Send in the Clones (Fabula Cavataio)

[Doctor Zendu]

Location: Doctor Zendu's Private Practice, Belasco.

Doctor Robert Zendu was engrossed in a Holo mag called "Xenopsychiatry Today," when he suddenly noticed his Datapad pinging. It was a notification from his receptionist that his next patient had arrived and was sitting in the waiting room of his private practice. The doctor didn't much care for this particular receptionist because she failed to thoroughly screen his patients during their initial Holo interviews. Case in point, his next patient's file was virtually useless to him. This was unacceptable for a new patient, he thought with a frown, and was going to have to hand the woman her walking papers. But in the meantime, he at least digested the basics:

Name: [member="Fabula Cavataio"]
Age: Unknown
Occupation: Unknown
Species: Human

There wasn't much to go on so he'd have to do a little extra leg work during their first therapy session. Carrying the patient file under his arm, Doctor Zendu opened up the door to his waiting room, and flashing a dirty look at his receptionist, called his new patient's name.

"Fabula Cavataio?"

 

[Fabula Caromed]

Fabula shouldn't have been here. This was the wrong place to be. People went to psychiatrists. People, not "genetically and alchemically engineered clones with metaphysical deficiencies leading to a pathological inferiority complex regarding all proper humans." She barely had the credits to pay for a session. If she didn't have enough cheap fuel and nutrient paste to last her for a week or two, she probably would've had to do something drastic just to keep flying. Every possible reasoning in favor of self-preservation or propriety told her to just get up and run out.

But she needed to be here. Fabula had promised Lynn that she would get help. Lynn was on medication and trying her best, so Fabula had to do more than ignore her problems and try to contain them. She needed to resolve them. She needed to be as normal as possible to give Lynn the relationship she deserved. She couldn't chicken out now, just because she didn't think she deserved to be taking up some professional's time with her niggling flaws...which was a bit silly, because it was literally his job to do exactly that.

Locked in her own little private corner of frantic unreality (rather than the rather ostentatious waiting room she was actually sitting in), Fabula had to make a genuine effort to notice when her name was called. Fortunately there wasn't exactly a line out the door. She wasn't forcing anyone else to wait just so she could have a talk with someone in order to figure out how messed up she was. It was the little things like that that mattered when you had to continuously convince yourself that you had purpose in the galaxy besides taking up valuable oxygen.

Focus. There's a man waiting on you, stupid girl.

Fabula stood from the small couch she'd been sitting on the edge of (even though she was the only one in the room) and gave a quick bow and a smile to the man at the door. She repeated with the receptionist, then silently followed the doctor into his office proper. Too late to back out now. She was stuck with the consequences of her decision regardless of whether or not it was the right one.
[member="Doctor Zendu"]

 

[Doctor Zendu]

Doctor Zendu followed his new patient into his office, a sleekly decorated, softy lit space that had expansive windows looking out over the sparkling city below the sky tower. A serving droid rolled up to Fabula with a bleep, offering her a glass water infused with namana fruit. Ushering her to the corner of the office that housed his desk, a few chairs, and plush, white Hover sofa, he turned and gave her a tight-lipped smile.

"Welcome Fabula," the psychiatrist said, still clutching her file to his chest. "Please have a seat anywhere you like. Most patients prefer the Hover sofa. They find it conducive to opening up the lines of communication. If you prefer it a little darker in here, I can activate privacy screens as well."

Pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, he placed her file carefully on his obsessively neat desk and then perched on the edge. "While you're deciding, maybe you could tell me a bit more about why you came to see me today?"

[member="Fabula Cavataio"]

 

[Fabula Caromed]

Okay, so Fabula had a choice to make. She needed to find a place to sit that would put her host in the most comfortable position possible. He would obviously choose where to sit based on where she chose to sat. It wasn't something she felt was necessary, but it was likely something he would do, since he offered her a choice. But he did suggest the couch. Did that mean he wanted her to sit there? Or would he rather have sat there himself? She was at an impasse and needed to compromise.

Without a word, Fabula sat at the very edge of the hovercouch, her hands placed delicately in her lap and something like a halfhearted attempt at a smile on her face. Hopefully that would leave him all of the space he might need while also appeasing to the potential of being directed where to sit. It was staggering how much thought she could put into trying to follow implied orders and then solve all of her other problems with summary violence.

He asked you a question. Respond. "I'm currently in a relationship with a woman who I love very dearly. I cannot understand what she sees in me, but I see something of divinity in her." Oh, quite the poet. Maybe Lynn was rubbing off on her. "But we both have...problems. She's taking medication to stabilize herself, and I feel it's only fair that I also work to improve."
[member="Doctor Zendu"]

 

[Doctor Zendu]

The doctor raised an eyebrow when she sat on the very edge of the Hover sofa. "Please, the sofa is yours to lie on," he explained with an amused smirk. Then he grabbed a small black notebook from his desk and a pen from his front pocket, taking a seat directly in front of her in a spare chair.

As she talked, Doctor Zendu furiously scribbled down a few notes. He only paused to look up at her with a polite, concerned expression and a furrowed brow. When she was finished, he folded his thin hands over his notebook and grinned. "First of all, congratulations on finding love in the galaxy. I treat many patients who feel like the pursuit of romance is a futile effort at best, and I just tell them to keep trying. I also do couple's therapy so if sometime down the line you feel like that's something you're interested in, well, let's discuss." He picked up his notebook again. "But first let's talk about you."

"Tell me, Fabula, when you say you both have problems, what exactly does that mean?"

[member="Fabula Cavataio"]

 

[Fabula Caromed]

Taking a deep breath, Fabula stared evenly at Zendu with an expression that didn't look at all unlike she was about to cry. "It means that the last time we fought, she thought I was part of a conspiracy masterminded by her family to ruin her life, and I responded by breaking her arm in three places." Not the subtlest of girls. Fabs felt a need to be direct and honest about her relationship. The only way she'd be able to be a functional companion for Lynn was if she was properly mended, and half-truths and political correctness wasn't going to get her to that point.

The sad girl didn't move an inch, despite being given free run of the full couch. It was ingrained too deeply into her mind to be unobtrusive. She sat still as a statue and fathoms more emotional, and her tiny mouse of a voice almost cracked when she spoke. "She's recovered. I think she might have even forgiven me." There was a long moment of silence, and Fabula wrung her hands in her lap, her eyes dropping to the ground. "I haven't."

She could have killed Lynn. Easily. If she hadn't stopped herself by reasserting control, she probably would have. Only through inflicting emotional and mental trauma on herself had she prevented the death of the woman who held her heart by her own hands. Fabula couldn't hide it anymore. She needed serious help.
[member="Doctor Zendu"]

 

[Doctor Zendu]

When his patient had finished, Doctor Zendu politely arose from his seat and plucked a neatly-folded handkerchief off his desk, placing it carefully on the couch next to Fabula. He then settled back into his seat and jotted down a few more notes.

He sighed lightly. "I appreciate your candor, Fabula. It's brave of you to come forward with actions that don't paint yourself in the most flattering light. I have found a tendency in my patients, and in new ones in particular, to try and hide the bad things they've done from me, and well, that's not conducive to healing. I'm your doctor. I'm not here to wag my finger at you." With a broad grin, the psychiastrist gave her a mock finger wag to demonstrate his point. "Your openness with me is refreshing." The doctor tapped his pen on his notebook on the last word and grinned at Fabula.

"While this isn't a judgement on you, merely an observation. I do see some warning signs in your relationship as you currently describe it. Upon first blush, there seems to be an aspect of dominance and submission, in other words a power struggle, between you and she, as well as a crossing of boundaries, particularly by your violent actions. Of course, I don't know the whole story so I could be wrong about those initial assessments." He shrugged and adjusted his horn-rimmed glasses.

"Perhaps you should start at the beginning so that I can get a clearer picture? How did you two meet?"

[member="Fabula Cavataio"]

 

[Fabula Caromed]

Oh, now that was a story Fabula would never get tired of telling. "I live alone. I have for...a very long time. Normally I'm able to accept this, but sometimes I can't help but break down and feel the need for some company." This wasn't story. This was background. Fabula almost felt bad about not being able to honor a request immediately, but there was context needed. "Normally, I land on a planet and just walk around for a while. Secondhand attention is usually enough for me, but one evening, I think...I must have felt brave?"

Matukai practice left Fabs with a keen knowledge of what blushing felt like. She managed to get it under control almost immediately. "I walked into a bar. I'm sorry, but I can't remember the name of the planet. Normally I avoid bars. I get too much attention, and it tends to make me uncomfortable." A tiny smile crept to her lips. "I walked in and there was a Mandalorian in dark green armor sitting at the counter. He didn't say anything. Motioned me over and bought me a drink." She could feel her toes curling in her sneakers. This was one of the finest memories of her short life. "Chocolate stout. I'm not much of a drinker; it left me...quite suggestible. Fortunately, he was a perfect gentleman. Rather than take advantage of me, he took me out for a walk to cool my head."

She was drifting pretty strongly. She could practically remember the smell of the beach, the sounds of the waves rushing against the classic, wooden pier. The garden they had traipsed through before was as clear in her mind as the day it had happened. "He never spoke, and I said very little. It was just two of us, sharing silent company. Nothing was expected of us. We had no one to impress and no standards to follow." Fabula stretched her back a bit, relaxing just the tiniest amount on the plethora of empty space she'd left on the hovercouch. "Through a garden in the moonlight, then a walk along the beach...it was the best night of my life."

The Dathomiri woman had lost track of her own bodily control. She was blushing freely now, and couldn't meet the man's gaze no matter how hard she tried. "When we were too tired, we returned to my ship for the evening. He removed his armor, and I met Lynn. We had an interesting night, as I was nervous and she was struggling with reality, but that was memorable, too." It had been her first night of intimacy. Nothing else really compared to that. All because she was lonely and took a chance. She idly wished she could do that more often; between Ember, Alna, Lynn, and Fable, all of the good things to happen in her life had happened because she had decided to be brave.
[member="Doctor Zendu"]

 

[Doctor Zendu]

As Fabula told her story, the doctor took many notes, but mostly he just listened. He didn't often get to hear his patients tell beautiful stories. His office was chock full of so many tragedies and dramas that usually a full day of seeing patients thoroughly drained him at the end of it.

When his patient was finished, Doctor Zendu folded his thin fingers over one knee and gave her a tight-lipped smile. "It sounds like you started off your relationship in a good place. A healthy place, from what you're telling me. Perhaps if you could try and recapture those feelings you had about Lynn. To remember what it was like to feel like you didn't need any forgiving when you and she were together. Well, that could be a good start, I believe. You obviously have something beautiful together and somehow you have to get back to that." At that last word he tapped his pen on his notebook.

He lifted up his notebook, poising his pen in front of it. "Do you feel like it's possible to have that kind of relationship again? My guess is that she has probably forgiven you but you haven't forgiven yourself. Do you think that maybe you're being too hard on yourself?"

[member="Fabula Cavataio"]

 

[Fabula Caromed]

Too hard on herself? Patently impossible. It was Fabula's fault. She had committed a grievous crime and deserved the harshest treatment. When it was impossible in the most literal sense for one person to defend herself against another, where the fault laid became pretty clear. Fabula brushed off that question with a shake of her head, intentionally ignoring it until such time as she could reflect a bit more deeply. But then, she couldn't refuse someone to his face. She sold her head shake as a response to another statement he made. "I still feel the same about her. Nothing has changed about how I see her."

Her face melted into another weak, puppy-love smile from just thinking about the perfection that was the woman she could always count on to keep her company, even when an entire galaxy separated them. She was never lonely for longer than it took her to get Lynn on a holocall, never sad for longer than it took her to hear her say "my lovely." How to put that to words? Lynn was always better with words, but hopefully Fabs had picked up a trick or two. "She's a goddess made flesh. I've seen more people - human and otherwise - than I could possibly hope to count, and yet she is the most perfect creature I've ever laid eyes on. She's driven, but gentle with me. When she speaks it's like an artist bringing life to a blank canvas." So...apparently she had picked up a thing or two from Lynn.

Wringing her hands in her lap, Fabula's eyes fell to the ground and her head followed in short order. "I feel the same about her. I don't feel the same about me." Aaaah, the root of the problem. If she were to be totally honest and a bit more introspective, Fabula would have commented that she did feel the same about herself. It's just that that wasn't a good thing to begin with. She found the idea of losing control and hurting Lynn to be entirely within character for herself. Stupid girl.
[member="Doctor Zendu"]

 

[Doctor Zendu]

A few more notes were scribbled, then Doctor Zendu put his notebook on his lap and folded his thin hands on top of it. "Fabula, I think one thing that we could focus on in our future sessions is working on your self-esteem, which seems to be rather low. When one person has low self-esteem in a relationship, it tends to cause a kind of co-dependency that can be toxic to the partnership."

"I would caution you not to put her up on a pedestal Fabula," the doctor stated, scratching his thin thoughtfully. "Again, there is an element of inequality in your relationship that's troubling to me. Perhaps, if you would be willing. I could treat you both in a couples therapy situation. It might help our sessions for me to witness your dynamic firsthand. And for us to all talk about it together." He gave his patient a toothy grin.

"What are your thoughts on that?"

[member="Fabula Cavataio"]