will you sink down to me?
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It had been a long time.
Maybe too long.
Damsy didn't think that anyone could really forget her—was that arrogance or self-deprecation?—but she was worried that Jenn had moved on from their very unconventional friendship. All the evidence that Damsy needed to suggest that possibility was now standing before her: a Mandalorian compound built in the Onderon Highlands. When she had only known by what holonet sources told her, there had been room to not quite doubt but question, but both the presence and scale of the Clangrounds now was undeniable.
Good for her.
The Sith Lady's smile, meant for no one but herself and the ghosts of her friends, didn't reach her eyes. Its intended emotion stagnated on her cheeks and she coughed out a single laugh, light despite the heaviness of all that was occurring to her at once:
They had been here before—in this situation, not the setting, what seemed like a lifetime ago—but the roles had been switched. Jenn had found Damsy somehow at The Reef on Coruscant when the Sithspawn Sanctorium had been the home she had forsaken Netra'yaim and House Verd for. If memory served, Jenn had belonged to a clan even back then, but it certainly hadn't been what it was now. Now, today, here, it was breathtaking. And Damsy was left wondering if Jenn would once again be able to see Damsy's worth through all her dishonor and corruption.
She suddenly stumbled out of stillness, one of her feet somehow slipping off solid ground. The soft sounds of burning grass only registered when she glanced down. Orange flames engulfed the short blades of grass that obscured her left boot and lapped at the grey leather. As she rose her heel, half-molten strings of mineral topsoil pulled up from the earth with her sole. "Bogan dujikri zhol..." She stepped her left foot away and brought her right down on the fire—once, twice, three times—to stomp out the fire.
I ain't mad, she tried convincing herself. I ain't mad. I ain't mad.
Though her mental tone intensified with each repetition of the mantra, she really wasn't mad. Instead, she was being firm, expressing her resolve. Anger wasn't what stirred in her body, what had wet this hellish mud like rain.
Though her mental tone intensified with each repetition of the mantra, she really wasn't mad. Instead, she was being firm, expressing her resolve. Anger wasn't what stirred in her body, what had wet this hellish mud like rain. It was a deep sadness. Disappointment. Self-hatred. And it was easier to explode than to implode. That's why Syreni took out their shared frustrations on their surroundings, be that the environment or other beings. Such a tactic still hurt the same but was less lonely regardless of if those who suffered with her did it willingly or not.
With an outlook like that, maybe she ought stop trying to pretend like there was any line separating her brand of Sith from the grand majority.
The fire had been snuffed out, but then exploded out from underneath her boots, both this time.
"Sudas!" she hissed as smoke rose all around her and reached up into the calm blue sky.