Scourge of Yun-Amon

[Tefka]

One.

Two.

Sweat dripped off the brow of the titanic Tsavong Kraal.

Three.

Four.

The Yuuzhan Vong hybrid would propel himself off the floor and clap his hands together as he did pushups, and his lower pair of arms would catch him and do it again.

Each pair of arms would alternate.

Death to the Jedi.

Five.

Six.

Death to the Republic.

Seven.

Eight.

Glory to Yun-Amon, the Dark Lord.

Ding.

"Who is it?" Tsavong asked as he continued.

"Reports from the new yorik shipyards, Warchief." Damnable attendants. He was no longer the Warchief. "Your attendance is warranted."

"Moving," the behemoth responded, lifting from the floor and gathering his clothes. He left the apartment, entering the vibrant atmosphere of Coruscant and stopped in a McYoda's on the way to his meeting.

"One jawa juice, please."

 

[Hal Terrano]

Hal Terrano had never been to McYoda's before.

The life of a truly pious Jedi didn't allow Ropo McNuggets. Water, bread, pulses, cereal, foodstuffs that were as bland in colour as they were in taste that had been his life, that had been his discipline and now that was broken. When you give in to sin, you give into McYoda's. Those big green arches just pull you in and say:

Why not? You deserve it, buddy.

So he stood there in queue as Captain Jobsworth rushed around in a greasy acne-marked panic. Understaffed, the woes of the common man.

“What can I get you, sir?” Lord Pimple inquired, clearly having no patience for a dilly-dally.

“Blue milkshake,” Hal responded, having rehearsed his simple order the entire time he was in queue.

“Milkshake machine is out of order, sir.”

Foiled.

In a moment of poor social skills, Terrano could only do what came naturally to the nervous orderer. He copied a fellow patron. This was the plight of the introvert, the socially anxious. What he wouldn't give for bread and water right now.

“Fine. Jawa juice,” he said stiffly, echoing the monstrosity that was being server one queue over.

[member="Tsavong Kraal"]

 

[Tefka]

Tsavong's villip chirped as he picked up his jawa juice from the counter. "Thanks," he muttered. "Keep the change."

"Go," he said to the tizowyrm in his ear.

"Titan Industries stock has nearly doubled since our announcement this morning." Expected. This new class of warship was unprecedented and would change the military of the One Sith as they knew it. "The Board is requesting your presence immediately at the shipyards."

"They'll wait."

"As expected, Dread Lord." Damn right. Someone must've corrected her. "Will you be bringing a +1? We'll need to put them on the visitor's list and get him a badge."

"Yes," he said, eyeing the man picking up the jawa juice next to him. "List unecessary."

"You, there." Tsavong approached the man next to him ordering a cup of jawa. "You look military. I'm commissioning a vessel for the OSNS. Do you have transportation? I could use an escort."

"I'll pay."

 

[Hal Terrano]

As Captain Minimum Wage fought with plastic cups and the long suffering jawa juice machine Hal found himself irritated. The atmosphere of McYoda's was one of over-stimulation, the lights were too bright, the chatter was too loud and the smells seemed to fill your nostrils with cholesterol.

He caught snippets of conversation here and there, life moved on all around him. Questions. From the perspective of the McYoda's queue, life was a series of questions.

Why doesn't he notice me?

The boss is being such a schutta today, what's up her butt?

Dude, don't you know what the frenul-

You, there.

The imposing creature came close, clearly addressing Hal and the stern-faced man turned to look barely existent eyebrows finding themselves raised in curiosity. Giving large monsters a ride around town hadn't been his plan for the day, but come to think of it, he didn't have any plans. Maybe some mild training, a spot of contemplation, a cheeky fifteen minutes reserved for scowling perhaps.

Change of plans. We're going on an adventure. Let spontaneity be the spice of your life, Terrano.

With exact change already spread out on the counter Hal offered the creature a curt nod, “Fine.” His people skills were still lacking. “I'm parked outside, let's go.” With jawa juice already in hand, he turned and went for the exit assuming that his new large companion would follow.

[member="Tsavong Kraal"]

 

[Tefka]

Upon observing the rinky dink speeder that [member="Hal Terrano"] rode in, Tsavong scowled. Broad shoulders and quadruple arms folded as he wedged himself into the passenger seat, continuing to frown.

"Nice ride," he grumbled.

They took off towards the ship yards.

 

[Hal Terrano]

“It's a rental,” Terrano responded bluntly, making sure that he at least was strapped in properly, safety first. Not that the monster had to worry about seatbelts, given that he was so tightly wedged into the passenger's side that even a horrific high speed crash probably wouldn't have budged him.

The engine burst to life and so did the radio:

Hey hey! It's time for the power ballad hour with me, your beloved breakfeast host Tkkk'att'akaki!

Open your eyes, I see.

Your eyes are open.

Hal shifted uncomfortably in his seat as the love song began to pour fourth from the airwaves. Not exactly the best listening material when you're hurtling through the Coruscant skies with the burly beast man.

Wear no disguise, for me.

Come into the op-

Swiftly the man turned off the radio, trying to prevent the scene from getting a little too weird. Even with his stunted social skills conversation would be preferable. “What are you?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the skies whilst lacking any form of subtly.

[member="Tsavong Kraal"]

 

[Tefka]

[member="Hal Terrano"]

"I am Tsavong," he responded, awkwardly enjoying the flight as the wind whipped against his face. The song seemed to pay him no bother.

They could see the entrance to the shipyards just up ahead.

"Park in the CEO's guest spot, please."

 

[Hal Terrano]

“I see,” nodded Hal as he descended into awkward silence, who needs to talk on speeder rides anyway. Just lose yourself and let Coruscant pass you by, maybe picture somebody running or flying alongside the speeder. Actually no, it's a touch strange to imagine a monster playing that game.

CEO's guest spot? We're feeling fancy here, but we'll never be royals (royals).

Given that the space was big enough to accommodate more beastly vehicles Hal parked up the rental with the greatest ease imaginable and slid out. A temptation rose within him to go around the other side and open the door for his beast but that would have been silly. We're not driving Miss Daisvong.

As they entered the shipyards Hal once again broke the silence with a new question. “Can you tell me about this vessel?”

[member="Tsavong Kraal"]

 

[Tefka]

[member="Hal Terrano"]

"It's going to change the galaxy," he muttered, stepping out of the vehicle once they parked. The speeder rocked violently as he did.

"Come," he bellowed. "Envision the future with me."

He began walking to the ship yard docking gate as the guards waved him past. They almost made a move to block Hal, but the beast turned and snorted. They stood silently still.

In the distance, down the long walk of the pier, stood a massive structure that eclipsed all others. From it jutted several large spikes that seemed to emit a green smoke in the distance.

"Behold,"

 

[Hal Terrano]

Very dramatic.

Of course, dramatics worked with Hal just about as well as well as gourmet cooking worked with Gamorreans, that is to say, not very well. Have you ever seen a pig man eat entrées? It's not pretty, it's like the finger food massacre. However, as much as Hal was a buzzkill he would not aim to ruin the creature's moment of theatrics.

The guards that initially attempted to block him received an icy stare on the way past as his escort essentially snorted them into submission. Evidently he was a monster with both sway and authority.

Maybe even swag.

Frowning slightly he observed the structure, Hal was not a tech-head, nor was he a mechanic. Living as a pious Jedi hadn't provided him with this kind of technical information, having only just learned the finer details of piloting a speeder since he came to Coruscant.

“It's certainly...imposing.”

[member="Tsavong Kraal"]

 

[Tefka]

"It's my style," Tsavong retorted. "I like imposing."

The swag continued to stir in circles around Tsavong as he continued down the path towards the ship and turned to [member="Hal Terrano"].

"It's a new warship for the fleet. One that will save the lives of several men such as yourself." He motioned to Hal with one of his four hands. "And it will turn the battle against the Republic." The behemoth continued to lumber along the long stretch of pier that led out to the new warship. A welcoming party greeted the two of them, and Tsavong ushered them to let Hal up on the speaking podium with him as the Yuuzhan Vong prepared to make his speech.

"A new destroyer, for a new age," he began to applause.

 

[Hal Terrano]

He might as well have been talking to a sausage roll.

Hal Terrano's status as former pious Jedi had left him as a bit of a fuddy duddy when it came to technology, people cringed when he had to use a datapad, he tapped away with one finger as if the membrane of the screen was deaf, dumb and blind. Technology eluded him, and that included ships.

"I'm glad to hear it."

However it did offer an element of comfort, knowing that above his head there were fearsome warships defending his life and ultimately preventing death by some form of orbital bombardment.

Up with [member="Tsavong Kraal"] at the podium, Hal stood, arms straight down at his sides, letting the Yuuzhan Vong make his speech. Let's see you give 'em the old razzle dazzle.