Private Piecing it together

[Rasu Gan]

Marek S`hadar

Much had changed since her last visit to the planet Voss. The planet had seemed almost abandoned, all remnants of her old life as a member of the Silver Jedi Order having vanished with the departure of her people. Seceding from the Order had been a difficult decision but there was nothing to gain by remaining in their ranks. Everything had changed it seemed so it was now time for Rasu to return to Voss one final time and farewell the memories she had made here.

Entering her residence, Rasu found herself smiling at what she thought would be a painful experience. Marek and Rasu had never been one for taking or hanging holo's so the walls remained bare. In fact as she continued through the property, it dawned on the Jedi just how absent she had been on the planet and her apparent home. She couldn't even remember the last time she had visited. Rasu never was one to settle and the lack of attention or detail in her home made this fact quite clear. Home had never been a place for her. Home was her friends, home was her family. Rasu's home was Marek.

She had been offered to reach out to Marek during her time with Matsu on Ahch-To but the Shi'ido had been too afraid to learn the truth surrounding her husband. Her lost memories may have the answer to her husbands fate but she had no success remembering anything as of yet. Whether Marek was still living or not, she felt strongly that he had some part to play in piecing together her fragmented memories. She had woken up alone on that unknown world with no knowledge of her purpose there. She had hoped Matsu would be able to provide some answers or at least give her a clue as to what had happened to the Jedi Master but the Atrisian had found no solution. Voss had seemed the next logical step. Sitting down on her marital bed, Rasu wondered if this journey was to consume the remainder of her long life-span. She curled up into a ball, feeling the weight of her worry and anxiety press down upon her. After what felt like hours, the Shi'ido finally drifted off to sleep, curled up on the bed that husband and wife had once shared.

 

[Marek S`hadar]

It'd taken so long to find his way home. He'd searched the stars, every imaginable territory, all in the hope of finding some kind of hint, some clue that at least one person he cared for had not simply vanished. But he'd found nothing. Marek did not surrender to hopelessness, she'd not have wanted that, but it was not a battle he saw himself winning much longer. And thus, he'd gone home. His brother, despite sharing a birthday with Marek, had aged far more gracefully last S'hadar had seen him, even with the stims and drinking, but Marek had not had such good fortune.

Dark hair had become flecked with gray, and before long it had become gray flecked with dark instead. His bones ached, his scars burned, and he felt empty even in the embrace of the force. That was until he'd come into orbit above Voss, and every second he'd spend descending since. He didn't let himself believe, it would've been too easy, too good to be true, it was likely some trick. But as the ground grew closer, his heart began to race.

It felt needlessly cruel to keep her from him, he often reminded the all surrounding force. He'd be a footnote in her life, a fond memory told to some other long after he'd returned to the living force along with most other memory of him, the least he could have was more time with her. But they both kept just...slipping away, Marek had thought leaving for the unknown together might've saved them from that, but he'd been wrong.

What had happened was a mystery to him beyond the vaguest of circumstances. There had been a dark temple, a strange artifact, and the rest was a blur. With any luck, she'd tell him one day, and as their home came into view, Marek began to feel luckier and luckier. His starcraft swooped low, and he practically leapt from the opening canopy, almost allowing himself to hope before stomping it out.

It was likely just some residuals of her presence long ago, of the life they had, nothing more. He would not hold out hope for the impossible, he'd long since outgrown such self-loathing. He approached slowly and eased open the door to the simple home even slower as if protecting himself from whatever harsh reality lay on the other side. But with each open door, it became harder and harder to delude himself.

Someone had been there, someone was there. But still, he held himself back, kept himself in line. Marek continued down the hall, past the empty room of a child whose fate he did not know, and to a door, he had closed years ago and expected to never again open. He drew in a deep breath, dropped the hood from his head, then pushed in on the exhale.

And there she was, more beautiful than ever, more than he could ever hope to imagine. But he didn't believe, not fully, his mind had lied to him before. Shakily Marek stepped forward into their room, looking down on the sleeping form on their bed, and found his voice.

"Are you real?"

Rasu Gan ​

 

[Rasu Gan]

Rasu found herself not wanting to get out of bed. Still curled in a ball she forced herself to open her eyes and winced as sunlight blinded her vision. Moaning as she sat up, Rasu extended her arms and was rewarded with a click as her joints popped in protest at the stretch. Letting out a deep sigh, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. It was then that she sensed the other presence in her bedroom.

The Jedi Master leapt to her feet in alarm, bounding across the room with reflexes enhanced by the Force. Instinctively she raised a barrier around herself with the Force, anticipating some sort of assault. Rasu raised her fists as she studied the man who had entered her room. The figure stood frozen, staring at the woman wracked with emotion. Rasu felt a gasp escape her lips and her heart seemed to stop.

His face had hardened with age. The remnants of his dark hair had been overcome by flecks of gray but she could still recognise the scars she had often traced with her hands. She could still recognise those soft eyes that she adored drowning in as they embraced on the very bed she had laid to rest in. It was still her Master, her husband, her beloved.

"Marek..." her voice trailed off in a croak as her knees buckled and the woman collapsed to the floor. Tears rolled down her cheeks as her body shook with emotion. All the worry, dread and guilt she had felt when thinking of Marek came rushing at her all at once and left her a blubbering mess.

Marek S`hadar

 

[Marek S`hadar]

She tried to fall, to collapse in on herself, but Marek didn't allow it. He held her there, kept her in his arms, half to keep her up, half to assure himself it was not some fabrication of his mind. One hand turned her head to his, and he pressed his forehead to hers, and let her cry into him. As much as Marek wanted answers more concrete then those which he could only gather based off assumption, those could wait, as what he had now was all he needed to know.

She'd not abandoned him on purpose, of that much he was sure.

"You're real." He managed quietly, keeping her to him, holding her steady. "I thought I'd lost you for good this time, Rasu."

He held himself together, barely, but he did so for her as they stood in the house meant for them that had been quiet far too long. His eyes clouded, moistened, but nothing fell from his eyes as he gently rubbed the woman he loved on her back, trying to soothe the sobs that shook her. They could ask questions soon, but there were other matters to attend to first, things a deal more pressing. He wiped her tears, and kissed her without hesitation, as deeply as he could. It was the only thing that could fully prove it to him now. And thus it did.

Rasu Gan ​

 

[Rasu Gan]

The Shi'ido gripped her husband tightly, refusing to let him vanish from her life once again. As he pulled her head to his, Rasu's sobbing softened. The pair sat like this for what seemed like an eternity, but it would never have been enough for the woman. Thinking back on their shared life it seemed that the couple were never together for long. Rasu vowed she would change this. She would destroy those who would keep them apart. She felt an anger grow within her fueled by her frustration. Her sobbing had ceased now however, her body continued to shake with the weight of her growing emotions.

Shocked by her own anger, Rasu snapped back to reality. She could normally control such negative thoughts and emotions and the fact that she had given in to such worried the woman. Perhaps this was due to the emotional reunion? Yes she would accept that for now as any other theory would only lead to more worry. But it was a problem for another time as it was time to be in the moment with her husband. Her shaking stopped as she took a few deep breaths before locking eyes with Marek. She fell into his kiss and brought a hand to cup his cheek, rubbing a thumb over the silver beard that covered his jaw.

"You'll never lose me again." she said, smiling softly. Wrapping her arms around him, she held him in a deep embrace. Rasu was happy to sit this way forever, never letting go of the man she loved.

Marek S`hadar

 

[Marek S`hadar]

He melted quickly and kept her close. Was this a gift? Some attempt at reparations by the universe for all it'd put him through in the long years of his life? In truth Marek didn't know, how could he after all? All he knew is that she was there, they were together once again. This time, hopefully for the duration of his life. The contentment to sit in that moment forever was mutually held, and he made no move to break the embrace and return to the world, all that mattered, for now, was in his arms.

"I never lost you, I just didn't know where you were." He answered softly, unsure if he was making a joke or trying to say something genuinely heartfelt, and at the moment it didn't really matter. Time passed, how much of it he didn't know, nor did he care, but eventually his knees began to ache ever so slightly, and he broke the embrace to take a seat on their bed. She didn't look different, just as radiant and stunning as the day she'd found herself assigned his padawan. But he was almost surprised she recognized him, though that was likely born of self-doubt more than anything.

"I love you."

He wondered, selfishly, if there would be someone after him, and if they'd know well enough to see her the same way, inside and out. But he had time, at least some of it, and he wanted to do anything other than waste it at that moment. So he started with the basic questions and would go from there.

"Are you alright? No serious wounds? I've been worried as you can imagine." Marek seemed to falter, shaking his head with a small smile as a single tear fell down his cheek.

"I can't believe you're here, I thought...I thought I'd never find you."

Rasu Gan ​

 

[Rasu Gan]

"I love you."

His words echoed in her mind and lingered there, sending her heart a flutter. Even years after their marriage Marek's words could still make her heart race. She smiled brightly, all traces of her episode of sadness melted away as she pulled him into another kiss, this one longer and deeper than their first.

"And I love you." she said, staring into his deep blue eyes. She took his face in and gazed at the familiar scars, scars that she had studied many a night when they had shared this room. She continued to take the man in as he made his way to the bed. His worry had her grin once more. It was comforting to know he cared for her just as much as she did for him. As a tear slid down his cheek, Rasu shuffled over to him, catching it as it traced down his face.

"You don't need to worry about me. I'm tough." she said, lowering her neck to rest her head on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his legs and embraced them. "I didn't think I'd see you again either my love. I..." she faltered, wondering whether it was the time to share her own worries with her husband. Perhaps Marek would be able to shine some new light on this mystery of her memories or would this news only leave him more concerned than he had been during their absence. Ignoring her fears, Rasu instead placed her faith in Marek.

"There is something that I have been worried actually." She hesitated, trying to find the right words. "I am worried there is something wrong with me. I have no memory of the last few years. I had no clue where you were, if you were alive. Something has happened to me Marek, and it scares me that I don't know what that is."

Marek S`hadar

 

[Marek S`hadar]

"Worrying is my job, Rasu."

Marek wanted to give her answers, grant her some kind of understanding, but he himself had only bits and pieces. There was the temple, the dark force, the surge, and then inky blackness. He recalled more, but putting it into words was difficult, and what ones he had never made any sense when he spoke them aloud. Still, he'd give her what he could, he'd give her anything.

"We were on the frontier, investigating...something, the details I do recall are clouded. There was some temple, old, very old, something happened. When I woke you were gone. I'm not sure how much time passed, I'm afraid Talos couldn't recall much either. But beyond that specific event, I recall everything else. Where we were, why we were there, and so on, yet I can't put the planet's name to my tongue. I know it, I can see it in my mind's eye, but for the life of me I cannot name it." Marek exhaled with exasperation.

"Do you have any clues where you might've gone? When did you regain consciousness?"

Rasu Gan ​

 

[Rasu Gan]

It seemed Marek had little memory of their shared events much like Rasu. Her husband at least remembered fragments that might explain why they had both suffered since their return. She was grateful that Marek could provide more details but still together the couple could not piece the whole picture together. The Dark temple mentioned had no effect on the Shi'ido however she did recall leaving with Marek on their journey to the frontier worlds. She could see the planet in her head. The barren world would forever be burned into her memory after waking up only days ago. It had left a scar on her aura that would not heal, a constant reminder of the suffering she could no longer remember. She had been alone, confused and without any of her belongings. It was a miracle of the Force that she had been able to get off-world. She dreaded having to return again, but perhaps with Marek by her side, it would be less of an ordeal.

The mention of another set Rasu's heart sinking. She had memories of only Marek and herself and the way that her husband said their comrades name made her feel as if she should recognise this person. She didn't want to disappoint Marek further however there would be no point hiding things from him. Thinking carefully over the last few days before finding the courage to return to Voss, Rasu finally spoke.

"I too can't think of a name but I can find my way back if it is something we both want to do Marek?" she asked, her lip quivered slightly in fear as she thought back to her days of panic and despair. However she recovered, not wanting to alarm her husband, knowing that she could not hide her emotions from him. Whatever had happened at this temple would remain a mystery until they returned once more and they could finally shine more light on their situation Despite her apprehension to return, Rasu felt it was a journey she must take. Hopefully Marek felt the same. "It was hard. Not having you there, not knowing where you were."

"I remember our journey to the frontier worlds," she said, quickly changing the subject, "but I don't remember a Talos I'm afraid. Is this someone you have met since we've been separated?"

Marek S'hadar

 

[Rasu Gan]

[Double post]

 

[Marek S`hadar]

"Just a boy I took under my wing, that's all. The time to see him can come later." He assured her, finding her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. Talos was the easy part of her words to respond to, the rest were much more difficult. Without her life had been empty, and filled the truth of their marriage gnawing at him, that he would die one day, long before her, and fade from her memories until he was nothing more than a few recollected sights and sounds. That had always been their fate, he and his Rasu Gan , but he'd always fought to keep his chin high.

"It was hard without you too, love. We can find our way back, but is it worth the risk?" He sounded almost as worried as he was, fearful even as the warrior he was, that this time, when she remembered him it would be too late, and he would be gone from the world. Just ashes and whispers in the force. But he recognized that they had a duty beyond the one to each other and that they still had an obligation to try and stop whatever it was, rather than leaving it to someone else.

"But where you go, I follow."