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[Alwine Daye]

It had been a week since she’d received word from [member="Caid Centurion"], and Alwine was extremely dissatisfied. While it was true that the two had not agreed on any specific set of relationship and she was not in a place from which she could make demands, she had come to see Caid as a mentor in the brief time they had spent together. While not a Lupine himself, he had comprehended the many things that went through Alwine’s mind, both as a human and as a wolf, and he had worked her hard to bring her to the best shape possible within their limited timeframe. Despite their staggering differences in stature and experience, whatever the bond the two had, it had included mutual respect.

And now he was gone. He could be back in a few months, and he might never be back. The message was clear. Alwine had to move on. And she would probably have to find new trainers for her brothers as well, as they did not seem inclined to do anything for themselves regarding that matter. It was a headache. Caid finding her in the training hall that day that had begun it all had been a stroke of luck; Alwine did not expect to get lucky twice. No. This time, she knew, she would have to actively search for someone to fill his place.

And how was she to do that? There weren’t exactly any wanted ads that could be posted or answered, and even if there were, it seemed… Almost juvenile to use them.

So it was with a sigh, and some heaviness in her own heart, that she entered the Knights Obsidian training halls on Geonosis that day. It was sparsely populated; some sort of holiday or something. But Alwine did not need time off. Her tempo through this life away from Stewjon was unsatisfactory, as everything around her seemed to be moving too slow. The problem was that she considered herself too slow as well. Her reading and writing had not improved a sufficient amount to please her, and even with the Force… She was great at what she had been taught, but she needed more.

Setting the droids in the room to count three minute down before they began their attack, Alwine pulled her standard longsword out and got into position. This would not be a lesson that would advance her; merely one to keep practicing what she had already learned.


[member="Jaron Lesan"]

 

[Jaron Lesan]

GEONOSIS​

TRAINING GROUNDS​

WITH: [member="Alwine Lechner"]​

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It was rare that Jaron found himself in the training grounds among the Knight Obsidian. He had once sworn to himself that he would never teach another, but he had broken that promise in regards with [member="Dianah Vi'drea] as it was. The moment he met her, Jaron had been teaching and testing her, though the relationship was never that of student and teacher. Jaron knee the fact he refused to take a student was one reason he was stunted in his own growth as a force user. The other was that until he had embraced his inner darkness, his true self, Jaron was conflicted inside. Now that he had broken free of that, his strength was continuing freely and unhindered.

Jaron knew it was time to pass on his knowledge to another, so he stood atop a pillar in the open air facility and watched until someone caught his eye.

He was surprised that his eyes fell on a petite blonde, shorter than his lover. The broadsword she was carrying was what had drawn his gaze in her direction. Her weapon of choice was odd for someone her size, and without much fanfare, Jaron mused as to how this training session of her was going to go. Curious eyes continued to watch her, and his mind was made up before she even began. Still, Jaron wanted to see this.

He brushed his presence against her, noticing a dual nature about her. "Interesting," he mumbled to himself as a fing played at the stubble on his chin. Jaron allowed her to feel him watching from above, curious to see how she would react and respond. The Knight wanted to be impressed, and so far the others he had witnessed were not impressive at all. He had a feeling about this one.

 

[Alwine Daye]

Normally, Alwine did not use the greatsword given to her by her brothers on Stewjon. With her size and reliance on speed and agility rather than brute strength, using regular longswords had proved better, but now that she had more time away from official training, she realized how she was unsatisfied with that.

The sword they had given her, which they’d all titled Der Kleine, “the little one”, had been a true gift of the heart. Alwine had carried it as though her life depended on it during the first few weeks with the Confederacy, ignoring the stares she drew as a 5”0 woman carrying a sword that was three inches taller than she was.

But she had hit her wall with the longsword. The droids could only teach her so much, and sans actual enemies to fight or Caid to guide her, there was no improvement she could reach anytime soon. But what these swords could give her though, was a proper warm up. Alwine moved quickly, blocking and hitting while allowing the Force to whisper into her consciousness and guide her, her movements as fluid as a wolf on the hunt. Any onlookers who stood close enough may or may not have notice the occasional growl or snarl that escaped her throat during the narrow moments in which she almost lost her focus.

But after fifteen minutes, the petite blonde turned the droids off. If there was nothing else she could do to improve her longsword fight, she intended on using the greatsword and increase her grip and strength with it. But before that, her body needed a break.

And where Alwine’s body took a rest, her mind worked overtime. She pulled several candles from her backpack and spread them at varying distances around the training room. Only once in her life had she caused fire with the Force; once, and that had been by accident. She had been angry and hurt, and she had not even realized she’d set the food stores on fire until the flames were almost licking at her face. For the briefest of moments, before she registered the screams and accusations of those who happened to be nearby, the young woman had found comfort in the destructive appetite of the blaze.

And she had never dared to try this ability again.

But now was not a couple of months ago. Alwine had been studying, had been improving. She had shed the final fears that lingered from Stewjon, where she had been taught that such abilities belonged to those who consorted with demons. No, she never actually believed that. But the harmful effect was hard to deny. Perhaps, if such things had not been said, the perfectionist would have been quicker to learn, better to grasp new concepts.

Forcing her mind to calm down and release memories of times that no longer mattered, Alwine closed her eyes and began to focus. Her only goal for now; light at least one candle in the room with use of the Force.


[member="Jaron Lesan"]

 

[Jaron Lesan]

GEONOSIS​

Training Grounds​

with: [member="Alwine Lechner"]​

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The massive sword moved more gracefully than what it should have for someone so small. Reaching out with the force, Jaron could feel that it was flowing through her. She had been trained to some degree, but there still so much raw and untapped potential that he could feel flowing through her. Curious eyes watched as the candles were set out, and he smirked at the realization of what she was attempting to do.

He leaped for the pillar landing behind her and walked up toward where she stood.

“You must focus on what sparks the rage, that ignites a flame. Pyrokenesis is not a skill for a novice, you would only be trying this if you’ve managed to do it before?”

Jaron was curious about her answer. It would determine what he did next.

 

[Alwine Daye]

With her eyes closed, Alwine had always found it impossibly hard to not focus on her entire surroundings as well as her insides. Caid had made her close them on many occasions when he attempted to teach her new things. Switching her sense of sight off was… Well, she was not sure why specifically that one was the one that helped. Covering her ears or her nose did not have any such effect, ever.

And so it was that she became aware of the uncloaked presence in the room. While she had no idea how long he had been there, she followed him very closely with the Force as he jumped down and landed behind her. Was it someone who wanted the room? Someone who would pose a challenge? She had not experienced it herself, but there were always rumours among the Knights about some of the more veteran ones kicking newer recruits out. Of course, if the man would try anything as silly as that, Alwine would simply show him what rage felt like on the inside when it made its way inside via certain rectal cavities.

But no. A short speech, and a question.

Chocolate brown eyes opened as the Lupine turned around, looking slightly lower than she was used to. Another tall man, though not quite as tall as her brothers.

“Rage is useless when not honed and controlled,” she answered, paraphrasing Caid’s earliest words, “and I have done this before.” Turning back to the closest candle, Alwine bit her lower lip for a moment before she permitted a sigh to escape. “But only once, and it had been in rage, and uncontrolled, and it nearly cost me my life.”

[member="Jaron Lesan"]

 

[Jaron Lesan]

GEONOSIS​

Training Grounds
with: [member="Alwine Lechner"]

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"That is why you have to find the source of it," Jaron said simply curious as to where she learned that rage had to be controlled. It was not useless when uncontrolled either, and Jaron could demonstrate the power that uncontrolled rage could wreak upon those who dared oppose him. The thought of what he could do, with less threat to his life pulled a smile on his lips. Months ago he would have been more stoic and reserved about it, but his lover had ensured his descent into darkness was constant enough to the place that he now relished the thought of what he could do.

"Pyrokenisis requires that you get in touch with fire at the molecular level. You will not will a flame into existence. The last time you did it what happened?"

Knowing what had caused her to use the ability in the first place would help him know how she could recreate it. Her aura was wild, unfocused, but not as unfocused as those who were green. This one had some training, but the skill was not one she was equipped to handle as of yet. Clearly she wanted to do it again, and Jaron could show her how. His family had always excelled in the elemental abilities, and since there was something nature about the woman, he knew she would as well. How? He just did.

"Tap into what you felt when it happened, and tell. We will find the spark to light this fire."

 

[Alwine Daye]

Find the source of it? Alwine blinked, now shuffling around entirely to stare at the man. His entire approach was different than what Caid’s had been and for a moment she wished to verbally claw his face out for being that way. But she held herself back, forcing herself to a breath. She could not fault anyone for not being like someone else, much as she wanted to. There were certain red lines that crossing them would mean she was her mother, and Alwine would never toe over them.

And then the man wanted her story. What had happened the last time it had worked. A part of her, a small part of her, wanted to scream the story out. Wanted to yell and demonstrate exactly what it had been like to walk into that house and pick those scents up, what it had been like to hope for one moment that salvation had come and then realize the next moment that she had been abandoned and left behind on a planet where she had to lower her head in servitude and cower in dark forests in shame.

But she could not. She had toasted with her brother to forgiveness and moving on. While the process of forgiving him, of genuinely forgiving him, would take time, smearing his name would be several leaps backwards. She would not do it. Alwine refused to do it. So how could she word it?

“I grew up on a dreadful planet,” she said after a long silence, “they believed that shapeshifters were deamons, and that Force Users were witches. I grew up hiding and cowering, taught to never draw attention, to always be meek and demure. And one morning when I returned home, I discovered that the emancipating ship had come… And had left without me. There was no way for me to leave on my own.”

Alwine stared at the candle. There had been a mixture of emotions that went through her that morning, more than she could contain inside her body and mind. But rage had been the strongest, the loudest. It had ripped through her in ways that shamed every single time her brothers had called her the Angry Wolf. That morning… That had been true anger. And it had come with a price. She’d never planned on setting anything on fire, she’d never planned on destroying everything. She had simply walked out of the house hoping to calm her nerves but the next thing Alwine knew, the food stores were on fire and she was accused of witchcraft. Of course she had done it; once the anger had subsided and given way to fear, her mind remained as sharp as ever. But it could not undo any of what had happened, it could not undo any of what she had done.

“In my fury, I set the village food stores on fire,” she finally said, still staring at the candle. There was no anger in her now, no rage that had to be quelled, “apparently I had used the Force to do so, for it was already morning and there were no burning torches, nothing else within reach that I could have used. And people saw me.”


[member="Jaron Lesan"]

 

[Jaron Lesan]

"There are always oppressive planets and cultures in the galaxy. It is a sad reality, but one that sounds like it was needed for you to see your potential, despite the fact it was stifled."

Jaron looked at her curiously. There was something about the story she was not telling, and he could sense it. It was the key, and Jaron knew it. His head canted as he looked back at the candle. Then finally opted to tell his own story.

"I was raised on Corellia by my uncle after my mother passed. He was a Jedi, and my cousin as well. When the events of the netherworld took place and Corellia was torn they simply left. I became angry, why couldn't they stay and help, who needed to pay? I had to make the galaxy a place where that could never happen again. I found strength and raw passion in that anger, and it led to purpose. Once someone found me to channel the anger and hatred I found true freedom, and it is always that moment that sparks everything. Without it I am not who I am. Without your moment you are not who you are."

His eyes looked down onto the shorter woman.

"Do you understand?"

He waited for her reply, then looked to the candle, this time lighting it with a snap of his finger. It was clearly for show.

"There is something you are holding back. You didn't burn an entire village because a ship left you behind. You're here now. How did you get here? Who got you out of that situation? Who was it that abandoned you?"

[member="Alwine Lechner"]

 

[Alwine Daye]

Alwine scoffed. It was sad reality that no one cared about. The man who was in the room with did not truly care about, and frankly, neither did she. Certainly, she cared deeply about Stewjon, but that was because Stewjon was the place of origin for Alwine Lechner. Other planets that enforced similar behaviors? She could have gone and liberated at least three different ones in the time that she had been with the Confederacy, had she cared. But she did not.

When the man began to tell his own tale though, she listened, chocolate eyes never wavering from his face. He told it to serve a purpose, but she did not quite agree on it.

"No," she answered truthfully. Alwine had never found a reason to hide it when she could not understand or comprehend something. "I was who I am before that morning. I remained who I am after it."

Looking at him as he lit the candle with the Force, Alwine now openly glared. Show off.

"None of us were ever supposed to leave. Our position in society would never had allowed it before the Confederacy showed up. And after they showed up, they were gone within hours, and we did not hear a thing from either the Confederacy or the one that left me there for months." Glare gave way to exhaustion. Alwine loathed to think about it, about any of it. Yet she did so repeatedly, especially after a new comprehension she had realized during her last conversation with Gerwald.

"They came. A few hours before I would have probably died in that prison cell," she said, and suddenly a sneer appeared on her face, "they wanted to burn me for witchcraft but I would have died in that cell and their joy and glory would have been denied. Sometimes it seems things would have been simpler that way."

[member="Jaron Lesan"]

 

[Jaron Lesan]

Jaron shook his head, she did not understand, but at least the young woman admitted it. His lips formed into a thin line as he took on the façade which had earned him the moniker of “miserable cyar’ika.” Of course it was a name that only one person was permitted to use, and he was no longer the miserable man that had earned him the name. In this occasion, Jaron felt it best to be his stoic self. He was teaching after all.

“But you see... you’re not the same, not entirely. Something happened that day which caused something to ignite in you which hadn’t before. That changed you, otherwise you would not be here trying to figure out how to use that skill under your own power. It’s neither here nor there, but that moment triggered something in you that was dormant.”

She told the story, but still did not give a name. He could force it, but Jaron was not going to press. Fine. There were still ways to get her to use it to her advantage. He waved his hand and the candle snuffed out as a breeze which had not been in the room was generated out of nowhere it seemed. Yes, Jaron was showing off, but only because he wanted this woman to understand her potential.

“You don’t want to give me a name, that is fine. Someone abandoned you, and the pain and anger of it caused you to tap into this power you did not know you had. Focus on it, that feeling, the rage, the hurt, the pain, and channel it. Feel the fire within you and then release it, focused, and if you must there is now a smoldering wick for you to latch onto as well.”

Jaron stepped behind her and whispered in her ear.

“Sense it. Focus it. Ignite it.”

[member="Alwine Lechner"]

 

[Alwine Daye]

Alwine remained silent as the man repeated that something in her had changed during the moment of abandonment. Not entirely the same as before. For a moment, she allowed herself to entertain the thought. Could it be true? Had that moment sparked something? The Lechner siblings were all Force Sensitive. They had all been able to use the Force for some parlor tricks, though none of them had known it was the Force at all and there was some concern about demons and consorting with them.

Had that moment, when she'd walked into the Lecher house and caught the two scents, that moment that had at first been hope and then quicker than the speed of light turned into the realization of what had happened, changed her? And more importantly, would she have given that moment up if it meant no training with the Force, no ability to set things on fire or grow plants or anything else? Those were big questions that Alwine needed time to think about. Time, and privacy. While this stranger seemed to be inclined to help her with the ability of fire, there was very little she was actually willing to reveal of her personal life. Even to Caid she had not revealed more than a grain, and she had known him better before he left.

And now she was to remember the rage she'd felt that morning, the pain, the hurt. Alwine sighed as she closed her eyes, setting to that task. She had become calmer, since her training had begun in earnest. Less likely to fall into fits of violence, break furniture, scream. It seemed like those things had belonged to an entirely different person. Perhaps she had misjudged herself earlier. Perhaps she was not the same person.

Still, she did as bid. She did not know how to call the emotions so she revisited the memory of that morning instead. There had been celebrations the night before, and Gerwald had gone to celebrate with the confederacy about having spirits removed from Stewjon. Alwine had wanted to use the removal of the spirits to go run through the woods, and Varick had opted to join her. They'd been out the entire night, just like the Lupines always were when they decided to go to the woods. There was nothing different in anyone's behavior that night.

But then morning came, and both Alwine and Varick stepped into that living room, naked and dirty after their most recent shift. She had begun to smell something was different before the door even opened, but now that they were there, it was so strong that it felt tangible to her Lupine senses. Something they had been told did not exist, existed. For a moment, Alwine had hope. She thought the scent of another Lupine meant the end of their oppression on Stewjon. She thought the scent of another Lupine meant they were going away, going to find their own people, go to a place in which they did not have to cower in shame.

And a moment later she realized the scent had not lingered in the morning. The owner of that scent, a female, was gone. And Gerwald was gone with her. There would be no leaving for the Lechner siblings. There would be no liberation. Gerwald had run off, knowing exactly what kind of a place he was leaving his own brother and sister in. Desperately, Alwine had searched for a sign of fighting, maybe her brother was taken against his will, but… There was nothing.

She knew. Gerwald was gone. And she and Varick were left on Stewjon.

The anger had been slowly bubbling up inside the petite's body as she mentally walked through that memory. She had been so caught up in it that she'd forgotten to keep her mental shields up. But there were no teas that would form at the pain of this, no sadness. The sadness would come later. Now she just raged, the red rising to her cheeks.

Chocolate eyes snapped open. Abandoned. She glared at the candle. On Stewjon. A snarl formed in the back of her throat, a sound that no human vocal chords would ever be able to properly produce. Left for good on that planet, to hide and bow n servitude. The snarl gave way into a growl. The hairs on Alwine's arms and back of the neck stood. Where a tiny woman had been sitting a moment ago, now there was a predator crawling beneath her skin, not hidden, but easy to spot for anyone within range. The wolf inside of Alwine demanded to come out, but she was in charge now, holding it back by behaving just like it while remaining in her human form.

And then the growl turned into a deep scream, and all the candles within the hall lit on fire.

But she had dug too deep. She had gone too hard. The anger continued to rise within her, anger at her situation, anger had her inferiority compared to her peers within the Confederacy, anger at her brother and his auflaque, anger at Caid having gone, anger at still needing to depend on so many people and things for a sliver of stability in her life.

Alwine raged, and one by one, the items in the room began to light on fire as she continued to sit there and growl, the flames reflecting in her dark eyes.


[member="Jaron Lesan"]

 

[Jaron Lesan]

A smirk pulled at Jaron's lips as he felt the anger and darkness overshadow the young woman. Yes, she understood what was needed. The spark of anger, the spark of something that would allow her to ignite a flame without the need for fire. Not only could she manipulate fire, but she could create it. Alwine already knew that otherwise she would not have been trying to light the candle. Now that she had lit them all, perhaps she would know the feeling that she was looking for.

Jaron caused a wind and rain to put out the fire as he laughed a bit.

"You will need to identify that spark... control it now. Light one candle."

[member="Alwine Lechner"]

 

[Alwine Daye]

He was laughing, bringing the wind and the rain, but the new coolness against her skin did nothing to calm the Lupine down. She remained in her spot, the growls continuing to come from her throat as she looked at the wetness that was spreading, keeping her from being able to light things afire so easily again. But something else had awoken along with her rage; her need to destroy was ferociously hungry. She needed to shatter, break, to kill.

The chocolate eyes that drifted to the man held nothing human in their gaze. In front of him there was no tiny woman as she had appeared earlier, but a predator, snarling just beneath the surface, demanding to be let out. But training or no, Alwine knew she could not give in to it. Unlike what her brother thought, the wolf was not in charge. Unlike what many liked to believe, the human was not in change either. She was the Lupine, both human and wolf, and she. Would. Have. Control.

It may had been a minute before the wolf inside her bowed down to her, it might have been an hour. But when the woman blinked, she was herself again, with no threat of anything within her to come charging out again. When she looked the man again, there was simple frustration, all too easy to read upon her misleadingly delicate features.

"It is not a spark," she corrected him, "it is an inferno, better locked away. Surely there must be another way to go about it?"

[member="Jaron Lesan"]

 

[Jaron Lesan]

“Hmmmm,” Jaron scratched at his chin.

She held a blazing inferno inside of her, and anger that would not be quenched. It was the source of her power, and that was going to be a problem. Jaron sighed as the fire finally went out.

“You are going to have to learn how to control it. There is no other way. What seems to me is that you have let your anger control you rather than you controlling it. Fire is a dangerous thing, and if you are not careful it will consume you.”

He paused and looked at her.

“I am not suggesting that you have to get rid of your anger, but I am suggesting that you should not react with it. Your passions are a tool for you to use, and if you are going to serve the darkside then you simply just need to take what you want. If you want that candle to light, then control the inferno and make it bend to your will.”

Jaron nodded and pointed to the candle.

“This time just one.”

[member="Alwine Lechner"]

 

[Alwine Daye]

"My anger rarely controls me," Alwine snapped at him. It had, at times. There was no denying that. A moment ago, for example, or that morning on Stewjon. There had been a sparse few other instances. But on the whole, no. "I can turn it off, or I can turn it on. What I lack is control over the middle part of it, where only some of it is to be used."

Not react with it. How was she do to that? Oftentimes, blocking her anger was her immediate response to things. She knew the danger of letting it out. Here, in the training hall within the Citadel, it was relatively safe to unleash the fury that Alwine was still needing to keep inside her most of the time.

She had always imagined that once she was off of Stewjon, she would be free to be herself.

She had been wrong.

Now more than ever, it felt to the Lupine as though she was needing to work much harder to keep parts of herself buried deeply out of fear of ruining things. Gerwald had thought he had seen her rage when they had spoken, but she had given him the briefest of glances only, hiding her will to scream and break things and claw at his face for some of the things he had said. And why? Because to let that part of her out, to unleash it, would have had consequences. Consequences that could have all too easily led to her not having her brother in her life anymore, and that was not something Alwine wanted to happen, not ever. So she would resume to swallow most of her anger and to keep it in if it meant that the Lechner siblings would remain united. There was simply no other choice that was viable as far as she was concerned.

"Wait," she blinked, the remains of anger giving in to complete confusion, "join the Darkside?"

That… Had something she had only briefly discussed on a very shallow level with Maple Harte. Not enough for her to know if she wanted it… Or did not want it.

"Why do you think that is my wish?" she asked with genuine curiosity. This, for the moment, interested her more than the candle. Had she given him the sense that this what somehow what she wanted? That her mind was made up? Did she display symptoms that were more common with the Darkside than the Lightside?

Alwine turned away from the candle, looking at the man now. "I am Alwine," she suddenly remembered that they had not traded names. She had no need for his full name – but something simple so she could stop referring to him as 'the man' in her head would suffice.

[member="Jaron Lesan"]