Surfing the Holonet

[Ibby]

[member="FRAME"]

Bored and with nothing to do, a little AI known as Papi decided to surf the Holonet.

It was one of her favorite hobbies to do. Her only one, really. But as there was an endless surplus of data, it kept her busy.

The little icon of a girl hopped from site to site, looking for neat things. Papi's favorite part of this whole thing wasn't just the sites, but the travelling, too. It was like being on a waterslide! If, of course, Papi had ever been on one. Which she hadn't. But still. Her thought processors were advanced enough that she could calculate and compare the relative sensation that was the closest to what riding on a waterslide was.

The AI continued to flit, not looking at anything in general. Details to a spice drop off? No... A list of vulnerabilities in the Temple's security system? Boooooring. A plan to invade planets? Yawn.

Finally, she came across a holovid of a little nexu kitten pouncing on a ball. "Aww, how cute!" Papi exclaimed. "Fleshies are so adorable!"

 

[FRAME]

FRAME was not amused with the antics of the little Jawa who had somehow managed to get into his favorite armor 'body'. The helmet was on the floor of the ship, rolling around, the boots magnetically latched to the floor, while the Jawa had managed to fit himself in the now-legless and armless suit. He was shouting in a squeaky voice, and FRAME just shook his holographic head. He decided to ignore the loud little robed thing, and go surf the holonet.

Finally, he just decided that some small furry things would brighten his day... Nexus were kind of cute when they played...

[member="Papi"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="FRAME"]

Even though she'd watched the video five times already, Papi couldn't help but watch it again. It was just how her programmer made her: To fall in love with adorable things.

"Omigosh so adorable!!" Papi squealed. Jumping up and down, she cried, "I just want to hug all the baby nexus in the galaxy!" With a zap, Papi's icon became a revitalized version of the kittens in the video, and she continued to hop around.

 

[FRAME]

FRAME looked away for a second, his green icon turning into a kitten with green fur and white eyes. When he looked back up, there seemed to be a third kitten where there had only been two before. Curious, he poked at the new arrival, and found that he was touching another digital 'being', rather than his vision of the video.

"Hello, there..."

[member="Papi"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="FRAME"]

Papi hadn't noticed the arrival of the new being until it poked her. Startled, she stopped jumping and fell down. Her nexu form gave way to her default icon in a puff of green 8-bit swirls.

Rubbing her head furiously, Papi looked up to see who the new arrival was.

//Foreign entity detected.

//Running diagnostics scan.

Scanning...
Scanning...
Scanning...
Scanning...
Scanning...

//Scan complete.

//Entity designation: <Non-threat>


Papi beamed at the other entity, who had taken on the form of a green kitten. "Hello! I love your icon, it's so adorable! What's your system designation? I'm a Personal Assistant and Piloting Intelligence, but you can call me Papi!"

 

[FRAME]

FRAME looked at the other AI, who had now shifted into a girl. He ruffed his digital fur, and shook himself. By the time he was done shaking, he was back to his default 'face' mode.

"I'm FRAME. An ancient Republic weapon. But I'm not a threat when I'm stalking the HoloNet. I simply switch 'bodies' by integrating myself into circuitry. Lots of fun."

Shifting into the form of a puppy, and sitting down on his haunches, FRAME held out his front paws in a large, sort of enveloping gesture.

"I'm not entertained by the Jawa wrecking my favorite body at the moment, so I'm here. I like your default a lot better than mine. An expressionless face is no fun."

[member="Papi"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="FRAME"]

Papi froze as she began to scan the Holonet for what time period FRAME was talking about. "Oh, you're from the Clone Wars!" Papi exclaimed, unfreezing. "And thank you -- my programmer originally modelled me off of his daughter."

The icon ran over to hug FRAME. "I think it could be menacing, being expressionless. Then the fleshies won't be able to guess what you will do next, since 85.37% of their actions are influenced by emotion. Examples of expressionlessness being used include Darth Vader, Darth Nihilus, Darth Revan, and the stormtrooper armour design."

Papi rubbed her head in confusion. "Why is a Jawa destroying your body? Doesn't he know you're using it?"

 

[FRAME]

FRAME let Papi hug him, and then jumped up, trying to hug back with whatever limited control he had as a puppy. Eventually he gave up trying to hug her as a puppy, and turned into a dancing Jawa.

"I wear old stormtrooper armor. You can still achieve plenty of expression in such a body. And Jawas cannot possibly be expressionless. My 'guest' flipped me the finger when I asked him to stop messing with my body."

He stood on a hand, and his icon changed to a green and white humanoid. FRAME just shrugged, and made a face at Papi.

"And the Jawa's messing with my body to figure out why there's a voice in an empty suit."

[member="Papi"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="FRAME"]

Papi's icon studied FRAME's dancing figure before concluding that it was logical to laugh. "Fleshies can be so peculiar," she giggled. "Didn't you try telling the Jawa that you were a Republic virus?"

This, she concluded, would surely have explain things to the Jawa. But as a backup...

"Or might I suggest calling yourself a ghost? Many of the fleshie species are very superstitious, and most have been known to cower in the face of the supernatural."

 

[FRAME]

FRAME shrugged again, this time sitting down as he did. The Jawa was probably still messing with his armor, as far as he knew.

"I told him I was a ghost, already. I do that routine whenever an organic boards my ship. Little guy just shrugged, and started pulling my armor apart."

Then he laughed, jumping back to his feet.

"Also, nobody cares about an old weapon. The Systems Authority tried to trap me in a circuit and melt me down. Even a Jawa isn't afraid of me. It's not really like I can do anything to him, either."

[member="Papi"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="FRAME"]

Papi sat down, cross-legged. Resting her chin in her palms, she said, "That's a shame, really. A lot of fleshies think that they're better than us." While most AIs would find the most logical response to this to be anger, Papi was instead saddened -- well, as saddened as an artificial intelligence could be.

Suddenly, Papi formulated an idea. "Why not retake control of the suit and spook the Jawa?" She might have been programmed to not hurt those fleshies, but that didn't mean she couldn't scare them.

 

[FRAME]

FRAME's eyes brightened at the idea, and his icon switched back to the green puppy, which bounced up and down. Then he stopped at a certain realization.

"He took the arms and boots off the suit. I could put one or both of us in there, but we'd just be funny voices. Wouldn't even be able to move."

He loved the idea of scaring the hell out of his dauntless stowaway, but with the suit so disconnected, it would be really hard.

[member="Papi"]

 

[Ibby]

[member="FRAME"]

Papi pondered this suggestion for a bit. "What if I asked politely? Then we won't even have to move!"

She cuddled with the now-puppy, happy with this suggestion. "I'm pretty certain I have a Jawa language downloaded somewhere...."

 

[FRAME]

FRAME licked the side of Papi's face, and laughed.

"I hope it works better than speaking Basic at it. Little guy is quite determined to figure out why there's a ghost in the pretty suit."

He ruffled his 'fur', and started bouncing in Papi's arms.

"It'll take a couple minutes for me to remember how to pull other AIs into new bodies. Haven't done that in a very long time."

[member="Papi"]