Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved NPC Raul Jarl

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Razz Michaels

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R
Name: Raul Jarl
Rank: Bodyguard
Loyalties: Razz
Role: Bodyguard, co-pilot, and friend
Development Threads: none but will do if needed.
Age: 25 years old
Species: Human
Weight: 190 pounds
Height: Five foot eleven
Force-Sensitive: Raul is not Force sensitive
Appearance: Raul wears Blue Jeans, a Collared Shirt, a Pair of Black Boots, black vest, and black mask.
Personality: Like Razz, Raul is calm under situations, but hates most outside contact. (Other than Razz.) He is also pretty quiet, he doesn't drink or swear, and likes to be in quiet areas.
Weapon of Choice:
Primary weapon: DLT-20A Longblaster
Secondary: Combat Knife
Wealth: Raul's wealth is at a minimal amount, he uses his Credits to help pay for supplies to help Razz on different expeditions.
Combat Function: Raul is fair in combat, he isn't a very good strategist, if it wasn't for his blaster rifle he'd get killed quickly.

Strengths And Weaknesses:

+Good Shot: unlike Razz, Raul can actually hit things with a blaster. He was trained by a militant friend and all he can do is improve.

+/-Fairly Good At Hand To Hand: Raul can take out one or two opponents, but when it is a group, he wouldn't stand a chance

+Co Pilot: Raul is Razz's Co Pilot, he will fly with Razz from time to time. This will make Razz ease up if he is tense and if he is hurt Raul could take control.

+Wise: Raul will give Razz advice from time to time, help him with different perspectives of things.

-Horrible Tactical/Strategist: he isn't able to think and plan things out, he is more of a rush in type of guy.

-Untrustworthy: Raul cannot be trusted if you are not Razz, he'll gut you if he gets the chance.


Notable Possessions: Raul owns nothing that isnt listed above.

Other Notes:

Biography:

Raul born on the planet of Coruscant in the lower levels.
His parents loved him very much, but gave him up for a better life. A man found him, he was a hired mercenary, the man taught him how to shoot a blaster, and some hand to hand. When Raul was 18 he left the man to find his true destiny. He wanted to be a Merc. He did part time gigs for different bosses, he didn't like them though. One day when Raul was 21 he met a man named Razz Michaels, this man filled him with great plans of the future, Mr. Michaels wanted to promote equality for the people. Mr. Michaels the crime lord asked if he wanted a long term job as a bodyguard. Raul reluctantly accepted the job, he felt it would further his destiny. Until the day Raul finds his true destiny he would continue to be Razz's bodyguard.
 
[member="Razz Michaels"]

OK, looks awesome, but there are some things which should be fixed.

I believe Rank section, even though it doesn't exist in the original template, should be just one's Force-Sensitivity rank or a rank in society, thus it should be "Bodyguard".

Loyalties should just say "Razz", and then Role should be "Bodyguard, co-pilot, and friend".

Razz Michaels said:
Razz Michaels, on 25 Aug 2014 - 12:04 PM, said: +Fairly Good At Hand To Hand: unlike Razz, Raul is not as good as him when it comes to hand to hand combat, if he was matched with Razz he'd most likely lose.
You say it's a strength, yet the clarification tells me he is not good at hand-to-hand. Could you elaborate a bit, please?

By the way, you don't have to @mention a judge before one has started judging your submission. Please be reminded that only I and [member="Seydon of Arda"] are NPC Judges. Popo is a Starship Judge.
 
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