Private Slugs, Frogs, Some Hutt And Slumdogs, What?

[Perla the Hutt]

Spoiler: Music IC

Somewhere in the Outer Rim there was a big ship that could go anywhere, a casino ship, only at the moment a certain system malfunctioned so the image of this ship couldn’t be generated. There was music in it that played in the throne room which seated its owner too, fat and loose, as fat and proud as a monkey-lizard dancing around town.

Perla the Hutt owned this ship so they dubbed her Mistress of Credits as much as Golden Queen. The name of her ship? The Sable Chariot. Oh. Also. She had slaves in it. That earned her the moniker Binder of Chains. Another nickname? Princess That Was Promised based on a prophecy that emphasized her big butt taking over this dandy galaxy. Someday. Maybe. Really? Probably not but anyway……..

“OYE BELTALOWDA!”

Perla the Hutt bellowed from her golden silver pearly chair in Her Majesty’s chamber. It was a throne room because what was a Hutt with a starship but without a throne room especially if said ship was a casino barge?

“Excuse me, Your Majesty?” Asked her navigation officer. She forgot what the druk he was doing here instead of in the bridge but whatever. Had she summoned his presence? “Do you mean belter loaders?”

That earned him this particular expression.

“Maybe. Might be I just mean Belters, YA KRIFFIN’ JERK.” She slapped her armchair, finger hovering over a button, but she shifted it and pressed a different one.

This offered an image on the giant viewscreen behind her of a particular person and a Mandalorian. Definitely wasn't connected with history or anything. There were plenty of Mandalorians in the galaxy anyway and dudes with fast food fantasy capes too.

“OYA MANDO’AD!”

Maybe some in her company (slaves, servants, servers, bodyguards, bounty hunters, you name it, all manner of scum, villainy and everyday idiocy) considered Perla the Wonder to have a mind made up of complete and utter madness and never mind Emperor Velran Kilran but whatever.

“I want you to find these two individuals and bring them to me AT ONCE or I’ll feed you to my pet PUG.”

"That's not a—"

"SHUT UP. Never correct a HUTT."

“I shall find them indeed, my queen, for you are Perla the Magnificent, Perla the Majestic, Perla the Enchantress, Perla the Luminous, Perla the—”

“SHUT IT” Her navigator was silenced by a wet fish chucked in his general direction. “I must go to my casino floor. For I am meeting with a VIP. First I require my litter, a Saki-Star, fresh fish, someone to butter mah bunions, a Shistavanen who I might just kiss, kyeehee, and the replacement to yesterday’s escort since I think he fell out the airlock or sommat I dunno can’t remember kyeheheheh—”

"My M-M-M-Majesty," said some other dumb mumbling escort. “Y-Y-You ordered me to push him out the airlock….My Most Divine Grandest Majestic—!”

-BLAM!-

“Make that two escorts for interruptin’ Mama Perla, KYEH. Let’s start with the first. What’s her name? The one with the ghost face? Bloodpainter bounty hunter somethin’ or other?” Perla looked around for her newest hire, excited to finally meet her, but maybe she hadn't arrived yet so she waited patiently, drumming her fingers on her flabby chin, suddenly hungry for a digestive biscuit AKA cookie.

Sha'ri Sorkh

 

[Sha'ri Sorkh]

Now Playing - Knock-Knock

---

Sha'ri arrived at the extraction port of the large casino ship, being dropped off neglectfully by her "Handler" and a dozen suited foot soldiers. Her dark colors and cold demeanor clashed violently with the golden highlights of the ship's interior, the loud humming of gambling machines and the people sauntering around with liquor in their bellies.

Despite Sha'ri's menacing appearance, she managed to seamlessly blend into the milling groups of people on the casino floor. Her lithe figure snaked through the crowd, only to appear beside Perla the Hutt, like she had been there the entire time.

Her hands folded behind her back and her posture tightened. She stood at attention, yet she remained silent for a moment.

Before anybody could get a word in, Sha'ri humbly bowed towards Perla with her knees completely straight - her upper body folding down to the point she had her head between her legs without a hint of discomfort.

The Chakram blades that hung off her arms clamored against each other with every little movement, the clinking of blades sounding familiar to a battlefield of knights trading sword swings.

"At... Your service."

​

 

[Perla the Hutt]

Spoiler: Music IC

There she was. Here she comes. As bidden. And commanded, in a sense, given once someone entered Perla the Hutt’s service they were hers, whether they knew it or not. Surely this was shown by the way Sha’ri bowed with her knees to the point that her head was between her legs. That was…something…to say the least. Kyeeheehee.

Those blades were another story entirely. The Chakram silver gleamed and clinged like that of beskar, and that was a song that the Hutt had heard over and over again amid Mandalorians who had also entered her employment, for better or worse. This one? The blades dangled like bangles. Kyohoho.

“At my service, is it?” Perla reflected, rubbing her chinny-chin-chin. It was as fat as there was wisdom woven within the flabs. “Good goooooooood.” She bobbed her head, clicked her fingers, erupted into a bit of a jig.

“My service is gracious. My reward for success is great. My reward for failure is great. Serve me faithfully and yours will be the payment of credits and, if you wish it, you will get to dance with me to music that will make you bend your knees without bowing them, kyeehee.”

Whatever that means.

“Let’s do this.” She clicked toward the Carriers of the Litter. Palanquin presented, her servants lifted her. “FORTH TO THE CASINO FLOOR! Somebody gimme mah Saki-Star before I carve out your kriffing innards and feed ‘em to mah fish…” Perla grinned and got on with it.

She was flanked on one side by a Non-Important Person Creature (NPC) escort and on the other side by a Mirialan something or other whatever she had already forgotten. However, she never forgot a mask, never mind a face, and those Chakram blades? Obaby.

“Do you play games?” Perla asked Sha’ri once they arrived in the main casino floor with lots of games being played by anybody and everybody. “Cards? Dice? Racing?” She shifted side to side, trying to emulate a porg-horse, whatever that was, but ended up smacking one of her slaves in the face. He didn’t get back up.

“We’re waiting for my guest to arrive. I don’t think she’s here yet. She’s a VIP ‘queen’ wanting to do business with yours truly.” Perla sipped her fruity drink. “Play a game with me, Sha’ri?” Her tone was that of asking but really she was demanding. “How about dominoes? Kyohoho I love those!”

So much so that Perla spread her arms really quickly and slapped two slaves on either side. That almost made them drop her litter but they knew better so simply squeaked instead of dropping her.

Sha'ri Sorkh

 

[Sha'ri Sorkh]

Sha'ri remained stone-faced in the aim of Perla's vaguely threatening statements. She knew she wouldn't see a sliver of those credits, and any punishment she would garner from failure here would only multiply the pain she would receive from her "handler" later on.

She'd simply nod in response to Perla's orders, performing a quick curtsy before slowly turning to walk with the group. She watched as the carriers lifted Perla the Hutt's... "Voluptuous" figure a few feet off the air, watching them quiver under the weight. Their knees were fracturing, the skin of their palms was indented from years of constant pressure. Sha'ri felt an inkling of sympathy, before reinforcing her apathy by turning her face away from the slaves in apparent disgust.

As she arrived with Perla onto the casino floor, she shifted her gaze to Perla's attention slowly - her thoughts split in a moment of recollection.
"I ha-aave a game we could play... That you m-iight not know..."
"It's a card game I used to pla-aay... If you would like... I can tell you the rules."

She spoke in a strange soft-spoken rhythm. She whispered her sentences and quietly accentuated her vowels in one long breath. She spoke as if her words were caught by the wind and carried away.

A hand extended towards a folded deck of cards.

She withdrew four 2 of spades cards, four 2 of hearts cards, an ace of spades card and a queen of hearts card.
She set the four spade cards with the ace on one side of the table and put the remainder on the other half. She sat herself down with the deck of spades and gestured for Perla to join across from her.

 

[Perla the Hutt]

At first, Perla just blinked at her Guardian of the Hutt, dubbed thus upon Sha’ri Sorkh, or whoever and whatever she was with that odd tongue of hers. Perla the Hutt had waited for an answer and what she got was a response that sounded like her escort was a drunken bantha pug. Whatever the kark that was.

“Goooooooooood I caaaaaaan plaaaaaaaay oh say it with some vigor, sister!” Perla sipped her Saki-Star, pulled the straw from her lips, promptly threw the packet at some slave’s face. “This is lime Saki-Star and I’m pretty sure I ASKED FOR LEMON SAKI-STAR YA KARKIN’ POOPOO POODOO okay anyway take me to this game.”

Perla snapped her fingers, at first to the rhythm of the music and never mind the rhythm of her escort’s manner of speaking, then to direct her litter toward a table. There was a dealer at it with three other people.

“Hello. This table taken?” Perla tilted her fat head.

“N-Not anymore, M-Mistress of Credits!” The dealer said.

“Good. THEN GET THE KRIFF UP AND GO BUG SOMEONE”

They all left which meant this table was now taken by just Perla and Sha’ri as they sat in front of one another. Playing a few rounds of whatever this karkin’ game was sounded fun enough as the Hutt waited for her business other to come.

Cards. Goooooood. Mama Perla LOVES cards. KYAHAHAHAHAA—

“—AHAHAHAHA— Sorry.” She flexed her fingers, cracked her knuckles, not that she had any but whatever.

Perla withdrew her own cards if she was supposed to and if she wasn’t well it was up to her teacher to correct her if she dared and walk her through this game they played.

What the kark were Perla’s cards anyway?

“Teach me, sensei.” The Hutt snapped her fingers and in the next instant her grip was filled with a lemon Saki-Star that she sipped.

Sha'ri Sorkh

 

[Sha'ri Sorkh]

"My... "Family", created this g-aaa-me... My... Partner, stole a pack of playing cards for our... Prison cell... We learned... Our own game."
Sha'ri remained apathetic to Perla's taunting... Or was it simply ignorance? Regardless, her fingers folded onto the table, and she began priming her failing voice by reciting a sequence of numbers under her breath.

"Huff... There a-aaa-re... Three rounds. Each round, we will both put forward a card and determine the round's winner based on the m-aa-tch-up... We each have four peasant cards, and one "prime" card. You will hold the Queen, and I will hold... the Slave."

"You hold the Queen, and every time you play the queen, you instantly win over any peasant card I withdraw... In which the losing card will be discarded. If we both draw peasants, it's a tie, and we can collect the card back into our decks."

"You can play the Queen as many times as you want, or a peasant, as long as they live within the three rounds. But be warned... My Slave card can kill your Queen if I draw it, and you draw the Queen. But if you draw the peasant card, it can kill my Slave... Once the Slave or the Queen is discarded, the game ends."

"You have the advantage holding the Queen card... But there will always be... A looming sense of dread, until the Slave is dead."

"We can bet s-ooo-mething... If you'd... Like..."

Sha'ri unceremoniously tossed a small cracked "tablet" onto the table. The screen glitched and stammered, but a line of numbers and key words occasionally flickered on the screen.

"The coordinates for a credit cache... On some planet nearby... It was my reward for a previous acquisition, but it can be yours... I understand you are wealthy and fulfilled, but... It never hurts to have more credits."
"This one's a-aaa-lso... Off the books... Only I know of this cache, and it's detailed on the screen. The Handler will not be contacted."
"Of course, if you wish to refuse the bet, the enchanting, g-ooo-rgeous... Perla... Can simply contact my Handler and earn a reward for flagging my... Misconduct."
"But I know... With your fair and immaculate character... You will honor the bet for this small, fun occasion..."

While Sha'ri never probed into the ethics of her employer, on this day, the inspiration to make a point dawned on her as soon as she watched Perla's slaves quiver under her chair. There would be no betrayal or foul play, but there would be... A warning to be made. A lesson. Whether Perla would digest the contents of this lesson or not, in the end...

It didn't matter.

 

[Perla the Hutt]

Spoiler: Music IC

“KYEEHEEHEE!” The Mighty Magnificent Magnetic Perla laughed with glee. Of COURSE I hold the Queen, BABY. It also made perfect sense that Sha’ri held the slave. So, the stars were aligned, the universe was right, the cards were of one mind. She liked this game already.

Then Speaks-Slowly-And-Has-A-Ghost-Face kept speaking, Perla kept listening, and just narrowed her gaze speechlessly. Slave card can kill queen card, is it? She didn’t like this. The Hutt did not appreciate thinly veiled threats from a slave, whether this one was in her temporary service or not. Insults were generally rewarded with crushed skulls.

Looming sense of dread, she says. Perla took a long leisurely sip of her fruity drink. OFF WITH HER HEAD. OFF WITH HER HEAD. OFF WITH HER HEAD. Fortunately the Golden Queen didn’t always listen to the voice in her head. If she did then she’d have no slaves to play with.

The conversation shifted again as this bounty hunter before Perla began to compliment her. Perla the Hutt was complimented every day by her slaves, servants and others. They called her big fancy fluffy pretty names like Binder of Chains. Told her she had a beautiful face and a wonderful butt. Said her eyes were like diamonds in the sky. Mentioned she was top of her line. Despite this, most of them ended up flying out of the airlock.

“KYAHAHAHA. My kind of scum.” Perla rubbed her chins in thought. “Credit cache for a planet nearby, is it? I can always use more credits.” She snapped her fingers. A Trandoshan arrived at her side.

“Yes, Mistress of Credits?”

“What the kriff? No, no, NOT THE TRANDOSHAN ASSASSIN YA KARKIN’ BANTHA CHIT."

-SLAP!-

"WAGH!"

"Try this again.”

-SNAP!-

“Yes, Binder of Chains?” It was a Weequay with a plate of butter cake.

“Much better.”

-SNAP!-

“Yes, my Golden Queen?” It was an Ugnaught with a box. Perla planted it on the tabletop.

“Inside this box is…” She smiled at Sha’ri, lips wide, narrowed eyes. “Your head, if I decide it. Otherwise you will find a clarinet. Not just any clarinet, mind you, oh no, but brilliant and gilded and worth many credits. KYOHOHO. Tis an instrument that was the prized possession of Lord Dautree Brendergard, head of a noble house, who took it from a musician, Cyar the Bard, upon the latter failing to play an appropriate song for the former.”

Perla licked her lips. Kymmmm. Buttercake. Delicious. “Lord Brendergard also took Cyar’s tongue so he could never quite play the clarinet again. It came into my possession after Dautree failed to bring me a suitable servant and, in such treachery, I took his head and there went his fancy family.”

Perla broke into another jig over the music that had since shifted.

Then she placed a Queen as the game got underway.

Sha'ri Sorkh