Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Qor(Pronounced "Core")

Status
Not open for further replies.
Name: Qor
Designation: Sentient
Homeworld: Quen
Language: Qorian, English.
Average height of adults: 1.6 Meters
Skin color: Pale, Fair and Light Blue
Hair color: Black, Red, Gold, Blue(Each signifying birth rank)
Breathes: Oxygen and Water(h2o)
Strengths:
- They have a stronger force connection the closer the Fi's are to eachother.
- Can communicate with their "Fi" telepathically.
Weaknesses:
- Cannot be seperated from their "Fi" too long or else they will die.
- If one "Fi" dies so does their other.
Distinctions: They look almost exactly like a human despite having small plates in their arm bones to protect from predators.
Average Lifespan: 200
Races:
-Duun: The first highest of the race birthright latter and have the second lowest birth rate. They are distinct by their golden hair. These are the aristocrats of the world of Qor.

-Gan: The main race of Qor who are distinct by their black hair color. These people are the second highest birthright of the race and highest birth rate. These are a mostly warrior race.

-Han: The second lowest in the birthright chain on Qor and are told apart from their deep sapphire hair. They are often viewed as merchants and swindlers.

-Ran: With the lowest birth rate and birth right capabilities they are told by their bright ember hair. They are often the slaves and physical workers who are rarest among other Qor people.

Estimated Population: A single planet (Though races may be scattered.)
Diet: They often eat seafloor vegetation due to their planets lack of animal life. Their bodies are unable to digest meat at all and will kill them if they were to consume it.
Communication: Vocal communication. Telepathically to their Fi.
Culture: A mostly oriental culture is built in their underwater world. They sepirate their races based upon the color of their hair. This race is build off of a base of two, meaning that each person has a second person linked to them through an unknown mythical area. The name of these twins are "Fi". The Duun often rule over and are usually the ones who will be seen outside of their planet spare a few Han and Gan who will spare their expertise for exchange in currency. The Ran are almost never seen outside of their planet and are heavily discriminated against on their home world. It is in their culture that they will train with staff like weapons as well as pikes, spears and glaives. It is considered a great offense if one were to paint their skin(Tattoos) and will be forced to have the area of their skin torn off(Not cut). They usually keep to themselves and try to blend in with other humanoid races to protect their "Bloodline".
Technology level: Basic space age technology and incredible subnautical technology.
General behavior: The only behavioral identification that differs from a human is their over protection of their Fi. One of the Fi tends to be more dominant than the other but that may vary per pair.
History: Within the last few millennium they have been ruled over by a tyranny that spread their race thin to a point that their home planet is forgotten to most of the race save a few. The Sen family rules over almost the entire planet now and forcebly employs people to do their bidding though only slaving the Ran for permanent and unpaid servitude.

On the eastern side of the planet is the only area not run by the Sen family but rather a rebel family of Shui. They have been holding ground there against the rest of the planet for 50 years Qor time and have made several progresses to liberate several Qorian slaves and forced warriors. Only recently in the last 9 years been connected to the rest of the galaxies through an un-named slave merchant who takes in exotic slaves.

Unfortunetely enough the eastern side of the planet is full of corruption and still captures the liberated slaves to send off to other worlds for export in gain in their new galactic credit as a main source of currency. They do not care about their people other than their Fi which sent the Eastern into a losing spiral against the Sen family.
Notable Player-Characters: @Xin and Xo Daiasa
Intent: The intent of this race is to be a base for a race of twins who would gain their powers and strength from one another. Their ability to breath under wat without any equipment(which is still cruel due to pressure difference and lack of tethering) but almost entirely possible given that the waters of the planet is not poisonous to them and they can survive the pressure of the water.. It is also the base of my characters that I plan on building and hopefully others will enjoy the idea.
 

Rusty

Purveyor of Fine Weaponry
This is a neat concept. However, there are a few issues.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Breathes: None (Does not breath)
Some form of respiration is required. Maybe they don't breathe oxygen or what have you, but I've yet to encounter a species that breathes nothing. If you can find one that does to use as an example, we'll revisit this.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Races: -Gan: The main race of Qor who are distinct by their black hair color. These people are the second highest birthright of the race and highest birth rate. These are a mostly warrior race.

-Duun: The first highest of the race birthright latter and have the second lowest birth rate. They are distinct by their golden hair. These are the aristocrats of the world of Qor.

-Han: The second lowest in the birthright chain on Qor and are told apart from their deep sapphire hair. They are often viewed as merchants and swindlers. -Ran: With the lowest birth rate and birth right capabilities they are told by their bright ember hair. They are often the slaves and physical workers that the Qor people sell as slaves.

I think you've got birthright and birth rate mixed up here. You should be able to swap that around and be fine.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Communication: Vocal communication.
If they communicate telepathically with their Fi, that'll need to be listed here.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
History: Within the last few millennium they have been ruled over by a tyranny that spread their race thin to a point that their home planet is forgotten to most of the race save a few. The Sen family rules over almost the entire planet now and forcebly employs people to do their bidding though only slaving the Ran for permanent and unpaid servitude.
We'll need some more on the history. Doesn't have to be a novel, but we need at least a decent length paragraph.

That looks to be about it for the moment. I think this concept is pretty neat, so hopefully we can get it up to spec pretty quickly.

[member="Xin and Xo Daiasa"]
 
[member="Rusty"]

I have made the changes and I changed the order of the birthright and birth rate of the races but they are correct as they were outside of their order on the list.
 

Rusty

Purveyor of Fine Weaponry
Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Strengths: - They do not need to breath at all.

This part still needs to be changed, as breathing in some form is pretty much univsersal. If they don't breathe, we need to know how they get by without it.

[member="Xin and Xo Daiasa"]
 
[member="Xin and Xo Daiasa"]
This is a very interesting submission. There are some elements I'd ideally like to see clarified and tightened, but I'm prepared to let it go.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Intent: The intent of this race is to be a base for a race of twins who would gain their powers and strength from one another. Their inability to breath is for the sake that they lived underwater and can be used to be outside of a ship without any equipment(which is still cruel due to pressure difference and lack of tethering). It is also the base of my characters that I plan on building and hopefully others will enjoy the idea.
The reference to not breathing though needs to change, as mentioned by Rusty above.

Do that and this should be OK to approve.
 
Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Language: Qorian, English.
The language used in Star Wars is called 'Basic'. Please change accordingly.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Breathes: Oxygen and Water(h2o)
Change this to 'Type 1 and Underwater'



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Homeworld: Quen
is this a canon world or one accepted on SWRP? Please link it either way.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Estimated Population: A single planet (Though races may be scattered.)
Can I get an idea of numbers here? Rough guess is fine such as "Around 10 million".



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Their ability to breath under wat without any equipment(which is still cruel due to pressure difference and lack of tethering) but almost entirely possible given that the waters of the planet is not poisonous to them and they can survive the pressure of the water.
Breathe, I think you mean. This isn't very clear, can you please clarify?

Are there any other strengths and weaknesses they might have? What you have is good, but I feel there is more you can add.

Overall the sub has some spelling gremlins I'd like you to fix. Run over it with a spell checker and clear out the most glaring ones.

I like this species, so just make these changes and we can get them approved.
 

Rusty

Purveyor of Fine Weaponry
[member="Xin and Xo Daiasa"]

Going to go ahead and archive this one. When you get your feet back under you, feel free to message myself, [member="Valiens Nantaris"] or an RPJ to have it pulled back down off the shelf.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom