Stand Up and Face the Sun (Siobhan)

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien sat in the dim candlelit room, just thinking. There were so many regrets, so many secrets, and so much she kept hidden. All of it, was starting to eat away at her spirit. No longer did she have to be the spy, the Inquisitor. That part of her life was gone now. The sooner she let go, moved on from it, the better off she'd be.

Sighing, she finished off her third martini, and started to mix a fourth. Idle thoughts clawing at her skull, wanting to escape. The hiding was going to have to stop. Mirien knew this, and guilt ripped at her stomach for not telling Siobhan sooner. The woman had been so kind to the lost, wayward, and homeless ex-imperial. But part of her feared that in telling her, she'd lose the only friend she had. The only friendship in her life that actually felt real, not just relationships born of duty and a need for a country she had no love for.

Rapping her fingers on the edge of the table, a fresh martini in hand... She'd finally decided tonight was the night. There was no way she could continue to hide her past anymore. Though the Inquisition was something else. What she did to her own kind, her own people, that she still had not come to terms with herself, ashamed. That she could not bear to share with another. Not yet. Not when she had no idea if Siobhan would even be here after what she planned to tell her with the brunette returned to their room. For now, just to start with the simplest of facts, and hope for the best.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]



Soft footsteps could be heard from outside the suite, there was the flash of a key card and then the door opened. Siobhan stepped into the suite, looking a bit tired and wearing an elegant black coloured women's business suit, complete with a skirt and shiny stockings that did a good job showing off her long, toned legs. Her feet were tucked into comfortable flat shoes, which she kicked off as she approached. Probably unladylike but who cared. No one told her what to do! Well, except wifey of course.



"Hey, you're not downing all those martinis because you're trying to forget last night, are you? I'd be upset then!" she asked sardonically as she stepped into the room, though her tone was warm, as she crossed the distance and approached Mirien. The suite they were in was luxurious, with all the amenities one could imagine and that money could buy. First rate holographic projector and 'net access, a master bed, a well-stocked minibar. Oh, and it was blessed with having a whirlpool, something Siobhan really appreciated since she liked the bubbles.



The lighting was dim, save for the candles whose flames seemed to cast Mirien's face in a strange light. Still from Siobhan's perspective it was just enhancing her beauty, yet at the some time obfuscating something as if she were deliberately shrouding herself in shadows. That seemed fitting as well, for Siobhan still knew very little of her. She had sensed that she was a force-user and drew her power from the dark side, but Siobhan cared little for Force alignment and the woman had professed her hatred of Sith. Somehow Siobhan believed that was the truth. Yet beyond that she had remained evasive, divulging little of her past, though Siobhan had been uncharacteristically non-pushy.


Even so, she had the feeling that would end now. "Sorry for taking so long. You know how meetings are. Alderaanians love the sound of their own voice. Least they're no longer singing the 'peace and understanding for all time' tune," she said dryly as she affectionately ran her hand through Mirien's brown hair before planting a deep kiss on her lips. "How are you?"

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Hearing the click of the lock as the door opened, Mirien glanced over to the woman who'd brought her so much fun, a moment in time where she could be without care. But as all good things do, they must come to an end.

She managed a smile, "No, not at all." A faint blush spread across her cheeks, "If I could have my way, I'd never forget a moment of it." Smiling a little brighter, she went on, "It was the first night in a very long time that I can actually say I was myself, and I loved every minute of it."

Giving a polite nod, speaking quietly, "It's okay, meetings are meetings. Dull, boring, and take far too much time out of one's day for better activities." A wink followed, still trying to remain somewhat playful and not sully the mood too soon.

Leaning into the kiss, she lightly pulled upon Siobhan's lip before releasing her. "I'm ... well ..." Mirien motioned to the glasses sitting on the table, "Not exactly doing so great myself." As fast as the joy at seeing Siobhan had come, it was quickly fading into sadness and guilt.

"You've been so kind and good to me. I can say for certain that I've never met a soul like you. So, I feel I owe it to you, no matter the consequences, to let you in, let you know of my past. One I've done my very best all my life to keep hidden." Leaning forward, she set down her glass, and pressed her head into her hand, just resting her elbow on the edge of the table for support. "Remember when I said I had no home, no job, nothing but my ship to live out of? Where I was a tool to be used when and where I was needed... Well, it's a lot more complicated than that."

She glanced up, the guilt weighing heavily on her, "I hope you'll join me," Motioning to the seat opposite her, "And hear me out completely before you judge me." Mirien tried to smile, but failed miserably, bordering on tears though she brushed any trace away, fearing very much where this conversation would lead. "It's all I can rightly ask of you. But if you'd like I can always just go now...You'll not have to see me ever again." She half expected that. Too many people had tossed her aside already, and one still sought to see her dead. "I just very much hope that will not be the case." And so she waited, nearly breathlessly wondering how Sio would respond, a million possibilities, all of them bad rolling through her mind as she waited for a reply.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


A frown creased Siobhan's features as she watched the display and absorbed what Mirien was saying. Siobhan could not be considered the most empathic person or even terribly sociable, though she was trying. Mirien had dropped hints about her past, though never divulging anything. As far as Siobhan understood, she had once been used, treated as a disposable tool and a weapon, though she had revealed little beyond that and never clarified.


Given the fact that she rightly had a reputation for being like a kath hound on a trail, Siobhan had been unusually patient with her. But clearly now was the time to face the music. Things left unsaid had so often come forth later to bite her in the butt. Deep down part of her was uncertain about what truths might be revealed and whether it would change everything. She did not want it to result in Mirien leaving. However, she could not take risks - any risks - with Tegaea's safety if Mirien were to come with her. That was the overriding imperative. It began with [member="Tegaea Alcori"] and ended with her. Always.


"It's ok. Got a reputation for being hasty and judgemental, guess it's sort of true, but I'll listen, dear," she spoke softly, raising her hand to stroke across Mirien's cheek. "You know I don'te bite." She seemed at a bit of a loss of what to say. Instead her hand ran down and across Mirien's back, soothingly stroking over and massaging it. After all, it was clear that the brunette was carrying lots of tension and Siobhan had, how shall we put it, very nimble fingers. Wifey always appreciated their gentle ministrations after a stressful day at work.


"I don't want you to go. So if you're ready to talk...I'm ready to listen," she added, tone as reassuring as Siobhan could make it. With that she walked over and sat down on the chair opposite Mirien, one leg crossing over the other, with Siobhan smoothing her skirt a bit. Through the Force she called a glass into her grasp and likewise poured herself a martini. It was not her usual poison, but it sounded like a good idea right about now!

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien took in a deep sigh of relief to just hear that Siobhan would listen to her, give her the chance to explain it. "I don't want to leave either, I really don't." Closing her eyes for a moment, she just took in the feelings of Sio's hands upon her back, trying to allow herself to relax. Though that was no easy task, she'd never told anyone outside Atrisia of what she was, or did. That was how spies, Inquisitors ended up dead.

Taking her time, Mirien was searching where to start. Where did one begin with a life like hers? After a few moments, her own shoulders drooped slightly, only a tiny bit more relaxed. "I told you how I lost my memories, the fall..." She sighed heavily, "I woke in a hospital some days later, gravely injured, surrounded by cruel and dark people." Pausing a moment, she rubbed at her own temples trying to sooth her frayed nerves, "I didn't know who they were, frell I didn't even know my own name."

With both elbows now on the table, she leaned forward a bit further, resting her head in her hands. "It was only when I was taken before some Admiral, that things started to get clearer. They were the Atrisian Empire, and I ... frankly was a criminal who had committed a capital offense." Mirien still wasn't fully aware of her serial killing days on Coruscant and that was unlikely to show up anytime soon. Just a single finger print to tie her to that mess.

Her brow knitted together with worry as she looked over to Siobhan, "I wasn't given much option. Because I retained no memories of my former self, and therefore wasn't her any more, the Admiral thought it unfair for me to die under those circumstances, his adviser not so much. I was presented two options. The first, work for them indefinitely." Slowly she rubbed at her eyes, hating the story, hating how what she could remember of her life started so poorly. "The second option was to be executed without even knowing my own name, or what I'd even done to end up in that situation."

What'd she have given for a more normal mundane life. The dangerous one she led, right them didn't seem all it was cracked up to be. "They turned me into a spy, and a cold blooded killer for a sort of secret police to watch over Atrisian Space, for threats both external and internal. My job to dispatch with them before they became true threats." She sighed heavily, "I can't say I was ever a good person, still damn sure I'm not. I've got too much to make up for, and far too many regrets of things I've done."

Sighing again, nervously running her fingers through her hair, she glanced only briefly to Sio, not liking this honesty thing in the least. All of it made her feel too vulnerable, too open, and that made her more than uncomfortable. "Rose to damn near the top of their Intel field, ran missions all across the galaxy, in damn near every territory. All in the name of Intel and safety." It was mostly the truth, at least as close as Mirien was going to get to it today. Right now, she could barely stomach divulging this, much less the other part of her job.

Finally she laid her hands in her lap, staring at her fingernails, not wanting to look at Siobhan, "There was a time, even you were of interest to the Empire, a dossier was formed and came across my desk some time ago. Nothing ever done with it, as you were to be honored for your help when the Fringe brought war to Atrisia."

Leaning up, she wiped at the traces of tears forming in her eyes, "Sad thing is, I'm not even sure who I am. I'm not sure me is still here buried under years of training, and mask upon mask of toss away identities." Taking her own glass, she quickly drank most of it before sitting it back down on the table, "End of the day, I have a name. Which may not even be real, and a few feelings of the familiar, but I still don't know me."

One last final sigh, she'd done that far too much in the last few minutes, "And as to how I came to be a homeless, washed up nobody? After the Emperor died tragically, his cousin took the throne, Madeline." She growled the name, wishing very much she could kill the woman here and now. "Two things happened when she came to power. One, she blamed me very much for her cloned son's death, as if I could have saved him somehow. I'm not a goddess, I can't be everywhere. And secondly still grieving over the loss of her son, and her cousin, all I can say is in a fit of madness decided all force users would be purged from the system." Mirien glared coldly at her drink for the moment, quite angry. "I got given a head start, for some sick twisted little game she wishes to play." Her tone grew notably colder, "All those I loved, cared for, gone!" At that the glass shattered, startling Mirien a fair bit.

Even now, she didn't have complete control over her powers. "Sorry, I'm sorry." She said quickly as she stood up taking a cloth napkin to try and clean some of the mess away.

After a moment or two of frantically trying to clean up the shattered glass, and vodka still pooled on the table, Mirien gave up. The tears she'd kept back for so long finally fell like a torrent. "I'm sorry, truly. But this is me, whatever that means. My life is insane, frightening and complicated. That's where I am." Putting the napkin aside, she reached up pushing aside her own tears as she straightened out her clothing. "It's a life on the run with no promise that it will ever be any different... Though I guess it's better than being a tool for the Empire, an assassin at their beckon call."

Figuring all she had spoken, would not be well taken, she ran her hands through her hair one last time, trying to calm herself down. "Look, I really will understand if you don't want a thing to do with me... If you want me gone, it's really okay. I know I'm not the safest choice in women." She said softly, now finally looking back at Siobhan as she stood somewhere near the center of the room unsure of what she should do or where she should go. As much as she wanted to stay, there was an equal part of her that logically thought it best for her to leave, to keep other's out of her troubled affairs, for their own safety.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


And so the truth came. Well, not the entire truth, but close enough. Probably a good deal more than Siobhan had expected. Was it anything near to what she had expected? She kept her attention on Mirien throughout as she opened herself, with Siobhan downing her martini. She could sense just how difficult this was for Mirien.


"Mirien...I'm sorry." She did not have the power to calm her through the Force or send any empathic feelings like that, but she kept up her hopefully reassuring ministrations by having invisible fingers run over her back. Nothing particularly intrusive, just a gentle massage to hopefully help her through this. Her heart went out to her as she spoke about awaking without knowing even her name, being given an option to serve or die. It certainly did not improve Siobhan's opinion of the Atrisian Empire in general.


At the mention of herself having been considered of interest her ministrations unconsciously stopped and her jaw tightened. "Of interest? For what? As a rogue forcer who needs to be taken out by the Empire? Was anything on Tegs in it? Was she considered 'of interest' as well?" her voice had grown colder, icier in quality before she managed to control herself and regain a measure of calm, though the cold fury she could manifest when provoked shined through. During the brief moment the entire table seemed to shake as if struck by tremors before she calmed down.


"I'm sorry, carry on, please," she spoke, in a softer tone. What anger she might have felt died at the words that came next as Mirien detailed how she had been betrayed by those she had served. From a certain point of view one could perhaps have argued that she had got her comeuppance in an act of poetic irony, having once been the secret police chief. However, Siobhan was not a moral or even particularly good person by any stretch of the imagination. The name Madeline - Kahoshi now that Sio recalled the name - rang a bell or two. It had come up in one of Moira's seemingly endless memos as that of a brilliant scientist and cousin of the Atrisian Emperor who should be watched and cultivated. What had the memo been about again? Flesh-eating viruses or experiments to control Reavers. Something like that.



She winced slightly as the glass was shattered by an outburst of Mirien's anger, an uncontrolled explosion of power. "It's ok, it's ok. Mirien...I'm not angry. You've done nothing wrong. Not to me, not to anyone I care about. Please don't go," the words quickly shot out of her mouth like a salvoe fired from a repeater. "I've done...many things I'm not proud of, many bad things...as well. Blood I can't wash off my hands. And I'm not exactly a safe choice as a friend either," she sighed and then abruptly got up and walked over to the brunette.



She could imagine what deeds Mirien might have perpetrated as an agent of the Imperials. After all, she had always figured Moira would have been an ideal Moff type. A part of her, a very paranoid one, was tempted to suspect that this might be all a ploy. The Atrisians were part of Fringe now, which was full of Sith in leading positions, even those affiliated with the One Sith. Was this all just another ploy to gain her sympathy and entice her to let down her guard? Involuntarily flashes of Kaelin appeared in her mind. She took a deep breath as she banished the gruesome image from her mind. Mirien was either the best actress she had ever known or she was speaking the truth. Perhaps Siobhan was being naive, but she could not see the broken woman as trying to deceive her.



So without a word she pulled Mirien into a hug. The embrace was loose enough so that the woman should be able to escape if she wanted, but the point was made and Siobhan moved to wipe the tears away from Mirien's face. "I'm sorry for what you endured...being used and betrayed like that. I wish I could say something better. If you want to go...I'll let you....but I don't want you to. I've spent a long time in my life without a home, without people I was sure I could trust, always on the run. But you don't have to run from me."

 

[Mirien Valdier]

She cringed noticeably when Siobhan ceased her comforting gesture. Ducking her head down, she only waited for the rage to end, for there was little she could say to make it better. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She spoke softly, almost whispered. "I ..." She bit at her lip, and looked back to the visibly angry woman across from her, "I couldn't ... couldn't tell you everything else, and not tell you that." Still speaking ever so softly, fearful truly of what Sio could do. "It wouldn't be right." As the storm passed, Miri quite noticeably relaxed, "I may still have a copy of the file on my ship, and being honest still, Tegs is mentioned but never as a person of interest, detailed as your wife but little more." Mirien could only sigh, feeling terribly about that fact.

"Not that it makes it any better but there was never an option in what I did, none." Carefully she lifted her shirt, exposing only her low back and with it, a thin long scar running along her spine. Her voice gained a bitter undercurrent as she started to speak again. "Beneath that scar, used to be a tracker, a disabling device as well as a kill switch all rolled into one. To say they were not trusting, just a tiny understatement."

At that point she just stopped bothering to attempt to dry her tears, knowing full well they were not going to stop for some time. "What choice is there, when there is always a blaster held to your head?" Slowly she shook her head, hatred growing rapidly for that side of herself, "You just do what you're told to get through that day. Then in the morning, you do it all over again, hoping you'll still be alive at the end of it."

Mirien herself now a mess of tears and a few too many drinks. "All these years, there was only ever one person who made that hell I lived in worth it, worth enduring , and even that they are gone. It's just lonely," The former ice queen finally admitted. Granted it always had been lonely in the Inquisition, but at least there were others like her there, something of a little sick and twisted family.
Somehow though, Siobhan at her side, made her feel just a little less alone in the galaxy. "I don't want to leave," Almost whispered as Siobhan pulled her into a hug, Mirien quickly pulled the woman even closer to her, her hands clutching onto Siobhan's clothing, as if hanging on for dear life. "Since this started, you're about the only thing that has made sense in my life. The only thing good and kind in it. Like frell if I'm going to run away from that." Resting her head upon Siobhan's shoulder she tried her best to calm herself, "From you."

Giving Siobhan a gentle squeeze, she finally released her and stepped back to the bed, taking a seat there. "Only thing I want in life now, is to somehow someway find a way back to who I was and maybe if I'm lucky not be alone along the way." Glancing up to the brunette, one thought did cross her mind, "I promise you though, I won't hide things from you anymore. I can't do that. That's what she would do, and I don't want to be her anymore."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


Siobhan had softened visibly as she heard those words. "She's far more than my wife. She's my strength, my compass. She gave me a purpose," she said extremely mushily but sincerely. For all her faults and they were legion, Siobhan was devoted, beyond reason sometimes perhaps.



She beheld the thing long scar that ran along Mirien's spine. However, she was not repulsed by the sight and rather gently traced a delicately manicured finger down it. "That's just...sick. How could they be that obsessed with control and preach about bringing law and peace? Sounds like the sort of people Skaldi would love." Oh, if only Siobhan knew! She was darkly reminded of how a mad Rakatan scientist had engineered Eyrecae to be his perfect supersoldier, while denying her the right to have a life of her own and subjecting her to brutal experiments. Naturally he had cloaked that with righteous rhetoric about how it was for hers and the elves' own good. A torrent of tears had been unleashed and though Mirien had stopped bothering trying to dry them Siobhan gently cupped her cheek to caress it, trying to offer her some comfort at least. She had never been particularly eloquent or good with words, but physical closeness could perhaps convey what she was unsure of how to directly say.



She was a bit taken aback as Mirien suddenly clung to her body as if holding to dear life. Likewise she felt the sheer vehemence coming from her words. Nonetheless she held on to the woman, soothingly stroking her hair as she rested her head upon her shoulder. Siobhan might not know Mirien's exact skill set but she could feel the power she had at her command, her strength in the Force, yet in this moment she appeared broken and vulnerable, completely open to her. "Mirien..."



She composed herself as Mirien stepped back to the bed and sat down. On a sidenote this writer is of the belief that this thread is totally shippy and that there has to be a Sio/Miri fan site out there. Morethanbarbuddies might have a rival now!


"I've only known you for, well, a really short while, but I like to think you're a friend. Someone I want to keep around," she spoke before she likewise moved over. She planted a chaste kiss on Mirien's forehead and the settled down on the bed alongside her, loosely wrapping an arm around the former spy's shoulder. "I can't wave a magic wand and give you your memories back. But I can help you make a new life. Somewhere away from the jackboot squad. Come with me to Kaeshana. You can meet Tegs, start over."

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien nodded slowly, "I understand." Still speaking quietly through tears, and the occasional sniffle as she was starting to settle down. "I had someone like that, but the Empress is to blame for why they are gone." A shrug of her shoulders was all she could offer further, not wanting to get into it anymore than she had to. Some things were still too painful.

A small wince came, as Sio ran her finger along the scar. "It's still a little tender." Only having been removed a short time ago, it was still terribly sensitive.

"Tell me about it." Frowning, she reached back to rub at the scar, soothe it's ache and tugged down her shirt to cover it once more. "They were not trusting of criminals, or force users for that matter.... Being both, I suppose they thought extraordinary measures were needed to made sure I didn't place a toe out of line." The name gave her pause, "Skaldi? You don't happen to mean Moira Skaldi?" She asked, a bit surprised to hear that name come up. "Evil monster that thing is.." She mumbled beneath her breath, but said little else for the time being.

The tears seemed to finally be slowing, but the pain in her heart would not disappear so easily. For so long, she'd been who she had to be to survive, a being she did not like in the least, and now... Now there were so many years lost, great moments gone, and all she could do was hope to catch up.

After the kiss, Mirien just stared off into the distance for a while, allowing herself to be lost in thought for a moment. Soon enough she snapped out of it, and scooted closer to her new-found friend. "It may be a short while, just a flash in time but you showed me I could be human again, normal as if ever that could be possible. And, friend is definitely a good place to start." Even knowing the contents of the file Moira had given her, it didn't change her mind in the least. If anything that single file only proved to the former Inquisitor, that they just might very well be kindred spirits of a sort.

Reaching up she gently entangled her fingers with Siobhan's at her shoulder. The battle hardened woman did have a fair point, one she at least in some respect had to admit there was a spark of truth in. There was no magic wand to get back her memories. Nothing she could do would change that simple fact. All she could do was follow her mind, and heart and hope that they both might lead her back to those precious memories.

"Only if you are absolutely sure it'd be alright. I'd hate to be a burden on you or your wife."One part of her worried of rejection and possible consequences, the other eager for the opportunity that so few ever received.

It was a simple chance to begin her life again, without all the strings that came with everyone knowing who she used to be. The excitement started to grow ever so subtly in her voice, "Just the chance to start over, I'd be forever in your debt, Siobhan. Not many people get a second chance in life. Certainly not people like me. It's a chance to start fresh, be who I wish to be this time, and I'd be a right fool to not take you up it." With a sniffle, still working through the last of the tears, she managed a smile, "Plus I'd get to meet that beautiful wife of yours who got you to settle down." Lifting her free hand, she brushed away the remaining tears from her cheeks, and sheepishly looked to Sio, "That is, if she'll tolerate a washed up old spy coming to visit for a while. So if you are certain it won't be an issue, I'd really like to come with you."

Giving one last tight hug to Siobhan, pulling away, Mirien smiled with only tear stains remaining on her fair skin. "Whenever you want to go, to introduce me to her, just say the word. It's not like I've got anywhere else to be, and right now I'd just really like to be with you, and not worry about anything else for a while. I think... that is what my heart really needs right now. Time to put all this fuss behind me and for a change, just be able to enjoy life in peace, and quiet with people who I know I can trust." She gave a small wink, "And who knows, maybe a few games under the sheets and I don't know about you but I'd be the happiest woman in the galaxy."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"The one and only. Evil monster's an understatement. queen used to run intel for me back at OP. Always had the feeling she was going to gas the room when I had a meeting with her. How'd you know her?" Siobhan asked, tone of voice showing her very strong distaste for the terminatrix. She had lost track of Moira after the dissolution of the Rebel Alliance following the Sith Empire's fall. Deep in the back of her mind she had the feeling that she really should have destroyed her back then and that she would come to regret not having done so.



As Mirien gently entangled her fingers with Siobhan's at her shoulder she gently patted her hand. It was true Siobhan could not magically return her memories. She could understand the woman's yearning to find out who she had once been, even though she might not like what she saw. But then such considerations would not have stopped Siobhan if she were in her place.


"Look, Miri, stop putting yourself down. I'm not having that," she said, leaning into the embrace before Mirien pulled away. "If I thought you coming would be a bother I wouldn't have offered. I'm not exactly, well, subtle when it comes to what I think of people. I imagine it'll take some adjustment for you. Kaeshana's very different from Atrisia, especially in how it treats force-users. Eldorai are, well, xenophobic, but the Queen's different and a good friend of mine. Tegs is very commanding, and she's the kindest woman I've ever known. You can do what you'e good at without psychotic control maniacs treating you like a tool. Besides, Firemane's always looking for hot chicks with superpowers."


Now that was a convincing argument!"I definitely wouldn't say no to some fun games between the sheets. Wifey might join in!" at that she batted her delicate eyelashes at Mirien. There was no truth to the rumours that Firemane was just a front for a certain, ahem, Order. None at all. Well, at times it did resemble a lesbian Sacred Band. Hopefully it would not end up suffering a Charonea. "My business here is pretty much concluded. Too much time spent around snooty Alderaanian nobles and I get the urge to punch them. So we can go unless there's something. Not tonight though. You need a good sleep. I can order roomservice if you want."



There was a pause before she spoke again. "Thank you for telling me, Miri. I know this...can't have been easy for you."

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien scratched her head for a moment, not entirely sure the best way to answer that particular question. "Uh, ..." She paused, "Well, I met her first when she was with Omega Pyre." Honesty, no more hiding. Trying to remind herself, that not everything had to be kept secret, and in separate little boxes within two very different lives she used lead. "Worked with her on a mission on Csilla, confirming a hunch I had that she wasn't exactly human. Later on down the road, I used her for intelligence ..." Cringing just a little, not wanting to say it, "On you."

"I can only justify it by saying it was my job to know. To assess such things." Managing to smile a little to Siobhan, trying to sugar coat it a little, though it was very much based in fact. "And, you do have to admit, you're one hell of a force user. One that any government which fears forcers, would at the very least want to keep tabs at." She sighed softly, "She and I parted ways not so long ago, queen was the reason the purge of force users happened. Between Moira, and Madeline, the two of them had that wrapped up in a neat little package. Should've killed them both then and there." Her life might have ended up so much better, or perhaps worse for the attempt to try. There were still a few demons out there left from her past. Maybe wishful thinking on her part to think they'd go away on their own.

As hard as she was on herself, perhaps it wasn't for the right reasons. "I'll try my best not to. I'm just not pleased with myself, my actions or life." Only so much of her problems had been brought about by her own hand. "But it might be a little my fault, I could have done something sooner to try and get out..." Shaking her head, she sighed, "But could haves, would haves, should haves don't change a damn thing. All I can do is change the here and now, and hope it all works for the best."

She gave a small shrug, "Honestly, I think I can handle that. Even if it may take some time, it's still won't ever be worse than Atrisia was. And frankly, I think I could do with the change in scenery, forget a few things for a while. Might actually help after all."

Leaving quickly, only seemed right to Mirien. A part of her wanting very much to leave the planet behind, and shake the feelings of familiarity that clung to her spirit. The other wanting to know just why she felt such things, still not knowing in the least where to even start to sort that out. But the lighthearted reply, brought a small giggle from Mirien. "I didn't think you'd protest much." Grinning brightly for a moment. "As for nobles..." Her nose wrinkled a bit at the mention of the highborn. "I could live if I never had to see another Alderaan snoot again but somehow I don't believe the galaxy could be so kind to deliver me that blessing."

Looking directly to Siobhan, her smile fading away as she did. "No, it wasn't easy. Believe me when I say I didn't want to say a word, thinking that life would be better off never having to tell anyone what I'd done, what I was, and in part still am. I just knew, knew that I couldn't keep waking every morning, putting on the same mask, lying to every person I met and hiding who I really was. That's one thing I will not put up with, or live with again. And it may take time for me to figure out everything, to break those habits that kept me alive for so long." As quickly as the happiness had faded, it was soon replaced with a brighter hope for what might be. "I just hope you'll be as understanding as you've been today, if I screw up somewhere along the way."


[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


A frown creased Siobhan's features as she absorbed Mirien's words. "And people say the easiest way to gain intel on me is to get into my pants. 'Open legs policy'. Would've been more fun than to listen to the metal queen. She can't stop yammering. Heard about Csilla. Sent her there to investigate some rumours about big spiders," she muttered. Now that she thought about it she recalled Moira's report mentioning an Imperial forcer who matched Mirien.


She pushed that thought aside as she looked at Mirien. "Not surprised about Moira being involved in a purge like that. Once suggested I kill one third of my staff to motivate the rest. But since when is she that important? Last I knew she was a kill-bot for hire. Haven't see her since TRA disbanded."



In response to Mirien's shoulder a good squeeze in response to her following statements. "On the plus side, the elves are big on forcers, though I think they overdo it at times, and women are in charge as the natural order says it should be instead of this patriarchal crap." Unlike her wife Siobhan was still very sexist and so the Eldorai having a matriarchy was very much to her liking. Mirien's comment about snooty nobles made her laugh. "I am a Countess now, you know!"



With a lazy gesture she called the menu to her and passed it over to Mirien. "I screw up plenty. Not gonna cast you out if you do. I just want you to be honest....with Tegs and me. Pick what - who - you want and I'll order. I hear room service is splendid here." Room service indeed! Well, this was Siobhan. She had exquisite tastes and was very demanding.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

She gave a small nod, "Big frakking spiders is still the understatement of the universe in my book after that affair." An involuntary shudder followed, "There is no shoe big enough to squash them with." Another shudder shook her, as she tried to brush away the thoughts. "Still have nightmares about those things." The frown didn't go unmissed, Mirien had expected at least that much. "I suppose that is quite fair. Though not entirely something I knew upfront." Shaking her head, she chuckled a little bit, "And I was probably a little too shy to discover that on my own." Not quite the whole truth, "Okay... maybe shy isn't the word. More of unsure of my ability and skill to go toe to toe against you."

A sigh followed, "Unlike you, I don't remember ever training really to use the force with rare exception, it's instinct, or perhaps just muscle memory. Either way, my body and mind somehow pick up where I don't remember.Sometimes it works... Others," Glancing back to the table, "The glass, a small example of ... for lack of a better word, untrained skills. Things happen when I'm scared, frightened, .... angry or hurt. Never intentional or planned, there is just some part of me, who I am or was that I don't have entirely control over. So... there is that."

Her attention turned back to Siobhan, "Somehow I shouldn't be surprised, but still I didn't ever believe my government would go through with such a move. I suppose though, the implant in my back should have been a little tiny clue on that one."

Lifting a brow, perking up at the words she was hearing. "Really now? I think I shall rather like that part of things." Even she had her limits with the traditional patriachal societies.

Mirien stopped for a moment, Oops... A bit looking like a deer in the headlights as she started to seek the words to backpedal over what she'd just said,"I ... Um... er... Well...." Biting her lip, she silenced herself for a moment, if only to contemplate the next statement out of her mouth. "Well, on the plus side of that whole nobility thing you have going on there, you might just be the only one who doesn't make me want to strangle the life out of them within sixty seconds or less." Nope, no....So. Not. Better! Just making that worse! "Um.... you know, I'm just ... gonna ... be .... quiet now. ... Before I get myself into more trouble." Her cheeks flushed red, as she looked down suddenly more interested in her hands in her lap than anything else in the room. Probably an ironic moment if only she'd known she was once upon a time nobility herself. But alas there were some things that were better off left unknown.

Taking the menu, her cheeks still a lovely shade of red, with little sign of fading anytime soon. "I suppose I can try my best to be honest with you both. I can't promise that my past won't come back to haunt me at some point. I'm sure it will, especially when I'm not ready to let it go and stop digging. I guess it would be only fair to share what I find of me, well the girl I once was."

Her own voice starting to irritate her, she paused, realizing maybe she was just being silly. "Everything, I find I'll let you both know when I do. No matter what. My past can't be that terrible." If only she knew, how much her own words might haunt her. "But, there is one thing that I need time on... If you can manage it." She stopped again, letting silence fall between them.

Mirien felt bad for not saying it when she had the chance, but knew too well this was one thing she wasn't prepared to share, yet. "I'm just, not ready. I ... I'm ... I.. just... Stumbling a bit for words, "Ashamed of ... it." Able to at least put together one thought on the matter. "In time I know I'll be able. Just not tonight." With some luck she might get a, get out of jail for free one on that particular subject, for a time.

Finally actually looking down to the menu she opened it up slowly and perused the options available. "You know there is going to be a point where I keep asking if this is all a dream. Because it all seems far too good to be my life. Surely I am dreaming?" Slowly Miri scooted over to share what she was looking at with Siobhan. After a moment or two, she pointed to the small photograph, a particularly beautiful lavender colored Twi'Lek. "Morgra looks quite tantalizing if I must say so myself." Her eyes drifted up to Sio, "What do you think?"


[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"You did very well last night," Siobhan said cornily, perhaps deliberately misinterpreting that this was not the sort of performance Mirien was referring to! A hand moved down to touch Mirien's thigh and stroke over it. As might have become apparent Siobhan had a tendency to be rather touchey-feely, with pretty women she liked at least!



"Well, I'm not the best teacher in the world, but I could help you with training once we get to Kaeshana if you like. No good with a lightsabre but I know a couple things about tearing things apart with my mind," she said honestly. Well, a couple things was probably a bit of an understatement.



As for Mirien's reaction to her being nobility it was just...priceless. From Sio's perspective it was terribly cute to see the brunette so flustered and like a dear caught in a headlight. So when she heard her speak and saw her cheeks turn an shade of crimson Siobhan just burst out into laughter. "You're so adoable right now, you know that?" she managed to get out after she had finally stopped laughing. "I'm disappointed about that not being in the file. Countess now actually. Still feel like punching most nobles I meet, but I think Tegs and I earned the title! Got ennobled by the Eldorai Queen. She's a good friend." Unfortunately she also was forbidden fruit now since she had ascended the throne!



However, she turned serious as she absorbed the words that followed, the moment of levity vanishing. Suspicion crept up inside her, about just what Mirien was hiding. Then she gave the woman's knee a good squeeze. "Miri, it's ok. You know my record...so you know I've done...bad things. Long as you're loyal and it doesn't affect your duties I don't care. You'll get time," she said softly, turning her head side slightly and leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on the woman's cheek. "If there's any info you have on Skaldi, I'd appreciate. But none of this has to be tonight."



Serious talk done with for now she looked down at the menu, eyes travelling over the exquisite selection in lusty appraisal before she settled on the gorgeous lavender coloured Twi'lek Mirien had pointed out to her. She licked her lips at the sight. "She's beautiful and has some...nice skills," she pointed at the list. There was that, ahem, thing she did with her tongue and her headtails. "I like lekku. She's a good choice. This one looks nice as well." A finger travelled up to point at a very attractive redhead with mischievous green eyes and with more curves than a highway called Leliana.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

The crimson tint had almost faded completely until Siobhan spoke of the previous night's affair. A small giggle escaped her lips, as she leaned over to nuzzle her new found friend's cheek. "As did you."

"Actually, I'd really like that. I'd feel safer having more control over the abilities I have." A soft sigh followed, "I'd rather not break anything else with another emotional outburst." Gently with one hand she brushed aside Sio's hair to give a soft kiss upon the nape of her neck. "And saber's is not what concerns me.That, my muscles seem to remember quite well on their own. So that isn't a worry. I'd be grateful for any guidance."

Mirien couldn't help but laugh with Siobhan, trying to mask some of her embarrassment. "You know, I about had a heart attack, thinking I'd overstepped my bounds." She managed as some of the redness faded. "Countess, I think I like that."

Giving a brief pause Mirien nodded slowly, "Loyalty is not something I take lightly. I'll always protect those I care for regardless of personal consequences." It certainly wasn't something she'd have openly admitted before now.

Using her elbow, she playfully nudged Kerrigan, "Which just very well mean you are stuck with me through thick and thin." Not so long ago, she might not have said the same of loyalty and others. Knowing full well attachments, relationships, loyalty were all extremely dangerous in her former line of work. They were the things that could get her very easily killed.

With the mood shifting to more pleasurable ventures, she glanced down to the menu once more, "Quite talented, I have to admit." Her eyes followed to the redhead, just beaming as she looked to her extensive list of skills. "Mmm, even better. I can't say I've ever been with a redhead, and one as talented as she....? Definitely have to have her join in on the fun."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Darth Libertas]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


Our two ladies did not have to long before room service arrived. This came in the form of two young women wearing very low-cut dresses. A dazzling lavender Twi'lek, whose dress showed a tremendous amount of cleavage, immediately gravitated to Siobhan and after giving her a quick kiss knelt before her as Siobhan spread out her feet. She really liked it when they got worshipped. Naturally her cute little toenails had gotten a perfect pedicure!


Mirien would be attended to by a gorgeous redhead. Mischievous green eyes, more curves than a scenic highway and with a dazzling smile upon her lips. "I hope you enjoy my services, my lady," she purred in a demure, seductive tone as she approached the former Grand Inquisitor. There was nothing to make one believe that she was anything but an courtesan employed by the hotel. Her presence in the Force, her signature that is, was suppressed and thus her power was not traceable.


Do you enjoy me like this, mother? I heard you like redheads. You know...I really thought about making our reunion a bit different. I have a room in the building opposite. There's a Shadow Rifle hidden. I hear the IIB loved those. Invisible laser beam, almost completely untraceable. Then there's poison. I do still have the capsule with me. Could just drop a bit in your glass. On second thought, you could probably resist that. Then there's explosives. Messy, but terrorist attacks are so frequent these days, she thought, as she lovingly stroked across Mirien's cheek.


So...you're hanging out with her now. Funny, isn't she an 'unsanctioned forcer'? But then I guess the old rules are dead, aren't they? Since the emperor got blown into tiny bits - not shedding any tears about that - and Madeline decided a little genocide was in order. But then you got scots free. Want to know about what went down inside the camps?


Beatings, electrocution, hallucinations induced by drugs. Tests...terrible tests. She would not speak about the nightmares she still had. Or of the flashes and images that coursed through her mind at certain...triggers. Another hand snaked down to affectionately stroke over Mirien's back, gently massaging and stroking over it. "You carry so much tension. Let me help you feel better." You could have had me anytime you wanted. I could have been anyone for you. Then she pressed her lips against Mirien's mouth and kissed her deeply.


What really frustrates me...I still would.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien's gaze flickered to Siobhan with the two gorgeous women in the room, all for their pleasure. Never had she ever personally had such services rendered. Courtesans always were good at getting a person's guard down, among other things. The thought of hiring one had honestly never truly crossed Mirien's mind before tonight.

Her own attentions soon shifted away from fleeting thoughts of worry, and paranoia, back to the lovely redhead before her. Though oddly, nerves were creeping in on the brunette. A nervous sigh came and went. "I'm sure I will." She said softly with a faint smile upon her lips.

Unaware of who really was standing behind her, glanced back over her shoulder for a moment before she finally settled into the foreign circumstances. The soothing hands upon her back soon brought a contented smile from the former Grand Inquisitor. Returning the kiss, Mirien pulled lightly at Leliana's lip. Reaching up, she slowly ran a hand slowly through the fiery hair. The other, gently wrapping around the woman to trace small circles along along her spine.


[member="Naamah Aesham"]

 

[Darth Libertas]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"Good. I am here for your...needs," 'Leliana' purred softly, a soft moan escaping her throat as Mirien pulled at her lip and ran a hand through her fiery mane. She arched into the touch as her fingers traced small circles across her spine.


"You two are so cute together," Siobhan felt like quipping. The beautiful Twi'lek girl was...thoroughly worshipping Siobhan's feet and kissing her way up her leg, bringing her lekku into play. Siobhan leaned forward and pressed her lips against Mirien's, lovingly kissing her before doing the same to 'Leliana'. "You're right...her taste is...exquisite," she said lustily.


Have I already mentioned that I don't like her? And so as the carnival of pleasure was joined the scene suddenly faded from our view as a black curtain descended from out of nowhere and obscured what might have happened between the ladies from sight. Never mind the fact that it was all safe, sane and consensual, but the kiddies must be protected. Suffice to say that Naamah did not try out any of her wild schemes of murder and much fun was had before the sun rose again.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien stirred only slightly as the sun started to peak through the curtains of their room. Her own mind drifting through dreams, so far away from the pleasures of the night before.

Inhaling sharply, Miri awoke with a start, not entirely what she'd expected from such a strange dream. Still entangled with the others, quietly she slipped from bed hoping not to disturb anyone as she crossed the floor. Grabbing a robe, she slipped it on as she moved to the window. Ever so gently she parted the curtain to peer out on the brand new day, near emotionless watching the people as they passed. A bit pensive in mood as her thoughts drifted away, pondering upon the dream.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]

"It's not a dream, hun. It's very real. If you have trouble believing...I can remind you," Siobhan spoke softly as she suddenly appeared behind Mirien, having thrown on a very flimsy robe. Mainly because kiddies may be reading this, since the Countess was frankly a nympho. From behind she wrapped her arms around Mirien, her warm body pressing against hers.


Well, her body and her, ahem, assets! She rested her head on Mirien's shoulder and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. "It's all very real, darlin'. You're not gonna suddenly wake up and find yourself in some torture dungeon. Welcome to your new life." Her words were warm and gentle, as difficult as it probably was to imagine the Butcher of Roche being like that. The courtesans had long left and so the two ladies were alone.