Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Strangers once more

It has been a long time. Seems almost too long. I ran because of my stupid attitude and my idea of letting the child have a better life without me. I went in "search for power" when really I was just running away. I kept going and going. Not turning back when I felt I needed to return. I felt as thought something was wrong. I was already sick and twisted. As well as Lexa after Morna's death and our habits. This was a different feeling. A feeling that I needed to fix. Turning my ship around, I came back the way I left. As fast as possible.

I knew of only one location in which Lexa would return. Hoth.

The cold planet was filled with snow and ice. Blowing around like a mad storm fabricated by some god. Standing in the cold, with nothing but a pair of jeans, boots, t-shirt, leather jacket, and a lightsaber on my hip. Walking up to the hut, the lights were out. Reaching for the handle, I stopped.

What if lexa hated me? Which was very likely. What if she opened her arms up to me? I didn't know what love felt like. Sure I had a crush on a girl what seemed ages ago when I was innocent. But now? after I had killed hundreds if not thousands of people? destroyed the lives of that number ten or hundred fold? I would just have to try. Not for my or for Lexa's sake. Hell, not even for Morna. But for the child that was to be born.

He deserved a life. A life I never had. A life Morna never had. Morna made the mistake of running away and staying there. I wouldn't. I will stay for the child, and hopefully, for Lexa, and finally for myself.

I stood there trying to think of the words I would say to her. To Morna? maybe. I needed to find a way to repent for my sins. Maybe by helping this child, I would do that. Even if I was a Sith, and a creation of the darkness, I wanted this child to live a life of his or her choosing.

Opening the door, I waked in...

[member="Lexa Imura"],
 
Why was she back here again? Honestly, this kind of habit was weak. It was only getting in her way. And yet, Lexa couldn't keep herself from returning. So much had happened in this tiny little shack in the snow. It used to bring her so much sorrow. But the days of shedding tears and uselessly longing were over.

Lexa sat in the dark and the cold. Morna's Holocron sat unactivated in front of her. She siphoned the Darkside energy from it as her meditation deepened. She had no desire to open it. Why would she? So her dead husband could tell her how pretty she was and how going Dark didn't suit her? No. It was better to leave the past in the past.

Her contagiousness was so deeply engrained in her meditation that she didn't even notice a stranger walk through her door.
[member="Vincent Imura"]
 
Stepping in, I could feel the dark side almost explode from the room at me. Much like a hot draft of air from a room. Rushing me all at once. Stepping in, I stepped on some glass. Leaving the door wide open as Lexa sat in the dark room. I could feel the anger radiate from her. Even though I might be killed any second. I shrugged off my jacket. letting the lottek leather slide off my skin. Holding it in my hands for a second, I moved to place the jacket over Lexa's shoulders while the door behind me closed.

Leaving us in a red light that changed slowly to yellow, to green, to blue, and then back to red. I watched for a second letting us be bathed in it's eerie glow. I didn't say a word. Staying in the darkness. I moved to sit in front of the woman. Her stomach having a bump from pregnancy. I crossed my legs and sat down.

Saying only one word over and over in my head. Eventually letting it out for her ears to catch.

"Sorry....."

[member="Lexa Imura"]
 
Lexa sighed, annoyed. Here he was again. Why couldn't spirits take a hint? "Go away. I told you last time that I could no longer tolerate your constant pestering. You're dead, you crossed over, and I am tired of listening to you berate my every movement." Her voice was cold and unfeeling. She didn't open her eyes, but instead continued deeper into her meditation. Nickolas's spirit had grown into quite the nuisance in the past month. Even when she was traveling with Malachite, he was always in the back of her mind, giving her his horrible glares and harsh words. Sometimes it was a welcome source of fuel. Mostly, however, it just gave her unwanted headaches.
[member="Vincent Imura"]
 
Spirit...... she thought I was her imagination.

I lowered my head, defeated. I cold tell that something was up. She resented me. Hated me. I almost wanted to stand up and walk out once more. Only I decided to ask a question. One question that might prove that I am the real me. Though she might kill me if I did.

"If the spirits bother you, then why don't you just push them away?"

I didn't need a long explanation. Maybe she would try to push me, and find that I wouldn't move like the wind. Or maybe she would just sit there, and not believe a word I say. I never knew what went on in this woman's head. But I wanted to be there... not just to help her become darker, but to control it. She was losing control. And to be someone that could destroy the galaxy, You had to control how much you destroyed, or you may ruin the thing you love the most.

[member="Lexa Imura"]
 
That was a new one. Usually it was some half-ass attempt to make her even more angry than she already was. It often worked. But something was different this time. Nickolas sounded closer. More substance than air, as his voice always seemed. Lexa brought herself out of her meditative state, thinking that maybe a walk would do her good. Her eyes opened. And suddenly, she was staring at him. She wasn't gawking. She wasn't crying. She wasn't smiling. She didn't even looked surprised, though on the inside she was. Instead, she was glaring. Her brown eyes looked as black and as predatory as a shark's.
[member="Vincent Imura"]
 
Some movement here and there from her. Enough to see the jacket I had put on her slide off one of her shoulders. Her eyes. A mix of gold and red flowing like the tongues of a flame. Aimed directly for me. I know that she is angry. She didn't have to say it. I was one royal sized prick for leaving her. I know the mistakes I caused. I don't know how to atone for them. Nonetheless, I will try.

"So shall I give lame excuses, or will we fight first?"

Legit question since last time we fought we ended up banging each others brains out, and biting the skin off of one another. In fact I have a scar on my right hand where she bit me. Since now she believed that I was actually here, We needed to get this done. Now.

[member="Lexa Imura"]
 
Lexa remained silent. There weren't enough words in the universe to explain the complicated knot of emotions tightening within her. Her hand shot out and gripped Nickolas's throat, hot enough to melt metal. Her power rippled through her muscles. It made her veins glow beneath her skin.
[member="Vincent Imura"]
 
The speed in which the woman moved was astonishing. She was stronger, but only by her rage. Her grip was tight. And it burned. I could almost feel as though my skin was pealing off, but I did nothing. I just sat there. Poker face to show no emotion on my body. Which in fact was not hard to do. I deserved this pain. Part of me wanted to fight back, but I just sat there with Lexa leaning in front of me. Reaching out with my own hand, I grabbed her neck as well. Not in a choke hold. But more so as if I was consoling her. I pulled her head towards mine, and made our foreheads touch.

"Tell me Lexa... will you.... really try to.... kill me?"

Almost coughing through the hold on my neck, I feared my question would be answered with a fight. But sometimes, the best way to act to a situation in death, is to be rational. To think and comprehend.

"If you... choose to.... know.... I..... am sorry."

It was getting harder and harder to speak. I could see lights in the sides of my vision. Letting her choke me to the point where I might pass out. or even die. However, I was willing to let it happen. Letting my head hang and my hair drip down from my face and around her arm, I wanted nothing more than for Morna to be alive, or my mistake erased.

[member="Lexa Imura"]
 
Lexa's face showed nothing of what was now flaring up inside her. She did want to kill him. But she also didn't. She hated that he was this close to her, but she didn't want him to leave. "If I let you live, my life will only be filled with more meaningless torment..." She murmured. Her grip loosened, her hand falling to her lap. Her eyes fell shut.
[member="Vincent Imura"]
 
Her voice, anger and rage. Her eyes burning with a desire to kill. Yet she did not. Releasing my neck, her hand fell into her lap. I could feel the cold air of the room reach my neck. Causing my skin to burn even more. Hurting from the skin trying to heal. I released my grasp on her own neck. Body slumped over almost as though she was in defeat, I knew that she was just preventing herself from erupting in flame and frying me. I stayed still. Closing my eyes and speaking in a rather calm voice for the situation at hand.

"There are many forms of torment. Is it the fact I look like Him, or would it be how I ran, or how you are bearing a child created by me, or the pure darkness of the force that resides within your heart?"

Each one of these were possible. Any one of them could be to blame. However, I knew that this was a combination of them all. Even if I were to try and fix it, I doubt that she would ever forgive me. Just because I was Morna's brother. She couldn't move on.

"Be angry at me, but please, keep the child."

I decided that now would be the time to voice my desires and dreams.

"Let the child live, so that they can have a life that we would never have. You, Him, and myself have had our childhood taken from us. Keep the child in memory of Morna. So that his legacy can live on. I as his brother will do everything I can to help you and the child. But I will accept the fact that you may not want me there. And if you deem it so, then I will leave and never say a word."

I didn't want to leave. I never wanted to. But I had an obligation to fill. I would honor my brother's memory. And name the child his. Not mine. I was a ruined vessel of life. Morna was the prodigal son. I was the runt. And it should be that way. Even unto death.

[member="Lexa Imura"]
 
How did he know about the baby? And how did he know that she didn't want it? Lexa's hands drifted to the bump in her belly. The day she had learned that she was pregnant, she had been so afraid. She still was. How can you raise a child when you've had no teaching whatsoever? When you had no one to aid you, and you were so close to self-destruction that you would bring down anyone that got too close? She couldn't do it.

She sighed weakly. Before Nickolas could finish speaking, Lexa leaned into him and wrapped her arms around him. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Don't....." She whispered. Her body quivered from the storm of power still raging its way through her.
[member="Vincent Imura"]
 
Her face seem surprised about how I knew this information. For one, I could feel the child's force potential even before it's birth. And second, Lexa was angry, and overcomplicated things in ways that can hurt herself. She went on a rampage when Morna died. So me leaving would set her off as well. it was likely that she would not want the kid. Only did she surprise me.

Grabbing onto me, she wrapped my arms as I was close to finishing, but not quite and said "Don't....." I looked down. Arms at my sides as she was almost crushing my lungs. Reaching up, I pushed her arms up from around my chest to go towards my shoulders and neckline. I then wrapped my arms around her chest and held her close to me. Not wanting to let go. I could feel her. And I knew I had a dirty mind when I noticed that her breasts were more perky. Hormones from the pregnancy. As well I could feel her stomach be a small bulge. Not enough to notice simply by looking, but from knowing her body shape and size, it was a difference.

I didn't smile. I didn't weep. I just held her. Breathing in and out. I leaned my chin on the top of her head and sat there. Wondering what to do next.

[member="Lexa Imura"],
 
".... I lost one Imura. And then I lost another. I have done things in your absence that have damned me a million years over. This baby will gain nothing from having a monster for a mother." Lexa's voice was filled with pain, but she shed no tears. No matter how deep her hatred for Nickolas had become, she couldn't bring herself to send him away. She thought she had purged herself of any positive emotions toward him. And yet, here she was, clinging to him like a five-year-old clinging to her father.
[member="Vincent Imura"]
 
She continued to go on. Speaking of losing one, but not wanting to lose another. Her hug was getting tighter and tighter as time went on. Speaking more of doing things that would damn her for a million years. For a second I thought nothing of it, but then, I wondered what it was. Silently, I spoke. Almost in a whisper

"Whatever it is, I forgive you."

The reason? She was kind of forgiving me right now. The first to forgive is the strongest as they say. Holding her, I continued without pause.

"What is it that you did Lexa?"

[member="Lexa Imura"]
 
Lexa opened her eyes, looking down at the ground while Nickolas continued to hold her. "I purged the Light from my body. I shut off my mind. I let everything else inside me loose on a village. It turned to ash. As did all of the people in it. I destroyed it, merely because it was there." She had never killed so many at one time before. Hundreds of innocent people. Not to mention destroyed so many buildings. And she had felt... nothing.
[member="Vincent Imura"]
 
She destroyed and entire village? If she was in war then I would congratulate her, however, we are not. I pulled her closer to me as she was done speaking. Resting her head against my shoulder. "You are powerful. That much we know. What you need to do now, Is learn how to control your emotions, and the powers."

I smiled a little knowing that her fall to the darkside was a sign that I was needed. She would be a woman who was not to be trifled with. I let my smile fade and then pushed her away so I could see her face. "What did you feel when you did it? And what set you off?"

[member="Lexa Imura"],
 
"I had been searching for you, and for my friend Asher for six months. I was stressed from looking, afraid of what I might find. But when the doctor I had been seeing for what I thought might've been a flu told me that I was pregnant... My first feeling was absolute terror. The next was pain. And then, there was rage. I didn't really comprehend what I was doing until I was eventually stopped. By then, the damage had been done." Lexa replied.
[member="Vincent Imura"]
 
Seeing a Doctor, dealing with her friend and my leaving. Learning she was pregnant with my child. Yeah, I would agree. All of that adds up and has to go somewhere. She had snapped. Luckily her powers died down or she might have killed more people with no control at all. I pulled her close to me. Placing a hand on the back of her head and moved my body so we were closer to one another.

"It's okay. I forgive you. Just learn from your mistakes okay?"

If she was worried like this, then it gave proof that she would be a good mother. maybe not the best there ever was, but she would be good. And I hoped that with my help at her side that she would be able to become better, and in control. I lifted her head towards me. Clearly seeing that tears were well on their way to be coming down her face.

"Shhh. Its okay. its over. I'm here now."

[member="Lexa Imura"],
 
Lexa gave him an exhausted look. "No. It's never over, Nickolas. Not for me. There are pauses. Temporary pockets of time where everything seems like it will never change. But it always goes back to the same outcome. Always." She ends up alone, and out of her head with grief. Honestly, this pattern was aging her. If it happened again...
[member="Vincent Imura"]
 

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