Private Tending to the little one

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra leaned back, eyes turned up at the sky as she rested and thought on all that had transpired in the last few weeks, her mind on both Adara and on Yasha as she had invited Adara to come back to Alderaan and to the garden, knowing it would be a safe place for the girl Alexandra treated and saw as a daughter just as Morgan was. Adara was someone that she dearly believed in and cared for and after seeing her get taken advantage of the other day and then knowing she was at Kesh it made Alex uneasy about what more someone might use her for.

Alex knew that the woman she still saw as a little girl would be around soon though, feeling her long before she even came close to the house. Her eyes would come over her shoulder, looking at the entrance to the secluded sanctuary, to the single most precious place that Alex has. Alexandra watched the door, knowing that there was a very certain someone just beyond it and her hands crossing in her lap.

Adara Raxis

 

[Adara Raxis]

The sway of the Galaxy was a constant tug and pull on Adara's young mind, half the universe believing her such an adult, a post-Verd'goten Mandalorian whose path was above such childish things as confusion or fear. Yes, there were advantages to coming into her Mandalorian inheritance, in running off as 'not a child' into the Galaxy at large. But more than anything, Adara wanted to feel like a child.

Like the sixteen year old she was, as Aruetiise girls and boys got to be. Not potential leaders, Arch-Duchesses, Alor'e, warriors, but kids just growing into themselves in the safety of their parents' love and protection. Mandalorians died too young, and thus, were tossed away from such luxuries far earlier. And it wasn't fair.

Between her mother's failing condition, her father's growing bid to take back Mandalore, the influences of the Sith who conquered it, and even the pressure of the Keshiri, of Vena, Adara ran away. Off with her friends on grand mishaps and mischief which in the end were as empty as the throne on Vena Adara should have occupied. Tuuli's mother Livia swooped in where Yasha could not, arranging any correspondence of import to find the teenaged royal no matter how far across the span of the Galaxy she went. Livia Miles was more tenacious than the Force was a fount of power.

All but one of her Handmaidens and guards stayed on the shuttle, a single burgundy robed figure walking behind Adara, signature in the Force muted. Hidden.

"Aunt.. M-mama? Mama Alex?" Adara pushed her way in to the familiar place, her shoulders raised and energy guarded. What more could Alexandra Feanor ask of her that others have not already?

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra would smile the moment that Adara came into sight and with nothing more than a wave of her hand, the elder woman made for her to come over and sit down. Alexandra waited for her to come closer before talking, but keeping a close eye on her nonetheless though the tiny white ball of fur beside her. Daeda would watch Adara, the second set of eyes that would welcome Adara the moment she was close enough and try to get attention from her once she sat if she sat.

And once Adara was closer, either sitting or standing, Alex would make herself able to give the other woman a hug and hold her, not doing anything else but that as the silver robed woman sat there and patted Adara on the back. Her hand rested there for a moment after hugging her but eventually she would let go, resuming her old position as she sat infront of her tree.

"Hello Little Adara... where have you been?"

Adara Raxis

 

[Adara Raxis]

The teenager walked into the garden with her dress sleeves tugged over her hands. Fingers clung to the cloth, a little wave for Daedra as she walked into the house. She didn’t want to stay… no.

Everyone wanted her to pull in another direction. Adara sat on on the ground by the tree, prim ankles together and offered to pet Daedra’s head. The tree hummed, sacred as Alex’s past. As Adara smoothed her skirts around her, and the Handmaiden leaned against a tree within earshot, she felt rebuke.

Where had she been, indeed?

As she hugged into Alexandra Feanor ’s side, Adara gulped.

Her mind flew to Eclipstica, the first stop Tuuli Miles took her to when they ran from Eiru in the middle of the night. Kaine Australis ‘ ad’ika fearing more of what her father might have seen than believing in a parent’s mercy. Frustrated and tired of speaking to what she felt from the Vongformed body of her mother, Adara let Tuuli take her hand. Run to his ship and take off.

It was a thrill then, weeks in space with Tuuli, first only her friend, then with whispers of childhood love. Silly little games they played as kids. Holding his hand while they wondered what to do. Where to go.

Vena, her crown planet. A home for herself and her teenaged friends, who banded together to get away from the problems of the Galaxy. The ills of Mandalore. Adara’s eyes shut.

Mandalore.

The first taste of raising the dead, her father Kaine’s body lying prone. Still in the rubble. Too still. It wasn’t fair, he left them with so much mess to clean! With Buir in a perpetual state of nearly dead. He wasn’t allowed to die a hero. There was so much death on Mandalore already, what was she but a fount to tap?

Kesh, and Solan’s plea to not kill his people. Dxun and Jedi trying to keep her from seeing inside a ruin. Wouldn’t even let her take pictures. Sith Space, a place unwelcome for so many but welcoming. Kind for the Dark Sided girl. Papa. Seeing Papa and being constantly reminded that although Mandalorians believed teenagers were ‘men and women’, to the rest of the Galaxy, Adara was no woman. She was still a little girl. Papa held her like the child she’d been, a five year old with a fever. He rocked her to sleep, put her to bed, the ineffable parent with plans of intrigue later on, farther off. Sent Tuuli off, with a call to Aedan.

‘Pick up your son.’

Oyar’u on a call from Achani. Owed use of power for causing her mother’s death. For being responsible for Baiko’s death.

Where had Adara been?

“Oh, you know. Out.” Adara kept her hands on her knees, kneeling on the ground, her head down without looking Alex in the eye.

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra watched Adara's mind go for a trip but rather than pushing her on this Alex just smiled, turning her attention on the plants infront of her and smiling as she reached out, drawing life into one of the flowers and letting it grow out, slowly taking it up and twisting at the plant's very being. The pigment in the petals changed, its color shifting to be crimson red, bleeding down into a white center before reaching over to hand the flower carefully to Adara, a knowing smile still on her lips as this was a wordless way to say she somewhat understood what was happening.

"Well, as long as you aren't off running away with some boy you never introduced me to, I suppose thats fine. After all, how am I to know if the kid is good for you if Ive never met him Adara?" Alex shifted the topic, decided on something a bit more light hearted as she watched Daeda enjoy the attention, knowing the glutton was waiting for someone to show him such attention before glancing at a droid. She gave a small sign, the droid leaving to fetch some tea for the two.

"Im happy to see you Adara, you have no idea how much I missed your visits."

Adara Raxis

 

[Adara Raxis]

Alexandra Feanor had the look of a parent who knew very well where her child was, but wanted to hear it herself. While Adara perched on the ground, she busied about petting Daeda’s head and staring at the ground.

The flower grew before her, but Adara stopped short of touching it. Everything died around her, didn’t it? Even something as simple as a flower.

“Oh... you’ve... met Tuuli Miles .” Adara’s skin flushed, as she nibbled her lip and took the flower to shift from the blush on her cheeks. “You’ve met Aedan & Livia Miles’s oldest boy. He... he’s on the ship. But! But he... he holds my hand.”

The blush grew, puppy love in a teenaged girl barely out of her storybook princess reading childhood.

Her eyes ducked down again, having meekly come up to look at Alex. She fiddled with the flower and twisted the stem in her hand, watching the petals swing back and forth.

“You’re right. I do have no idea... when did things get so complicated?”

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra would smile wider when she told her who it was, the answer met with a brow as she looked towards the location of Adara's ship and wondering if the boy was going to come out or not. She bannished the thought from her mind though as she refocused on the reddening girl and reached over, messing up her hair ever so slightly as she said nothing and just looked at the tree.

Adara's head ducked down again and she looked at her hands and the flower, staring at it and as she did, Alexandra just continued working on her garden, providing nothing more than an ear and a shoulder for Adara to rely on. But soon the conversation started up again and it made Alexandra laugh softly and almost like the wind, holding on the air as she leaned back.

Thanks to the new body, Alexandra herself looked no older than an early twenty something and the life brought to her face was like light itself, bright and there for Adara to look on and enjoy such happiness and humour.

"Adara." She started as her eyes returned to Adara's face. "The world was always so complicated, you were just shielded from that or kept naive. Sometimes, that naivety is something i wish I could return to once and a while but then id lose my understanding for this world and this universe." She leaned her head back again, looking at the sky as she sighed.

"So, where are you off to next?" The question more than just what her next destination was.

Adara Raxis

 

[Adara Raxis]

"I thought of going home... To Panatha. Moridinae isn't home anymore, I guess for me it never was, and... Eiru is... Too far. Tuuli's never spent time on Panatha, so maybe I'll take him there. We can see mother's family. I haven't seen any of them since..." Mandalore. Once more the home world of the Mandalorians was a moment in time, as well as a vector. A timeline for the rise and fall of the Infernal.

Yet, the Sith name for the place was awkward in Adara's mouth. A symbol of where she'd been if she were more honest. With a huffle, Adara leaned against the bark of the tree and watched Alex work.

"I've been hunted since I was born. It's just... Things used to be simpler, when we could all trust each other, or at least trust that we had each others' best interest in mind. But now, we're all... Splintered and running. Searching for better directions." Shrugging shoulders which used to be diminutive, the 6'1" Epicanthix girl sighed again and let the flower sit back down in the grass, other hand still feeling along Daeda's head with scratches.

"Nobody listens to me, so why does it matter?"

Tuuli Miles Alexandra Feanor

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra listened as she mentioned where she was going to head to next, her hands coming to rest on Adara's shoulder before looking at her hair and while Adara spoke Alex would absentmindedly push adara's hair out of her face before going back to working on the garden. Before she ever got to talking about when she was hunted, a finger was brought up, a silent request for her to stop before continuing.

"You should show the young man to the waterfall nearby, I can arrange that it will be private tonight, and I think the two of you deserve some time to relax..." Alex smiled, letting Adara know she was happy to support the girl before waving for Adara to continue as she had been speaking before.

"Just because no one listens, doesnt mean what you do has no consequences, or what you say. I have faith in you doing good as I know what a kind and wonderful girl you area Adara. You are a soft one, who loves life like my garden, and no matter what some moronic Jedi or Sith took from you in regards to your choice of a place in the force, you still have that choice of how you use that gift of the force. Just because you need use the dark, and avoid the light, does not mean that you may only commit evil." She paused, looking Adara in the eyes and resting her head into her hand.

Adara Raxis

 

[Adara Raxis]

Adara nuzzled into the absent attention Alex played to her hair, craving such a maternal touch. Her eyelids shut tight, lips pressed so hard together they turned white. Alex settled Adara’s mind for a time, shifting away from the horrors of her young life with soft words of plenty and ease. For a time, Adara could live within such fictions, guided by a woman she saw as another parent, a guiding hand.

“Tuuli.. and I would like that… but I didn’t bring a bathing suit. May I borrow some clothes?” Still so innocent, Adara watched Alex a little childish and wide-eyed.

“You… you wouldn’t say I can do good if… Alex, there’s… it’s all my fault. I raised Baba from the dead, and… I think there’s something wrong. He's pushing without limits, there's nobody to keep his blood lust in check, and... is... is it Baba doing these things, or something I did to him, when I brought him back? And... and no one will listen to me. No one but Papa.

Papa always listens.” Finally voiced, the mention of her Papa, a nebulous and hidden figure.

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra smiled when Adara asked to borrow clothes, looking at her and judging that some of her old clothes would fit the girl who was just barely smaller than her. Alex hands continued to brush at Adara's hand as she held her just as absent-mindedly and enjoyed having the girl look up to her like a mother. She knew that this boy meant alot to Adara, even if the child or nephew or whatever he was of Aedan Miles kept her unsure about him.

"You are more than welcome to borrow anything from my old days... ive been around for a long time, so I am sure you will find something that you like." Alexandra was never the adventurous type with her clothing, but she was certain that Adara would find something as she leaned back against the three with the girl and sighed.

"Just because you raised him does not make it your fault Adara. I have died twice, I have had three bodies, found myself in the netherworld four times... And yet I am still me. Yes I retain a dark spirit, one who I keep locked away and in check, a mistake from my early life in thinking I could purge from myself the darkness in my heart and in my emotions, succeeding in only making something that was far worse..." She paused, looking at Adara and brushing her hair back out of her face.

"What your father does, is not your fault. What he does is his own choices, and if he falls to his own evils, then he did that on his own. Never blame yourself for the actions of others... and those who would seek to blame you are weak. They are too weak to take responsibility for their own actions and their own choices... As for your papa... I cannot agree with such a man, but he protects you and helps you... he listens to you if no one else will." She paused, thinking over what she said before finishing the thought. "But, while your papa cares and listens to you, be careful, you know how the dark can get someone to become emotional or do something bad, you must always be careful, especially because you were stolen the choice to touch the light."

Adara Raxis

 

[Adara Raxis]

Cuddled into Alexandra Feanor ’s side, Adara nuzzled her hair into Alex’s hand, smiling softly not because life was alright, but because for now Adara was safe.

“Thanks, Mama. Tuuli’ll be alright. I’m sure. If you have maybe long trousers and a tunic? I wouldn’t want to be…” The teenager leaned forward, cupping her hand toward Alex’s elven ear. “… revealing.”

Adara whispered, and stood back, nodding sagely as if some massive wisdom was spoken in hushed tones. While Tuuli Miles might look quizzically on the girl for wearing other clothes, if it meant swimming, well…. why not!? And fluffy towels for afterward! What else could Alex possibly mean?

Adara shifted her head onto Alex’s shoulder and hugged the elder woman’s arm. Wasn’t her fault? But… surely she did something wrong… the child sighed, shutting her eyes and huddling with her knees pulled up to her chest, as she hugged Alex’s arm.

“But… the Light feels like burning coals, just… cold. Like it’s freezing me by inches. Papa is warm, he… he’s the one who picked me up when I was too tired to walk, held me in his arms when I hurt. When my bones were growing. Everyone keeps saying he’s evil, he must be he’s Dark. But… Baba is doing evil things, isn’t he? Trading some lives for others? What do we do, Mama Alex? Baba is rushing into every battle he can reach, nothing is too much. What’s the difference? What makes Baba good, when Papa is bad? They’re both sacrificing hundreds of thousands of lives for the safety of their perceived families. I suppose, I don’t get it.”

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra smiled down at the girl as she made her point that just a set of trousers would be all that she needed, how anything else was simply too revealing and that brought a wider grin to her lips. Adara would find Alex's hand running through her hair again as the woman enjoyed Adaras worry about wearing something revealing. She hoped the other kids might carry some of that charm when they got older but for now Adara carried it in plenty.

The question about her father and her 'papa' next came, a question Alexandra could not easily answer. Her father's actions were not good, but she also referenced a man who was just as bad. Lying or hiding what she thought of the two would do nothing to Adara... but she also knew better than to force a belief on Adara, which is why Alex just continued to hold her while she talked.

"To me Adara, neither your father nor your Papa are good. Both sacrifice life in such a manner that achieves nothing. Your father thinks he is righteous. That what he does is for the good of others and he need only carry the burden or make it happen through his own abilities. I do not know if that is the same for your papa but their methods are vile, it kills and perverts life, it is disgusting... but they are still people you love." Her words paused, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"Your Papa is evil though in my eyes, but not because he uses the dark. Taking the lives of others on such a scale is wrong, especially when those innocent of wrongdoing or combat are involved. Your father is close to that line, and if he steps over that line, should he not have already, then he owns the same title as evil." Her eyes focused on Adara though, finishing her point.

"But you still love them, and they still care for you, and that will always matter more than no matter what evil they commit. This doesnt mean you should accept or even let them do it... but do not ignore the fact that they care and love you."

Adara Raxis

 

[Adara Raxis]

Cuddled up with her mother’s lover, a woman Adara always knew as Aunt or Mother-Figure, Adara finally felt like the child she was. No throne or responsibility reached her there, nothing but the ability to relax and decompress. Adara let herself be childlike, pondering nothing more difficult than some clothes to wear to the waterfall pond.

It helped relieve the sting of Alexandra Feanor speaking the truth. Her father dead after his first sight of her, Baba as tumultuous as Mandalore itself, and Papa the steady but nefarious shadow-guided hand, Adara craved the family she missed.

A point on her compass which was as volatile as the Galaxy’s natural spin.

“How can we tell, when they’re good to... but Baba wasn’t good to Buir, was he?” Adara shook her head, looking out to the tree she loved so much. “I don’t understand why Baba hates Glomkhoduil so much. Why... why do they have to fight? They’re all just killing each other and getting others killed.”

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

"I wish that I could tell you people would be able to get along if they did just one thing, but for some people, that is impossible. Greed, power, both are intoxicating and as long as there is someone holding power over another, there will always be people looking to challenge that power for their people or for their own growth. Your father does what he does out of some misguided belief that if he wins he can protect more people by fighting the Sith... and the Sith want to control, to rule, and to suck dry the galaxy for their own benefits." She paused looking at Adara and sighing, her hand brushing Adara's hair still.

"You know I dont hold back in what I believe in that aspect, or the truth of the matter Adara. That is why I tell you this with such honesty. The sith, even Taeli who I consider a close and trusted friend, they are a group who only seek to rule and hold power over others. To take lives, to twist it, and to do whatever they want. They play at the belief they are doing it for Order and Stability, but to get that they have to kill, usurp, and destroy entire worlds or people. That is why peace is so hard to find with the Sith for the rest of the galaxy. People enjoy their freedom... even if that freedom can bring harm to others." Alex sighed and leaned back, tired of this topic personally and truly not fit for such explanations at the time.

"Why don't we change the topic, I am sure there are happier things you want to talk about, maybe something you want to learn?"

Adara Raxis

 

[Adara Raxis]

“But... then the fighting will never stop. The Galaxy will always be drenched in blood. Why must we be always be drenched in blood?” Adara burbled, the complex relations between her loved ones a caustic and poisonous web. She cuddled into the most matronly woman she knew, wishing Alexandra Feanor had more fanciful than right answers.

“Aren’t there different sort of people in this Galaxy? Bakers and teachers and artists. So many people, who are good at what they do, whether it’s engineering or tailoring or making fine jewellery. The Galaxy is full of all sorts of people.” Fanciful stories from her Papa filled Adara’s eyes and mind, as she shifted up from Alex’s arms to pace the area by the magical and beloved tree. “All sorts of people. So... if there are all sorts of people, doesn’t that give license for there to be people born to rule? Like the flower girl born to garden, or the baker who always makes perfect bread. Or the doctor with inexhaustible patience with the ill. Then, if there are all those sorts, why not those fit to rule? Why not those built to being royal?”

The promise of a childhood towed constantly between the Dark Shadow and the Mand’alor, one of potential and future power. A natural regency doted on with fanciful tales of a black and red eyed future Queen.

“I... I would like to learn how you met Noah. What was it like? Did you know absolutely he was yours, or... or did it take time?” The exuberance of youth once more burst on young Adara’s face.

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra listened as Adara tried to reason and understand the impossible nature of the Galaxy. It was interesting to watch her turn in her own mind trying to figure out why the galaxy must be that way and it was something Alexandra could not answer. She probably could never understand it, even if she ended up living all five thousand years of her lifespan, she would never understand the people of the universe.

"Adara, I do not know why the galaxy must be like this, or why it may always be drenched in blood, but we cannot worry about such things. We must focus on what we can effect, what we can stop, and what little we can do... If I had my way, you would find this universe a very different place but I am no omnipotent being, just as you aren't, just as Darth Carnifex, just as your mother." Her voice remained soft and kind.

Then she started pacing and reasoning the fate of one person and their given birthright. Her smile remaining as the girl tried to reason what fate had for the people of the galaxy and what they should do in their places. Alexandra had no easy answer for the young woman, her own eyes wondering on those same questions but in the end a different question came to greet Alexandra who just nodded. Her first time meeting Noah, a time long ago and one that made her think on much different days.

"How did I meet Noah... I was serving the Republic's Jedi Order at the time, helping to keep things organized and running and had decided to pay the general of the Republic's military a visit, that being Noah back then. Noah was an interesting person and he got me interested in seeing what his boasting could do and what he could do in a fight even though he had aged quite a bit by then. So me and him sparred... and I admit I cheated a bit, knocked him on his ass then picked him up by the foot with the force, hanging him in the air. He lost a bet and had to go on a blind date with someone, that someone ending up being me."

Adara Raxis

 

[Adara Raxis]

The problems of the universe were too big even for her beloved Mama Alex.

“No. Mother never was omnipotent.” Adara scoffed, and tossed both arms across her chest. “And now she’s gone.”

Yasha was nothing but a corpse in waiting, or so the teenaged girl felt. There was so little left, of the once proud woman. As if all it took was the six bullets and their clanging significance.

“Awwww.” Hearing about Noah Corek and his first meeting with Alexandra Feanor helped more than Adara cared to admit. The girl smiled softly, “So, you fought him first? Wow, you really did go full Mandalorian. And Echani, I suppose.”

Her hand smacked into her mouth, and Adara giggled. “You… you flung Noah around!? Eeeeee! Hehehe.”

Flopping down against the tree, Adara fiddled with her fingers in her dress-clad lap. Ankles crossed politely to her side.

“Tuuli pulled my hair, when we were children. Suppose that counts as something. More than anything, he was always around Mandalore, when his father Aedan was mother’s Warmaster. Quite… quite sweet really… but I haven’t made him lose a bet. Maybe I should! See what he does with it.” Adara blushed and dipped her head down, letting out a sigh. “You and Noah are always here, it seems… Mama? If… if it were you holding out against Carnifex… would Noah have shot you? To get to him?”

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

"Would Noah have shot me to get to Carnifex... that is an interesting question Adara." She paused, truly thinking it over before her smile resumed and she shook her head.

"Noah is too kind and soft for such a thing... even as a general, even knowing that in war and conflict sometimes sacrifice is necessary, he would be beside himself to even consider that option. He would sooner charge in himself, put himself between Carnifex and me before even the thought came to mind." She paused again, the smile fading for a moment as she considered the opposite though.

"To say I wouldnt do so though, is rough. I know you may love Carnifex, or his family, that they may be close to you, but the man is something altogether wrong. Its hard to say if that sacrifice would be worth it or even change anything. Your father had made a grave mistake, thinking firstly that such a weapon would cause irrepairable damage to Carnifex but also that he did not consider Yasha's safety. It was beastlike to do as he did without the thought behind it." She sighed, looking off to the side and letting her hand hover over a flower, fingers working to open the petals and feed the force into the plant.

"This Tuuli boy pulled your hair as a child? A bit rude of him, but I see that he made up for it considering how you and him are getting along. As for losing a bet, make sure its something he cant win at, otherwise you might find yourself the subject of such a thing. I mean, only reason I chose a duel was because of how old and cranky Noah is, I knew I was gonna win." Alex gave Adara a wink, leaning back and returning to her happy state as she talked with the young girl.

Adara Raxis

 

[Adara Raxis]

Did men shoot their spouses? Was that the natural order, when one’s family more meaningless than the battle at hand? Was that what Adara had to look forward to, family ties being as thin as six bullets? Would Tuuli Miles shoot her one day?

Papa wouldn’t. Adara had a strange faith in the man most knew as the evil behind the Sith Throne. Braxus Zambrano would never harm her. Would he?

“Noah would… wouldn’t he? But… Baba always loved my mother and… Mama Alex, what’s happening to us? The entire Galaxy feels so on top of itself… and… if…” Adara looked to the ground, sucking on her bottom lip as she did as a child. “If Carnifex is so altogether wrong, why did he try to save my mother?”

The holo-projector cast the feed from Yasha’s buy’ce, that mighty wolf-helm now destroyed. It jerked at the impact of the first cherub bullet. Carnifex swung and grabbed her. Craned away. The feed jerked, another bullet. Another and another.

Six shots, and Yasha’s ragged voice pursing from wet, blood filling lungs. And the final words, soft in Epicanthix. The words of a lover or man desiring to be one. The helm feed blitzed, fatal catastrophic damage pulsed in red klaxon warnings. Black and red eyes, scars Yasha put there on his face. The sword swung back, a last gift to the Infernal.

The feed cut out, as Kaine Australis screamed his wife’s name.

“Everything will be alright, he said. His last words to my mother. You’ve known Carnifex longer than I, has he ever truly let anyone go?” Adara kept quiet for some time, watching Alex play with flowers.

“Heh.. Noah is dreadfully old, isn’t he? Teehee don’t! Don’t tell him I said that! Oh, it shouldn’t be said! Eeeheheheeee.” Covering her mouth, Adara giggled. “Something I know Tuuli will lose… hmmm. Gosh, but he is so good at many things… I do like him so! I may… even… want to hold his hand.”

She blushed and ducked her head down. “He kissed my cheek, you know.”