Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Codex Denied Raeloc

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Aeth Deschart

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A
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OOC.gif

  • Intent: To create a forcespawn as Telos' companion and defender.
  • Image Credit: X There is a link to another site for the image, but that site is down. Reverse image search didn't get me anywhere. Other image sources are included with their images.
  • Canon: Based on a Canon Species: Ice Dragon
  • Permissions: N/A
  • Links: Telos Kain
General.gif

  • Name: Raeloc
  • Designation: Semi-sentient
  • Origins: Forcespawn
  • Average Lifespan: 200 years
  • Estimated Population: Unique
  • Description: Raeloc is a forcespawn. Similar to Sithspawn, she was created through the manipulation of the Force upon her body. Unlike most of her species, she possesses a constant blue glow emanating from her spine. She has a snout similar to a canines and possesses a long tail with a nasty barb on the end. Her bite is worse than her bark as she is relatively quiet. She is also considerably smaller than the Ice Dragons she was created of. She has blue-white skin and emerald eyes.
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  • Breathes: Type 1
  • Average Height of Adults: 3m
  • Average Length of Adults: 5m
  • Skin color: Blue-white
  • Hair color: Glowing blue and black on her snout.
  • Distinctions: Raeloc is a dragon, albeit technically a drake as she does not possess wings and the ability to fly. She is long and somewhat tall, though not nearly the size of her Ice Dragon ancestors. Of note she has numerous sharp teeth and doesn't eat food in the way that ice dragons do. Part of the manipulation done to her was such that she gains all the energy she needs by absorbing light. She is extremely deadly and fiercely loyal. Her long tail is dangerous itself, as those who try to sneak up on her learn when the barb skewers or decapitated them.

    Her most interesting feature, however, is the ability to entirely mold her body around someone. Much like the Yuuzhan Vong and their living weapons and armor, Raeloc is able to encompass her target in protective armor, and is able to detach her tail, which she can regrow over time (it takes several weeks), for the host to use as a weapon.

  • Races: N/A
  • Force Sensitivity: Force Dead
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  • Raeloc's skin is strong against both kinetic and energy-based attacks, including lightsaber strikes.
  • She is fiercely loyal to her creator and companion and more than willing to die for him.
  • She has very sharp teeth and a tail that can kill.
  • She can mold her body around a target to act as armor.
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  • Raeloc is particularly prone to sonic attacks. They cause her much distress.
  • If she is starved of natural light for too long she will go into a dormant state in which she will hibernate to conserve energy.
  • She requires oxygen to breathe, so locations without Type 1 atmospheres are inaccessible to her (nobody makes a rebreather for dragons)
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  • Diet: She doesn't have a stomach, and absorbs natural light to give herself energy.
  • Communication: She growls, mostly, but she can also utilize body language and speak through rippling light patterns in the hair along her spine.
  • Technology level: N/A
  • Religion/Beliefs: N/A
  • General behavior: Raeloc is a generally docile creature despite her ability to cause harm. In some ways she is more dog than dragon as she follows Telos around like a guard dog and won't allow harm to come to him. Still, she is able to defend herself if need be, but she's more apt to be playful with someone and has an affinity for sniffing out the loneliest of children wherever they go and playing with them, including giving rides. If you are kind to Telos she will generally treat you with the greatest of affection, but if you intend him harm she will attempt to tear you limb from limb unless Telos asks her to stop.
Historical.gif

Raeloc was the intended off-spring of an ice dragon that was killed by another ice dragon. Telos only found her through luck, or the guidance of the Force for those who believe in it. After everything that had happened amongst his people, he had been lost. He wanted to do something more, but somehow he ended up on a world that had been touched by the Yuuzhan Vong, and began to study them and their ways. The particular tribe that inhabited the world was friendly towards him, likely in part due to his scarring or because of his warrior nature. He was particularly interested in their shaping process and how they used it as a means of creating creatures that could be used as hand-held weapons or worn as armor. Creatures that could modify their body at command, such as Amphistaff's, were of most interest to him.

But he wasn't studying it because he wished to learn to use their creatures himself. More he was studying it to learn how it was done and figure out a way to apply it for himself through the Force. He knew about Sithspawn, all of those like him did, but this was something less evil and something more pure to its own nature. He wanted something that would do what he asked of it, but wouldn't be prone to running off and slaughtering at a whim. He was interested in making a pure weapon, he wanted a companion.

The ice dragons of Toloran had interested him. They'd been featured in a story his mother used to tell him before she died. Having this little bit of history to dwell on was important to him. It gave him shelter when he felt most vulnerable. He'd gone to Toloran to seek out the Ice Dragons for himself, intent on trying to capture one. Instead, he found a recently killed one and recognized the baby it carried inside of it was still alive thanks to his own connection to the Force. A full-grown dragon would perhaps have been more immediately useful, but the unborn could be molded and shaped without ever knowing anything else. Its nature could be more compatible with his own than was the case with the violence projected by the species of which it was made.

He laid his hands upon the dead beast and reached through it to the unborn babe which slumbered inside of it. The Force reacted to his command and he willed the blood left in the body of the mother to proceed to that of the child, using it and the stem cells within to alter and shape the child in a way that he felt was best. His intention was simple: to create a creature more like the amphistaff, one that could retain its normal functions most of the time, but because a weapon and armor for him when it was needed. He would not make it carnivorous like the dragons it was born of because he did not want it to eat people, so he used the light to bleed into the body of the beast and feed it, unwittingly severing the creatures own connection to the Force in the process. He feared the worst when he lost the ability to sense it.

Drawing his vibro-knife, he cut into the body of the mother, and birthed the child, bringing forth something which barely resembled its mother, but was clearly alive. Relief had flooded him, but it was only for a short time as the babe staggered to its feet and slid around, its eyes falling upon him. The creature was somewhat intelligent, clearly, as its eyes showed a sense of recognition and it made its way to him, despite the blade he held, and nuzzled against him. Through the Force, he could feel nothing of her, but it was easy to tell that she recognized their bond, forged through his own use of the Force.

They have been together ever since.
 

Zak Dymo

Guest
Z
Telos Kain

I'll be conducting this review for you. I like the thematic elements overall, but this needs some further elaboration before it will be ready to be stamped. I'll try to walk you through that step by step, but please ask questions if anything seems unclear.

1. Image Credit
Image Credit: X There is a link to another site for the image, but that site is down. Reverse image search didn't get me anywhere. Other image sources are included with their images.

I need you to add the second image credit (the lower image) into this section. All image credits should appear here.

2. Links
Links: @Telos Kain

This is a tag, not a link. Please replace this with the link to your character biography (this is also done so that it's clear who the character refers to, since accounts can be re-named and any tags will reflect the new name).

3. Origins
Origins: Forcespawn

Note what the template is asking here: Origins: [ This can be a planet (canon or Chaos canon sub), a company's lab, a region of space, extra-galactic, etc. Provide a link if applicable. ]

You mention that this works similar to the creation of Sithspawn. So was Raeloc created in a lab? If so, where? Was this on a particular planet?

4. Description
Description: Raeloc is a forcespawn. Similar to Sithspawn, she was created through the manipulation of the Force upon her body. Unlike most of her species, she possesses a constant blue glow emanating from her spine. She has a snout similar to a canines and possesses a long tail with a nasty barb on the end. Her bite is worse than her bark as she is relatively quiet. She is also considerably smaller than the Ice Dragons she was created of. She has blue-white skin and emerald eyes.

Here's where I want to further clarify what this forcespawn concept is. As per the Codex rules, custom or non-canon Force Powers cannot be submitted to the Codex. There's no mention on Wookieepedia of anything similar that I can find. So is this a Sithspawn created through Sith alchemy and the Dark Side of the Force (and is merely being called by a different name)? Or is this something else entirely? This needs some explanation on the submission so that it is clear what is meant by this.

5. Force Sensitivity
Force Sensitivity: Force Dead

In line with my comments, above, creatures that are Force Dead cannot be sensed in the Force and cannot be directly affected by the majority of Force powers (Force Heal, etc). As such, there should be some elaboration and development that provides an explanation of how a creature not connected by the Force would have its body so manipulated either by or as a result of direct Force application.

6. Armor/Spear.
Her most interesting feature, however, is the ability to entirely mold her body around someone. Much like the Yuuzhan Vong and their living weapons and armor, Raeloc is able to encompass her target in protective armor, and is able to detach her tail, which she can regrow over time (it takes several weeks), for the host to use as a weapon.

The submission, minus the armor and spear, is fine with regard to detailing the strengths and weaknesses of the species. However, the Codex isn't the place where the resistances, strengths or weaknesses of an armor submission would be balanced or worked out. Because of the potential for this submission to be used in a PVP situation, the armor and weapon mentioned here need to be submitted separate from this submission.

Accordingly, I see two options:

Option #1: You can make Factory submissions for the armor and weapon, which can then be linked to this submission. If that seems like it may not be timely, I can move this back to Pre-Codex to allow you additional time for those edits.​
Option #2. You can remove mention of the armor and weapon and we can proceed on. You can always submit a submission modification if you later decide to make Factory submissions and want to include them here.​

And as a matter of due diligence, there is also the option of requesting a new judge. Please ensure you read through the rules and requirements of Second Chance carefully before doing so, though.

Those are my thoughts and I look forward to yours in reply. Please tag me when you have completed any edits, or else let me know what your intentions would be for this submission going forward.
 
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