Stay Awake

[Felicity Mason]

Leaving home wasn't as hard as the little Princess thought it would be. She missed her family already, of course, and her friends, but there was way too much to learn and explore to keep dwelling on it. She'd cried a little on the way to Ession, only a little though, and she was quickly over it. She was young. She could bounce back from almost anything.

Felicity had so far adjusted fairly well to life here. It was simpler. A bit like when she ran away to Coruscant. Safer though, but less comforts. She hadn't been allowed to bring her credit card, or, well, much of anything. That was hard to get used to. She'd grown accustomed to Palace life. Even on Imerria, she still had a large bedroom with plenty to entertain her. She had pretty dresses, and jewels, and a droid to take care of her. Here, she was practically on her own.

The young Jedi hopeful sat in a large circular chamber, waiting. She was told to wait here. Her training would start today. She was so nervous. Daddy had once hoped to teach her the basics himself. Now she was learning from another. She wondered how Daddy felt about that. She remembered the look on his face the day she left home. He and mom were afraid for her.
Why?

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

[Placeholder 0123]

Felicity was oddly amiable to Graxin's wants. The girl had proven to be largely independent in running away from hole. Her brother had pinned it on the oppressive nature of their parents--though he loved their mother dearly-- but it seemed to be for an entirely different reason now. Rather than a teenage urge to leave, it was the will of the force. Felicity was to become one of the first Jedi trained within the New Jedi Order, the first of a generation that would shape the galaxy for years to come.

He had gifted her with a small apartment down the hall from his own quarters. She was nowhere near ready to truly live on her own away from home, but a bit of distance would do the girl good. She wouldn't feel fussed over like she had been on Naboo, and Graxin could still keep an eye on her.

Today they would be training. The Master was anxious; he had trained man students, but never family. With luck, this would be no difference. He was dressed in his usual leather robes, the gloves she had gifted him displayed proudly over the fringes of the outer coat.

He offered his sister a smile as he approached. "Good morning. I hope you adjusted to your room well, short stack?"

[member="Felicity Mason"]

 

[Felicity Mason]

Short stack. Her brother must be blind. Sure, she was shorter than him still, but she was tall now! Almost as tall as Mother.She made a face, rising to her feet and giving a stiff bow.

"There's nothing to read in my room," she complained, "And I keep experiencing this awful draft. I think there is a crack between the window somewhere."

She cleared her throat, hands held neatly behind her back as she tried to look as sweet as possible to lesson the annoyance of her words.
"But other than that, it's lovely. Thank you."

She wore the most simple tunic she had ever worn in her life. It itched, annoyed her. Hidden down the front of her tunic, close to her breast was mothers necklace. She'd given it to her during the invasion of Naboo, and now insisted that she keep it. What it was for, Felicity hardly knew. It was just a carved purple crystal, a strange shape with odd curves and ridges. She wished she had asked, but now it was too late. She'd keep it safe, just like Mother wished. At her side, attached to her belt, was the lightsaber Father had gifted her as well. She didn't use it. Not yet. She was smart enough, at least, to know it was no toy.

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

[Placeholder 0123]

Easier than Linori.

Graxin's smile widened as she spoke. He was her master before he was her brother, but it was nice to hear a semblance of approval from the teenager. He clapped her gently on the arm. "We have thousands of books in the Jedi Library. Fiction, reports, stupid stuff, have at it." His hand fell away. "I'm pleased you're alright with the room...but, I didn't ask of you to discuss housing arrangements."

He took a few paces back, and made note of her lightsaber. Graxin knew FA where she had gotten one, perhaps from one of her parents, but it was of no concern. Felicity was a smart girl, she could be trusted to carry it.

The Master abruptly settled on the floor, his legs crossed one over the other. He rested his hands on his knees, and gazed up at the oldest Mason daughter.

"What do you know of the Jedi, and why do you want to be trained Felicity?" He asked with an influx of seriousness--he never called her by her real name, just annoying little monikers.

[member="Felicity Mason"]

 

[Felicity Mason]

First he smiled, then he called her by his first name. Her big brother was confusing her now.

"Well, to be honest, I haven't the slighted clue. Mom told me some stories of when she was a Jedi, but that's really all I know. As for why..."

She trailed off, reaching up to feel the strange gem under her tunic. The why was a little more complicated. She had so many answers. To be stronger? To protect her home? To protect her friends? Her family? To defend herself? To learn to actually control her stupid visions for once in her life so she didn't wake up screaming?

"Do you really need to know why, brother?" she asked, taking a deep breath, "I mean... I just want to, okay? I need to learn."

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

[Placeholder 0123]

He lofted a brow. She wanted knowledge then. A quest for knowledge could be good or ill. It often resulted in the greatest Jedi councelors, and at worse times, powerful Sith Inquisitors. Still, it was no reason to turn Felicity away, not that Graxin would even if she was corrupted in a sense. She was his flesh and blood, and when it came down to it, all he had on this side of the galaxy.

"To becomes a Jedi is to accept responsibility for the lives all around you. I told you it would be difficult, and I didn't lie." He shook his head. "Mom was one of us in her youth. After I was born for a time, too. She served on the Jedi Council, until she realized the corruption of the Republic."

He patted the floor to indicate that she should sit as well. "A Jedi holds all life above his or herself. We allow the force to guide us, and help whoever we can. This is your chance to turn back, shortstack. I won't fault you for it if you think it's the wrong path."

[member="Felicity Mason"]

 

[Felicity Mason]

Mother had been a Jedi. Yes, she knew that. And she knew her Father had at once time allied himself with the sith. His stories were fascinating, more so than her Mothers. His were stories about great adventures, dangers, hidden treasures in temples. He even spoke of how he once ventured into her Mothers mind itself... however that worked. He had described it as sounding so beautiful and terrible.

"How can I know which path is right without first traveling down it?" she asked, sinking to the floor as instructed, "Let me discover for myself."

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

[Placeholder 0123]

That answer was disheartening. It was right to choose your own path , but Graxin knew her father's origin at the very least. She had Sith blood, and he hadn't really thought about it. That meant her father had likely instilled some of his values in her--values that could turn her into something malevolent. Graxin visibly frowned at the thought.

"Choosing your own path is the right way to go about it Felicity." He paused for a moment, giving her a long look. "But should you ever consider it, I will tell you now, I will never train a Sith."

The look in his eyes only served to emphasize his point. He would train Jedi, and even Grays, but users of the Dark Side were a different breed. If he saw hints of a Sith in Felicity later--as he did now-- then there would be no further training.

"But, you are free to all paths."

[member="Felicity Mason"]

 

[Felicity Mason]

Now Felicity was really confused. She just said she was unsure, not that she wanted to sell her soul to the darkside. When had she ever said that? Was he making assumptions about her because of her father? Or was it because of their mother?

"I'm not going to be a Sith. Daddy would hate that. So would mom. It would break their hearts."

He was really suspicious, wasn't he? Didn't he know her? She was Felicity. Just Felicity. His little sister. The weak Force user who sometimes saw pictures in her head. The little Princess of Winds. A little selfish and spoiled. Sheltered, but not evil, certainly.

...I might also be a murderer, she reminded herself darkly.

"What are you afraid I might do, Grax?"

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

[Placeholder 0123]

"I'm afraid of what everyone might do. Your mom's flesh and blood, and you have a gift. Everyone is susceptible to their own vices. Myself included." He replied diplomatically. The Master sighed. He was scrutinizing her as a student, not his sister. She didn't yet understand that.

"I've had Padawans become Sith. Promising souls too. You can never be too careful." The Archlord opted to drop it , and offered a kindly smile.

"You can feel the force, but tell me, have you opened yourself to it yet?"


[member="Felicity Mason"]

 

[Felicity Mason]

He really had no faith in her. His own sister he was treating like she might blow someone up at any moment! She wanted to cry, but she knew how useless that would be. She hadn't had a good cry since after the invasion. She'd really lost it then, tears all over Owains best shirt. She probably ruined it. She never saw him wear it again after that. She'd had small crys since then, little thing. When Glyph broke up with her, when she had to say goodbye to Owain, when she left Naboo. Crying felt good.

"You can feel the force, but tell me, have you opened yourself to it yet?"

"I don't even know what that means," she grumbled, hands closing into a fist, "I can feel it, yeah, but I can't do anything with it. It feels like it just kinda hangs around, too heavy to move. Sometimes it lets me see pictures. Sometimes it's just a feeling of dread. I don't know how I'm supposed to fix it."

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

[Placeholder 0123]

The Force was an alien concept to most sentient creatures. Graxin had scoffed in the face of the Graug Priests when they had tried to explain it to him. The idea that some invisible energy field controlled everything that happened, including your thoughts, feelings, actions, was just too ridiculous at the time. The elder brother had needed proof of its existence, and received it in a violent torrent of flame blacker than the darkest of black hole. His body had been bathed in the disturbing flames, every cell in the then ruined husk that housed his spirit lit aflame by under the judgement of Darth Vulcanus. He had controlled that energy field. He had controlled Graxin. He had controlled everything.

The memory made the Master shiver. It brought a wave of nostalgia that threatened to sweep him up off his feet and carry him away to worlds unlike the mortal plane. Worlds created by his mind and shaped by his thoughts and fears.

It was an issue he had not told anyone about. Graxin had to fight the sensation for a moment, his brow knitting together as he forced back the gut wrenching thoughts. They brought forth a sheer terror that one only felt when their life was in very real danger, a suspense far more tantalizing than anything seen in holo dramas. It was real fear, demanding and visceral, and something Graxin was forced to conquer every other day.

He reigned himself in from the harrowing thoughts, and came to a realization. He was trying to teach Felicity the way he had first been taught. A form full independence paired with the harsh reality that life was a terrible thing. The girl didn't need that, despite her own protests. She was still a little girl to Graxin, scared and in need of some guidance.

Silently, he pushed up to his feet. The sharp amber hues of his eyes settled on her blond head, and he promptly set a gloved hand atop it. "I'll help you through it kiddo." That was the older brother talking, not the Jedi Master. "Think of it like this...the Force is a vast untouched river. That river will eventually run into a limitless sea that you can use to guide you, to help others, to attain a certain peace that most beings only dream of."

He settled down on the floor next to her, his hand sliding down the teenager's cheek to rest on her shoulder. He was here, and he would take care of her. She needed to be reminded of that.

"You're only afraid to dip into it because the water is cold. You're afraid you might catch a chill, and you will at first, but eventually you'll get used to it. The water will warm, and you'll find you want to stay in it rather than get out."





[member="Felicity Mason"]

 

[Felicity Mason]

He was confusing her. First he was her big brother, then he was cold, then he was nice again, then he was harsh, then he was touching he head and reassuring her. Still, she felt more comfortable learning from her brother than from her 'master'. She smiled, nodding in understanding.

"I think I just need time," she replied, "I... can't really be expected to get it right away, you know? Celeste is the one with all the talent. I've always been a little slow with this."

She shrugged, feeling silly. Celeste was a real child prodigy. Makes a big sister feel a bit like a loser, honestly. All she had were these stupid pictures in her head.

"Hey, um, Graxin? Are you going to teach me how to fix my head?"

[member="Graxin Rade"]

 

[Placeholder 0123]

Patience was one of those few virtues Graxin did have. Part of him wanted to push the girl further, to awaken her latent abilities through stress as it had been done to him, but a passing thought told him that wasn't the way. She needed to experience things for the force to come to her, it wasn't something you could just call on without any real practice.

Unless you were lucky, which was a trait that did not seem to run in the Mason line, or maybe it was just Feena's blood. Graxin shrugged.

"That's alright. Take as much time as you need." He replied with a soft smile, reaching over to affectionately pat her on the head. "As for you visions...yes. I'll help you with them as much as I can. Promise."

With that, he reached over to tug her on the arm. "Now, I want you to pack some things, and meet me in the hanger. We're going somewhere, and there's someone I want you to meet."

[member="Felicity Mason"]

 

[Felicity Mason]

The girl tried not to look as confused as she felt, but she knew she'd failed spectacularly. Still, she did not argue. She stood up and without another word, scurried off to do as she was told. She did not have much to pack. A few changes of clothes, her datapad, holodiary...
When she had stuffed it all in a bag, she ran to the hangar to meet with her brother.

[member="Graxin Rade"]