So I Took A Big Chance

[Matsu Xiangu]

Maena​

Old City​

Post-Obsidian​

Her abdomen felt like a dull but persistent ache, [member="Irajah Ven"]’s masterful medicine making her at least well enough to stand in front of [member="Jacob Crawford"] for the moment. Later she would need more extensive care, but it would wait. In some things she was an addict and in his mind she’d felt a fix - something new, something to explore.

The room in which they stood was deep in Maena’s most secure facility, a testing ground for biological warfare and augmented lifeforms that - in theory - should be able to withstand something like Jacob were he to display something like he had performed on the beach a mere hour before. That said she had still chosen a room as far from anything important as possible. The reinforced walls had not been tested against anything of quite his caliber and she was unwilling to risk anything important on chance.

Dark, lit only by small lights inlaid on the edges of the floor against the walls, the walls and floor were padded much like the implication they’d entered some asylum. The space was not meant for exercises in mentalism. Rather, it was a space for the more violent of her experiments with hallucinogens against her opposition. But it would fit the trick for this. The chances of going so deep in to their memories that their bodies were secondary were high, and beaten and bruised as they were it seemed prudent to protect the vessel left behind.

Standing there watching him, it was easier to recognize the obvious differences between his features and Jude’s. When she wasn’t thinking and looked at him quick she felt some sort of pang, a twist in her gut. But for the most part Jacob had proven too unique to confuse with the First Order man.

“You have my attention,” she said, referencing his explanation for coming to Maena on the beach. “Now why are we here?”

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob had been unabashedly awestruck as he followed [member="Matsu Xiangu"] towards whatever their intended destination was. As he was taking in the sights there was a conversation going on in his head.

This place seems like it has quite a history to it.

Well yeah, we freaking felt it earlier. Whatever went down was big and had a high death count.

Still, why is she taking Jacob here?

Oh I don’t know, maybe it’s because it's Old Maena, so I’d assume this is the old city. Ergo, where the more unsightly things are kept and done.

...This entire planet is unsightly.

Don’t let our dear host hear that, she might very well tear you straight out of the kid’s mind.

We both know that’s not-

Their conversation was disrupted as a sudden burst of uneasy washed of them.

Jacob quickly became cautious and fidgety when he realised he had followed Matsu into a facility.

Oh lovely, another one.

Calm yourself Jacob, this won't be as bad as Dxun.

True. It’s probably going to be a lot worse.

Ignoring them, Jacob’s previous awe was stifled as he just kept his eyes forward and followed, not saying a thing physically or mentally. When they finally arrived at the room, Jacob’s mood didn’t change.

Well this certainly looks homely.

He pushed the voices to the back of his mind and turned his full attention to Matsu as she spoke.
Jacob took a deep breath.

“I need your help.” It was a simple thing to ask, and yet a broad matter to address. He had help from Irajah and Connor, but even with them he had been evasive; given half truths or outright excluded certain aspects. But here and now, he knew he couldn’t do any of that. If he was going to heal, he had to be completely upfront about it all.

“You see, around six years ago I disappeared from the known galaxy. For five of those years I was stuck in the Netherworld, and whatever happened there...messed with my mind. I cannot clearly recall what went down during that time, but I do know that when I eventually reappeared, I had lost eighteen years worth of memories and I had a pair of voices stuck in my head.”

Jacob paused as he looked at Matsu, trying to judge her reaction. At the very least the odd look of confusion she had sometimes; whenever she looked at him before, was gone. For some reason he had a strange feeling he had been initially mistaken for someone else.

“Which is why I need your help, to piece my mind back together again.”

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

She had many reasons not to constantly dive in to the minds of everyone around her. It made everyone boring and predictable. It was loud. She had a sense of propriety. And of course her own history with mental break-in’s made her more respectful of the boundaries where it was due. Perhaps Jacob’s indiscretion on the planet she called home warranted Matsu be more invasive. But she didn’t have to be, and figuring out what was going on in his head was too interesting for unnecessary force.

Even without her mentalism so thought she could see in the small lines of his face that he was having a conversation with whoever it was she couldn’t see. He hid it well. If she hadn’t heard the voices she would never have known. But now that she’d caught a glimpse she understood a little more.

She nodded when he mentioned the Netherworld. Despite all she’d seen it was impossible to forget the days when it had torn open and ripped the living from the galaxy, thrown those left behind in to chaos while those who’d been taken struggled to escape. She had seen others changed by those events but never in the way Jacob had been.

Usually she was expressionless, and now that the pang of emotion that struck her due to his quick resemblance was gone she was as stone as ever. This was the point where another Sith Lord would ask what was in it for them. He had landed on her home, nearly killed her and several people important to her, and destroyed part of the beach. There were a dozen other Sith Lords that never even would have let him get this far but if Matsu had been blessed with anything besides the Dark it was the ability to ask questions first, kill second. And to realize that sometimes knowledge was trade enough.

She was quiet for a moment before her voice came again, soft in their silence.

“It will hurt.”

She moved to sit, curling her legs up underneath her. It must have looked odd in the way that seeing a predator deep in slumber did - a moment of unexpected peace. But what he was asking was difficult, and it would take time. She beckoned him to join her.

“I’ll see you inside. Don’t fight me,” she said, the words ‘even though you’ll want to’ hanging unsaid.

Closing her eyes, she reached for his mind, a spider’s legs ticking over grey matter until she found the door she wanted and snuck her way in. There was nothing but silence for a moment and then she felt a piercing pain as a mind taught to forget was forced to make a space in which they could both create. She followed him down, fists clenching though she wasn’t aware, to the place inside his mind he was willing to meet her.

[member="Jacob Crawford"]​

 

[Jacob Crawford]

[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OETpmKpG8s&feature=youtu.be[/media]​

“It will hurt.”

A dark look washed over Jacob’s face as he heard those words, and it seemed to linger there as he spoke.

“Oh, I’m quite familiar with that. I’ll be fine.” Then the look was gone.

The problem was, that was all physical pain. He had no idea; no clue what was in store for him.

He followed Matsu’s movements and mirrored her actions to sit. He took a deep breath and nodded to her.

He wasn’t going to fight it. And he knew he couldn’t, he was; for a lack of a better term, been intoxicated ever since she had first entered his mind on the beach.

As Matsu reached for his mind, Jacob flinched. He could feel it; like a spider crawling across his skin. Only it felt deeper; far beneath. Everywhere. Each time he could feel its legs, he felt that twitch, that instinct to lash out with his hand, to squish the bug he thought he could feel.

Jacob remained still; focused. He made an attempt to help Matsu, but nothing happened. Something dawned on him then, he had no control over his mind. Even as Matsu moved across the outer reaches of it; looking for a door. Nothing was there to stop her, no defences. At least none that were apparent.

For as she moved, something was ghosting behind her. Two somethings. Neither made a move to stop her, instead they seemed to hold the mind steady; stopping it from lashing out against the intruder. It wasn’t until she was able to slip through, that they disappeared.

The initial silence was broken by the sensation of falling, and that mental instinct hit Jacob like a rancor. He began flailing, desperate to grab ahold of something as he fell. He yelled, not out of panic but because of pain.

His mind felt like it was on fire. And no sound escaped his lips.

His vision grew hazy, then darkened until there was nothing but darkness.

There was silence. Then he opened his eyes.

​

-x-​

He was greeted to a purplish-pink sky before him; or was it above him? It held no clouds, no stars, nothing. It simply lingered and moved like mist. As Jacob shifted he felt water all around him. Startled, he shot to his feet and looked behind him. Before him was a sudden drop, the water just fell endlessly into the dark depths below. Somehow the water remained flowing, even though there was no source in sight. He noticed that the odd coloured sky blended into the darkness the further it went down, turning darker and darker until it matched the blackness of the abyss.

What the hell is this place?

He was oblivious to Matsu’s presence as he looked around, his head just wildly twisting and turning taking in everything. The landscape around them was endless and fragmented. Everywhere around there were floating peninsulas built of stone. They seemed to hover in the void, calmly bobbing up and down in no apparent pattern or sync. Some looked more broken, pieces and chunks floating a short distance away.

It dawned on Jacob as he kept looking, that they all had something atop them. Landscapes, buildings, cities. It became apparent, the further one looked, that it was a repeating pattern, the same order of locations copied one after another.

Jacob’s entire complexion paled as it sank in. Field of Blades, City of Hr’Tal, Valley of Lies. They’re all here.

The Netherworld. It was as if someone had cut chunks out of the various parts of it and formed them into the floating peninsulas around them.

Then he realised where he was standing. It was Maena. Specifically the beach where this had all become possible. It, like the set pieces of the Netherworld, looked as though it had been cut out and plopped down. The seemingly random water now made a bit more sense.

Jacob groaned as he felt a wave of nausea wash over him. His mind suddenly cleared and he immediately turned to where Matsu was, as if finally realising she was there. Then it became all too obvious where he was.

“This is my mind.”

Silence fell between them as he just looked at Matsu, almost as if he was silently asking for confirmation.

“You are correct.” It was the woman’s voice, the one that masqueraded itself as his mother. The same one that had always been distance voice in his head this past year. But now it sounded clear as day, coming from every direction.

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

She felt something - some things - following her. Chasing seemed too strong a word even though she was certain she couldn’t have outrun them. They skirted just outside of her vision, ghosting along the periphery, never close enough for her to realize their form or shape. It made her skin crawl.

But just as soon as they’d made themselves known they were gone, replaced by the vastness of the place they’d found themselves in.

The vista spread out before them, islands connected by some thin strand that seemed uncrossable though the entire scene beckoned them forward as if there were some puzzle to solve. She had been many places constructed by some Sith deeply entrenched in the sorcery of the mind, worlds left in holocrons for those brave enough to try to see if they could escape the test. She’d constructed landscapes that were not real. But this... this was new. And to be fragmented this way - what would have to happen to a person? It would require enormous energy, something hideous and horrible to rip a consciousness in to so many highly detailed pieces. From here she could see the city on a seperate island floating in pink-purple nothingness.

She felt her stomach drop low in her abdomen at the sheer emptiness of the skyline past the edge of Maena’s fake horizon.

Finally, her gaze dragged back to Jacob. Suddenly she was sure she should push him over the edge of their current vista, send him in to some endless purgatory where he was falling forever. He had been sent to torture her, remind her of things she’d rather not think about, show her things that pushed her to greater heights of seeking. Who are you? But somehow she refrained, taking a breath before nodding at his assertion this was his mind. She was about to speak when the voice cascaded from everywhere and nowhere.

Things were getting stranger by the moment.

Instead of responding, she moved forward over the sand. It felt just as real as if they were standing back on the actual beach. She trudged until she reached the edge where a thin, nearly translucent gossamer strand extended away from the island towards the one nearest it. Kneeling down, she slowly reached out and then took the plunge and touched her metal fingers to the strand. It quivered. She held it breath. Nothing happened. Standing up straight, she looked to Jacob.

“That we are on the beach suggests that wherever we are going, we are doing it backwards. And I cannot move us forward. It has to be you. I can give you power, but I believe you are the one that will make this pathway real.”

She paused, contemplating the anatomy of the layout.

"I think, somehow, we are standing in a representation of the neural pathways that connect memories, thoughts, and knowledge in an unbroken mind. Yours exist but something has stopped them from sending their message. We must wake them up. One by one."

[member="Jacob Crawford"]​

 

[Jacob Crawford]

As Matsu had begun her investigations, Jacob had started his. Though they were less useful to their current situation. He was crouched down in the sand, raking his fingers through it; marvelling at how real it felt in comparison to actual Maena. His mind a whirl of thoughts, wondering if it was truly real or was this just his memory of how it had felt.

Stop it Jacob. Focus. You can't let your mind wander, you can't get lost.

Lost.

It was something that had been ever present since his escape from Dxun. It had even been there after he had left [member="Irajah Ven"]'s care. The search for his old ship had meant to be a distraction; which it had been, despite how disappointing it had been in the end. And yet here he was, in his own mind and he still felt lost. As he looked up and out to the endless void around them, it certainly didn't ease the sinking feeling in his stomach.

I feel lost in my own karking mind. There's a certain irony to that.

A thought struck him, and he tried to stretch out his senses. One of the voices had spoken, yet he couldn't feel their presences like he could before. Surely now that he was in his mind, it would be easier, right?

But as he tried to focus, there was nothing; no response. His actions were having no effect. Jacob felt his entire being go cold. He had no control of his mind. He had no control.

Matsu's words snapped him out of his thoughts, but it was clear a sudden wave of doubt had struck him. He had come to Matsu, stood before her with a sense of certainty. But now that he was actually in his mind...

No. Focus. I must persevere.

Jacob clenched his hands, took a deep breath to calm himself before walking over to Matsu.

"It makes sense I suppose. What better place to start then here."

Once he was at Matsu's side, his eyes were immediately drawn to the translucent strand. It looked foreign and yet as he had gotten near he felt something familiar; a twitch in the back of his mind. But as he knelt down and reached towards it, nothing happened. It didn't respond to his touch. Something was clearly wrong that Jacob could not interact with his own mind.

Jacob let out a frustrated sigh, then looked up at Matsu and nodded.

"I accept whatever power it is you can give me to do this. I'll take it."

There was a measure of desperation in his tone, there was no hiding that.

He waited until Matsu had finished, then turned his attention back to the strand. Jacob reached down and grasped it fully. The moment he did he felt an inferno suddenly ignite in his skull, he hissed in pain; biting back the desire to be any louder. The single translucent strand suddenly multiplied, spinning and crossing itself as it stretched off towards the next island. Once it had reached its destination it doubled back on itself, forming a pattern amongst what already existed until it fully formed into a stable pathway.

Jacob, now standing up fully, had a brief look of awe on his face before glancing at Matsu.

"I suppose I should take the lead."

With that, he began walking forwards. A first cautious step on the pathway, as if testing its safety before settling his other foot on it. Once he was comfortable he began walking, he looked behind to Matsu following. But as he did a blinding light suddenly wrapped around their vision. Jacob let out a scream of pain as he felt like someone was slamming a hot poker into his brain.

When their vision returned, neither Jacob or Matsu were surrounded by void.

Instead they were inside a building, standing on a catwalk; one of several that criss crossed above a large open room below.

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

The mind could be a lonely place - even lonelier when one either decided to guard it or simply found themselves up against a wall. She could not imagine being unable to access her own memories, but perhaps such importance had been her reason for following the thread in the first place. For so many, it was the last and only refuge, to retreat behind metaphorical walls where no one could follow.

But then - it wasn’t quite so lonely in Jacob’s head, now was it?

Since for the female voice that had spoken from nowhere she couldn’t recall picking up another disembodied presence and somehow she felt jilted. She’d quite been looking forward to meeting them and now they were hiding somewhere out of her reach. Cowards.

But Jacob asked for power and her musing was over when he reached down to touch the threads that would connect them to the next island - ostensibly. She was not in the habit of sharing. A heartbeat passed, the other man’s pain washing over but slightly removed as if through a wall. If she reached out, somehow she knew she would feel it too. Another heartbeat.

Curiosity won out.

Agony nearly overwhelmed her, white-hot burning tearing down nerve endings both real and artificial. Her teeth ground together, the squeak of enamel creaking in her ears to the point she was sure she’d go insane if Jacob didn’t let go.

Here first breath was like life itself, cool in her lungs despite tasting like metal and rust. She must have bitten the side of her tongue. Blood was welling underneath it. She ran it over her teeth and swallowed, otherwise focusing on the room below. Her step was metallic though hushed as she tried to get a different vantage point. Dozens of men and women milled about below, their voices a low hum enough that they did not seem to notice the Sith Lord moving above.

And then she felt him coming.
But he was standing right next to her.

He burst in to the room, and all hell broke loose. At first Matsu watched expressionless as if nothing was happening at all. But as the terror played out below them her expression became more and more twisted, a smile tugging at either corner of her scarred mouth. Her head turned slowly on her long, slender neck as she tore her gaze away from the massacre below to look at the man next to her.

“You didn’t mention that you’re a murderer,” she said, callous and testing.

[member="Jacob Crawford"]​

 

[Jacob Crawford]

It was strange, so very strange to be watching this all play out from a different angle, both literally and figuratively. For one thing, he was seeing it from an entirely different viewpoint. One which truly demonstrated just how far his carnage had gone. Men and women were being thrown around with the Force, many crossing the full length of the room. And yet, Jacob couldn’t help but feel a disconnect with what he was seeing. He couldn’t feel the emotions he knew were swirling like a storm within the version of him below.

He did remember them though, the anger and fury he felt when he had burst into the room. It had been building and building, coalescing into one ugly mess, only to be unleashed the moment he laid eyes on the scientists; his tormentors. There was also something that had been lingering there; hidden beneath the anger, slithering like a snake and coiling around Jacob in an invisible embrace.

It had felt good. As he sent the scientists crashing into walls and tables. Bones breaking either by his blows, or from the impacts when their bodies landed.

Jacob; the actual one standing by Matsu, let out a small groan as it all seemed to rush to him, Whether he was aware of it or not, the Dark Side was swirling around him. Tendrils shifted around his body, moving like wisps that occasional brushed against him; licking at a wound. But moments later something unseen grasp the tendrils, and they hissed at its touch. They were pried away, but they did not go away easily.

It was then that Jacob’s eyes slowly opened, gazing down at the carnage below, then directly at Matsu.

“They deserved it, all of them. I was locked up; like any other beast in that facility. Nothing more than a test subject.” He didn’t answer her verbally, there was no attempt to deny or refuse what she had said. What there was, was a certain look in eyes. Acceptance.

“Let me show you…” The words came out more as whisper than anything, but were heard nonetheless. Jacob grabbed the railing with both hands, his grip tightening on them as he focused. Pain tore through his body again, he could feel it shaking in reality; a trickle of blood from his nose. But he didn’t let it stop him, he just kept pushing. His mind began to bend and twist to him, his sudden ability to squash the metal in his hands was an obvious indicator. Then within seconds the blinding light surrounded them again.

Time seemed to move quicker. Jacob saw glimpses of the void again, as he and Matsu reached the next island, then proceeded along a new bridge to the next. The light encompassed them again, before dissipating and leaving them to a new scene.

Much like before, they were stood high above only this time rather than a catwalk they were seemingly standing on thin air, or a glass ceiling. Either way their presence wasn’t going to catch anyone’s attention within the memory.

The room below was much the same as the last one, though the stark difference was there were a lot less people occupying it. At one side; laying on the floor curled up was Jacob. On the other was a Maalraas. And up on one side of the walls was a long transparisteel window, that showed a group of scientists standing in an observation room. There seemed to be a brief discussion between them before one walked up to the room’s comms.

“Inject the stimulants.” The voice echoed out, and a few seconds later the Jacob on the floor let out a sudden gasp as the drugs rushed through his body.

“This was what my year on Dxun consisted of. Day in, day out I was forced to fight their beasts for all manner of tests. They’d inject me with sedatives to keep me asleep, then introduce the stims to wake me up. Outside of this, the only other time I was allowed to be awake was to eat, wash and train.”

As Jacob spoke, the version of him below slowly stood up; mirroring the Maalraas that did the same. It’s greater size and different color indicated the creature was an alpha amongst its kind. There was a strap of metal across the neck’s of both man and beast, a collar that was used to inject the drugs. The moment Jacob was up he charged the beast.

“I couldn’t control it, the Force I mean. Whatever happened to me in the Netherworld had eroded it. While I was conscious, they had to use stimulants to keep me from just lashing out with it. But when I did, well...I very much became the little moniker that had given me. The Beast of Dxun.”

He watched himself fighting below, knowing that this had just been another fight for him, just like any other day. It was clear in how the man moved that he was use to fighting against creatures. And after several minutes; as the stimulents were burned from his body from the physical exertion, Jacob began swinging his arms around wildy, sending Force blasts at the Maalraas.

“This was my last fight I believe...before I remember waking up and breaking free.”

Jacob subconsciously reached behind his back, his fingers grazing over where the scar across his back was.

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

In Matsu’s experience there were three types of people who turned to the Dark Side. The First came across it though they had never asked for it. They were forced, coerced, molded by someone or something - shoved through a grinder until they came out the other side completely incapable of being anything else. The Second sought it out with a desperation only those seeking power to cure their pathetic lives might display, a craving to be something more than than the Worm. Both were capable of achieving great heights, but there was inherently more potential in the Third.

The Third was the one who was born to it, accepted it as a part of themselves either through that first great suffering or simply because it would not leave them alone. They could not be whole without it.

When Jacob turned his gaze from the scene in front of them to look at her, she thought she knew what he was. A Third.

She watched the scene unfolding underneath her, the Maalraas doing its best to hold off against the onslaught. This memory alone already put the earlier moments on Maena in more context. Fascinating, really. That part of the Sith Lord’s mind that thought of people as things was already thinking of all she might have done in the position of those people on Dxun who had used Jacob for their own ends. How would she have made him stronger? How much flesh might she have pared back to make him something new, something strong, something horrifying? Alas, she lacked their short-sightedness. They had merely squandered so much potential - made it small, made it ordinary despite the pain they’d inflicted.

No - Matsu thought this Beast could be so much more if given the chance to sharpen its claws in a manner of its own choosing.

“So the Storm you created on Maena is a product of this inability to control the Force. And yet you command this place,” she said, raising a hand to indicate the walls as the headspace it truly was, “rather well. Very well, truthfully. It is your mind so it is naturally easier to control but…” She drifted off, considering him. Mentalism was an abstract power, more difficult to teach than something like telekinetics or saberplay. It was strange and infinitely interesting that one was easier for him than the other. It made her hungry.

“Show me the beginning. The very beginning. The first thing that comes to mind. I won’t supply you with my power, so I suggest finding something that hurts.”

In time she would dig. In time she would push her claws in and find the memories she wanted, the things she would leech from his mind to feed her infinite curiosity. But first she wanted to see if she was right - to see what sort of mentalist she had on her hands.

[member="Jacob Crawford"]​

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob was confused. Matsu's words rang in his ears, sinking in but they refused to settle. Instead they began to chip away at a veil of ignorance that was hidden away. His mind wandered back to when they had first arrived in his mind, recalling the lack of any initial recognition. Specifically that it was wrong. He should've instantly recognised that it was his mind, yet when he had looked around it had never registered as such. It wasn't until he had finally realised Matsu was also present, that the veil had been lifted enough for him to make the connection.

Why?

What had happened to him that his own mind would be locked away from him. What did the Nether-

"No." It was the male voice this time, a deep tone that echoed from every direction.

Jacob grimaced as his head was wracked with pain, the very memory they stood in almost seemed to phase in and out of place until it ebbed away.

"I-I don't know." The previous anger began to shift, making way for a more unsure tone. "This is my mind...yet has not felt like it has been since we arrived. I feel like a foreign entity in my own mind." His words devolved into a venomous hiss, the anger swiftly returning to the forefront. Jacob's hands wrapped around the railing, much like he had done before when he had forcefully pushed to the next memory. He called on that same feeling, the ichor of the dark side that had slithered its way into his veins and feasted upon the emotion. There was no Matsu there to give him power; that push, but her words were enough.

Something that hurts.

The railing buckled beneath his hold, but instead of just bending to his will. It shattered.

Both Jacob and Matsu were sent through the same blinding light, but instead of seeing glimpses of the void; of the translucent bridge, They saw something else entirely.

There was a man, alone in the middle of a wasteland. His form bare of any clothing. He began to scream, a soul tearing yell as his mind and body were torn asunder. Unseen spectres all around him, pecking away like vultures on a carcass. It was there for but a moment, a glimpse yet also an amalgamation of Jacob's years in the Netherworld.

Then it was gone, and the pair were greeted with a memory far apart from the ones on Dxun. They were on Nar Shaddaa, standing like any other person on the streets, unnoticed. The memory was a strong one, enough that Jacob could literally smell everything around him. His eyes flicked around, recognising the location to be his neighbourhood as a child. He eventually saw a pair of mercenaries standing guard outside an apartment door, a young eleven year old boy hiding around the corner.

Jacob eyes widened, he knew what this was.

It was the night he had overheared his father so willingly sell his own son to a Hutt.

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

Matsu could be accused of being overly distanced. When caught at almost any moment of the day her features were a mask of indifference - calm, quiet, perhaps lined by the faintest hint of amusement or disdain depending on what she was looking at. Reading her mind was an impossibility. But her eyes usually told one what they wanted to know if they were brave enough to hold her gaze. And despite her hands clasped gently behind her back, an expression as unreadable as the depths of some sea, her eyes coiled with quick darts of black and amber that denoted excitement as Jacob’s rage tore apart the scene around them.

The voices that seemed to hold Jacob back from his own mind were unique, perhaps a problem, but her priority was seeing if he could be the one to break them and so she gave it little thought as the world changed around them and Crawford brought them somewhere new.

She hadn’t been pulled to the Netherworld. She’d been left behind. But she’d been inside enough people’s minds to feel as if she’d visited that place. A thousand agonies. A hundred forms of torture. All personalized. What would hers have been? Jacob’s rang in her ears, a sound akin to all his suffering as it ripped out of his lungs. What was left for him except that sound?

When they landed in a new memory, it took Matsu a moment to get her bearings. The anger that had fueled their transition forced Matsu to regain her footing beneath her, the world lurching forward without her for a moment with the momentum of her companion’s emotion. Powerful. Good. Nar Shaddaa loomed up above them. What good had ever come from this planet? Hutts were disgusting, a people the Atrisian could well live without. Lucas had lived out a terrible existence as a child on the filthy excuse for a rock in space. And Matsu had asked for pain. They were here because Jacob had suffered something on this world too.

Her eyes drifted towards the boy hiding around the corner of an apartment, recognizing that dirty blonde hair enough that when she looked to Jacob she wasn’t surprised at the recognition and reluctance on Jacob’s face.

She was about to speak when the apartment door opened.

“So when can I expect the credits?” The voice came from a man who shared some similarities in appearance to Jacob, though he seemed weathered by years of hardship - perhaps mostly self-imposed. Matsu didn’t have to work hard to surmise this was Jacob’s father. The darkly stylized man leaving the apartment ahead of him seemed to be choking back the urge to throttle the elder Crawford, lips pressed together in a thin line that he erased as he turned at the bottom of the short flight of steps to respond.

“Like I said before, when you deliver the kid you’ll get the money,” responded the glorified thug as he pulled a cigarette from its crumpled pack, missing the glint of greed and desperation in the father’s eyes. Years of debt paid off. No more running. No more nights spent lying awake in fear. And all he had to do was sell his only son to the Hutts.

“Excellent. He’ll be home in a bit, and I’ll bring him to the place you mentioned.”

“You do that,” replied the Cartel broker, shooting Mr. Crawford a raise of the eyebrows and curt nod of dismissal that said ‘that’s nice’.

Mr. Crawford disappeared inside.
Young Jacob turned on his heels and ran.

It was right through Matsu that the apparition of a memory sprinted, a sensation like burning alive for the few seconds it passed. And in those moments she felt everything. Pain. Fear. Betrayal. Sadness. Anger. And most potent of all, that last vestige of hope so intrinsic to childhood - that belief that there was a light at the end of every tunnel, that unreality that was inevitably crushed from every youthful mind. And Jacob had seen the light go out so finally, so terribly...from the one person who should have been fighting to keep it alive.

Beautiful.

It made her so very, very hungry.

There had to be a reason that the Cartel had been willing to forgive what was - ostensibly - a large debt for a young boy. Matsu wanted to know. And so for the first time since she and Jacob had sunk in to his head she took control, her claws sinking in to wrest the reins from his hands. She dug without regard for what she might see or dredge up, single-minded and starving.

“NO.”

That same voice from earlier, but angrier.

But she ignored it, pushing aside great mounds of dirt as she clawed her way in to the soil and mud and spit of Jacob’s mind.

When she came up for air they were somewhere new. It was dark, dirty, lights swinging from a ceiling echoing with the sound of hundreds of voices gathered around a cage in the center of the chamber. Money was changing hands, credits traded and transferred in grimy, shaking palms. The crowd roared as two fighters in the pit below traded blows, one falling backwards and slumping motionless on the ground. More credits were traded. More money flowed as the ring was cleared.

“Where are we?” she asked the man at her side.

[member="Jacob Crawford"]​

 

[Jacob Crawford]

There was a moment, brief as it was where Jacob felt as though he truly were in control. Sure, he had forced his way through to a memory prior but that been along a set path - a preselected destination he had no say in. This was different. He had grasped a hold of this mindscape - his own mind that he was a stranger in. He was immediately greeted with resistance, something tried to hold him back as he sifted through his memories, searching for something specific. It was like being on a boat amidst a storm, him as a passenger and someone else held the oars. Now he had forced his hand on the wheel, his anger the engine as he smashed his way through.

Matsu had said to find something that hurt, and he knew exactly what to pick. Once it had been a memory he wished he could forget, but now it was just another log to the fire. The emotions boiling inside him, churning about in a dark cauldron - Matsu stirring it, without moving a finger.

When they had finally arrived, every one of those emotions hit Jacob at once. He remembered it all, everything he felt that day years ago - an expression of recognition and shock on his face. He could feel the rage almost instantly try to slip away, but he quickly grasped it and held it tight. It simmered beneath the faux surface that the memory had brought about.

Jacob remembered this moment well. Hours prior he had been sent away by his father to go work, to any of the workshops that dotted the neighbourhood they lived in. Once his father had actually worked a day, fixing up all manner of machinery. But at some point drink had took its hold and he wasted his days away at home or in casinos. Tonight had been at Old Man Zanix's place. Too far in his years to be any good with his hands, so he hired help for his business. He was nice - as much as one could be on Nar Shaddaa. Paid well too, even though Jacob barely saw it once he stepped inside his home.

He didn't even need to see his younger self's face to know exactly what emotions were going through him. There was the curiosity, wondering what was being discussed and with whom. Then the confusion started to trickle in as he recognised the other man's voice. The shock, fear and betrayal swiftly followed as he just stood there around the corner; listening.

Then the door opened and Jacob's eyes were instantly on his father. The faux emotion that had come with the memory was demolished by the rage beneath it. Anger rolled off him in waves, and the dark side that swirled around them - as he stood by Matsu's side gobbled it up and molded it, sending back to its source. It went so far to distort their surroundings, a sign that Jacob was beginning to directly influence his mindscape.

The urge to just go over there, wrap his bare hands around his father's neck and squeeze...

No, that would be too nice of a death.

He did nothing, knew it was pointless to pursue as he wasn't really there. Instead he returned his gaze to his younger self, watch as he turned on his heels and just ran. He blended into the crowd and dissappeared - unaware that around another few blocks he'd run into his salvation in the form of a Jedi Knight.

Then that voice spoke, one that Jacob hadn't only heard last on that Maena beach. Much more angrier in that one word than he ever recalled him being in the past. Jacob turned to see Matsu was taking things into her own hands. The pain returned, but it was lessened - the rage that had been built up and held itself in Jacob didn't necessarily soften it, but rather adapted to it; used it.

Jacob hadn't even needed to open his eyes to know what memory Matsu had taken them to. It all hit him at once, the music, the roar of the crowd. Sounds of fighting. The smell...

He wrinkled his nose in disgust, but mostly ignored it as he heard Matsu ask a question.

"Nar Shaddaa, Red Light Sector, a few levels down."

As the last two fighters were removed from the cage, another pair was about to enter it.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" A man stood near the cage, a spotlight falling on him as his voices roared over the crowd. "This will be our final event of the night, and we have saved the best for last!" The announcer went through all the motions, hyping up the audience as the two combatants were introduced and brought into the cage. But this was Nar Shaddaa, and it weren't a normal fight club.

The fighters were children.

"Nar Shaddaa has quite a popular dueling ring on the main levels. But deep below they look to grooming fresh fighters from a young age."

One of the combatants was a young Gamorrean, a 'champion' of sorts amongst the underage fighting. The other was a familiar face, about a year younger perhaps.

It was Jacob - or as the announcer referred to him as; The Little Scrapper.

He was much more scrawny in comparison to his opponent, dressed in rags with various bruises and cuts on his body - his knuckles sore and red. But as he was guided into the cage, there was a serious look in his eyes, relaying this certainly wasn't his first bout in the ring.

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

The pattern was well-enough established that Matsu need not be confused about the veiled venom in Jacob’s tone when he explained the scene. The scrapper in the pit had a hard line to his gaze that matched the one she saw on the man that small fighter had turned in to. Bells rang and the fight started. The two wove around each other for a moment, the customary bobbing of two fighters searching for weaknesses in one another’s guard. And then the Gamorrean took a swing, too confident as Jacob ducked low and sent a cut right for the alien’s stomach that was impossibly strong and quick for just a bo---

Even on a planet like Atrisia there was a certain amount of filth in the streets. Even Coruscant had its mysterious oceans deep underneath the planet filled with the refuse of dirty lives a few floors up and beyond.

For all intents and purposes, Matsu was normal. Living far from where most of the garbage collected, she was not the girl that parents warned their children away from, that shopkeepers refused to slip a sweet to for fear she’d come around more often. The little Atrisian had perfected grace and childish charm early on, and her parents were well known even for a planet where most well-to-do families could claim some level of fame. She spent most of her days terrorizing the alleys with her best friend Kesare though never in the way they would become known for later in life.

But sometimes she went down to the gutters by herself, or with Kesare in pursuit of something for...education. A thousand-thousand things found their way down to the bottom of Atrisia – trash, rotting food, lost treasures…and dead things. It was the last that Matsu was primarily interested, pulling the corpses of animals out of the dirt-water and selecting those intact enough or large enough to provide her the best experimentation. She liked to cut them open and discover their insides, follow the lines of organs between one another to figure out how things worked in a way reading only gave her the fundamentals of. She almost always had peace down there to do as she pleased, arranging pieces of carefully cut intestine at her side before going in for more.

Every once in a while someone her age would come down the run-off, following the path of all lost things or simply looking for somewhere to escape. They would come across Matsu and stop, stare, war with a natural instinct to fight her for such abominations or flee. They always left when she turned her head and looked at them, waving a hand over her masterpiece as if to invite them closer – look, do you see? How beautiful!

Where had that come from?

Matsu shook her head, pushing away her own memories that had came sharp and unbidden seemingly from the jarring application of the Force in the memory in front of them. How strange…

“Did you know what you were doing?” she asked quietly, as if they could have been heard over the roar of an excited crowd anyway. That young Jacob was augmenting his throws with the Force wasn’t incredibly obvious. He was no fool to leave himself open to accusations of cheating, it seemed. But she’d seen it enough to recognize it. “Or was it natural?” Somehow her mind was past the litany of cruelties life had forced upon this man. That was humdrum to her, par for the course in the naturally gifted. Trouble seemed to follow them like flies to rot and so she seemed callous as her mind raced. What she wondered was whether or not he was as innately talented as this whole journey suggested.

But the scene changed.

All the sudden the Scrapper was there but without the ring, without the crowd - but with a small pack and not enough breath. Running away.

And what did we have here...

[member="Jacob Crawford"]​

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Everything was drowned out for Jacob. The crowd; cheering and roaring. He didn’t even hear the bell ring, nor his own breath or heartbeat. Instead, everything became centralized on his younger self. The sounds, feeling, even the thoughts that were running through his mind at the time. He remembered it all, as though was just yesterday when it had happened.

As young as the Gamorrean was, he was still much bigger than Jacob. Slower moving, more powerful hits, and had at least some intelligence to him as he managed to get a shot in after his younger self managed to land several of his own. The hit was harsh, the opponents thick forearm slamming into the Scrapper’s chest, sending him crashing into a cage wall. There was a sickening thud, signalling something was likely broken. But the reality was, as it seemed to be throughout the fight, the Force had been used. The Scrapper had managed to soften the blow to his body itself, what would’ve been cracked bones had been minimized to just normal bruising. Though the young Scrapper wasn’t deterred, the moment he was on his feet he lurched forwards and was back in the fight. Throwing more force-laced strikes into the Gamorrean’s stomach and sides.

Jacob remembered his first few fights, all of which resulted in him getting soundly defeated every time. Yet no matter what, his father kept throwing him back in, again and again. He had become his ‘manager’, only caring for the credits that rolled in, even the paltry amounts received from Jacob simply taking part. There was no training, not even the slightest notion of it. Early on he had become the literal fodder, thrown into fights to help other contestants to continue. That was until one day, when Jacob was laid out on the floor, he suddenly slammed a bare foot into his opponent's chest. He had called on the Force in desperation, and the hIt resulted in several cracked ribs and had down the person long enough for him to win.

“Did you know what you were doing?” “Or was it natural?”

“Both, but more of the latter.” Matsu’s words had pierced through the veil and pulled Jacob back to the mental reality that was around them. His answer left his lips instantly. Though he paused shortly after, watching as the Scrapper goaded his opponent to charge, and forcing him to trip and slam face first into the cage wall. “I knew very little during that time. Only that it was called ‘The Force’, and the fact it helped me during my fights. I remember my father throwing me into the fighting pits one morning. Looking back on it, I must’ve done something the night prior, a unintentional display of the Force while I slept. His realization he had came to sudden for it to have been anything else.” Of everything he had expected of his father, after his drinking and gambling. Jacob had suspected he’d eventually turn to violence and hurt his own flesh and blood. Yet somehow, he had surprised him and instead threw his own child into the violence of an underage fighting arena. “My childhood was on Nar Shaddaa, never had an ear to the HoloNet either, so terms like Jedi or Sith were few and far between. All I knew of the Force was as a tool, a weapon against my opponents.” But there was some indication the Scrapper knew what he was doing, at least at this later point in his fighting career. He never used anything blatant, no throwing the amount around with the Force. It was pure and simple enhancement of his own body, whether it was in his blows or defending his body.

But before the fight could reach its conclusion, the mindscape around them faded away and was replaced with a familiar sight. The streets of Nar Shaddaa, none too different to the ones that had been in during the eavesdropping memory. Both Jacob and Matsu followed along as his younger self ran, just kept running even as he grew more fatigued. Eventually though, it was stopped when he ran straight into someone. Hard enough that he bounced back, hit the floor and skidded a bit.

“Oh, I am sorry are you-” The person he had ran into; a male Nautolan, began speaking, only to pause when he looked down at him. His brow furrowed as his eyes fell on the young child’s pack. “Where are you going?”

“R-running away…” Was all the Scrapper could manage, a hoarse squeak as he tried to catch his breath.

A looking of knowing washed over the man’s face, followed by him crouching down to the child’s height. “Where are your parents?” He asked. The lack of an answer, and the easily caught flicker of fear in his eyes answered him. While this was happening, the Nautolan was subtly reaching out with the Force, testing the young Scrapper’s Force presence. This was not missed by either of the two current spectators. To Jacob he recognized the face, to Matsu it was clear this man was a Jedi.

“Would you like to learn?” He asked, getting a puzzled look from the child. “My name is Rhax, a Knight of the Jedi Order. What is your name?”

“J-Jacob…”

“Well Jacob, I have a question for you. Have you noticed anything strange happen around you?” The conversation that followed was a blur, comprised mainly of Rhax talking about the Force and the Jedi. Ultimately concluding with Jacob accepting the offer to be taken to the Order to be trained.

“This is where it began.” Jacob said, turning his head to look at Matsu. The world around them splintered apart, throwing them down through a series of memories next.

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

Matsu shouldn’t have been - wasn’t - surprised at his origins as a Jedi. Lately it seemed as if she were attracting many of those who were from or dabbled in the Light. Though she herself was firmly rooted in the Dark, maybe she offered the opportunity to be near someone who saw there was much to be learned from the Jedi instead of immediately scoffing. They were misguided. But one could still learn from someone who didn’t see the world as they did.

So far all the pieces had fallen in to place. Tragedy. Betrayal. A sudden confusing power that made life easier and harder in equal measure. She mused as the scene changed again. And that was the remarkable thing. This mindscape, this castle of thought, was unprecedented. Was he just naturally meant for a mentalist’s path, born with some innate talent for bending the mind and the Force to his will? Untrained to be sure, as unfamiliar with it as he’d once been as the Scrapper, using it without conscious thought. But, the possibilities…

“No, Jacob,” came a voice, not admonishing but firm nevertheless. All the sudden they were watching as Jacob - a little more filled out than the boy they’d seen running from home - was stopped mid-spar by a burly Twi’lek Jedi with a hand to the shoulder. The opponent, another human boy, had a hand to his jaw as if checking that he still had one after Jacob landed a solid thwack! with his mock lightsaber. “You are still using the Force instead of letting it guide you. You do not have to hold on so tight, control it to make you stronger. That will lead you down a dark path. Let it flow through you. Don’t tell it what to do - let it tell you what to do.”

“Hadn’t you already been doing that your whole life?” Matsu asked as she suddenly appeared in the scene, invisible but close to the pair, thinking she caught a glimmer of that answer in young Jacob’s eyes as he simply nodded at the instructor.

The memory swirled and changed, showing her a Jacob that was eager to learn, devouring information in all forms as that power that had always been a mystery suddenly became clearer to him even as a thousand more mysteries were unveiled.

It swirled again and this time…

______________​

​

“Allyia, I’m not sure it’s a good idea. The Council isn’t sure the boy is trainable, at least not…” the Rodian Jedi trailed off as he spoke to his friend and peer, fearful of finishing his thought. It was as good as wishing that Jacob would become something other than a Jedi to speak that way. As ever, it seemed Allyia - beautiful, unconventional, no-nonsense Allyia - was going to cut right to the heart of things.

“Pretending he doesn’t exist and sending him away with no training is just as good as asking him to run to the Sith. All of our peers act as if just stopping his training with the Order will protect the galaxy. They seem to forget that it will only foster anger to show him what he could become only to take it away.” The dark purple Togruta turned her head towards the younglings training in the large room off to the left. For only the briefest moment something like sadness ghosted over her delicate features, though it was gone and given to the Force as soon as it overcame her. “Hasn’t he already been through enough?”

The Rodian who stood beside her knew his friend well enough to realize something from her past had swum towards the top of a deep ocean of memories, though he chose not to offer comfort. He also knew her well enough to realize she wouldn’t appreciate it. Though Allyia was the sort to push every single button the Council possessed she at least did not worry them when it came to emotion. She rarely showed any but the least personal: sarcastic, smartass, sardonic.

“I’ll send him out then,” he said as he patted her arm, allowing himself that much before going in to the cavernous training room to begin his lesson.

When Jacob came out he looked a mixture of nervous and boldly brave in the denial of it that Allyia recognized well.

“They tell me you still don’t have a Master,” she said quietly, watching them with her hands folded neatly in front of her.

“No, I don’t, Master Zarn,” the boy answered, a tamped-down flare of irritation greeting her senses when the boy answered.

“As of today, you are my Padawan. I can’t promise it’ll always be easy, or that I’ll always be the most patient Master. But you will become a great Jedi, Jacob,” she said, watching as the boy turned his face up to her with the sort of hope that reminded her of why she was a Jedi in the first place.

​

___________​

​

Matsu watched the memory, tilting her head as she listened.

“Nice words,” she said, meaning it. That’s what they were. Words.

[member="Jacob Crawford"]​

 

[Jacob Crawford]

The memories that had followed after his first meeting with Rhax were practically a blur, a consequence of his memory loss of these particular years. But Jacob could see it, the distortion that surrounded them all, forcing his senses into a haze that made it impossible to recall them. The presence and aid of Matsu was like an anchor, held firmly outside of his fractured mind - capable of being a catalyst to a greater insight. Jacob could see things different, realize the inconsistencies before him. The memories felt foreign, and yet familiar at the same time. That feeling of being a passenger returned, they did not feel like they were his own. And yet they were, swirling and twisting before and around them.

As they moved, Jacob reached a hand out, and found a door suddenly before him. It was locked. But as he looked upon it he understood it’s origin. It was not the result of some traumatic experience - or rather not just that. Someone had purposely locked these memories from his consciousness. Anything and everything that involved the Force had been intentionally kept behind lock and key. He couldn’t have that. So he raised a hand, open palmed that was swiftly clenched into a fist. The lock was smashed into pieces, and like the crack of a whip, the pair found themselves in a stable memory once more.

The spar was a moment of insight for Jacob. Like someone had thrown a bucket of water over his head and woke him up. It felt right, these memories. Not the Jedi context of them, but the fact that it was part of what had been missing. Whereas the Jacob that had found himself kneeling before Matsu was a blind shell. The one that stood beside her could now finally see. He did not know why these had been locked away, but that empty gap he had felt since Dxun was finally being pieced back together.

He could feel the emotions his younger self was going through. A combination of pride and frustration. The first from landing a blow and one upping his sparring partner. But the latter from the interruption, and the lecture that followed. He watched as his memory simply looked up at the Jedi instructor and mutely nodded his head. Yet from his and Matsu’s perspectives, they could see a glimpse of what was in his eyes.

The mindscape swirled once more, but like he had done with his childhood, Jacob grasped ahold of it and directed it instead. He pushed them towards another solid memory, one that was truly critical to him

And what a memory it was…

-x-​

It wasn’t even a second after the Rodian had said her name, that Jacob was standing before her. Allyia Zarn. Up until now she had simply been a name, just words on a screen. But now that he was seeing her - his memory of her. He studied everything about the Togruta. Jacob immediately felt a sense of kinship from the woman, something that begun to blossom many years ago, and had flourished until it was shattered by the Netherworld.

Then something occurred to Jacob, he looked around for his younger self. How was this memory happening? Surely it was impossible unless he was present. That’s when he remembered, and it struck him. He moved towards the door that blocked the way to the training room. But this was his mindscale, and he forced it to buckle in his wake and allow him to pass through. What he saw brought a smirk to Jacob’s expression. For there was his younger self, ear pressed against the door eavesdropping. No matter how much teaching the Jedi instilled in him, you couldn’t take those old habits from someone like him.

He watched as the younger him suddenly backed away and stood with his fellow younglings, who eyed with various degrees of emotion. Jacob followed as the Rodian guided the young boy out of the room and towards Allyia. Again, he could feel the swirl of differing emotions during that moment. That instinctual, concentrated irritation, which was quickly dwarfed by a sudden ray of hope not long after.

In hindsight now, he could see why he was suddenly so connected to the Togruta Master. She had simply been the first and only one to truly accept him, damn what everyone else thought of it. Jacob looked over at Matsu as the woman spoke, her words ringing truthfully in his ears. And he gazed down at his younger self, so quickly enraptured by Allyia's own words.

And then, as though they were back on a set course, the mindscape twisted about again. They were rushed through another series of memories, flickers and gazes into Jacob’s years under Allyia's tutelage. Until they were suddenly dropped into one that was a far cry from the one they had just left.

There was no hope here, just frustration and a shackled anger buried deep beneath the Jedi teachings.

And older Jacob - one closer to the age of him currently, stormed past them. The starkest comparison was the current Jacob, the one standing beside Matsu looked a somewhat more mature - being in his mid thirties. Whereas the one they were now watching was a good ten years younger. Following behind him was Allyia Zarn, although a first glance it barely looked as though she had aged that much over the years. What was notable though, is that while it wasn’t on the level of Jacob’s, she too held a deal of annoyance in her gaze.

“Jacob-”

“No, Master. This...this is the fifth time they’ve denied me my Trials. This year.”

“The council…”

“Sc-,” Jacob twisted around to face his Master, but at the sight of her - Allyia's calm, understanding expression, he stopped himself. And instead sighed, hung his head in frustration. “I can’t even remember how many times they refused last year. I should already be a Knight, I’ve done everything.”

“And you have,” she said placing a hand on his shoulder. “Even by Jedi Law you have accomplished everything a Padawan needs to start on that path. The only thing that is stopping you are several voices sitting in their seats in a big room.”

There was a look shared between the two, from Padawan to Master. A glimmer of that hope from when they had first met started to shine through. It seemed to rather than calm the Padawan, he simply understood. Knew that his Master would help him, as she always had.

And as Jacob walked further down the hall, Allyia remained watching as he grew steadily smaller until he finally rounded a corner. The Togruta sighed, and peered back at the door where the Jedi Council sat. There was no outward emotion coming from her, but the look of disdain in her eyes couldn’t be missed.

“Don’t you worry, Jacob. I’ll make sure you become a Knight.”

The memory faded in the wake of that, and the ever familiar swirl of rushed memories began to formulate around him and Matsu. They saw glimpses of a few different planets, each one Jacob soon visited. Confronted by a mission that was in truth one of the Jedi Trials, veiled beneath a pretence.

​

“ENOUGH!”​

Both Jacob and Matsu were forcefully torn away. A flash of white blinded their eyes, before it disappeared and they were thrown harshly to the ground. Jacob slowly picked himself up, realizing they were back on one of the plateaus in the endless void, purplish-pink sky and all. But a suddenly shift ahead of him alerted him to the fact they were no longer the only two here.

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

There was only darkness now. The recollection of how one could become momentarily dazzled by sunlight something vague and nearly forgotten. She knew how her world came to end. Still there was a memory; rendered unseeing with flashes of yellow and white gold, blinking as the wide world exploded into fragments as sharp as glass until finally shape became form and form became distinct with everything even brighter than before. She remembered that too. If she tried. Except she doesn’t try anymore. Where once there was the promise of light in the elusive outline of future, now the dark was so pervasive, so complete, so filled with the things she left behind.

The soles of her feet are clean but the rest of her was covered in filth, (her hair, her flesh, her wounds) and beneath a dark tailored blazer and matching trousers, He was unclean, too.

He was a lord, (of sorts) of the forever night and He masters over her in the way He swore He never would. Leaving her towards the heart of a candle-lit room to contemplate the questions His mind asked of hers. He wanted her soul; she’d known it in the same way she knew how to touch the Dark. By heart.

Starving, her stomach cramped painfully. When He offered to feed her, she felt no different from a dog begging for scraps as she tore mouthful after mouthful out of raw, three-day-old flesh. After He left she stumbled out to the balcony and vomited over the edge. She listened for the frantic scuttling of children running below. Retching until she was bent over at the waist and dry-heaving, she wiped her lips with the back of her hand. He’d always known about her sickness but never mentioned it. She had nearly forgotten about the time when she’d hunted Him in return, and she wanted to scream at Him to fight her again, to dare Him to destroy her.

Her tongue felt swollen then, her hands and feet twisting backwards, as her spirit was stripped into tatters. She was losing the battle she thought, but the war...the war was something still worth fighting.

There was a crown made of snakes, an amber necklace with a writhing scorpion pendant, a gown fashioned from flayed human skin, and a throne made of bones. She refused it all. “I’ll never be like you.” She was a tired specter haunting her own body, she could not leave the confinement of bone and flesh when the blood belonged to Him.

“Now who’s the liar?” He boasted.

It had always been too late.

________​

For once, when the memory ceased, she was unsure. She blinked, strange pink-pale light burgeoning up over the horizon and breaking the vision. It hadn’t truly happened. It was something she’d once feared, a Dead Man who’d pushed her towards mentalism simply to forget he’d ever existed. Somehow this place was...picking at her. Making things. Building strangeness.

For a moment she was blindingly
.................irrevocably
.........................dangerously angry.

“Enough…” the same voice said again, though quieter now that it didn’t feel so directly threatened. But no less serious. No less stern. Matsu had quieted too. But she was no less angry.

[member="Jacob Crawford"]​

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob brushed himself down, getting rid of the dust and dirt that had accumulated when he had been roughly thrown back into the void that was his mindscape. He turned his head slightly, eyes falling on Matsu as she too stood up. Jacob could practically feel her at this moment, the anger that was coiling around her like a hungry serpents. He frowned slightly, not out of wonder towards her rage, but more as to why he could feel it right now.

But his thoughts were interrupted when the same voice from before, now softer spoken but just as serious as it had been before.

“Enough…”

Jacob turned his attention to just ahead of them, standing to the other side of the plateau was two figures, a duo that Jacob had heard for the longest time only heard. And now here he was, laying eyes upon them for the first time.

Standing to their left was a woman, that even from this distance it was clear she barely stood a few inches more than Matsu, and was most certainly shorter than Jacob. Her skin was pale, almost unnaturally so, to a point it practically blended in with the creamy white color of her dress. That of which hung loosely on a thin frail frame, the hem of the dress tickling the top of her bare, bony feet that poked out from beneath it. The woman’s hair was blonde, a shade darker in comparison the how ‘light’ she looked. It was stringy and unkempt, yet neatly tucked into a braid. Her eyes were green; the same as Jacob’s, only hers looked sunken and tired.

The second person, standing to their right was...something else.

It bore no resemblance to any known race other than bearing the general male structure. He was like a colossus standing to the woman’s side, his height towered over even Jacob, if only by a half a foot. The man’s skin was like volcanic rock, blackened and cracked. Small trails of liquid; of lava perhaps, formed various patterns along his body. Like the veins running through a human. His face had no trace of hair, just pure rock, as if he had literally been carved from it. The eyes were nothing more than a solid orange, the same color that flowed through the cracks. A line of which trailed from where each tear duct should’ve been, flowing down his cheeks to his neck, and then back up across the bridge of his nose. His clothing was simple, black in color in its entirety and resembling more traditional robes. They wrapped over broad shoulders, forming a ‘V’ that stopped just above his stomach. A thick sash separated it from a pair trousers and boots.

“Who are you?” Jacob asked, even though in the back of his mind the answer was already there, crawling to the forefront.

“You know who we are.” The woman spoke, her voice light and weak.

“We the voices, the ones who have been there since your return from the Netherworld.” The man spoke, his voice deep and serious.

“I am Elena.” His mother, or whatever it was that was using his last memory of her as a face.

“And me?” The man began, his eyes fixed on Jacob. “I have no name, or title…” His eyes briefly flickered over to Matsu. “Not yet anyway.” Before settling back on him.

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

Mentalism was, by its very nature, a more esoteric art. It lent to the ability to see unexplainable things and remain calmly curious instead of responding to a more human need for fight or flight. Regardless, the two that formed in front of Jacob and Matsu now were wildly unexpected. Manifestations of his consciousness? He felt damnably fractured. Maybe these things were representations of something he needed to put back together. She reached out, thin, crawling threads of her power seeking to sneak their way in to the newcomer’s minds only to find…

...nothing.

They felt like Jacob. They spoke thoughts separate, antagonizing. But there was nothing there.

When the Netherworld had opened and eaten half of the galaxy, she’d been left behind. Perhaps it was some cruel trick of fate to deny her entrance to that place where all those who died moved to, denied her the chance to ask them what it felt like. Though it could be argued to be a blessing considering all those she’d put there, and in what matter. But regardless, she’d seen it. She’d seen it through the eyes of everyone who’d come back, everyone who’d crawled and scraped and screamed and fought and beaten and cheated and stolen their way out of the afterlife to return to the galaxy. She’d seen enough to know that it worked in too many ways to call anyone’s experience similar and that whatever this was… it had crawled out of something hideous.

Onley had asked her once if she’d find the world lonely without everyone in it. Truly, it sometimes felt that way to her anyway and with half its population gone there had been times she could imagine it.

She caught the glance of the male’s eyes towards her. Whatever sat there she did not like.

“Does ‘yet’ imply a plan?” she asked quietly.

[member="Jacob Crawford"]​

 

[Jacob Crawford]

“Well, it depends on how this all turns out.” The man smirked, that infuriating quirk of his lips indicating he knew something Matsu didn’t. Jacob frowned, and Elena was nonchalant, disguising whether she was clued in or not.

The subject matter at hand however; Jacob was getting more frustrated with every passing second. Elena had stated the fact he knew them, but as he looked upon them all he was drawing up was a blank. Sure, he recognized the face the woman was using, but right now all it was doing was making him more angry. That spark of emotion started to shift the mindscape they were in, previously non existent clouds began to form high above. The soft beginnings of thunder crackling amongst them.

While Jacob physically remained stationary, he was in fact reaching out across his mind, trying to grasp ahold of something that would reveal to him the answers that were alluding him. He moved through the cracks that had been brought about with their traversal through memory lane. But as he got near to the epicentre, he felt a wall stand in his way. Whereas before he would have been confused, frustrated and done nothing more. This time his immediate reaction was to slam a fist against it. The void around them shook, a deafening tremor with each blow against the invisible barrier.

But nothing worked, it remained resolute against Jacob’s assault against it.

“Enough...your rage will not solve this.” Elena spoke, her tone mimicking the same tone he had heard for years amongst the Jedi. The man let out a snort in response.

“As much as I disagree with her, she is right. This is your mind boy, swinging your fists around will not work.”

He wanted to refute them, yell at them out of anger and frustration. Instead his eyes wandered over to his left, where Matsu stood. He silently looked towards her for insight, reminding himself of the cold, painful precision she had used back on that Maena beach. Jacob traced that memory over his own actions, spraying his reach out across the wall and simply feeling it out for anything and everything. The barrier seemed to pulse at his touch, as if it were responding to his return. And as he stretched out across its entirety, it finally dawned on him.

“You’re both me…” Jacob said, his voice barely a whisper, but was carried through the air. “But then that begs the question. What are you?”

“Light.” “Dark.” “Remembrance.” “Fear.” “Past.” “Future.”

The duo’s words rang eerily across the void itself, not missing the slightest beat as though they had been awaiting this moment for a long time. It was the man who continued to speak afterwards.

“When you were pulled into the Netherworld, you unfortunately found yourself in one of the worst areas. Almost immediately it had begun eating away at you, your body, mind and soul. And it wasn’t quick, oh no it took its time tearing you apart. You tried to traverse the lands, but it was futile and you eventually succumbed to it.”

Images from before came flashing back before Jacob’s eyes.

There was a man, alone in the middle of a wasteland. His form bare of any clothing. He began to scream, a soul tearing yell as his mind and body were torn asunder. Unseen spectres all around him, pecking away like vultures on a carcass.

“But you refused to let that be the end of it, and as such you created us.” Elena decided to speak up. “For me, I am your remembrance of the past, the thing that anchored you and kept you steady. Never letting you fall too far, despite skirting the line so many times. I am your Light.” Her eyes lingered over to the man, standing there with his arms crossed against his stone chest.

“I’m your fears, woven into a single form. Of which you can see are...greatly exaggerated as does anyone’s fear should they allow them to take root.”

“So you’re what, meant to be what I feared I’d become?” Jacob asked, the man glowered in response of the interruption.

“In a manner of speaking, yes. I am the future, or one possible future. Maybe that’s not the case anymore with what’s happened today. Or it could be this was the true path all along.”

Jacob grumbled slightly, feeling a slight headache drumming up from the back and forth.

“The point being I am your Dark, the seething emotion that has been burning within you since Nar Shaddaa. That of which you couldn’t completely escape, thanks to the Jedi. We are here because you created us, in order to not allow the Netherworld to completely destroy you utterly. It was by your own hand that your mind was fractured, fragmented into pieces. That is what we are. The separate pieces that make you whole, keeping us hidden so the Netherworld couldn’t consume us.”

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]