Tell me about myself

[Adron Malvern]

So I've been writing Adron for about a year and a half now. It's definitely time for a review from a few of my peers. However first I'm going to go into a few self-critiques in areas where I believe I can improve as a writer. As far as the character himself, personally I adore Adron. he's really grown out of his broody teen with a grudge into a confident nobleman and empowered Sith Lord. He's advancing into the deeper works of the Sith magic as he strives to take the position of Vicelord of The Confederacy. Certainly a character that has had impeccable progression in the last few months.

1. Depth- Generally I like to think I can paint a scene and really give you a clear picture of what I am conveying. However as posts go on and the threads continue I seem to decline on the depth and perhaps the quality of my posts. This can be caused by a lot of things, one of the biggest things being a long break in between posts, however it seems when I change from posting on my computer to posting on my phone there is a big difference. I'll try to maintain that quality we all love!

2. Format- So if you follow me you'll notice I use different formats for different threads. Not so much font or text size. However, text "speech" color and the format of the post as a whole can vary from thread to thread however I try to at least keep them consistent within the thread itself. Though I do fall short In that category sometimes as well.

3. Response/Drive- I really need to get more regular in my posts. A bit of it is time management but sometimes I just stare at a thread for literal hours with no clue on how to get a good post out. When that happens I usually abandon it all together and just wait for the next day and hope for a better drive to post. How do ya'll handle that? Would love some tips or tricks for this area.

These are just some things I think my general writing over all could use. However if there are any other things you notice I'd appreciate you taking the moment and provide me with some constructive feedback on me, Adron, or anything else you think will help me. Thanks Chaos!

 

[Amilthi Camlenn]

I really like that Adron comes across as a character with tastes, drives, and motivations. Great work on that!

1. I think the decline in perceived depth over the course of a thread is normal as one gets more focussed on moving the story along after the scene is set. It's not necessarily a problem, either. If you read actual literature, for example, you will find that the description depth is very much non-constant and it really zooms in only on important scenes. We already spend more words per IC-second than any serious writer ever would.

3. Good question, I can only say I empathise. My only strategy is to put off the post until I can have a quiet hour with nothing else on my mind, and a cup of coffee, and wait for the ideas to flow. And then either something good comes to you and the problem resolves itself completely, or you just write a mediocre post to move the story along. Sometimes you just have to be content with that.

One thing I notice in your writing occasionally - and please don't take that the wrong way, especially in case you're not a native speaker of English - is that you use expressions from an elevated register in unidiomatic ways. An example I recall off the top of my head is the notion of the Confederate Empire "spreading its ilk". The following explanation isn't meant to cruelly show how wrong you are, it's meant to illustrate and dissect the subtle off-ness that I'm talking about. "ilk" is rarely used these days and occurs mainly in two contexts, one is "x's ilk" (often in "x and its ilk") meaning "things like x", and the other is "of x's ilk", meaning "like x". Now if you try to interpret the CE spreading "its ilk" - what does it mean for a political entity to "spread things of its kind"? It doesn't quite compute. What you meant was probably "spreading its influence". Or perhaps having imitators - that is, the appearance of others of its ilk? But then it wouldn't be active spreading on the CE's part.

 

[Adron Malvern]

Hey! Thanks for the feedback. It really is helpful and I appreciate it. I thought about what you said about a quiet place and some coffee, maybe the proper atmosphere or just focusing on that a bit more could help me.

As far as the language used in certain moments or just in general. Recently I've been noticing I can have poor choice of words. English is my native language but sometimes I just get twisted up. Ill definitely keep that in mind moving forward, thanks again.


[member="Amilthi Camlenn"]