Silence is its own form of communication

[Gabriel Sionoma]

His body still hurt. Even through hyperspace, even through the travel and discourse with Omai Rhen, the offering of the body of the voice provided reward of rank, Gabriel still hurt. That use of tutaminis, it was reckless. Act blinded by compassion, recklessness justified for the potential consequence. The risk not considered. And now, with old wounds aggravated and much needed rest, he found his mind tumbling through idle thought. The sort of thing that his numerous hobbies were developed to combat.

The images he saw on Dromund Kaas, the images of his loved ones upon crucifixion and his tongue ripped out by the root. The wails of the thousands that stood beneath him as he added one more to the sum. The thoughts of the Mandalorians glassing the planet, the pillar he used as a weapon that was once offering for sacrifice. Body stripped bare against the stone, whipped until their was nothing left. He tried to close his eyes, shake it free from his mind, as he landed near the homestead in the light of day.

"Jedi Marshall..." He stopped the internal disagreement, wondering why he even bothered with it. Chevu had said he belonged with the Galactic Alliance, so long ago, but now the very act threatened to split significant portions of the alliance away from itself. He hated the thought of that, more boon to have never shown up in the first place. He wondered what his life would have been like if he had turned around at Saurbi, drifted through space as a roaming entity, no longer tethered. But then thoughts turned to Armaud and Destin and Ava, those who had given him the strength to prevail on Dromund Kaas.

Approaching the family room, he cracked open a bottle of whiskey and poured a serving. It was early but he was tired and likely not fully healed, a body pushed to its limits for a soul that seemed entirely removed from the consequences. He hoped he hadn't woke the children up, he'd hate to stir Ava from likely much needed rest. Though knowing her, she was around and awake. Maybe just getting back from a run. He closed his eyes, leaning over the table, as he sat the Sith Lords weapon down on the bartop. It held no inherent power and he promised the Grand Marshall that he would try and glean what he could from the hilt.

But now wasn't the time for that, he didn't have the proper balance for it.

[member="Avalore Eden"]​

 

[Avalore Eden]

"Gabe?" a faint, groggy tone sounded from one of the large stuffed couches in the family room, "that you?"

All was quiet within the homestead - an unusual sound to hear when one was as familiar with its ebb and flow of energy. The comings and goings of residents and guests. The sounds of the twins in all manner of emotional distress at any given time of the day. Silence. Yes. A cherished, rare, valuable thing. Avalore had fallen asleep on the couch after finally getting Destin to bed at 4am. She looked to the nearby grandfather clock with a bleary gaze: 7:24.

"Ohh..." her head peeked up over the top of the couch, left side of her face marked by the impression of the textured pillow, hair a mess. She didn't care. Gabe had seen her worse states than this and they'd only been living together for a few months. Raising twins did that to people - brought them together real quick, for better or worse.

"Hey," the Healer managed a smile, brown eyes reddened from lack of sleep slowly looking his figure over, "you're alive. That's great," they were making progress. Dull as her senses might be when it came to the nuances of the Force, she could not help but see the gloom of his expression. Smile fading, Avalore moved to sit up a bit more, "what's wrong?"

[member="The Revenant"]

 

[Gabriel Sionoma]

"Wrong?" He paused, smirking at the imprint of the pillow on her face. She looked tired, maybe more so than him. "Nothings wrong..." He shook his head, a shallow and slow shake if there ever was one, before downing the serving of whiskey and refilling it. It was early but space travel screwed up interpretation of time and position. It was all muddied for the man who spent his time in hyperspace, bouncing from planet to planet, when he wasn't busy weaving baskets and making jewelry. Among his other hobbies.

"I went to Dromund Kaas..." He confessed. "An attack by a coalition against the Primeval. And just like Taloraan, I fought against Vornskr." He tilted his head, lifting the lightsaber up to the second level of the bar top. For her to take and look at if she wanted. "Only difference is that this time, I made sure Vornskr was gone. I have his ashes and bones with me..." He confessed once more through clenched teeth. "Omai Rhen, after promoting me to Jedi Marshall, has requested that I look over the remains. Discern some form of humanity or presence from them..."

He bared his teeth with a micro expression of frustration, flaring his nostrils, as he clawed at his beard. He hadn't slept much on the ride back and groggily, he had made it through the conversation with the Grand Marshall. But he wasn't pleased with the outcome, that was fairly obvious. He deflected from the topic, looking towards the woman, not aware that he might still need healing from diverting a lightning bolt through his body. "Do you want me to cook you something for breakfast? Eggs and salsa?"

[member="Avalore Eden"]​

 

[Avalore Eden]

Oh feth, it was far too early for this sort of conversation but she would try her damnedest. Brow tightly knitted together, the Healer pressed the heel of her hand into her bridge of her nose, eyes squeezed shut. As though the pressure might push the sleep from her eyes or the fatigue from her mind. It didn't, but it wouldn't stop her from trying.

"What?" as if this was all a bit hard to decipher and swallow, the Healer gave him an incredulous look of confused disbelief. Avalore shook her head.

"Gabe," a heavy sigh, she looked to the spot on the couch beside her, "come sit."

[member="The Revenant"]

 

[Gabriel Sionoma]

He exhaled from his nose, loudly. Grabbing the half filled drink, he acquiesced quickly to her request. Taking a seat on the couch, he waited for her to sit as well. Lazily, he rubbed his face, from his nose to his mouth to his beard. Blinking wide eyed, he set the drink down on the table next to the couch, cupping his other hand over his mouth.

"We went to Dromund Kaas for some reason or another. I was leading a battalion of men planet side. But as soon as I got into reach of it..." It being the view of the wasted metropolis. He pressed his hand against his chest. "I got that same feeling I had on Taloraan. I knew Kaine was there, I could feel it. And once I found the mountainside, I found him, a macabre scene of sacrifice within the belly of the mountain scape." He blinked again, shaking his head. "There was this tomb and upon offering, a boy. Men over him, a ritual of blood." It was as if he was there, not phased then but now moved nearly overwhelmingly. "The men sacrificed themselves, spilling their blood on the child, as Kaine spoke words of Sith Alchemy. The transformation turned human to monster, the sort bent to the will of its master. And I put it down without any thought towards saving him."

He remembered it as clear as if it was occurring before him, recollection replayed for the curse of eidetic memory. His hands between the beasts jaws, ripping it apart to the throat, without a second thought. He winced as he picked the whiskey up, scratching his head as he thought to reason out the action as justified. "Kaine and I fought on the mountain, I killed him. And for all my acts, the Alliance offers reward." He didn't know if being punished was the right thing for such heroism, such reckless abandon of life, but he didn't feel the reward was appropriate. And for some reason, he didn't feel right telling that to anyone but Ava. Or maybe she was just the ear he needed, the silent expressions that would tell him what he did was wrong. But was he wrong? No, Vornskr was a monster. And as he looked towards the hilt, he felt that this wasn't the end of their fight.

Turning his left hand over, the flesh contained unusual branching scars, indicative of the current of the lightning bolt passing through his body, he looked back towards Ava. He just needed someone to talk to, whether they were awake enough for it or not.

[member="Avalore Eden"]​

 

[Avalore Eden]

Already seated, Avalore found herself slowly sinking further into the cushions as he began to speak. A heavy silence became the Healer while word after word slowly filtered from the man's lips. Avalore wasn't aware of his eidetic memory nor was she really familiar with his inability to touch the Darkside. What she did know is that Gabriel was a severely confused man when it came to wrong and right.

He didn't lack empathy nor did he lack morals, but she supposed both these things were still rather new to him. It wasn't something she liked doing: making assumptions, for she knew even less of his ordeal and his origins where the Wrath was concerned. Rumors... that is what she knew. Avalore hadn't pried, hadn't asked. She above all people knew what it was to hold secrets, to keep things to herself until she felt safe enough to divulge.

Hal had been her confidant once. She'd told him everything and for that she felt selfish. As if she'd used a man who was about as emotionally adept as the box of steel-cut oats he partook in every morning. But Hal had been safe. Hal had been reliable and trustworthy. Hal never asked questions without feeling they were necessary. Hal never pried, he just simply was.

Stali was slowly filling the void of that particular role now. Avalore had been careful not to say too much, cautious of the same pain of losing yet another person after growing so close to them, but they were getting there. Stali knew about Adra, so he'd known from the start how very important the twins were to her. Ava believed it was why he tried so hard with them.

Brown eyes traveled to the weathered and scarred hand, a tight knitting of her brow resulting at the sight. "Gabe..." she reached forward with her own two hands, both covered in the scars that had resulted in the transferrence of corruption from the Mark of Darkness on Hal's back, and took his own with a firm but gentle grasp. She knew the telltale signs of Force Lightning damage well and could not help the frown forming on her face.

"...what you did for the boy was probably for the best. There's no cure...for that."

Yet, but [member="Rave Merrill"]'s studies had yet to reach the Healer's knowledge. Even then, those results were still inconclusive.

She took a breath, attempting to say something on the murder of the Sith Lord, but Avalore Eden had no words for it. Her beliefs on the subject were too tangled with emotion, too confusing. Instead she focused on his hand, offering an iota of relief to what discomfort might be there through minor application of the Force. She'd have to see to him in the Medical bay to know better the true extent of injuries, but he'd walked himself home and he was in one piece - no need to hurry him off.

"What rewards?"

[member="The Revenant"]

 

[Gabriel Sionoma]

"A promotion..." He stated plainly, eyes drifting down to her hands in his. The soothing expression of her force presence, he recalled it from the medical bay after Taloraan. He hated this feeling, the idea that he might be weak, just like Reverance had always believed. A life spent encased, whispers and taunts once marked as false, now coming to fruition. Every time he was around Ava, he was healing from wounds and depending on her care. "To Jedi Marshall..." He wasn't even a Jedi, the gesture seemed superfluous, giving him rank unneeded for the tasks he had already completed.

He paused, thinking about his task once more, as he recalled the fight. "I didn't realize it rained on Dromund Kaas but as we got to this..." He searched for the words. "This sacrificial mountain top, carved from the face of stone, the storm was down pouring. Fitting, for the way we fought, reckless disregard." He shook his head. "I knocked the man down from a pillar and in his anger, he threatened to crucify my loved ones. After removing my tongue." He blinked, knowing that such threat was given without any thought towards realization. "I repeated the names of those I cared about in my head...and I don't know if it's because of the fight I had with Chev, beneath the house, but in my mind, I didn't see her upon cross."

He took a sip from the glass and pursed out his lips. "I pictured you and Destin and Armaud. Me screaming in silence for not being able to stop it." Had he envisioned others? He had, but now as he thought about it, they were simply shades and placeholders, bodies crucified for the reminder that he did indeed have friends. "So in my resolve, I ended him. Knowing full well that such threat likely rung hollow. It wasn't a risk I was willing to take, for the sake of letting that man live and stand trial."

He turned his head, wondering why he couldn't be more mature around her. He was full of sage advice for everyone else but for her, he opened up in ways that made him seem childish and naive. He knew where his place was in the world but in her presence, the toil of thoughts took on a form of their own. Words uncontrolled for the opportunity to have someone to talk with, to discuss the pain of a purpose that put him through such physical and mental anguish. Never ending pursuit to prove that he wasn't his brothers specter.

[member="Avalore Eden"]​

 

[Avalore Eden]

Smaller hands dissipating the pain of his own curled tightly around his palm and wrist, a weakness there in her grasp that had never fully healed since the incident with Hal. She wasn't looking him in the eye, her own gaze was somewhere closer to staring at his knee, though looking through it as much as at it. The knit brow and frown had not leavened and she felt for a moment lost in her own thoughts. Gabe's recollection of his vision of her upon the cross, and the twins.

Loved ones...

Her mind briefly flashed the image of Hal standing before that infuriating Archival hub, face red with bottled emotion as he blurted out for the first and only time his admittance of love for her. How her heart shriveled at the response she remembered giving. Turning her back to him, walking away.

A sniff, Avalore gently cleared her throat and blinked away the strain of her heart, "You're a good man Gabriel," she said quietly, grip loosening on his hand again until she abandoned it altogether to draw inwards again, back to her comfort zone, "but you're not a Jedi." The Healer looked him in the eye now, no hint of question there. Gabe was a good man and he also was not a Jedi. A Jedi would not have killed Kaine - it was not their place to kill.

"And what do you mean fight with Chevu?" concern now, Ava wiped a hand over her own face, pushing tangled brown hair back, attempting to wake up further. Whatever sleep might've still been wanting was no longer to be had. Not now. "She was just here last week to see the twins...when did that happen?"

[member="The Revenant"]

 

[Gabriel Sionoma]

"You are right..." He acknowledged, quietly. "I am no Jedi, merely a man tied to the lightside. As Reverance is tied to the darkside, I hold no choice but instead simply bend to obligation." Would he use the darkside if he could? No, but that didn't stop him from speaking words to humble the notions of good or bad. He wasn't a Jedi and he never would be, a ship long sailed as his Jedi mother cast off into the space above Arkania, to leave him with his demented father. The one that Reverance had grown to love, the brother he wished he never had.

"Chevu came back, to see Armaud and Destin." He exhaled. "But before I left Sullust, she had failed to tell me that she was in a relationship with Coren. The very same who condemned her for the pregnancy and insisted on her stripping of title. The very same who attempted to kill me, who would likely kill me again, all for the resemblance I have towards my brother, the Wrath. The very same who has now parted ways from the Alliance because of my promotion." He exhaled, not realizing that he had never spoken to her about this topic. He continued on, as if this was merely old news. "But I had to learn of such relationship from Spark Finn, who was formerly in a relationship with Coren." He flung his hand up. "The whole thing is a mess but that's simply the icing."

He exhaled. "After sensing in her the betrayal and the continued notion that I had not earned the truth, I retreated below the kitchen, to the alcoves and armory. I had built a lightsaber for her and wished for her to have it. But in those moments, I felt the taint of the darkside in her and coaxed it from her with truth. Albeit, harsh truth, the sort that I had concealed for some time." He rolled his jaw. "I forced her into a fight, to draw it out and for my own small gains, and she responded with a force wave, inherently powered by her anger and an unleashing of the darkside." He shook his head, taking another sip. "It was stupid of me and reckless. But I needed to know. And until she comes to terms with the dangers of it, she's no longer welcome around the homestead. Around the children." He said the last bit with another sigh, leaning against the couch and looking towards the ceiling. He suddenly missed Ava's hand in his, the way children might hold hands to remind each other that they were still there. Even in the silence.

"I think Coren is a reckless master. In all but passing, I've never sensed stability in him. And their relationship, I don't think it will be a boon to Chev...but my words no longer stir change. Only empty apologies." The fact that the man still perceived Gabriel as a threat, it was a badge he wore in the open. It was simply an accusation, one he would bare until departing this life.

[member="Avalore Eden"]​

 

[Avalore Eden]

Avalore would readily admit to herself that even she had been confused about the status of things between Gabriel and Chevu. In their instances together that she had witnessed the pair seemed close, intimately so, though in a arm's length sort of way. She recalled that those instances had been in public places and even Ava was careful not to make a show of PDA with Stali when everyone was looking. It wasn't professional.

So to hear that the pair had been having some troubles was as much a surprise to her as Chevu's apparent non-affair with Coren. Gabe's tone implied the scorn of treachery, but had they been together? They'd been apart so much it was hard to tell.

"Thought you two were a bit like Stali and I..." she said quietly while looking down to her hands in her lap, "you know...together but pulled apart by duty. I guess-" her brow knit in thought and she cast a glance around back towards the part of the homstead where Gabe's private chambers were, "I never realized that she never stayed the night. Didn't want to pry and ask about it..."

A shallow, terse sigh escaped her, the weight of the troubles of the heart settling into her expression. Scarred hand lifting to her scalp where she kneaded her fingers through her hair and pressed it out of her face with a lazy movement, "I don't know that coercing her was the right thing to do and I don't know what you thought would happen. Aggression doesn't fix aggression, Gabe, especially when it stems from fear. It only makes it worse. Even if Coren proves to be unstable, how can Chevu think to come to you for stability when she's not welcome?"

There was a part of Avalore that was unhappy with his actions and decisions. A part of her that wanted to remind Gabe that he was no longer the legal father of the twins. It wasn't his right to say who could or could not see them - but it was his right to make those decisions of his home. Katarn Homestead was his home by right and Avalore could not, would not take that from him. Could not override that decision of his.

She reached for his hand again, bringing it up to join her other that held her head up and kept it there against her cheek. Avalore looked up at the man tired and concerned, "Gabe...are you ok?"

[member="The Revenant"]

 

[Gabriel Sionoma]

"Since being in this body, we have never been together...despite words of love and mutual feelings." He spoke the sentence with what felt like anger, though it came from a recognition of truth. He held on to something that had never truly existed. "Maybe she shouldn't come to me for stability at all..." Words arrived without thought, and perhaps that was the importance of the statement. Maybe he wasn't the right person for her, maybe she was right in not coming with him when he first left Sullust. Maybe she was right to choose Coren, maybe they belonged together. Maybe her fate wasn't a concern of his, beyond the fate of comrades on the same side of the field. He exhaled, her hold of his hand against her cheek was soothing, as he took a sip from the drink.

He was angry, no matter how much he tried to discern this emotion as anything else. Moving on was hard, the taste was bitter for the hopes he once fostered. It wasn't that he had lost anything truly real, simply the idea of laying a hope to rest, he mourned for a life that he had once set his sights on. "You are right. My entrapment was unfair. It brought gainful results, but that doesn't make it right. I'm glad to know of her struggles, so that she doesn't have to struggle alone. As I would feel for any friend in such a plight." He set his drink down and pulled her hands from her cheek. Slouching down, he tilted his head and rested his temple against her shoulder.

"Chev asked me the same thing..." He closed his eyes and wondered where he'd be now, if not for the turmoil of love. He didn't regret the feeling, having never known it in the former life, it was one of the few aches that he cherished. Because it gave life to the children, the ones that had given purpose to Ava. Even if they had never spoken about it, he could imagine the difference. Between her expression on Sullust, crammed into that small apartment, and living here on the farm. With two young boys who depended on her, who called her mother, and who loved her more than any thing ever could. "No, I'm not okay. But I will be."

He was suddenly very tired, rest and recuperation much needed.

[member="Avalore Eden"]​

 

[Avalore Eden]

It was more than just the weight of the man that settled on her shoulder, but the burden of lives torn apart - a weight that already shadowed her every waking moment. Avalore frowned but thought nothing of shaking it, only everything of bearing it. Heartbreak was a wound she had no capability to heal, especially not that of another when she could hardly manage to heal her own. But the warmth of a good friend did wonders, and if Gabe could not create a sense of stability here then it would be on her to do it.

They were all depending on her.

With a deep, slow breath Ava leaned her head against his and reached a hand up to embrace the weary man.

"That's right," she said, turning to kiss the top of his head, "we're all going to be okay."

Even if she couldn't fully subscribe to her own words, Ava couldn't dwell on those things and hope to move forward at the same time. The Healer held him for several moments while her own thoughts turned through her head, breathing in the scent of his hair and realizing suddenly how much she missed Stali. Nearly two weeks had passed since she last held him and she worried for the pit forming in her stomach just thinking about it. The length of time had never been so difficult to stand before all this. Before the Alliance. But these new demons weren't something she was quite so familiar with and she couldn't help but doubt herself.

"Gabe," Avalore spoke into his hair, smoothing that same hand over his head with a sigh and a growing smirk, a murmured chuckle, "you stink. Go wash up, get some sleep, I'll make some lunch," she scooped the man's head up in both hands and pressed him gently to sit up, holding him there with a scrutinizing look at what visible scrapes and bruises he had, "I want to take a look at your spine and shoulder later to make sure they're holding up. Any new injuries I should be aware of?"

[member="The Revenant"]

 

[Gabriel Sionoma]

He sighed, smiling. He hadn't realized that he hadn't taken much time for bathing, since Dromund Kaas. Time seemed to get all mixed together, minutes into days and the like. Entirely spent on introspective thought, it was nice to have someone around to remind him of such things. The stress was getting to him and he couldn't help but feel a sense of stability slipping from his grasp. He wondered if it might have something to do with the cloned body, potential risks inherent in the construction of a clone from the very beginning. He held no love for the Dr. Neist, but he had never felt any need to doubt the mans ingenuity. If anyone were capable of creating flawless clones, it was that man. But even so, he couldn't help but consider it.

"Chev dislocated my shoulder down in the basement but I put it back in without too much problem..." He recalled the pain at the moment but it felt better as the night went on. "I've taken to using the Vanguard armor of the Hounds, it helped mitigate some damage and in the end, probably saved my life." He raised an eyebrow. "Not that I don't enjoy our time together, you trying to figure out how to put me back together." He opened his palm, the scaring from the transfer of power apparent. "I pulled a lightning bolt through me and weaponized it against Kaine. I've had a bit of chest pain since then, might need some checking in that regard. But besides that..." He thought for a moment, shaking his head. "Nothing I can think of."

Eyes drifting down, he took one of her hands in his. Thumb feeling over the scarring, as if he had forgotten about it. Not that he had, but so many things seemed to take priority over the pain and grievances of the past. He narrowed his eyes, looking them over, before looking back up to the Healer. "Thank you for being here for the kids, for me." He squeezed her hand, reassuring that they would in fact move past this, before standing up and stretching. Placing the drink down on the table, he nodded in agreement. "A shower and rest sounds good. I'll be back down in a bit."

With that, he disappeared slowly as he headed upstairs.

[member="Avalore Eden"]​