The Audacity of Despair

[Aiden Zarc]

He was sick. He was tired. He didn't want life anymore. No one cared about him, so why should he? Aiden was too young to understand suicide, much less plan something like that. However, he knew that his "jumping" trick took energy from his body. Maybe the hunger would swallow him whole and he wouldn't have to exist anymore? He didn't know, but he was also at the end of his rope.

He started running and running. He jumped into the streets of Coruscant and then the grassy fields of Dantooine. He stopped paying attention to his surroundings and just kept jumping. He finally bumped into someone's backside and fell on his back. He could feel blood coming out of his nose in a large nose bleed. He started sobbing as he lay exhausted on his back and tried to stop the flow of blood. The blood pooled in the small of his shirtless chest.

[member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Keira Priest]

It was strange for Keira to be both away from her men and distanced from any sort of galactic battlefield, but both were the case. Antecedent was the planet of choice, a callback to her time spent as a member of the infamous Red Ravens criminal syndicate. Her intent was to lay low after the chaos within the Republic that had gone up in flames in a matter of days. So far she was accomplishing that goal rather well, finding it easy to return to her roots even after having been away from the planet of sin for years. Surviving in the criminal underworld meant you had to do nothing more than out-think the next guy, and that was easier than having to necessarily outfight them as well.

Of late she had taken to wandering the neon-lit streets of the planet as had become habit prior to her abandonment of this way of life, and had found that the streets were navigable by nothing more than memory. It seemed as if nothing had changed. Maybe it would be possible to eke out a life here while she waited for the chaos to die down so she could return to Republic space. That didn't sound like a half-bad idea. Her train of thought was interrupted when someone ran into her from behind, an individual she hadn't even sensed coming. Just a kid. Without so much as a moment of consideration she helped him into a sitting position, pulling a compact, portable medpac from the inside of her jacket courtesy of her time spent with the clones, bundling a few strips of gauze together and demonstrating to the child how to hold them on his own in order to stem the bleeding.

"Let's get you somewhere so you can clean up, huh? I've got an apartment not too far from here." Wiping away the blood that had dripped onto his chest she did her best to gently pick him up, surprised at how light he really was. The walk to her place of residence was a short one, and she managed to unlock the door with one hand, it sliding smoothly shut and locking again behind them. Turning on the lights she moved into her bedroom, sitting him down on her bed and crouching in front of him. "You got a name, kid?" She was woefully unused to dealing with children.

[member="Aiden Zarc"]

 

[Aiden Zarc]

Someone was grabbing him. He panicked and tried to push away from her. He didn't want to be hurt. He didn't want to be dragged away and put in a juvenile jail cell again. He raised his tattoo covered arm to keep her away from him. The tattoos on his arms were that of thick, straight, dark lines that became circles, which surrounded typical bloodstream/injection points on the body.

When her embrace didn't let up, he screamed once loudly before he then loosened up and started sobbing quietly. The crying racked his body as he developed a case of hiccups. He looked up at [member="Keira Ticon"] through tear-blurred eyes. He then buried his bloodied face in her shirt and hugged her tightly. Finally! Someone who was willing to help!

He quietly obeyed as she helped him staunch the bleeding. When she picked him up, he once more buried his face in her hair and tuned out the rest of the world. She smelled nice.

He sat on the bed with a neutral expression upon his face. When she asked the question of his name, he looked down and tried to think hard about it. After a few seconds, he looked up at her and spoke for the first time in a long, desolate time.

"...No..."

 

[Keira Priest]

For a moment Keira studied him, unable to discern whether he was lying or simply couldn't remember his own name. In any case she wouldn't press the issue, instead settling to play by his rules on the subject until the both of them warmed up to one another just a bit more. "How about I call you Diego, after my older brother? Would you be okay with that?" For those that doubted her capacity to be gentle and even the smallest amount maternal, this would be a turning point. Unbeknownst to most she was pregnant with twins, so perhaps that was a bit of a spark that brought out her more nurturing, caring side. It was certainly a change from her usual demeanor.

It dawned on her then that she wasn't entirely sure how to take care of a young child, but she would work things out as she always did, albeit this time much more carefully rather than simply letting the pieces fall where they would. This took a different sort of hand. "You need to get cleaned up a bit, and we should see about getting you some different clothes. Which would you like to do first?" Seeing as how she still had the six-hundred thousand credits and then some left over from her time in employment with Spaarti, money wasn't much of an object at the moment, not that she really expected him to want to go all out. He was just a kid, after all, even if she had a feeling he was very different from what was considered average.

The moment she had picked him up his attunement to the ethereal had been blatantly obvious, and he had quite the potential to boot. It seemed to be an ability he wasn't aware of, but it would help explain why he had appeared behind her seemingly out of nowhere. Most who were untrained harnessed their talents instinctively, never quite seeming to register that what they were doing was beyond the capacity of your average sentient. But given his age, she didn't expect him to realize what he was doing and how. "You can stay with me for as long as you want." Somehow she had a feeling he didn't have a home to return to. "Would you like that?"

[member="Aiden Zarc"]

 

[Aiden Zarc]

Aiden was confused. Very confused. He didn't understand the concept of names or regular hygiene. When asked about the name, "Diego", he shrugged and stayed silent and neutral. When asked what he wanted to do, he simply said,

"Hungry..." When she asked him about staying, he was really excited, but he suddenly got really nervous. His gaze swept the room until it settled on the door to the room. He stared at it, paranoia etched on his face. He kept staring as he whispered to her,

"Yes. I'd like that very much. Please." He felt like, at any moment, tall people were going to walk in and take him away. He then clasped his hands together really tight, looked her in the eye and whispered,

"...I need to pee."

In the event that he was shown where the bathroom was, he'd do his business and then climb up to the refresher sink because he was too small. A couple of things fell from place and clattered to the floor, but he finally used the towel to dry his hands. He looked at the fallen objects and quietly said,

"Uh oooooh..." He didn't want to upset her, so he tossed them up and into the sink and hoped that she wouldn't notice.

[member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Keira Priest]

The second she heard something fall Keira opened the door, not wanting him to have hurt himself, but when she saw him attempting to disguise the incident she merely smiled and put everything back in its proper place. "I think I'll run you a bath, and I'll make you some food while you get cleaned up. Then we can see what you feel like doing after." He was just a child, after all, and she had a feeling she would have to keep reminding herself of that fact until she became more adjusted to it. Moving around him she began to fill up the bath that doubled as a shower, making sure the water was warm enough so as to be comfortable and setting down the essentials, such as shampoo and soap, on the ledge and within arm's reach. She noted that those products would have to be bought for him as well.

After making certain that he knew how to clean himself up she made her way to the kitchenette, considering what to make before deciding on something as simple as macaroni and cheese. In truth she wasn't entirely sure in everything she was doing, but she knew enough to be aware of what the best options were. Or, at least, she liked to think so. In short order the food was ready, and she spooned a good portion onto a plate before setting it down on the table with a spoon and napkin, pouring a glass of blue milk to top everything off. It might not have been the greatest meal, but no one could say she wasn't giving it her best effort.

Once a few more minutes had passed she knocked quietly on the bathroom door, speaking loudly enough that he could hear, "Food's ready when you are. We'll have to get you some new clothes after you eat." Sizes would be a guessing game, but she knew which places to look, at least. This parenting game was very different from anything she had experienced in the past, indeed.

[member="Aiden Zarc"]

 

[Aiden Zarc]

Rats! He was caught; nabbed, even! He looked up at her with a guilty and sad "forgive me" face (as only a child can manage). But, she only smiled. He was safe. phew... Maybe she found it funny when he dropped things.

While he was taking a bath, he started scooting back and forth. He would then stop and smile as the tidal wave effect carried him back and forth. He did this a few times without knowing that he was accidentally spilling water over the sides of the tub. He finished with his bath and got dressed back in the only clothing he had left: the black sweat pants.

Spoiler

He left the bathroom and looked around the room. She wasn't there. He clasped his hands together nervously and held them tight to his chest. He slowly walked out of the room and stepped down each step with both feet, making his descent twice as slow. He didn't like to be alone in an unfamiliar house. He followed the sounds that she was making in the kitchen. When he saw her, he ran up to her and stopped at her side. He looked up at her and then looked to see what she was making. He remained silent, as was his nature.

[member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Keira Priest]

"Your food's on the table." Nodding towards where she had prepared his meal Keira remained where she was, placing the saucepan on the back burner and turning off the stove, seeming to concern herself nearly meticulously with making certain everything was in its place. Such mundane routine had previously never been her concern, but now that she retained the knowledge that she was responsible for much more than her own life, it had changed quickly. Suddenly detail mattered, her decisions carrying more weight than they ever had before. There was more responsibility to motherhood than she could have ever imagined, and somehow she had a feeling this child would belong to the family soon enough as well.

Momentarily she considered venturing to the bathroom in order to tidy things up, but something prompted her to remain with him, and so she sat down at the table as well. For a short while she toyed with her fingers, having everything to say but no words with which to put her thoughts forth. There really wasn't much of a point in inquiring after any loved ones he may have had to return to, because she knew that none likely remained. He was alone in the galaxy already, and it only seemed fitting that fate brought them together. "Do you want a mother? Is that what you want from me?" It was a sentiment she was unsure how to offer, but she would do what she could to abide by his wishes. It was only what was right.

[member="Aiden Zarc"]

 

[Aiden Zarc]

The meal was delicious! Aiden couldn't think of a meal that could possibly be better than macaroni & cheese! He kept eating and shoveling in fork full after fork full. He was pretty hungry. Jumping did that to him. When she popped him the question, he saw how serious she was and stopped eating. A bit of cheese sauce was stuck to his chin, but he didn't notice.

He looked at her with an uncomprehending look. He was really unsure of how to answer, so he asked in an innocently ignorant way,

"What's a moth...a ma...ma...What is that?"

[member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Keira Priest]

A sad smile was her only initial response, and Keira picked up the napkin sitting on the table, folding it over once and wiping away the food still stuck to his face. There was no simple answer to what she could sense was a genuinely curious inquiry on his part, and it tore at her to understand that this child had never known unconditional love and kindness such as that once in his life. Even she, a crime lord's daughter, had been granted that much. But it certainly did explain a lot, looking back on his behavior a mere hour earlier. "A mother is a very special person. She's someone that looks after you and cares about you no matter what. She'll always be there for you, to love and protect you." Except for, in her case, when the woman was murdered.

For a moment she looked down at her hands, unsure of how to best proceed from there. "I just want to make sure you have a chance to get what you really want out of life. A kid like you deserves a fair shot and a chance to start over from the beginning." It was the least she could do for him, though there was still no explainable reason as to why she felt no less than obligated to help him. Perhaps motherhood had brought out more of a nurturing side than she'd originally thought. "So, Diego," Her smile turned to one much more open and welcoming, and she looked to him. "Would you want something like that from me? You don't have to decide right now, but I want you to know you have the option. You always have a choice."

[member="Aiden Zarc"]

 

[Aiden Zarc]

Aiden was knowledgeable for his age, but this was a heavy concept to assimilate.

"That sounds nice..." was his first response before he let her continue talking. He turned back and finished his macaroni before looking and speaking to her again.

"But, they keep telling me that I don't have a choice..." He said that to her as if it was a perfectly normal thing to say and then he took his dishes to the middle of the kitchen. He looked around, but he didn't know where they were supposed to go. He turned back around and looked at [member="Keira Ticon"], saying,

"Where do I put these?"

 

[Keira Priest]

It seemed to her that he was agreed to the idea at first, and while she wouldn't immediately suggest the idea of adoption, it was something that had come to the forefront of her mind. The question would have to be raised at some point, but she would have to do her own digging first. However, when he spoke again, Keira was given pause. No indication of anything being out of place with what was said was given right away, and she only gently took the dishes from him, placing them in the sink. For a few moments she stood there, reaching out through the Force to gently touch on his presence. There seemed to be no indication of mental influence, which meant everything he was telling her was something he held as an irrevocable truth.

Stifling a quiet sigh she led him into the small common area and sat down on the couch, patting a spot next to her for him to sit as well. Assuming he did so she would offer a small smile, though there was a sadness behind her eyes that went far deeper than most would immediately notice. Whatever had happened to him, it was clear to her his one chance at a normal life had been stolen nearly immediately, and he was left with whatever had been substituted in its place. She was turning into the sort that had a habit of picking up the strays, which only seemed fitting, given that she fit under that label herself. "Could you tell me who exactly 'they' are, Diego?"

[member="Aiden Zarc"]

 

[Aiden Zarc]

(Yeah. I'm still experimenting with fonts and sizes. )

Aiden said,

"Oh, thanks..." as she took the dishes from his hands. He followed behind her and goofily thrusted himself up face first onto the couch. He, of course, face planted and said Oomf! as he smushed his face into the cushion. He then wriggled and squirreled around until he was looking up at [member="Keira Ticon"] and sitting still is his seat. It was goofy, but it was fun. He's a kid. Bite him. On second thought, don't do that. He's a kid. There's laws, man. You'd get a restraining order.

"Well, they're white people," replied Aiden. "Sometimes, they played with me...but the games weren't really fun." Aiden started to subconsciously rub the tattoos along his left arm. Not the bold, black lines, but the middle of the immaculate circle tattoos. "They took care of me, but they wouldn't let me leave. They got really mad when I walked around in the hallways one time..."

He started getting really nervous, so he bunched his legs up close to his chest and hugged them tightly while he stared at her.

"Do...do you really want to know what happened?"

 

[Keira Priest]

There was a pause where Keira considered all he revealed to her and attempted to match it up to any mental database she had acquired over the years. Nothing seemed to fit quite right, though a few suspicions came rather close. Her first thought had been the Kaminoans, and that sufficed to explain things well enough. From what had been described it seemed as if he was raised in a lab, and it would go a long way towards vindicating the tattoos that twisted down his arms and the suspicious attitude he seemed to hold towards most everyone. "Well, you don't have to worry about that here. If we play any games they'll always be fun, and you're free to come and go as you please. All I ask is that you stay safe."

When he shrank away she was given pause, though eventually she scooted closer to him, putting an arm around his shoulders in a gesture that could only be described as maternal. It was her unspoken way of demonstrating that he was safe with her, that he had nothing to fear, and that she would always welcome him with open arms. "I want you to know here and now that you don't have anything to fear from me. I promise I won't ever act like any of those people, and I won't ever stop you from being who and what you want. Because you're your own person, and nobody has the right to take that away." Force help this child if he chose her to be his mother, but nobody could say she wouldn't be fiercely protective and caring.

"Let's make a deal. To keep things fair, if you want to tell me what happened, you get to ask me anything you want to know about me, and I'll tell you. There won't be any secrets, I promise. Does that sound like a plan to you?"

[member="Aiden Zarc"]