Private Spring Cleaning

[Malcoma Hesse]

It wasn't spring, but Mal never ignored a random urge to clean, for she got them so seldomly.

She had been in a rundown, single story house for a few hours already. Though it was suitable for residence, it had been being used for storage since Malcoma moved herself and her girls into the hotel. Everything from boxes of shredded Family documents to old bed sheets or worn blankets that she kept meaning to either get fixed or fix herself had found its home in one of these dusty rooms.

Right now, the headmistress wasn't doing much cleaning. On the living room sofa beside her was a small cardboard box with its lid pushed slightly off. The label read 'Pranda's Trinkets'. With one hand, she pulled the blanket wrapped around her closer, and with the other, she took a leather bifold out of the box. She opened it and turned it so that she could more easily read the ID card stashed in the clear pocket.

It wasn't Pranda.

Running her thumbpad over the ribbed fabric above, a few plastic cards slid out of the slots.

Nostalgia could distract the cold headmistress as easily in some situations as much as it could the next person.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Time had moved faster than Judah could account for. It was the curse of getting older. The older Lesan found himself wondering often how time had seemed to move at a pace that he could no longer seem to keep up with. A year moved faster than it should have more often than not, which meant that time between visiting friends seemed to get further and further apart even if it had just seemed like little time had passed at all.

He should have visited Malcoma sooner. They were friends, partners in some kind of capacity. They blew in and out of each other’s lives not too dissimilar to the way Judah and Magena seemed to. The though often made Judah think if the fault lied with him. Had he simply refused to settle because he still carried the pain of loss, or at least the fear that if he truly found someone to love again he would hurt like that again.

Mal knew, at least Judah thought she did, that he liked being around and not just because of the banter. Despite the rough and tough exterior there was a softness Judah had seen which endeared the woman to him. The way she cared for the girls she took in was heartwarming, a noble deed in an otherwise not so noble world.

He knocked on the door as he approached, then rang the bell. It was not his habit to do so as they often met under circumstances where the other barged right in. Of all things, he had been invited to help clean. It was a domestic task, but in the back of his mind Judah could not help think there was some kind of catch. With Malcoma there usually was. She was either going to ask him something, or he had something he needed from her.

Today, at least on his part, he was not arriving with an agenda.

It truly was a curious thing.

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

"It's unlocked!" Malcoma called a moment before setting the wallet back into its box and closing the cardboard lid. As Judah let himself in, she added, "In the living room." He would find himself there if he walked a short distance down the entryway, where a wide archway looked into the indicted room and he could see his friend at the bay window, adjusting the curtains.

"Thank you for coming," she continued. "I'm very proud of you. A Jedi Master helping a Made mobster with woman's work; it must be so scary."

She turned to look at him, waiting for once for a response.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

The living room. Her directions had been casual. Yes, the blonde had been expecting him, but she bid him to enter as if they were familiar with each on a level that allowed them both to put their guard down. In some ways that was an accurate evaluation, in other ways, Judah knew he was all the wiser to remain aware of her feminine wiles and ways. They were nothing more than friends but there was something else between them as well.

“You make me sound so domesticated,” he chuckled when Malcoma came into view. “I was married once, remember. She left me with a nice pair of stun cuffs. If you prefer I will arrest you instead.”

Judah smirked. The Corellian playfulness was something which came out of him easily. Everything was more casual between them which only made it easier. The Jedi had opted to forgo his robes in favor of something more akin to what he would have worn on a weekend home at the Lesan Compound. His son JJ had seen to rebuilding it, and the older Shadow was still meaning to check it out.

“How have you been Mal?”

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

Mal laughed, a short but genuine sound. A simple change of scenery and a simple task, with nothing notable hung in the balance, seemed already to have transformed the headmistress into another person. It would make for three sides of her, now, that Judah had seen. Whether or not he saw himself as lucky for that, he was.

"Stun?" she echoed. "I'm no longer a masochist, dear; you've missed out on that, I'm afraid."

Her voice pivoted, then, with her as she turned back to tying up the curtains. "The law hasn't caught up with me yet. My guests are in good health. Damris is keeping my competitors at bay." She secured the bundle of half of the inner fabric and shuffled a bit to start on the outer bit. Soft sunshine streamed into the room to illuminate all the dust she had spent months neglecting.

Yes, he was probably much more of a domestic than she was.

"Still, not everything's rosy, but, all told, I've been alright. We have. Sonti says hi.

"How about yourself?"

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

"Too bad," Judah tossed back with ease.

A smirk pulled at his lips. He knew what Mal meant, and while they seemed to dance around the idea the pair had to actually do anything about it, even if Judah was curious. The teasing was just part of their dynamic as far as Judah was concerned. With some it came easy, others it did not. Sure he wasn't the typical Jedi in that sense, or these days maybe he was. Regardless. Judah just smiled and started to get to work while they caught up.

There was a lot of dust.

A LOT OF DUST.

Judah wondered how long it had been since Malcoma had cleaned the place, but then his mind turned to how long it had been since she last visited the house. It did not seem to be her primary residence, so why ask Judah there? This was why his thoughts always held some level of caution and reservation with Mal. She seemed to give him reasons as to whether he was up to something or not. Even with his empathy Judah had a hard time reading the woman. It made here a mystery.

"Well at least the law hasn't found a reason to catch up with you yet. Can't have them locking up my favorite infobroker now can I?"

Maybe the Jedi cleaned up the evidence a little, or maybe Mal was that discrete. Neither of them made it a big deal.

Dusting was not hard work, and Judah had several surfaces clean before the question came back to him. How was he doing? At least they were doing okay. Sonti. Judah should have visited more often but, that would mean frequenting the boarding house which Mal and Judah had agreed was not good for business, for either of them. His letters and holos were about all that he could offer regularly.

"Tell her I'll stop by for a visit soon."

She was cute girl, caring too. If the age gap hadn't made their relationship more paternal…

Judah quickly dismissed the thought.

"Same I suppose," Judah finally answered.

He put the dust rag down and looked to the blonde. She also was kinda cute at the moment. Domestic life suited her. She would know it if she gave it a chance.

"Been pushing hard, burning the candle at both ends, all those sayings about working more than I should. You know how it is. At a certain point in life you double down on what you know, even if you miss the things you lost because of it."

Open answers, Mal always got open answers from Judah. Of all the people in his life currently, she was the only one able to get that from him. Perhaps if Cambria was not off on another mission… Mal was who he had whether it was a role she asked for or not.

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

As the Shadow spoke, she began to move boxes and lose books, framed pictures, clothes, and the like off the floor onto the tables and sofa. She had finished a sentence or two before he had, walking out into the entryway and returning with a vacuum cleaner. She rolled it a few feet back into the living room. As she unwound the cord, she replied, "The Council made a good call in making you a Master." Though Mal assumed that said promotion had as much, if not more, to do with his command of the Force and the lightsaber, wisdom had to play a part in it as well. She knew what he meant perhaps more than he knew she did, but, then again, perhaps not.

What she had lost would probably have included a much more domestic side. If she thought about it, power could be found in traditional woman's work, which is why she didn't entertain the idea often. For better or for worse, she had chosen feminine wiles as a source of empowerment not just for herself but for the girls that she came to care for. She vaguely knew that there was another option, another way to be an independent and happy woman in a man's world, but she had dug her current track so deep that she couldn't imagine climbing out of it now.

She walked to the closest wall outlet to plug the cord into it. "I'll tell her. She'll be very happy." Then over to the side of the large and ornate area rug stretched over the hardwood floors. Kneeling, she tugged gently at the edge to smooth out a bunch in the middle of the rug. The next moments were filled with the low whirring of the vacuum while she gave the rug a once-over, then stopped when she leaned the cleaner against the wall in case they needed it again.

"Sorry about the dust." Had she ever apologized to him before? The urge must have been reflexive, it was so out of character. "When you're done with that, could you get some of these boxes into the attic for me? I'll make a pile over here." She pointed at a section of hardwood as she walked back into the entryway, but stayed in view this time. She jumped, once, twice for the ceiling. The clink of heels on the floor was strangely absent, which Judah might now notice was because she didn't have shoes on.

A string swung down from the ceiling. Mal pulled on it, making a slanted wooden ladder unfurl from a recess in the ceiling. The rungs didn't quite reach to the floor, but could be extend out to do so. Instead of pulling again, she returned to the couch to being sorting, to let him decide if he was going to use his midi-chlorians or his muscles to fill the attic.

Pranda's Trinkets were first in the pile of boxes, followed by one full of old CSF police reports.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

The council made a good decision. As long as Mal recognized the current council would have never agreed to it. They were more concerned about who you knew than your accomplishments. The fact the shield of the Jedi was Valery's husband was the only proof needed for Judah to make that assertion. There were other members which made Judah think the same as well. However, while Judah often felt something was amiss, he also kept his distance. Like a true shadow, the Jedi only interacted with the council or others when required. He often operated like a rogue.

Judah just nodded when Mal mentioned Sonti would be happy. It was always good to hear how she was doing. The Jedi certainly had a soft spot for the girl. Of all the girls Mal had taken in, Sonti was the one Judah knew from that first meeting on Coruscant. It was when Judah realized what kind of trouble Malcoma truly was involved in, and by proxy, her girls.

"Why are you apologizing for that, dust happens," the Jedi said with a chuckle.

Dust happens. He was proud of himself for that one, likely more than he needed to be.

His eyes looked over at the boxes and then the ladder Mal had pulled down. He thought about reaching over her head and just grabbing the rope since he was taller, but Judah knew she did not usually like him stepping in to help. He helped when asked, and in this case it was ti lift boxes into the attic.

"You just want to stare at my butt while I'm up on the ladder don't you?"

It was not often Judah made direct comments to Mal like that, but what fun would the day be if they didn't continue to find ways to tease each other. In the end he got up in the ladder to check out the attic space to see where he may put the boxes. Was he tempted to use the force, yes, but the Jedi also valued a good work out. Muscles did not stay firm at his age if they were ignored. Judah took pride in his physique, especially with how close to 50 he was.

One by one Judah picked up each box and carried it up the ladder. About the time he got one placed, Mal had two more in the pile. It would take several minutes, but they way they worked together it did not take that long either. It was the beauty of teamwork, and whether they liked it or not, the pair made a good team.

When they wanted to.

Judah climbed down the ladder and wiped the sweat from his brow. He shrugged.

"So I can't help but think there is a reason you wanted my help today," Judah finally said. "Anything to do with those old reports, or am I just being paranoid?"

Since he could not stop thinking about it, the Jedi Shadow might as well vocalize it. Usually Mal was pretty forward with what she wanted, so he also had to assume it was really just about the cleaning.

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

In the time that Judah had been ferrying in and out of the attic, Mal had cleaned off the sofa again and was dusting off the throw pillows by beating one against her hip. She turned to him as he asked his question, moving her arms to hug the cushion against her chest.

"Just paranoid," she answered, "not that I blame you. They're from a time long past, before Damris joined me." Judah hadn't heard that story, and probably never would, but he might get the impression from how close she was with her bodyguard that it had been a long time ago indeed. The one healthy coping mechanism that Malcoma had was not wasting time or emotion dwelling on the past any more than was absolutely necessary. "Try not to worry. But—

"Sonti's not the only one feeling a bit neglected." Her grasp on the pillow tightened somewhat as her nerves began to fray. "The... uh, pretenses for seeing you have grown few and far between." Word choice like that was a thin veil over the simple urge to spend time with somebody that she enjoyed being around, since she was having trouble directly admitting it.

"I have been trying to distance myself from business, carving time out for myself and my... acquaintances. The successes have so far been minimal, but what little there has been has been beneficial." She paused to collect herself: her courage and her careful vocabulary. "Your name came to mind as I was thinking of individuals that... might help expand this particular horizon."

In the next moment, she shrugged as if saying that had been nothing, meant nothing—not for her and not for him.

"That's all."

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Paranoid… so then what motive did she have to invite Judah to help her clean a house? Any of her girls could have helped, or Damris even. He often was there, in fact his absence was suddenly something Judah was acutely aware of. He looked around a little just to confirm, but the only sign of the man were the boxes he had put into the attic.

Sonti was not the only one feeling…

…neglected.

It dawned on Judah that perhaps his company was something Mal actually enjoyed. He smiled, almost blushed at her response. She was being awkward and trying to choose words which would not give away her true feelings. Judah did not need the force to know she was trying to tell him that she liked having around. That she had even… missed him.

"I missed you too," he replied.

Judah was not about to let her get away with trying to play it off as something that did not mean anything between them. They simply did not talk to each other like this, and for Malcoma to suddenly start was… different. Sure, Judah could admit her explanation was enough to get him off her back just enough, but the way she shrugged had him hooked right back in.

He climbed off the ladder and started to walk toward the blonde. She was working, but he didn't care. Without any words he took the pillow she had been holding and placed it on the couch. His blue eyes just bore into hers for a moment.

"Pretenses, huh?"

He wanted to take her hand, but this wasn't exactly that kind of moment. They were friends, and yet they danced around a few things neither of them ever wanted to vocalize. Judah wasn't sure he was about to, but he was also curious. What pretenses exactly?

"What makes you think you need an excuse to see me… other than wanting to see me?"

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

Mal looked taken aback. "Are you joking?" After a moment of silence and searching his eyes, she made a realization of her own. "Because I've lived most of my life in the underworld. Everything we do is transactional. Spice for credits. A slave girl for a favor. A man buys a woman a drink or two..."

If you do something out of the goodness or urging of your heart, you eventually suffer for it.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Was he joking?

"No."

Yea she had her explanation. The underworld was a place Judah had tasted at a younger age. He did not envy those raised by it, and he pitied those victimized by it. Malcoma was… different in that sense. Judah could not bring himself to feel sorry for her. Where others would have given in to their circumstances, the blonde found a way to rise about them.

"I would believe that about others, but you? You strike me as the kind to do what you want when your mind is made up."

This time Judah did take her hand. He lifted her palm to his lips and kissed it. Nothing had ever been transactional between them. Yes, the had traded information, but Judah did not help her girls because of what she gave him. On the contrary, he did everything out of the goodness of his own heart.

The thing that should have made him suffer.

"But not with me. Never with me."

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

"You must understand I can't trust that," she said, though she did not move away from him. "Men as a collective have not to treated me well."

She wet her lips before clarifying, "Not as a person anyway. They treat me alright as a commodity."

So, she told herself that if all she wanted from them was what little they were going to give, she would be satisfied. It had done the trick for most of her adult life, but since meeting Judah? Well, something was different. It wasn't just that she wanted more; she wanted to give herself permission to give in to it, a give and take relationship that didn't keep score.

"I… I don't know how to trust you, Judah."

The way she said it asked for his help.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Trust was a word Judah reserved for some. Not many could earn it. His master had once told him trust was earned, respect given. It was the one decency Judah afforded everyone on the outset. Were there those which had lost his respect, sure. That was life. Not everyone returned the same gesture of kindness. Malcoma was one who had returned everything he gave her despite their differences.

Did he trust her?

The question was presented to him with her statement. She did not know how to trust Judah, but did he? He supposed he knew how. He supposed he did. There were things about his life she knew that others did not. He had given her his secrets, and asked that she keep them locked away.

"Have I ever asked you to?"

Was that what this was? Judah did not think he was asking her to do anything beyond her nature.

"You are not a commodity to me. If you cannot trust me then trust my actions."

He smiled. His arms wrapped around the woman if she would let them. Judah was quiet. What could he say? Suddenly there was a place they had gone which they had never dared to before. It was unfamiliar territory. Mal was more vulnerable than she had ever been, and Judah was scared.

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

She didn't let him do that, stepping back to distance herself.

Maybe it was just a little comforting that she was acting more like herself again.

She was hung up on the first thing he had said. Had he asked her? No, but he didn't have to. "I want to, you nerf herder!" she exclaimed after a curt scoff. "It's not all about you."

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

"I know you do," he shot back after the sting of feeling rejected. "And when did I say this was about me? I'm just trying to help."

He was always trying to help. Judah spent a lot of energy helping people he didn't need to. Malcome had only asked him to help her girls, but she left herself out of it. It was not in Judah's nature to ignore her while helping the girls she took in. A sigh left his lips as he shrugged.

Judah let her pull away.

He thought about going back to cleaning, but something had changed. There was a tension in the air now. Mal tried to cut it by being herself, but the Jedi was not about to forget about what she said, or how she looked at him when she did.

"You would rather I treat you like the others do? Would that help you figure out what to do with whatever this is?"

There was the question, though Judah asked in a much more pointed way before she could answer.

"What do you really want from me, Mal?"

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

"What I want?" She rolled her eyes. "It seems you're not understanding. I'll try to use smaller words."

Not that she wanted to, as that meant she'd not longer be hiding behind vague denotations, but she had gotten used to doing things she didn't want to long ago. Why change pace now?

"I like you, idiot."

Against her better judgement, she left it at that, for now.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Idiot. It was an apt word considering Judah seemed to be pretty dense in the moment. She liked him. This was new information, maybe. The Jedi had likely seen evidence of it, but chose to ignore it. Mal was also pretty good at keeping him guessing. The thought of someone liking him at his age was something he understood to be a rare thing, likely.

“Oh. Right.”

Judah paused and stopped talking long enough to breathe. His expression changed from one of visible frustration to sheepish embarrassment. It was more than appropriate as his behavior in the moment had not been the most friendly, even if it had been well meaning. The Jedi just wanted to help her figure out how to trust him, but it seemed that it was much deeper than trust.

“I’m sorry.”

It was a simple apology, quiet. What more was there to say? She knew what he was sorry for, his outburst. The truth was not as simple. Did Judah like her, yes. Was he looking for a relationship? Were there others Judah was interested in?

The Jedi did not know what he wanted in that regard per se. He just knew it would be disingenuous to say he did not like Malcoma, or that he did not feel a draw to her physically. She was pretty, kind, and had a great personality, even if the age difference between them was larger than what he had ever been used to. Did it matter?

“I guess I just wanted you to know I am different than what you’re used to. I mean I am a guy that happens to find you very attractive. My mind has certainly thought some things, but… I like you to, and maybe I’m just frustrated because I don’t know what to do about it.”

Oh he knew what to do about, or at least what he wanted to do about it. Beyond that though, beyond any action, what were they?

Judah took a step closer, followed by another. Would Mal pull away this time?

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

She almost laughed.

Almost.

He didn't know what to do about it? Really?

But then she realized, that maybe what that actually meant was in line with what she was struggling with: how to want, how to have a physical relationship that wasn't only that. The realization froze everything but her eyelids in place, which blinked as she followed her train of thought. His approach to her ended in a soft hug. She didn't move away, but her body did remain rigid for a second...two, and then her torso's muscles relaxed into him at once as his hands slid up over her back.

"All we can do is..." she began in a shy whisper, "try."

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

They were closer than they had ever been, and certainly much closer than their banter had ever allowed them to become. Often Judah wondered if the teasing and flirting had been his defense mechanism designed to keep women away. He did not need to guess on that front, Judah had intended it to be that way. His overly egregious flirtations were designed to hold those of the opposite sex at a specific distance. His aim was to ensure one thing.

That he never fell in love again.

Judah was not sure if he was in danger of that with Malcoma, but of all the women he knew there were only two he could say came close. His best friend Cambria Zadira would only ever have to return his advances, and the matter would be decided. With Mal, there was some level of confusion. Whatever it was between them, Judah could not say he understood it. He was certainly curious, but that could lead to any number of feelings or outcomes.

This time she let him hug her. His arms wrapped around her and pulled the woman close. She was hesitant, but Judah was gentle. Her response was though he was invading her space, but the moment passed as she leaned into his embrace. Judah sighed when her head rest against his chest.

“What are we trying?”

It was a valid question. What was it they were agreeing to, or what was it Malcoma was suggesting?

“Do you mean we give us a try? I talk a big game I know, but we both know I am really just as guarded as you are. Which I think brings me back to what I was asking before.”

Judah leaned back so he could look Malcoma in the eye.

“What is it you want from me? Is it me?”