Private Talk is Cheap

[Corazona von Ascania]

Sometimes, Cora found strength in facing difficult tasks head on.

Sometimes, just the thought of broaching a tough subject was enough for her to give in to cowardice.

Her destination had been clear. Pacing along one of the high-ceilinged corridors, Cora was headed towards the library to return a tome she'd checked out a few days ago.

That was, until someone had rounded the corner at the opposite end of the hall. The hairs at the back of her neck prickled the moment before she'd caught sight of him.

He'd once joked to her that some of the other Padawans avoided him for his appearance. Not a lot of Jedi initiates had neck tattoos denoting them as a gang member. Well, former gang member at this point.

Cora shifted course, abruptly turning down a side hall while her heart jackhammered away. She hoped that Makko hadn't seen her, especially given that she was now staring down the dead end of a corridor.

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

He had seen her on Ool. Whilst she had been unloading boxes and talking to the other jedi he had been playing with children. Makko had grown up in a Favella on Denon. They had been a community with almost nothing but nutrient broth and holonet access points. The authorities had done nothing more than raid their streets I'd anyone sliced into a corporate network or defaced one of their sites.

Makko had known what it was like to live like them. He'd got down to the level of the children and made them laugh and played games. He had wanted Cora to see him like that out of spite. Hoping that it would remind her that he was a kind, empathetic person.

It wasn't really a message to show that her avoiding him hurt. It had felt like one. Makko was not always thinking logically. Not since the party.

Seeing Cora avoid him quite so deliberately, veering off course to avoid him, hurt. Head down, he continued straight on.

Except he was betrayed by his own feet.

He turned down the same alley, accelerating after her.

"Cora," he called out.

"Cora."

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Hearing her name drop from his lips sent a spike of adrenaline through her. Cora didn't know if that was good or bad.

She paced faster, banking on the slim chance that he'd lose interest.

They hadn't spoken since the party, since the news of her engagement had come crashing down between them, instantly widening the gulf they'd worked so hard to cross. Cora had been avoiding him ever since, too afraid to deal with the inevitable fallout. As time went on, approaching him about this seemed like an impossible task.

It wasn't fair to Makko, and she knew it.

Part of her had thought about approaching him on Ool, but her excuse was that she hadn't had a spare moment to.

Finally, Cora found herself face to face with the dead end of the corridor, and thoroughly out of excuses.

She spun sharply on her feet, avoiding his eyes and clutching the tones tight to her chest like some sort of shield and hissed.

"What do you want?"

Like a cornered animal, Cora's metaphorical hackles were raised in defense.

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

The sight of her facing the wall, working out what to do next, was almost amusing enough to break the tension.

That changed in an instant when she turned and asked her question. His face immediately contorting into a look a shock.

"What do I want? That's what you start with? What do I want?"

He shook his head, holding positing in the middle of the corridor and blocking her path.

He lowered his voice. He clasped both hands together in front of himself.

"Ya gonna open this pretending that we couldn't possible have anything to talk about?"

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora's eyes instinctively shifted towards Makko as he moved his hands.

Suddenly, she found herself staring at him, heart thudding so heavily she was certain that he could hear it in the still air of the corridor.

"What's there to talk about?"

Her voice trembled, which surprised her into silence for a moment. She felt awful. For him, for her. Part of her protested at the bitter words she spoke, wanting to come across as softer and apologetic.

But her mouth moved instead, urging defense.

"I'm getting married. We can't keep seeing eachother, so what's the point?"

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

It irked him that there was a logic in that. A very cold logic. She would make her decision and there was little he could do to change it. For all they had, it didn't stack up to the weight of responsibility she carried.

"I know you're getting married but we...I deserve better than just..."

Makko let his hands fall to his sides. He looked more defeated than like he was going to continue blocking her in.

"How are you doing Cora? How long do you get to finish training her?"

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora bit her lower lip. A part of her wanted to scare Makko off, hoping that it would make their breakup easier if she'd been the bad guy.

Figure the mental gymnastics on that one.

It would've been simpler if he'd been angry. Cora knew how to deal with anger. It was familiar. But, as Makko stood there utterly dejected, her heart absolutely ached for him. He did deserve better than this. Better than a girl who'd just passed her expiration date.

"About a month." Cora mumbled as she awkwardly adjusted the stack of tomes in her arms, pointedly ignoring his first question.

"I saw you on Ool," She added, voice level, if a bit strained. "With the kids. You're good with them." Her lips were parted as if she wanted to continue, but a brief silence landed between them.

"You looked...happy."

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

Well there was a plan that had backfired.

Annoyance flashed across his face. He was annoyed at her and he was annoyed at himself.

Makko would have let it all out if he hadn't seen the bruise on her face. She had shown some wilfull defiance already and been punished for it.

"Starlin thought I should have come up with some plan to whisk you away. And...I could, you know. I reckon I could make us dissappear. Take us far away. From them."

From her father and Horace.

"But I know you think you need to do this so I haven't offered. Because it would feel like you choosing him over me."

Makko's voice cracked and he couldn't even look at her. He screwed his eyes shut, balled his hands into fists. Makko turned his head and opened his eyes to look at her.

That she had not met his eye since the ball was what had frustrated him the most.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

"I don't have a ch-"

Flustered, Cora's mouth snapped shut. That wasn't entirely true. She did have a choice. And her decision had been clear—as clear as the faint purple tinge that still lingered on the right side of her face.

Her eyes, still averted, flared in surprise at the idea of being whisked away from all of this, and the notion that Makko could make that happen.

"I'm not choosing him over you. I'm choosing my family over…"

Her voice, insistent at first, quickly lost steam and shrived into a whisper.

"...you."

It would sound awful no matter how it came out, she figured.

He was looking at her. Cora felt the heat of Makko's gaze, and she clutched the books tighter, casting her gaze lower until she was staring at the tiled floor.

"Where would we have gone?"

Her voice, still low, had a note of wistful hope. Not that it would happen—Cora wouldn't run from her duty, turn her back on her family. But she couldn't shy away from the momentary indulgence of a fantasy where they could be together.

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

He shrugged, almost as if he hadn't thought this all the way through. Makko knew what this was. They were playing pretend. It was still better than watching her ignore him.

"I've been doing some coding work. Was hoping to, you know, sometimes be able to pay for things..."

Makko had not been raised in an environment where healthy relationships were the norm. Gang members often used their money to attract the kind of girls that hung around the periphery of the criminal organisation. Makko hadn't been a part of that, but having Cora pay for everything never quite sat comfortably with him.

"It's not a lot, but it would get tickets up the Hydian way. I figure Ukatis has influence down the Rimma trade route, but we could go as far as Ord Mantell and be well beyond their reach," he said, explaining the flight of fantasy.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

The fact that he'd seemingly thought this through surprised her. Makko rarely planned for the future.

Cora's eyes fluttered closed, and for a brief moment, she allowed herself to live the fantasy of Ord Mantell. Pack a bag, slip away from the temple in the dead of night. They could leave Ukatis, Coruscant, and all of their associated troubles behind. Just the two of them.

There was a measure of thrill and comfort in the thought of fleeing with Makko, but practicality forced its way back into her mind as her eyes opened.

What then? They'd find a room in some slum, scraping by on odd jobs, perhaps never moving beyond that. No support system. It was not a lifestyle Cora saw herself settling into. Eventually, guilt would settle in. Perhaps what they ran from would catch up to them. She'd long for Coruscant, for the friends and connections she'd made here.

And she'd long for her family on Ukatis.

"Coding, huh?"

That was all she could say, quietly. He'd always been good with tech.

A heavy sigh passed through Cora, sagging her shoulders. Irritation simmered in her, bubbling up at the thought of the future she could have with him, and how it couldn't happen.

"Listen, Makko…"

Cora's voice threatened to tremble at what she was about to say, so she took a few moments to steady herself.

"We've had our fun, but it had to end sometime. You get that, right?"

The words sounded meaner, more snide than they had in her head. She was getting defensive.

"I think it's best that you forget about me. The quicker you do, the quicker you can move on."

With that, Cora lifted her chin and attempted to brush past Makko.

She still wouldn't meet his eyes.

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

"I think it's best that you forget about me. The quicker you do, the quicker you can move on."

Makko stuck out his jaw, lifting his chin. Deep down, he knew that she was just protecting herself. Maybe she was even trying to protect him too.

He saw that attitude that had infuriated him on their first meeting. She was telling him what was best, as she made clear that he had no choice in the matter at all.

"Quick for you too, huh?"

He lifted both hands, placing his palms across his eyes before they slid back over his temples to rest on his head.

"It wasn't supposed to go like this!" he exclaimed, raising his voice. "It was supposed to be a bit of fun not...not this.

"Fuck, Cora. Not staying up all night feeling like I've been punched over and over in the gut. Because instead of it being fun I'd started to fucking feel something. You're like...the only person I give a shit about in the world. Just about. And I just gotta watch you walk away cos you were always too good for the likes of me and it was always gonna go this way?"

He had not meant to shout, but the volume of his voice had grown with every sentence. Instead of staying calm, he had taken a step closer, gesticulating with both hands.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Between the two of them, Makko was the one who'd always found it easier to express his feelings.

Cora's chest tightened. He'd felt something for her. He cared about her. There had been times in the afterglow when they strayed close to that subject, but neither had been apt to fully explain what it was that they'd felt for one another.

At least, not on Cora's end. That didn't change the fact that she felt something for him too, that she cared about Makko more deeply than she'd wanted to.

"Maybe I am too good for you!"

Jaw set, she finally turned to face him, eyes flashing sharply and skin heating uncomfortably in anger.

"You knew what this was, so if you feel something for me then it's your own damn fault!"

In the moment, she'd forced herself to believe it.

"We both knew that this wasn't going to last. How could it? A noblewoman of my standing with some street rat?"

The words stung, but she wanted them to. Teeth clenched, upper lip curled into a snarl, eyes misting with the emotional swell, Cora too raised her voice.

"This isn't a fucking fairy tale, Makko!"

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

"Your standing? Of course your standing! Do what daddy says and you get to be a whole fucking princess and all you have to do is leave all your friends behind and get into bed with that vicious krunt of human stain!" Makko said back.

His fault? His damned fault for enjoying their time together and maybe, just maybe, daring to think it could become something more.

"My fault..." he muttered under his breath. He'd been so understanding. He'd listened. No one else knew what she had been through and had shown so much patience. Because he knew what it was like to be broken by the world around you.

"You're gonna go be what your family expects you to be, but is it what you want to be?" he asked, leaning forwards again. She'd put him back on the defensive, but he'd regathered himself and chosen a new direction to attack.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora gasped in shock, audibly scandalized by his frank words. Makko tended to say what he meant.

And she would never admit it, but he was often right.

Head lowered, Cora glared up at Makko and tightened the hold on the tomes she clutched to her chest like a shield. His question was unexpected, and had caught her off guard. Her gaze still burned hotly, but how she'd averted it to the side again, tears beginning to gather at her lash line.

"What I want doesn't matter." She grumbled. "This is bigger than me or you."

Biting the inside of her cheek, Cora struggled to hold back the surge of emotion that swelled in her tightening throat.

"You wouldn't understand a thing about responsibility, Makko."

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

"I know it's give and take, not take and take. You're just being used," he snapped. He didn't entirely believe it, but she had parried his thrust and he had little defence for the counter.

He could feel his I sides turning into a tight knot. He knew that emotional pain could physically hurt, but this had all blind sided him. He wasn't prepared.

Makko had started to open up to people and this was how he was rewarded for it.

"So maybe you don't know either. Or maybe being a Pretty Princess in her tower is enough for you to be happy being passed between abusive ass holes as a prize."

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

He'd stunned her into silence.

This time, it lingered between them. Cora could only stand there, eyes impossibly wide and jaw open in shock.

How had they gotten here? Lobbing insult after insult, lashing out at different angles, probing for weak spots until one of the barbs could grab hold and sink in.

What an ugly game.

"That's…it's not going to be like…it won't…"

Her voice never rose above a frantic whisper, fighting back the sudden swell of panic that surged in her chest. Cora tried to stave it off, tried to cut through it, but her facade was breaking.

"I'm not happy being…"

A shiver swept through her, trembling every limb. What was she doing? Pushing him away like this?

Cora shrank back from him. Her voice, timidly soft, cracked with the threat of a sob.

"…I'm scared, Makko."

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

Makko shrank back. His hands fell to his sides. His shoulders slumped.

He looked away and let out a long breath. When the wall of frustration was down he looked broken.

"I know you are," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry...I just...I feel helpless Cora. You've avoided me and I've not said anything because..."

He rocked back and then took a step closer.

"Because what can I do? You're gonna end up married to him in no time, consummating it, and we'll never talk again."

His fists clenched and unclenched. That was the worst of it. That he was absolutely powerless to rail against authority here. Powerless to help. They'd taken her away, locked up Starlin and he had walked away and cried in the rain.

" What can I do?" he asked softly. "Anything," he said, making her know the question was real. He gave small, helpless shrug. Even if she had to go, if there was something that would help her face the choices made for her he would.

Strange to realise that when he'd been so close to literally turning his back on her.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora was startled by her own admission, but it was the first time she'd been truly honest in their conversation.

And about the whole marriage affair, really.

Part of her had expected—maybe even hoped—that Makko would turn away from her. She was intensely relieved when he didn't.

Instead, their anger had turned to somber distress. A helplessness that harkened back to how things felt between them on Ukatis.

"I…don't know."

Just as lost as he was, Cora rocked back and forth anxiously on her heels. She grimaced at the thought of consummating the marriage, at laying on her back for that awful man.

"I don't care about being a princess. I just…don't want any of this! I want to stay here, on Coruscant with you and Valery a-and everyone…"

The Jedi knew that she was uncomfortable with this arrangement. Cora had put up a facade of courtly smiles and gentle shrugs when probed, and rarely did the mask slip.

Now, it has fallen to the floor and shattered to pieces. Her upper lip trembled, tears slipping down her flushed cheeks as she unraveled.

"…I feel like I-I'm….worth more than just a…just a bargaining chip…here."

An ugly sob wrenched from her throat, and Cora buried her face in the stack of tomes she'd been fervently clutching as if her life depended on it.

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

Makko fell silent. Thinking clearly, he would have known what to do immediately. He was still spinning. Makko stood there and listened to the first few sobs and let her words wash over him.

He closed the distance in two long strides. He placed one hand on either side of the pile of books and started to gently prise them away from her.

As that shield was pulled away, after every other defence had been stripped back by his sharp tongue, Makko stood forward and placed himself between her and the world.

If this was all that he could offer, then he would do it. It would hurt him even more. Maybe that had gone through her head too.

"You're worth far more than that anywhere," he said, offering his shoulder over a stack of books. "Everyone here knows it."

At the announcement, other people had taken the news far less quietly than Makko. Though he had probably done the most damage by being seen with her.