brow furrowed. Did that thing just speak? Another less driven kick made its way into the garbage droid. She had heard of droids speaking, that much was obvious... but never a garbage droid having a voice replicator capable of copying a Chiss' voice. Am I going crazy? It kept speaking. The droid seemed to have multiple personalities talking to itself. This was like an episode of Kyrknaman, only there was no arachnid blessed superhero here to detain the supervillain garbage droid.

But then the puzzles came together. Along with a short sigh.

"So you're the one who crashed the landspeeder? The entirety of the CSF is looking for you." She paused herself. I am literally going crazy. I am saying a droid crashed the landspeeder. "N-No, not you. Whate-.. Whoever is inside of you." The stout woman then reached behind her back, grabbing a loose chain which was her weapon of choice, carried for insurance rather than because she was a violent criminal - like some - and gripped it tightly with her right fist, though keeping it hidden from the droid as best she could. "I'll release you from this contraption under one condition."

But perhaps she could use such a situation to her advantage. The aspirations of a droid that she could not understand were keeping the Chiss man imprisoned within it, not to mention the looming threat of an evergrowing investigation making its way soon to their position.

"First, I'll take a third of those credits." announcing proudly, her tone seeming to have shifted less from confusion and shock and now to being bold. "Second, you allow me to help you in the future."

What an odd request indeed; but it had been a long time indeed since she felt the thrill of combat. Even if that meant getting her hands dirty temporarily.

"And third if you're going to install that droid on your ship, you're going to ensure its not got a 'mental disorder'" airquoting with her remaining hand "while I'm on it."

~ [member="Desmond C'artyom"] ~

 

[Desmond C'artyom]

The woman made her demands and Desmond rolled his eyes in response. A little more than one condition... The Chiss thought, but he supposed he had no choice but to agree. Besides, maybe she was bangable!

"Alright! Just let me out!" Came his reply and the dumpster droid beeped in assent.

Desmond heard the lid locks disengage and pressed on the top once more. It came free with a hydraulic hiss. Literal green stink clouds wafted out of the bin and Desmond almost gagged at the rejuvenated aroma. He bent low and retrieved the cash bag from within the garbage can. His eyes took a moment to adjust to the dreary light and when he stood up he spied the one who he now owed a third of his earnings too. A non descriptive human woman. She looked a little older than Desmond liked, but he supposed beggars couldn't be choosers. He tossed the bag to her and hopped out of the can.

"Cover me," He said, a hint of his Imperial accent seeping into his voice.

He went behind the trash can and began unscrewing the manifold. He saw that the droid's innards were covered in gunk which probably gave it a plethora of personality defects, all though he was no droid psychiatrist, he figured he should probably get a diagnostic scan on the machine when he got the chance. Regardless, Desmond saw the machine for the loving dumpster it was and not the disgusting garbage inside.

He unplugged the memory drive and processor from the motherboard and stood up. The garbage bin shut down with an electronic whir and Desmond heard the naked processor beep. My hero! He sighed and wondered out of the pair of females which would he try to smash first... The machine with a literal hammer or the human with his more metaphorical one.

Whatever the case was it would have to wait. A pair of officers were encroaching on the trio and Desmond didn't want to stick around to answer questions.

"Let's beat it toots," Desmond said with a nod of his head, motioning that they go further down the alley.

"I'm Desmond by the way," He said with an outstretched hand, all though it was in no manner of hand shake. He simply wanted to hold the cash.

[member="Lulu"]

 

[Lulu]

"What the ch-.." viscerally recoiling as the can opened. At first, she wasn't sure what to be more surprised about; the fact she was witnessing a Chiss crawl out of a garbage droid, or the fact that the comical noxious clouds found in cartoons were now attempting to breach her nose and infuse it with an even more toxic dose of trash. Following a short cough as she acclimatized to the bad smell, her left arm reached out, catching the the bag and moving a tactful distance away to give her airways a respite from the airborne assault. "Whatever you sa-.." then coughing once more.

As her legs strutted into position, taking overwatch on the rest of the alleyway, her auburn eyes squinted at the flashing lights in the distance, whether those be the spotlights of nightclubs of the Coruscant skyline, or the spotlight of a police helicopter she could not be sure, but for now they were safe in seclusion.

"Toots?" she chuckled, throwing the bag back to Desmond, then swivelling round and running backwards at the same pace as Desmond. "I think you'll find it's Lulu. You can call me Toots once we're not at risk of dropping soap in the slammers."

Her right hand moved back to the chain, dragging the remaining 2 meters from seemingly nowhere given her current attire and revealing a sickle at the end of it, coiling the extra chain on one of her arms and preparing an offensive posture. "Now do you need anymore work on that droid? I'll slaughter the pigs if you want."

~ [member="Desmond C'artyom"] ~

 

[Desmond C'artyom]

Lulu? More like lunatic... Desmond thought privately to himself. He caught the bag of credit sticks with his extended hand. While it did feel good to hold the small lump sum within his grasp, Desmond could not help but sigh. Ten thousand credits split three ways was not going to last long... Regardless Desmond smiled as his sigh extinguished itself. He already knew what he was going to do with his share. Their was a specific new strain of spice he wanted to try sold at a nightclub where the girls were fast and easy. He could not wait to rail a line off an "exotic dancers" proverbial mountains!

His slight arousal was interrupted by the machine's angsty beeping. Desmond turned round to look at the woman as she threatened the machine and police. A bead of sweat began to roll down Desmond's brow despite the cool weather. This lady was batty bonkers! Desmond stopped himself from audibly gulping and reminded himself that she was on his side, and, to never cross the loon.

"No need for that darling... We just have to get to my ship. Play it cool and ever-" Desmond was cut short as a blaster round streaked above his head.

"That's him! Set laser's to stun and arrest them!"

Desmond began running and didn't look back.

"You can kill them if you'd like, but i'm outta here!" He cried out in a tone of voice that was a little more squeamish than he would've liked. His ship was a mere five blocks from them. If they could make it there they'd be home free!

[member="Lulu"]

 

[Lulu]

"Don't wait up for me, darling." A blaster bolt was sent barelling towards her left arm, an attempt to disarm the woman's clearly intimidating weapon. It scraped by just barely, leaving a scorch mark and causing a retaliating throw of the sickle at one officer within close range of the two ,stopping herself for a few seconds, aimed to miss a few meters from the female human officers head and just at the right moment she pulled back and ran the chain to the other side, causing the sharp sickle to make a clean incision into her neck.

By no means enough to kill her. But that wasn't her intention.

The sickle then ran clean out. A drip of blood turned into a small stream as a yelp of more shock than pain came down, causing the other officer to sigh, taking point just a few meters ahead and continuing to fire at the three. If Desmond wasn't going to let her have some fun, the least she could do is decrease the chances of apprehension. Covered in a sanguine liquid, the sharp end returned to her hand as she reeled it in, still running.

"Now why don't you tell me why a handsome man such as yourself needs so many credits? If it's good enough, I might just let you take my share." she grinned as she shouted at him, now running to try and keep up the pace, all the while more blasting shots threatening to disable her even at such a distance from the non-injured officer.

~ [member="Desmond C'artyom"] ~

 

[Desmond C'artyom]

Desmond needn't be told twice. He ran, and kept running. He wasn't about to stop until he reached the tin can that he called his ship. The occasional blaster bolt and the machines terrified beeping (They're gonna arrest us! Run faster you twit! Do you know what they'd do to dumpster droid like me in jail!?!?) prodded Desmond to speeds he never thought possible. His leather clad feet reached heights that would make even the fastest man alive envious. He was border line hydro planning on the filthy puddles. He reached the alley corner and hooked a right. He silently hoped the woman had been fried so that he could keep her share, but was sorely dissapointed when her voice could be heard from behind him.

"Now why don't you tell me why a handsome man such as yourself needs so many credits? If it's good enough, I might just let you take my share."

Desmond was besmirched. He supposed he'd have to tell the woman if they were going to be partners. Or he could just double cross her, but it wasn't in Des to do that. No, he would have to give her the truth, at least part of it. This was going to be complicated and Desmond thought the female might just walk out on him the moment he told her. He waited till they had garnered some distance down the street and merged into a crowd. Many among the parade of Coruscanti civilians shied away from Desmond, he supposed it had something to do with the the visible stink wafting off of him, but he didn't mind, it just meant those around were less likely to hear what he was about to say.

"I'm a cybernetically modified clone of a soldier of the Empire. This man's memories are flash printed into our cybernetics, but I escaped before they could flash print his into mine... I managed to erase the DNA sequence that allowed for the cloning process. As far as I know i'm the last of his 'Siblings'," Desmond spoke under his breath, pausing for a moment to let what he had said sink in then continuing again "Now i'm wanted by the Empire and I need cash to disappear,"

He left out the fact that the Chiss he had been cloned from was in fact a personal spy and assassin for the leader of the Empire itself. That Tanomas Graf sent kill teams after Desmond for fear of the Imperial secrets locked deep within his cybernetics. That he would probably never likely be able to disappear and that the rest of his life would probably be spent on the run. He sighed as he was reminded of his situation, but his sadness lasted only for but a moment, and he was sure to keep his face impassive. He had to keep on keeping on, you know?

[member="Lulu"]

 

[Lulu]

The chain and sickle, still reeking of blood, was wiped with the mercenaries otherwise clean hands and then sheathed back into its peculiar position - tucked underneath the layer of clothing she presented outwardly, but above yet another layer of reinforced underarmor, preventing her from gashing her thighs. As they roped into the crowd seemingly unnoticed despite the altercation, Lulu removed a small scented bottle of vanilla body spray, trying to blend back into the mundane nature of a civilians life by masking the scent of death and rotting garbage that encircled her ever since she was within breathing distance of Desmond.

"How convenient," she chuckled speaking at a similar volume, now much more soft and confident in tone, "Well Desmond, it looks like I have no need for my share of the credits after all." She paused, glancing away and then back to him, a slight grin plastering itself across her face, followed by a much more serious expression and accompanying tone. "On one condition. I will gladly assist you in getting as many credits as you need to escape Imperial authority, so long as you allow me to record your genetic profile to pay off a rather expensive debt."

"Of course you can refuse, but I hear the Emperor doesn't take kindly to defectors. I can explain more if you wish, however given the circumstances I suggest we go somewhere a bit more... private."

And she would gladly elaborate if so desired. Such as she was effectively enslaved to an A.I who also had a debt to pay off to someone even more important. It was all rather realpolitik in a sense, though for Desmond and Lulu, they were at the bottom of the metaphorical ladder.

~ [member="Desmond C'artyom"] ~

 

[Desmond C'artyom]

Desmond sighed as the woman offered her services in exchange for his gene's. He was about to tell her where she could shove his genes and her services too, but then rescinded the offense. No, he could not. Unless he was literally shoving his genes in her, then maybe. Besides she knew his secret now and it appeared he was not going to get rid of her that easily. She was capable in a fight and Desmond needed a little bit of muscle if he was going to pull off larger heist. He could think of more than one scam in which a pretty woman could come in handy too. So, in the end he had no choice but to relent.

Desmond's nose crinkled as the sweet smell of Vanilla filled the air. The processor beeped something about how it smelled like a french whore house after which Desmond replied "Oui, oui," bringing a small grin to his otherwise plain expression. He would've given the droid a high five had it had hands, but alas his sly grin would have to suffice. He turned to look at Lulu and spoke again.

"Very well, I agree to your terms, but you're gonna have to explain more once we're aboard my ship," He said matter of factly.

Desmond looked back to notice the police had merged with the crowd and begun scanning facial signatures, but had not quite caught up to the trio as of yet. It mattered little as they had reached the abandoned warehouse in which Desmond had landed his ship. He dipped out of the crowd of nine to fivers and into another alley.

[member="Lulu"]