Private Show Me The Way To the Next Whiskey Bar

[Jax Thio]

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Location: Jax's Apartment​

Equipment: Jedi Robes, Jax's Lightsaber​

Tag: Bandit Six​

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Jax's legs felt like jelly being stacked on top of each other.​

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He'd just finished a mission assisting the Coruscant Police Force in stopping a robbery in a bank. It wasn't too hard, the robbers were bold but foolish not helping their case was the fact that they were chitty shots. Honestly putting a Jedi to lead the retaking of the bank was overkill but Jax did his duty none the less. He celebrated afterwards by going to a local bar and drinking. Jax at first just wanted to hang out and probably drink one or two beers just to get the buzz going. 12 drinks later, Jax found himself stumbling around the streets of Coruscant yelling at a rock he found on the streets about it taunting Jax over the death of his master. "I should've died okay!" the Jedi yelled. "I shouldn't be a Jedi Knight but here I am!"​

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The next thing Jax knew was that he was bumbling around like a Wookie on roller skates dragging himself towards the door of his apartment. Was it the force that guided him to his home? Perhaps, but given how wasted he was it's likely out of instinct than guidance from the force. Master Oda had told Jax once that drinking too much dulled one's connection to the force. Jax didn't care though, Whiskey was so damn addictive pressing the button Jax bumbled his way into his room his vision obscured by the darkness in front of him. Was the Jax's room dark or did he drink so much that it temporarily blinded him? Jawa Juice combined with a few drops of whiskey was said to cause temporary blindness. Jax remembered drinking 3 of them today.​

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"Hey Droid!" Jax yelled waving his arms as though he was batting away flies coming to his face. "Turn on the light will ya?!"​

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As soon as he said it, the lights came on blinding Jax. "Frack!" he said putting his arms up. "Too bright damn it! At least you're actually listening to me!"​

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Just then, Jax sensed a brief tremor in the force but before he could react he felt a cold hand grab the back of his neck. The Jedi yelped in pain while he heard a mechanical roar, the assailant smashed Jax's head through the window as pieces of glass came flying out landing 36 floors below. "Where's the Droid Jedi?!" a man's voice yelled in Jax's ear. He was definitely part of the Cybersouls gang based on his metallic voice. Jax could even hear the whirring of gears as he spoke. "Where's BB-12?!"​

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"Try looking up your ass," Jax said his voice garbled and blood trickling down from​

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[Bandit 6]

It was 3 in the kraking morning! Bandit was trying to nurse a hangover and some idiots were yelling in the apartment next door.

With a round kick the rodent kicked the door open and waddled in. He was still a little inebriated, somewhere in that drunk hungover range.

“SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!”

He reached down and scratched his crotch, concealed under a small pair of boxers. For a moment he didn’t seem to realize what he had interrupted, but when the other man pulled a blaster out Bandit ducked behind the sofa just in time to avoid becoming a fur hat.

“I didn’t know this place had a rodent problem! Did you see the size of that rat?!?!

“I ain’t no rat you bantha backside!”

“Whoa! It talks!”

Jax Thio

 

[Jax Thio]

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Location: Jax's Apartment​

Equipment: Jedi Robes, Jax's Lightsaber​

Tag: Bandit Six​

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The buildings ahead looked blurry as Jax struggled to remain conscious looks like that slam through the window took a lot out of him. That or it was the alcohol continuing to dull his senses. "Where's the droid chit head!" The tech infested thug yelled placing his neck against the jagged edges of the broken glass. "He owes us a debt!"​

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What the frack did BB-12 do this time? And where the hell was he?! Usually he'll be in the apartment watching soap operas on the Holonet or using Jax's credit card to order large stacks of Pizza. The fact that he would be involved with a gang that he and Jax have been spending months fighting was crazy even for him. "You might want to ask the next door," Jax slurred watching drops of blood fall off his head. "Because I don't know what the frack you're talking about."​

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Boy once Jax gets sober, BB-12 will have a lot of explaining to do wherever he was. Just then a voice was heard from behind the cyber infused pair, the voice sounded high pitched and irritable sounding as though he just got up. Immediately the thug released Jax from his grip. The Jedi's neck scraped against some of the shards left near the window. Thankfully the wounds were only superficial compared to the deep cuts sustained on his head. "You're gonna pay for that window nerf herder," Jax muttered rubbing his head. "And you didn't bother to check to see if people would intrude in your little interrogation? Nice security guys, no tech in the world can cure your stupidity."​

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"Quiet!" The hulking cyberthug yelled while staring at what appears to be a Racoon?​

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"Holy chit," Jax sighed rubbing his eyes trying to make sure the talking Racoon he saw was real. "I gotta lay off the deathsticks."​

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Reality was stranger than fiction.​

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[Bandit 6]

“People are trying to sleep! What the frak is all the noise about?”

He glanced around the apartment, or what he could see from behind the sofa at least. There was a lot of glass on the floor. Bandit carefully picked up a shard and held it as a makeshift weapon. His hands were designed for digging through trash so it was easy enough not to get cut but the human didn’t have the same luxury. His head was bleeding pretty bad. Bandit could smell the blood all the way over here.

“How about we all pick this up latter at a decent hour? We can get pancakes. “

Jax Thio

 

[Jax Thio]

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Location: Jax's Apartment​

Equipment: Jedi Robes, Jax's Lightsaber​

Tag: Bandit Six​

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"None of your business you talking Rat!" The giant Cybersouls thug lorded over the Racoon his cyber implanted eyes locked in to his small black ones. "Why don't you do us a favor and frack off to the nearest river or I'll squash you like a grape!"​

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"You folks aren't really smart are you?" Jax said shaking his head, the talking Racoon was real and he had the personality of BB-12 how quaint. Right now these two sad sacks of chit need to get out of his apartment. "You know when apprehending a Jedi," Jax said reaching into the force to summon his Lightsaber resting on his hilt. "You know what the first you should do?"​

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"Quiet!" The skinny cyber infected thug pulled out his blaster pistol a modified DL-18 blaster pistol from the looks of it and aimed it towards Jax's bloodied forehead.​

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The Jedi remained undeterred, a smirk forming on his face, "take their Lightsaber away from them," he finished. "You pricks haven't even done the bare minimum."​

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A pregnant pause passed with both men looking at each other fear etched on their faces. The Lightsaber flung onto Jax's hand, a blink of green accompanying it. Before the skinny thug could react he saw his blaster pistol split in two, the front half falling onto the floor. "OH CHIT!" The Cybersoul yelled.​

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With a twirl of his Lightsaber, Jax aimed the green blade towards the his long neck. "Oh well," he chuckled a wicked grin formed on his face. He was still sober enough to at chop up some fools, let's see if they continue to their dull-witted ways. "I dare you," The Jedi thought holding the blade closer to the thug's neck.​

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[Bandit 6]

“I’m not a talking rat! Seriously do I look like someone who trains turtles to be Ninja?! “

Bandit was used to not being recognized as more than a raccoon, after all it wasn’t everyday they met a failed lab experiment, but usually peole didn’t mistake him for an entirely different species! For real these guys needed to open a book. Their stupidity seemed to sink in further when it was revealed the darker skinned human was a Jedi. What had Bandit walked in on?

Bandit used the distraction to scurry up the couch and jump, flying through the air and landing on the mans arm. He sunk the piece of glass into the mans bicep. With a yell the man dropped the blaster and flung his arms frantically, trying to fling Bandit.

“Get it off! Get it off!”

Bandit couldn’t hold on any longer. He went flying and hit the wall with a thud. He slid down to the baseboard and rubbed the back of his head, wondering if his vision was doubled because of the fall or because he was still drunk.

The man was still screaming and trying to pull the glass shard out of his arm as bandit scurried across the floor and scooped up the blaster. He then climbed the curtains and hung off them, like some would be pirate hanging off the side of a ship.

“If I kill you all will I be able to get some sleep?!?!!”

He held the blaster ready but despite the bluff Bandit wasn’t a killer. But sleep deprivation made people do crazy things ...


Jax Thio

 

[Jax Thio]

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Location: Jax's Apartment​

Equipment: Jedi Robes, Jax's Lightsaber​

Tag: Bandit Six​

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"You see? You've pissed off the talking Raccoon" Jax said holding his Lightsaber at the shaking skinny man he was impressed at the Raccoon's fighting prowess even stealing his blaster and pointing it at him. "It's three o clock in the morning and you fracks just did the worst ambush I've ever seen."​

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Jax scrunched his nose frowning at the frightened thug. "Don't worry," he said. "I ain't going to kill you so you'll live long enough to change your pants. But what I want to know is who the frack sent you? And why this droid in particular?"​

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"We don't have to tell you chit!" The large man yelled. "Larius will find that butter ball and make rip him alive!"​

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"All right," Jax said. "Larius thank you for the information!"​

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"Chit!" The large man growled holding out his arm a small blaster canon emerged from his forearm and immediately began to fire blaster bolts the skinny man yelped dropping down before any bolts hit him. Jax immediately deflected blasters with various bolts hitting the Holo Tv, the refrigerator and the walls. "Come on Jerry!" the large man yelled. "Let's get out of here!"​

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[Bandit 6]

A few words into the conversation and a foul stench hit Bandits nose. When the Jedi pointed out what it was the raccoon lost it. He fell from the curtains and rolled onto the floor in laughter.

“Hope he wore his brown pants!”

It was a good thing Bandit had a sense of humor because when the bolts went flying they singed the curtains where he had been. Damn he was getting pretty lucky today.

He flung himself under the couch as the Jedi waved the magic wand around. A few moments latter the bad guys were fleeing out the door.

Bandit didn’t immediately come out. The thugs were one thing but the Jedi could actually be dangerous. Instead he peered at the man from under the couch with his beady black eyes.

Jax Thio

 

[Jax Thio]

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Location: Jax's Apartment​

Equipment: Jedi Robes, Jax's Lightsaber​

Tag: Bandit Six​

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Even though the incompetent assholes managed to slip away, they gave Jax enough information to start his investigation. Who was Larius? Given the months Jax spent battling this gang, it was probably a new guy. But given that there were thousands of them prowling amongst the lower floors of Coruscant he need to make sure. The Jedi wiped the blood from his brow and stared at the Raccoon was yelling at the running goons, now who in fracks name was he?! Jax had rented this apartment for about a decade and he has never seen him around. Even the Landlord would've made a note of him well to shake down rent from the Raccoon.​

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"Uhhh yeah," Jax went and began to head towards the bathroom to continue clean up his wounds and also try to concentrate. So BB-12 has gone missing, he nearly got punked by idiotic thugs and now a walking, talking Racoon had randomly slipped into his apartment crying about not geting sleep. Sometimes Jax wondered if that rehab at Gaias did the trick because this night just got a whole lot weirder.​

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"Thanks for helping me," Jax said using a wet washcloth to clean his wound. "I didn't know there was a Racoon here. You got a name?" Jax lumbered over to the Racoon softly dabbing his forehead. "I'm Jax," he said. "You probably know my occupation."​

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[Bandit 6]

“Bandit..”

He crawled out from his hiding place and started dusting himself off. All of the commotion had effectively killed his buzz but the hangover that was setting in was sure to be a major one.

“You got any caf?”

He rubbed his head and noticed his vest had a blaster hole in it.

“Frak. I just got this. What did those bantha behinds want anyway?”

Jax Thio