Public The Audition [Open To All]

[Edmund Blastfodder]

Tags: Die Shize Nej Tane Kassogtha Cthylla Terry Xenos

Set #39 was about as bare-bones as one could reasonably film on. It was little more than a massive white tarp draped over the floor and back wall of a large duracrete room. In front of the tarp was a holocamera which was focused on a static shot angled to only display the white floor and background to leave no trace of the unsightly duracrete below.

In a folding chair not far from the holocamera sat Edmund Blastfodder: Director of Epic Holodramas. And today, he would be overseeing auditions for his next big project: Metalmorphers. The holodrama would tell the story of an invasion of giant shapeshifting droids from another galaxy, and provide Blastfodder an excuse to use an excessive amount of pyrotechnic explosives.

But before that could begin, Blastfodder needed a cast of actors. Looking down at the data tablet he was carrying, he reviewed the list of roles he hoped to fill:

• An "Everyman" protagonist who gets swept into the chaos of the Metalmorpher Invasion.
• A gunship pilot who provides comic relief with some snarky quips.
• A survivalist who has to survive behind enemy lines in Metalmorpher territory.
• An older military officer who leads the fight against the Metalmorphers.
• A "Evil Scientist" who sells out the rest of the Galaxy to side with the Metalmorphers.

Blastfodder was by no means picky about who showed up for this audition. In fact, he had specifically said that anyone could apply in the casting call he had sent out. He had already been informed about four prospective candidates showing up ahead of time, but it was definitely possible that more would show up.

Blastfodder’s Trandoshan bodyguard/assistant, Psarr, walked up to the left side of his chair and quietly hissed “The firsssst candidate hassss arrived. Should I let them in?” “Fantastic.” the Director replied. “Yes, let them in, please.” The Trandoshan gave a curt nod, and walked away in the direction of the door. Now this was where the fun began.

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

Kass slithered onto the set, her green and gray hide gleaming under the bright studio lights. Her daughter was a famous actress back on their homeworld - maybe the talent ran in the family. It was a little late for her to launch a career in showbiz, but she figured she'd give it a shot.

"Kassogtha Cthylla, auditioning for the role of Everyman," she introduced herself, her numerous mouths curling into smiles. Grabbing a copy of the script, she went to do a cold reading before the auditions began.

Edmund Blastfodder​

 

[Fire]

Spoiler: Music IC - Fire's Helmeted Earpiece

He could see the title now behind his visor and eyes in bold letters: Metalmorphers. Pfft. Not so tough though. He would take them to the funeral pyre or, rather, his character would, because Fire had come to this showbiz whozitwotzit for the audition of none other than an everyman protagonist.

He was also no less than excited for the show and the business to come. There was profit to be had in moviemaking, holodramas, television shows and viewscreen shows and stage plays and, granted, he really only knew about how to perform for the latter rather than the former. However, Fire wasn’t afraid of being in front of a camera. Kind of like this one time he waved at his mother and father during a news report of this one Invasion that he found himself wound up in or whatever but nobody would remember him in it.

Anyway, fast forward from the brave stage of Corellia where he starred in Back to the Past and also a late play on Nar Shaddaa where he played a Hutt but wasn’t fooling anyone and here he comes, Fire, an actor slash action sports star. Where did the sports fit in with this definition like a Sith using the dark side of the Force to bake a yummy wummy cake? Who the kark knows? Most of the time Fire doesn’t even recognize the words inside his own mind, never mind the disposition of some dumb Jedi.

“Hi,” Fire waved to the guys who did things behind the scenes. “Here for Role A: Everyman protag.” Edmund Blastfodder’s Holodrama Crew was their name and they were made up of a droid-thing, Muun, Mon Calamari, Rodian and Trandoshan. “Coffee. Black.” He snapped his fingers at the Muun. “Actually. No. Tea. Earl Grey.” To the Mon Calamari. “Wait. Nuh. Make that a Diet Coke.” He promptly blinked behind his helmet. “We do have Diet Coke in this galaxy, surely?”

Fire fell silent, maybe because the EBHC snapped back at him for snapping his fingers at them like a galactic celebrity already, but mainly because of the appropriately disgusting if terrifying sentient seaweed which had arrived in time for him to not hear speak so he presumed it to be an NPC to help with his audition.

“Oh. Right.” Fire nodded, quite satisfied. “Something for me to act against. I dig it. No giant shapeshifting droid but this giant tentacle thing will do as a substitute.” At that, Fire roared, dove and struck an appropriate pose with his blaster raised at the creature Kassogtha Cthylla but he did not fire.

“FREEZE MOTHER KRIFFER” He took aim at the Pylantian creature. “I MAY BE SWEPT UP ON CHAOS BUT I’LL HAVE YOUR ASS, LONGSHANKS” While listening to music in his helmeted if integrated earpiece.

Edmund Blastfodder Kassogtha Cthylla Nej Tane Terry Xenos

 

[Nej Tane]

Nej realized too late he left his reading glasses at home.

"Hello I'm Nej Tane, and I am here to audition for the role of the Gunship."

Brief pause when he glanced back at the script in his hand, with a lot of hand-written notes in various colors on it.

"Gunship, pilot. I mean. With sparky whips."

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

Kass held the copy of the script, her eyes carefully scanning the page. In one tentacle she clutched a yellow marker, which she used to highlight her lines. She was quite intent on doing this properly. Unfortunately, her focus was being disrupted by a loud individual in a red jacket.

No, not Nej Tane . The one with the comic book villain-esque mask.

She glanced up at the rambunctious Human, who was now posing and shouting and waving a blaster in her direction. All of her eyes blinked at once, either bewildered or thoroughly unamused. "I hope that is a prop gun, young man," she said. It certainly looked real.

Fire​

 

[Terry Xenos]

Edmund Blastfodder Die Shize Nej Tane Kassogtha Cthylla

Terry had spent a rough night, and he arrived at the studio wearing shades and clutching a cup of caff. He sipped on it as he was let inside, the aroma barely lifting his fatigue. Accepting a script, he glanced it over before slipping the booklet into his leather jacket. A great yawn passed his lips, which he covered with one hand. Initially, he had become a movie star out of necessity to get closer to a target. Unfortunately for him, the role had grown beyond its original purpose. What began as a cover became a career, and now, Terry found himself navigating the complexities of fame under his acting stage name, Alexander Young.

The studio's polished floors gleamed under the bright lights, and people bustled around, prepping for the day's shoot. Terry's shades shielded him from the harsh light and prying eyes that recognized him as Alexander Young, the rising star. He had to continue gigs like this one to maintain his persona and stay close to his ultimate goal.

He took another sip of caff, the bitter liquid providing a much-needed jolt to his system. His phone buzzed, reminding him of his true mission. He couldn't let himself forget the endgame.

As he walked further into the studio, he spotted the director, Edmund Blastfodder, and several other actors, including Kassogtha Cthylla and Fire, preparing for their auditions. The lines between his dual lives blurred further with each passing moment, but Terry knew that to achieve his goal, he had to play the part convincingly.

Terry stepped forward, making his way to the audition table. "Alexander Young, here to audition for the role of the survivalist," he announced.

 

[Edmund Blastfodder]

OOC: I’m really sorry that I took such a long time to post here. I became distracted with other stuff, and then I had a nasty sickness which drained my creative energy. Hopefully, nothing else will get in the way on my end.


Tags: Fire , Nej Tane , Kassogtha Cthylla , Terry Xenos

Blastfodder silently watched as the prospective actors walked in one by one. First to arrive was Kassogtha Cthylla, an odd plant-based alien whose species was unfamiliar to Blastfodder. But as long as she could competently read from scripts and run from explosions, her species was of little concern. Next was Fire, a masked man who carried himself with a distinctive swagger, but seemed to fall short in the common sense department. Third through the door was Nej Thane, a Human man who… seemed to be struggling to read the script? Maybe he just needed a strong cup of stimcaff, like the one “Alexander Young” clutched in his hand as he entered the studio. With him, all four of the scheduled arrivals were there.

Blastfodder waited for about 30 minutes, both to allow any unscheduled auditionees time to arrive, and to allow the ones that were here proper time to review their audition scripts. Once he was confident that enough time had passed, he rose from his folding chair, and addressed the actors. “Good morning. I am Director Blastfodder, and I’ll be directing auditions today. I trust that you have familiarized yourselves with the parts you will be trying out for?” Blastfodder paused for confirmation. “To start things off, those of you trying out for the part of the “Everyman” should line up here.” he said, pointing to an area just out of range of the holocamera. “Whichever one of you wants to go first, step onto the white tarp and get ready to do Sample Scene #3.” he finished.

Blastfodder sat back down in his chair, as the camera operator, Uji, prepared to record the auditions. Holding his copy of the script, Blastfodder paged to Sample Scene #3, which had the following lines:

Everyman: So, just how bad is the situation with the Metalmorphers?

Military Officer: It’s bad alright. This is probably the closest our galaxy has gotten to the End Times since the Gulag Plague.

Everyman: Hard to believe that I was grilling Bantha burgers with my friends a week ago. Now… now I don’t even know if they’re still alive.

Military Officer: Well, there’s only one thing we can do about it now.

Everyman: What’s that? Fight?

Military Officer: You’d better believe it.

Everyman: But what good can I do against these things? Just one of them wiped my hometown off the face of the planet. They make the Brynâdul look like a joke!

Military Officer: I know things are looking bleak. But the scientists think they have worked out a way to kill these things. With any luck, we’ll be able to start launching counterattacks in the next few weeks.

Everyman: So, the Metalmorphers might not be as invincible as we thought? Then you can count on me to help crack’em open!

 

[Fire]

Wait. There was a role for gunship? Maybe that’s what Fire should have run with all along in hindsight. Sure, a gunship pilot was one thing, but a gunship? Oh. Right. Nej Tane promptly clarified. Meanwhile Fire (first name? Last name? whatever) was facing off against the sentient cabbage. Man was it a menace.

“Prop gun?” Fire, still on the floor, looked toward the blaster in his grip. “Sure.” Was his only answer.

Next came Alexander Young, auditioning for the role of survivalist, and everybody needed one with or without a real gun. Alexander Young, huh? Sounds made up. Though if the name was then this dude was in the right studio.

Blasters. Bantha fodder. Queue Director Blastfodder. That HAS to be made up. Whatever, Fire just nodded on the floor. Yet he did figure he had already auditioned for the party of “Everyman” given the splendor of his performance and hold the chorus. He wasn’t finished yet. Oh well. Guess I gotta demonstrate another scene with my ace in the sleeve.

Fire got up, dusted himself off, lined up there where the line was for Sample Scene #3. He would easily beat these other actors who ever dared to audition for this position. At that, Fire got into position onto the white tarp. It could use some smoothing but he wouldn’t judge anyone for it.

“AHEM.” He cleared his throat, held up his script, shifted his feet, stood front and center, ready for this.

“So, just how bad is the situation with the Metalmorphers?”
Fire asked, made sure to enunciate, a slight tilt of his head to the side.

Military Officer: It’s bad alright. This is probably the closest our galaxy has gotten to the End Times since the Gulag Plague.

“Gulag plague?” Fire blinked. “You mean Rakghoul plague? What's a 'gulag' anyway?”

“STICK TO THE SCRIPT PLEASE”
Said somebody.

“Hard to believe…”
Fire breathed easily into his helmet, taking a moment of reflection.
“That I was grilling bantha burgers with my friends about a week ago…”
Jack. Jill. Brian. Simon.
He shook his head.
Time? When does it end?
"Now…now I don't even know if they're…still…"
Fire sighed, dipped his head.
“...Alive…”

Military Officer: Well, there’s only one thing we can do about it now.

“What’s that?”
Fire shook his fist.
“BURN THEM ALIVE— I mean, FIGHT!?”

Military Officer: You’d better believe it.

“But what good can I do against these things!?”
Fire slapped himself in the helmet.
“Just ONE OF THEM wiped out my HOMETOWN off the face of the PLANET.”
He slammed his boot onto the ground.
“They make the…”
He blinked, gaze down.
“...The Brine…Breen…Bryon...Bryn...Brynazgûl…”

“Brynâdul!”

“Look like a JOKE!”

Military Officer: I know things are looking bleak. But the scientists think they have worked out a way to kill these things. With any luck, we’ll be able to start launching counterattacks in the next few weeks.

'So, the Metalmorphers might not be as invincible as we thought? Then you can count on me to help crack’em open!'

That was the next line for the Everyman in the script but, instead of saying it, Fire cracked his knuckles, made his fingers strain, but whatever.

“What is this!?” He pointed at his environment. “A center for TOURISTS!?” He looked left, looked right, decided to improvise. “We need to strike back against these TERRORISTS at ONCE! In the next few days! Not weeks!”

He palmed his fist.

“Counterstrike! Guerilla tactics and I don’t mean Kordans! These Metalhead Transformers might not be as invincible as we thought but they are powerful! And we—” He beat his chest for effect. “—Need to crack their heads open, blot out the sun, fight in the shade if we must, and show these “queens” [censored] why we are the GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY!”

Fire dropped his mic. If he had one, that was. If he didn't then he just pretended.

Edmund Blastfodder Kassogtha Cthylla Nej Tane Terry Xenos

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

Fire certainly was a... colorful character. Perhaps that was what Mr. Edmund Blastfodder was looking for.

After he completed his audition, Kass slithered up. She had memorized her lines (hopefully) and was ready to go. To stave off nervousness, she called upon the Force for calm - but then stopped doing that, afraid it would make her seem too much like a serene Jedi Master to suit such a dramatic scene. The Everyman wasn't used to being thrust into such exciting, dangerous circumstances. Her anxiety would be beneficial to her performance. Right?...

"So... just how bad is the situation with the Metalmorphers?" she asked tentatively.

The actor standing in for the military officer was still staring at her, stumped by her alien appearance. "It’s, uh, it's bad alright. This is probably the closest our galaxy has gotten to the End Times since the Gulag Plague."

"Hard to believe that I was grilling Bantha burgers with my friends a week ago. Now… now I don’t even know if they’re still alive." As she spoke the line, she thought of old friends that had perished in the countless star wars that had occurred in her lifetime. She found herself wiping away a few tears that threatened to fall from her various eyes.

"Well, there’s only one thing we can do about it now."

"What’s that?" She paused, then softly added, "Fight?" All her life, she'd been unable to fight. She couldn't join her fellow Jedi on the battlefield. It wasn't her place. She'd only get herself killed.

"You’d better believe it."

"But what good can I do against these things? Just one of them wiped my hometown off the face of the planet. They make the Bryn'âdul look like a joke!" She made sure to pronounce the name of the infamous crab horde perfectly.

"I know things are looking bleak. But the scientists think they have worked out a way to kill these things. With any luck, we’ll be able to start launching counterattacks in the next few weeks."

"So, the Metalmorphers might not be as invincible as we thought? Then you can count on me to help crack’em open!" After saying the final line, she frowned. "It seems a little quick to go from hopelessness to this gung-ho shoot 'em up attitude. If the Everyman is a... well, an everyman, then should they be more reluctant and uncertain? What's the character arc here?"

Nej Tane Terry Xenos

 

[Edmund Blastfodder]

Tags: Fire , Nej Tane , Kassogtha Cthylla , Terry Xenos

Blastfodder intently watched the auditions of both Fire and Kassogtha Cthylla. Fire’s intense bravado made it obvious where the name originated, and despite the fact that he went completely off-script, Blastfodder couldn’t help but chuckle a bit to himself. This guy had flair, and the director appreciated that.

By contrast, Cthylla followed the script down to the letter. In fact, she followed it a bit better than the stand-in actor for the Military Officer did. She obviously didn’t have the same bombastic flair as Fire, but she was much better at showing the Everyman’s down-to-earth qualities. When she asked about the Everyman’s character arc, the editor Brodill Untepgraff interjected “These sample scripts aren’t going to be the final product, you see. Some important tweaks are going to be made between now, and when we actually begin filming. Those tweaks should make the transition more gradual and natural.”

With the Everyman auditions done, it was time to move on to the next role: the Gunship Pilot. Addressing the prospective actors, Blastfodder said “Alright, now that that’s out of the way, it’s now time for those of you auditioning for the role of the Gunship Pilot. Assemble in a line over there, and get ready to do Sample Scene #5.”

As the camera operator once again prepared to record, Blastfodder turned to Sample Scene #5 in his copy of the script, which had the following lines:

Gunship Pilot: Good afternoon passengers. This is your captain speaking, wishing you well on your pos-it-tively riveting journey to the frontlines of battle.

Soldier #1: Damnit. We’ve got a pilot with a mouth on him!

Gunship Pilot: Oh yes you did, and for your information, I also have ears which happen to be connected to the passenger cabin via two-way radio!

Soldier #2: Hey, Pilot. How long do you think this flight is going to take? I didn’t use the toilet back at Base, and now I’m really starting to regret that!

Gunship Pilot: Well, taking into consideration the weather patterns, the number of passengers, and the possibility of a soldier sticking his posterior out the disembarkation door mid-flight, I would say that we will be there in about 30 minutes.

(All soldiers laugh)

Soldier #3: If we run into any Metalmorphers on the way there, do you think you can get us past them?

Gunship Pilot: Relax, kid. This gunship has enough weapons strapped to it to punch a hole through an orbalisk wearing beskar armor.

Soldier #1: What the hell is an orbalisk?

Gunship Pilot: It’s one of the few living things which naturally forms armor thicker than your skull.