Puzzle Pieces

[Anara Valnor]

Stretched out upon a chaise on the balcony Anara lay with one arm draped over her abdomen and the other over her forehead. It looked as though she were simply napping, but in fact she was deep within the Force. Her mind was far from her body and it appeared as though she weren't breathing.

Dressed for comfort she didn't move upon the chaise for hours until suddenly her chest heaved as she returned to the conscious world. Inhaling her arm shifted from across her forehead as vibrant molten orbs fluttered open. Her eyes slowly refocused as she sat up, pulling her knees to her chest as a strong wave of sadness washed over her.

The past few weeks had been trying, but slowly Anara was piecing her past together. James' resources were proving most helpful in tracking down information about herself. Already she'd learned a great deal about herself, but still none of it told her much of past. It seemed only a few years ago she had never even existed, but that wasn't even possible.

With the information she'd gathered about herself leading her to a dead end Anara had turned to the Force. Hours upon hours she spent in meditation, her mind and spirit traversing the Force. Her time with James was becoming less and less as she threw herself more deeply into the Force, however, as she sat there with her arms wrapped around her legs Anara realized that perhaps she needed to focus a bit more on the present.

Tears clouded her vision as she sat there quietly, reaching out to James through the Force and calling for him. What she'd seen, pulled from the recesses of her mind, was to hard to believe. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't.

[member="James Justice"]

 

[James Justice]

The time between their talks was getting longer, and James was--well he was busy too, but doing other things. The Sith were on the verge of a civil war, and for it, he was preparing. Jack Raxis, a personal friend and business partner, had started a clan in the Mandalorians. The spacer had joined them. An Alderaanian had contacted him, requesting assistance in building their homestead, and now he was gathering resources and allies to do so. That wasn't even adding what the Black Tie Syndicate had begun to ask of him. James had done horrific things, with his bare hands. The sort of thing that composes nightmares. Lady Kay had been in danger, he had rescued her. The Battle of Roche had required him to take place, and the the fall out there of was more than requiring his attention. And then there was his fling with Nyx......

Everyone wanted a piece of the King of Crime these days.

The spacer was trying to ignore where his life was going. How he had become more savage and brutal than he ever dreamed was possible in the matter of a few months. He sighed and shook his head, staring at the holographic maps that were needed. He was painstakingly going over the routes and where his many smugglers were at, and what they had. A business had to be kept floating, and often it was on his own shoulders.

His shoulders. The ones that seemed to carry the weight of the galaxy these days. Sure, he still gave everyone the "mate" and 'vode' they wanted with the care-free smiles, but he could feel himself cracking. Breaking. And there was It. Constnantly looming on the horizon, he could feel It coming, slowly coming for him. One day It would happen and he woudln't be able to hide anymore. What was It? James didn't know, but he knew it would be here.

He could feel Anara thinking about him and frankly--it was creepy. But he got up and began trotting toward her anyway. She was probably having another nightmare and he felt it was his duty to help her. He promised, didn't he? Besides he needed a smoke break.

"Hey, hella sexy," he said forcing a care-free sound in his voice and face, "What ye got?"

[member="Anara Valnor"]

 

[Anara Valnor]

"I remembered something," she breathed, not meeting his gaze as she instead turned away to wipe her tears from her face. The last thing she wanted to do was worry him and with a soft sniffle she got her appearance back in check. Standing she moved to join him at the railing, lithe arms snaking around one of his as she leaned into him. "I'm just not sure...I believe it," she breathed as she closed her eyes and basked in his scent.

She could hear as much as feel the turmoil within him and while her own journey of remembrance was important to her, James was more so. He'd done so much for her and she felt that there was more she could do for him, more that she should do for him.

"Missed you," she murmured, nudging him lightly as she sought to bring a genuine smile to his lips. The Darkness within her, the voices that so desperately wanted to sink their unholy claws into him, felt a familiar pull within him. He was struggling in a way she knew all to well and though she still walked the path of Darkness Anara did not want that for James; he was better than that.

 

[James Justice]

James wrapped his arms around her and let the woman nuzzle herself in his arms and body. His hand ran through her scarlet hair, "I missed ye too."

He savored the feeling of a woman in his arms for the moment. Just enough to forget the worlds bearing down on him. No one had ever asked him to try and save the galaxy, but really, who said the had to ask? They needed saving and he would do everything he could to do it.

"It'll be alright," he surrounded her with his pheromones, and unknowingly his aura and force signature.

The spacer always looked to forget his problems.... with other problems. Or by making new ones. He decided to do both. The spacer fished a cigarette from his pocket and lit it up, taking puffs before taking a seat. His arms held Anara close the whole time, guiding her to sit in his lap, pulling her side close to his chest. The place was abandoned, his workers had all moved on for the time being. James was glad, he needed as much time away from the screaming world as he could get.

"What do ye remember?" he murmured softly, letting himself get lost in her golden eyes.

[member="Anara Valnor"]

 

[Anara Valnor]

"My birthday," she murmured, holding his gaze before suddenly looking away, a frown upon her lips. "But...it can't be right..." she sighed, enjoying being so close to him.

"I'm nearly 450 years old...unless I'm a clone...but nothing we've found indicates that..."

Shaking her head, Anara shifted against him so that she could face him. She was nearly straddling his lap, but the intimate nature of her position didn't seem to bother her. Their relationship, if that was what one wished to call it, was peculiar. His feelings for her were known to her, despite him never uttering a word, but her own...

Anara had been thinking long and hard about it all. How James felt and how he in turn made her feel. Fear kept her from admitting it freely, but Anara suspected that she was falling for him. She didn't believe herself capable of such things, but James had a way of proving her wrong in the most surprising of ways.

"I remember my birthday...and my parents...and my brothers...and it's all the same. They've been dead for hundreds of years, but...I'm not...and I don't know why..."

 

[James Justice]

James listened, letting a few billows of smoke from his lips. He nodded once. Twice. Three times. It was important for a woman to know that the man was listening, James had found. Nodding seemed to be the best way, from what he had discovered; it showed interested and left his lips free to puff away on his tobacco.

"I see," he said at last. He let out a heavy blow of smoke. Already in a span of a few short seconds he had already puffed through half the cigarette. It was his nervous habit. His thinking habit. His angry habit. Anytime he was feeling those emotions intensely, his cigarette usage went up dramatically. It didn't take long to figure that out when you knew the spacer.

"I ain't gonna pretend to know the answer," he said, pulling the light from his lips and resting the hand holding it on her knee, "and I ain't gonna pretend to know how that happened. But," he gave her a tired smile, "I will do whatever it takes to help ye."

"Sir, your ale is here," said a servant droid from the doorway bearing a bottle of the golden liquid.

James waved it over and in a few moments was chugging a quarter of the bottle down.

"Oh and, sir, Senators from Alderaan are calling. They say its urgent, about the homestead agreement," the droid said.

James lowered his bottle and glared at the droid. If looks could kill, the thing would be dead right now. The spacer set his cigarette down on the steps, "What's ye name, droid?"

"C2-T2, sir, Cyto for short," the droid said pleasantly.

"Cyto, what is the rule about disturbing me when I be with a woman?"

If droids could feel fear, this one clearly felt it, "Oh, sir I am so sorry, I didn't realize--"

James hurled his bottle of Ale at the protocol droid, it shattered, coating the mechanical being in alcohol. Furious, James picked his cigarette up and flicked it at Cyto. The alcohol ignited in a ball of fire, hissing, popping, and mechanical cries of terror began to fill the air as the droid slowly melted and was made into a pile of nothing before them. The spacer glared at it with a scowl the whole time, never looking away. Stressed? The spacer was beyond stressed. One didn't carry the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders without feeling it. At last he looked back to Anara as the mess of a melted droid began to cool down, "Do ye have a location? We can be there in a brace of shakes."

 

[Anara Valnor]

His reaction to the interruption was violent, uncharacteristically so, and Anara watched the whole scene with a curious expression upon her face. His Song was chaotic, dangerous, and while a part of her reveled in the growing Darknes, another part recognized that he needed guidance. He seemed to love saving others and while she didn't fault him for that, she did feel that he was only working toward his own doom.

"Onderon," she answered simply, a hand slipping through his hair as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. He needed a break and perhaps going to her "home" would allow him time to relax.

"You are to good to me," she teased, lips brushing against his skin as she straddled him properly in an effort to hug him. Her own Force signature swept outward, encompassing him in an effort to calm him despite the fact that her own Song was far more chaotic than his. She held him for a moment before pulling away and climbing from his lap, careful to avoid the remains of the unfortunate droid.

 

[James Justice]

James savored the embrace for a moment, and the kiss. He knew he needed to get away from this place, sooner than later. Her hands through his hair helped to bring him back down from the rage. His temper was without equal, and burned against those who incited it without mercy. Vindictive. Powerful. Strong. All three were words that described his personality, but power-hungry wasn't one of them. Otherwise he would have already taken total control of this planet, and many many more. Compassionate. Caring. Devoted. These words also described him. It was a dichotomy that a being didn't want to find themselves trying to unravel or in the middle of.

As she began to walk away he let his hand give her rear a squeeze. He was still James, after all, a man who was more than willing to cop a feel when he could. It would surprise none that his "Other Sight" as he called it, or Force Sight as it was more commonly known had been used more than once to sneak peeks and things he shouldn't have seen.

"Someone clean this mess up," James shouted rising at last. "I be going out. Inform the board its in their hands."

"Sir, the houses of Alderaan--" began one of the desk jockeys who was coming in on the scene.

"--Can wait," James finished the sentence for him. "I want the Forgotten King fueled and ready in less than 15 minutes. Reed on board."

"Not the Lost Angel, sir?"

"This mission requires more stealth," he said with a nod, "going off the radar this time, mate, off the radar."

"Yes, sir, of course." the man bowed and left.

A few minutes later, James was aboard the AT-360 Light Freighter that was his second favorite ship, and the flag for his private Kingmaker Fleet, his second private fleet of vessels. The spacer was soon guiding the ship into orbit, then out into space, preparing for a jump the space between space.

 

[Anara Valnor]

The squeeze to her ass only made her smile and roll her eyes; James was forever misbehaving, but she allowed it to a certain degree. Still smiling she boarded the ship with him, taking the seat next to his, and just sat back to enjoy the ride.

Onderon.

When was the last time she'd been home? Anara couldn't even begin to guess, but with her family dead did it matter?

No...

Sighing she looked over at James, her sweater sitting dangerously low on one shoulder as she studied him. "Ever thought about just...running away from it all?" she asked suddenly, curious about what was on his mind.

 

[James Justice]

James watched the blue streaks of Hyperspace begin to run by them. Billions of billions of beings were being passed by with each nano second. It was a feeling that always made James feel special. But still his face had the bitten look of bitterness. A fresh cigarette was between his lips, smoke was quickly beginning to fill the cockpit.

"Ny--Someone else brought the idear up recently too," James said, his eyes glued to the blue going by. His hand gave a wave, "I guess I been thinking about it a few time. Constant push, constant struggle, constant war between the worlds and the kingdoms that try to tear each other apart."

The man shook his head. He was exhausted in every sense of the word. His soul was drained, his mind was crushed, his heart was in tatters. His body was beginning to break down, he could feel it.

"Spent the last three decades runnin' from one war to the next, one fire to the next," James said, his mind drifting into autopilot, "I had more fortunes pass through my fingers than most ever knew existed. Some were mine, some were being moved for others. I sent and saved thousands to their deaths. I am the lord they worship and the hope children cling to at night. I am the terror of grown men. I dun't have the luxury of just," he waved his hand, "vanishing. If I could, I would."

 

[Anara Valnor]

She didn't catch the name he muttered or nearly muttered, but her gut told her it was likely another of his lady friends. A pang of jealousy rocketed through her and Anara frowned softly, glad that he wasn't looking at her as she shifted in her seat in thought.

"You can...If you can do all that...then you can vanish," she murmured, her voice barely heard over the natural sounds of the ship. "Heroes rise and fall, they pass their burdens on to others...Or at least allow others to help shoulder that burden," she continued. "You need to not take it all on...No one man or woman can save everyone..."

Her mind was still a bit focused upon the fact that he was hiding something from her, but Anara sternly had to remind herself that they were simply friends. Yes they shared a bed most nights and had shared a heated kiss as well as a naked dinner in the hot tub. However, none of that meant anything she told herself. Anara tried to believe that it all meant nothing to her, but after so many nights in his arms something was growing inside her. She could feel it and secretly she hated it, and him.

Brushing her hair from her face Anara moved from her seat to hover beside his chair, Darkness gnawing at her mind. The voices only encouraged her and her eyes darkened for a moment before returning to normal. Without a word she leaned down and turned his face to her own, kissing him. The kiss appeared rather chaste, but her power swelled and washed over him. Pulling back before the kiss could become more she moved away, her expression dark as she lost herself to her thoughts.

"Don't let the wants and needs of others rule you. Ruin you. That's how you end up like me..."

 

[James Justice]

The kiss had snapped James out of his reverie. It was intense, and he--he--

Why should she care if he was seeing someone else? And where did that thought come from? He didn't know why he thought that she did, they were only friends, and he was the one who was healing her mind and putting it back together. But then again, friends don't kiss like that. But by the same standard, for those who wanted to be "more than friends" he did by far more than kiss. He had even done more than kissing to women he hated, only to get what he needed done. It was an action to him. Nothing more. Physical touch of the most intimate variety was as second nature to him as breathing.

Taking care of people was how he showed he cared. But he was taking care of both Anara and Nyx, and--well Alica too. James was trying to figure out when his life became so complicated. When he had to start choosing not only between women, but between wars to get involved in--and then on what side to get involved.

"I ain't a hero," he said, "and I ain't gonna be able to save everyone. I gave up trying, but I will do what I can to save those I care about. And let the rest of the worlds burn."

 

[Anara Valnor]

She paused before moving elsewhere in the ship to relax; she felt her anger rolling out of control over something that was none of her business. However, hadn't he asked her to never leave him? Hadn't he made his feelings clear? They were deeper and more passionate than she'd have ever expected, especially since they'd only known one another a few days.

Did those feelings still remain or had he already moved onto his next conquest? Not that he'd conquered her (or ever would), but it was the principal of the thing! You don't nearly beg a woman to never leave your life and not have that mean something significant.

Anara huffed in annoyance and dropped down onto a small couch, frustrated with herself. Sighing harshly she closed her eyes and let herself become lost in the Song of the Force, the dark melody easing her mind as words found their way to her lips of their own accord. Before Anara realized what she was doing she was singing softly, music created by nothing save her own power slowly filling the room.

"I am standing on the edge of returning or just running away
I am letting myself look the other way
And the hardest part in all of this is I don't think I know my way back home
Is it worth the journey or do I let my heart settle here

How cold have I become?
I didn't want to
Lose you by what I'd done
Caught in the grey"​

 

[James Justice]

James didn't need his telepathic and latent empathic abilities to know that she was angry. He had enough women in his past to know what that felt like. He just... wasn't sure why she was angry. She only saw him as a friend. She made that beyond clear.

He sighed, just goes to show a man; when he thinks he understands the woman, his goose was royally cooked. The spacer sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He could hear singing in the back and music. Did she find his sound system? Darn it. He hoped she didn't look down to the last disc. That'd be embarrassing. But she needed time alone and that was what he could give her.

James pressed his fingers to his temples. Maybe he did need to just leave it all. Let the galaxy burn. No one needed him to be the hero, he wasn't much of a hero anyway. He didn't ask for this, he didn't--he didn't--

He cracked. James Justice, the man who had seen his wife die, his adopted sister tortured, his brother on his death bed, his own body battered and tortured twice, cracked.

He slammed his fist on the false cherry-wood dash. And again. And again. And again.

"Feth," he spat, "feth."

He grabbed the bottle of ale and hurled it across the cockpit, shattering it into a million pieces. His other hand grabbed an empty bottle and threw it the other direction, a few bits of glass cut his arm and face.

Both of his hands grabbed a pile of paperwork and tossed it in the air. His fist slammed the durasteel wall. Twice.

"Feth it to bloody hells!" he roared.

He was sick of this. He stormed into the back of the ship, into the lounge. His rage was growing, growing like a massive storm cloud. The feeling preceeded him like that sickening wind before the monsoon. She was laying there, and--gah it made him angrier for some reason.

"What do ye want from me?" he shouted. "Say it, say what ye want! Say what you want and I will fething give it to you but stop this goddamn fethering around," he grabbed a bottle from the wet bar, full of alcohol and tossed it across the room. "Tell me what you want!"

 

[Anara Valnor]

Consumed in her own thoughts, but no where near disconnected from the world around her, Anara stopped singing the moment James began to move toward her. His anger washed over her and she sat up slowly, watching him carefully as her own power swelled. She pushed against him in warning, molten orbs darkening slightly, as he sought to challenge her without even realizing it.

What did she want? That was a good question and as his anger file the area Anara in turn became more agitated.

"What do I want?" she asked softly, her tone icy. She sneered and stood, shoving him back against the nearest wall. She held him there, one tiny hand raised, as her power rolled off her in thick waves. The air grew heavy as she approached him, fire in her eyes.

"What do i want?!" she roared, feet from him. Her eyes burned bright before they were consumed by obsidian as she closed the distance between them. Pulling his head to her own Anara pressed her forehead to his, pushing her way into his mind. Again they were connected, but this time her sole purpose was to show him what she wanted.

She showed him her fear about how he made her feel. Her loneliness. Her anger. All of it. She bared her soul to him violently and thousands of voices screamed in need, need for chaos and for him. Last she let him feel and see what she feared to say...that he was capturing her heart, a heart she'd thought long dead.

With a gasp she pulled back, releasing him from the wall as she leveled her dark eyes upon him. However, regardless of what she'd shown him, Anara knew that she had to say it. She had to admit it aloud.

"I want you," she declared after a long moment, stepping back from him as her anger continued to fester.

 

[James Justice]

She pinned him to a wall. And fethed with his head. Two things that were on James' no-no list. He hated feeling helpless, pushed small and in a corner. And he felt that way every millisecond against the wall. Part of him wondered if she was playing with his head. Lying. The Saber-jockeys on both sides had a tenancy to double speak. More than a tenancy, they did it without abandon. And she claimed to be one of them, a master. No doubt she had more than learned the foolery of mind trickery.

His anger, instead of getting stronger, got worse. He took a halting step forward, going toe to toe with the redhead. His chest heaved in heavy, rageful breaths. His dark eyes glared into her golden, molten eyes. Under the rage was hurt. If ye want to think you can mess with me, ye have another thing coming. I am not ye toy to be pulled and plucked like a rag-doll or a puppet.

His pointer finger came within inches of her face, almost touching her. He halted himself, refusing to speak until he knew he could refrain from loosing control.

"Ye dun't want to tell me fine," he snarled, his accent thick and his throat guttural from smoke damage. "But dun't ye ever mess with me head. Ever."

Run, Anara. Run. Get out of my life before I hurt ye too. Run before ye hurt me too and I hate you like I hate everyone.

 

[Anara Valnor]

Her eyes bleed black again and her veins began to do the same, the sickness that is the Darkness corrupting her beauty and making it into something terrible. His blatant disregard hurt as did his unspoken words. Oh yes, she heard him, how could she not?

Her anger and fear turned to rage and a need for destruction, but as much as she wanted to tear into him with her bare hands Anara restrained herself. Her nails cut deep into her palms until blood began to seep from between clenched fingers, but she didn't feel any of it. All she felt was the need to burn, burn the whole galaxy.

In the darkness of her eyes burned a fire, thick and vile. She snarled and smacked his hand away, blood slipping down her arm and falling to the metal floor without care. "I want you and I hate you for it..." she spat, invading his space as though she were capable of towering over him when in reality her height forced her to crane her head back to look at him. Her voice was thick and not entirely her own as the voices bled out into the physical world, their voices joining hers as she spoke. "You frighten me. How you've gotten into my head terrifies me...You make me feel weak, like I can't continue without you...I don't want to continue without you....And I hate it...You will not rule me, break me...My heart is not for you," she spat, but it was a blatant lie as a few tears slipped from her burning eyes.

Without her knowing more of her past was returning to her, flashes of memory and feelings. Her heart ached and she blamed James, but in reality her heart had been broken for so long, long before he was ever born.

Carelessly she pulled his face to her own, kissing him with bruising force. It was hard and fast, but the passion and connection between them...well even James couldn't deny it. With a gasp she broke from him and stumbled back, her eyes and appearance once more normal as she angrily glared at him, still crying.

"You begged me to never leave you...as though your very life depended on it. Your happiness...and now you'd cast me aside...Why?! You've clearly no need for me when you can have any woman in this galaxy fall at your feet! Every night you hold me...and waking in your arms is...I'd burn every world for you simply not to lose that...Not to lose you, you daft pirate!!"

 

[James Justice]

The display of power was immense and enough to almost make James scare. Almost. And for all purposes he should have been, probably. The kiss was intense. Very intense and painfully fierce.

The sight of her blood on the floor and streaming from her hands was enough to make him feel for her. He was compassionate. His compassion was what had pushed him this far. It had pushed him to take care of her. It had pushed him to hold her every night instead of finding more women to fill his bed.

Compassion. It was all he knew he could feel anymore. Compassion and rage. Care and hate. The need to heal and the equally strong need to destroy.

It was time to do the only thing anyone who cared could do. Anyone who knew James would have told her to stay away. To run and flee for her life because her heart would be shattered when he was done and gone.

He drew his strength up, rising to his full height and bracing himself for what he had to say and do. I'm sorry, Anara, forgive me, he thought. Forgive me for breaking your heart.

"Daft pirate, really that all ye got?" he taunted her. "I can have any woman in the galaxy. And I will. I will have everything I want and I wun't feel a bit of remorse," all of it was a lie. All of it and he knew it. Tears began trailing down his face as he knew what was coming.

"I toss ye aside cause I dun't," his words caught in James' throat. No, he had to say this. He had to finish it. Clenching his fists, more tears coming down his face James willed the words through his clenched teeth, "Cause I dun't care about ye. And I never will. I dun't--I dun't--care," the spacer began retreating back into a corner. The damage was done. The sobs couldn't be stopped, each only getting worse.

"I dun't care about ye," he murmured, trying to convince himself as well as her.

 

[Anara Valnor]

"Liar!" she screeched, her voice shaking the very bulkheads as thousands of voices joined her own. Bottles shattered as her eyes blazed, the Darkness eating away at her. A wind picked up, pulling at them both, and she snarled, the sound inhuman.

"You're afraid! I can feel it! You think you're the only one that is frightened of their own heart?" she challenged, her heart running away with her mouth. "Coward," she hissed, more glass breaking. Bottles from his wet bar were breaking in slow succession and the growing wind that raged around her snatched up shards of glass. The pain of being cut by the dancing glass was nothing and her blood leaked out slowly, the sickness of the Darkside making it thicken and dark. It was like sludge, toxic as it painted her porcelain skin in inky red.

She said nothing further, molten orbs streaked with black fluttering closed as she reveled in her own anguish. It was sweet and intoxicating. Slowly the wind died and the glass shards fell lifeless to the cold floor. Her blood ran more freely, but her power and rage didn't ebb. With her clothes torn, blood, sweat, and tears streaking her face Anara simply watched him, seething and fighting her every instinct to kill him.

The voices wanted him. All of him and Anara was loathe to ignore them, but for the moment James was safe from her.

 

[James Justice]

The shattering of his alcohol made James furious, wiping all self-loathing and tears from his mind. He had half a mind to drug the girl and drop her into the depths of space when she least expected it. She had crossed a line that infuriated every ounce of his being.

Shards of glass had sliced his forearms, face, and shins from the torrent. A distinct trail of blood went from his forehead over his right eye, meandering to his eyebrow and threatening to leak into his eye. Another slice on his left cheek bone was trailing a line of blood to his jawline. Pain was nothing to him. He woke up in pain. He went to bed in pain. He lived every second of every day in pain. That was who he was. A few cuts were nothing to the man haunted by his inner demons like none other.

But she was bleeding, and even if he wanted to see the worlds burn, he was not heartless. Their fighting meant nothing if she died in the process. His face was still set in a stony and grim expression as he rose to his feet and stalked to the next room. He grabbed the medical kit and pulled it off the shelf before making his way back into the room. He stood in front of her, letting her get a full view of his bitter look and using his height to his advantage to take control of the situation.

"Sit," he ordered in a voice no one would dare disobey as he pointed to the couch. "Now."

When she had complied, he set the case down beside her and knelt on the floor next to her. He cracked the medical case open. This one, unlike the one on the Angel was brand new, and top of the line. He unwrapped a wipe and began cleaning her wounds, his grim expression staying fixed like a mask. First her arms and hands, then her legs and then her face. Her body had several cuts, they needed stitches.

His had pointed to her blood soaked shirt, as he gave two words of stern command, "Off. NOW."