Something different.

[Marius]

Last night, out of nowhere, I started writing a story. Fantasy genre, first person point of view. I've found the blog utility of this website to be a great place to post the story. I've got the first chapter on and I would be glad to receive all sorts of feedback and critique. Also, I apologize if this is the wrong place for this and if it is please delete this thread.

Prince's Howl: Chapter I

I've yet to edit it for spelling and grammar mistakes, but I would like to know what you people think and areas of improvement I should focus on. For those who find it enjoyable to read, I am going to proceed to post up chapter after chapter as I seem to be really interested in writing this story and see where it goes.

Thank you in advance!

 

[Abelain Narv'uk]

Other than the occasional redundant sentences that make the meaning of the passage difficult to understand, it is quite good.

Your main character seems quite prone to violence based on his attacking a sibling after a little name-calling, but I could definitely see that being a real possibility.

Lots of lore development, which I personally enjoy reading about. The Wolf motif is a hint overused, but it's still interesting enough.

Again, a decent enough read. There are minor grammatical errors, but you've already mentioned them so I shan't harp upon the subject.
[member="Marius"]

 

[Marius]

Other than the occasional redundant sentences that make the meaning of the passage difficult to understand, it is quite good.

Your main character seems quite prone to violence based on his attacking a sibling after a little name-calling, but I could definitely see that being a real possibility.

Lots of lore development, which I personally enjoy reading about. The Wolf motif is a hint overused, but it's still interesting enough.

Again, a decent enough read. There are minor grammatical errors, but you've already mentioned them so I shan't harp upon the subject.
[member="Marius"]

Thank you for the feedback!

My skills of forming sentences so they would not be too long and full of all sorts of information is quite below average. I've also noticed this and I will try to improve it as much as possible. I feel like when I am writing I have to include all sorts of information and some sentences get bundled up with unnecessary information. This might be for the fact that I've been writing reports for the last three years in Uni and I've always been worried if the information I put on them is enough. It is certainly something I should improve to make reading more pleasant.

Hahaha, yeah, the character - youth at its finest. But I will say no more as to refrain from 'spoilers' about him.

I've personally also always enjoyed lore development, I think it fulfills the picture that the reader imagines while reading. The Wolf motif is truly overused. I spent some time trying to refrain from it but personally I've always had a weak spot for the canid family. Nothing to do with all sorts of teenage wolverines and shapeshifters that have been trending in the last years. Personally I despise that trend, in my opinion it has torn even more of the overused Wolf motif.

And yes, I will get down on editing those gramatical errors I have allowed along with 'reconstructing' some of those over-complicated sentences.

Again, thanks for the feedback! It will truly guide me on what I should be improving. I am sure it won't take just another chapter for all those areas of improvement to be adressed but in my future writing I hope to have improved vastly. I believe it's all about progress