Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved NPC The Bryn'adûl | Servitor Guardians

Status
Not open for further replies.
The Bryn'adûl | Servitor Guardians
jia-hao-2018-spikeworm-comp-01.jpg


OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: To beef up the Servitors
  • Image Credit: X
  • Role: Construct and Land Destroyer
  • Permissions: N/A
  • Links: [Embedded Throughout]
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Unit Name: Servitor Guardians
  • Affiliation: The Bryn'adûl
  • Classification: Ground-breaker
  • Description: The Guardian is a rarer, tougher and meaner breed of Servitor. These are direct descendants of the Servitor King, Hadad. These Guardians are roughly 1,000 metres in length and have distinctly toothed mouths, these creatures front teeth [as seen in above photo] are superheated by the creature as an offensive mechanism, tearing through anything and everything in their path.
COMBAT INFORMATION: .
  • Unit Size: Small
  • Unit Availability: Unique
  • Unit Experience: Veteran
  • Equipment: N/A

  • Combat Function: Servitor Guardians are what are used when the typical Servitor cannot get the job done, or a greater task is required. Guardians are larger, tougher and faster. These Guardians can sink entire mega-cities by themselves over time and can create earthquakes, tearing open chasms to swallow enemy forces whole.
Strengths:
  • Tough Hide: The Guardian Servitors are much more durable than their smaller cousins. Their skin is a thick, heavy hide that can withstand anything short of an orbital bombardment. The Guardians skin itself is nearly impenetrable, any deaths of their kind typically being a result of massive blunt force, which of course an orbital bombardment is capable of.
  • Break Through: Guardians have what could be considered essentially molten insides, able to melt and eat just about anything they come in contact with.
  • Rend the Ground: The Guardians can upon command cause earthquakes or cause a chasm to rip open the ground beneath them. They can also cause smaller sink-holes to appear in a variety of sizes.
  • Best Defence: This creatures are non-conventional warfare assets, not required to physically surface to attack enemies.
  • Internal Ecosystem: The interior of these Guardians has its own ecosystem of creatures, eating whatever gets trapped inside.
Weaknesses:
  • Dumb: These creatures are sub-sentient for a reason, designed to have malleable and easily controlled minds that respond to control with passive release. This means that, these creatures are naturally quiet dull-witted.
  • Blind: The creatures are blind, only having the senses of hearing and smell to discern their surroundings. Normally, without guidance these creatures stay underground and away from loud noises.
  • Acid: Praedilacyt's have a weakness for large amounts of highly corrosive acidic substances, due to the nature of their rock-like armour, it can easily be burnt through by acid and in turn severely harm the creature.
  • Rumble: When these things are close to the surface, a standard humanoid can typically feel the ground quake, giving sufficient warning of their approach.
  • Sonic Decent: Sonic weaponry are a viable option, able to disrupt their available senses.
HISTORICAL INFORMATION:
Following the battle of Yurb in 861ABY, the Chieftain of the Bryn'adûl oversaw the beginnings of a mass diversification of their forces under various commanders. One such element was the creation of different types of underground units such as the Dredge, Guardians and various other beasts that are used in various deviant styled tactics under the command of Field Commanders such as Primarch Drek'ma and the Emissary; Galak.

The Guardians were the beginning of these investments. They built upon the strengths of the Servitors and closed the gap between the original
Writhing Servitors, Sentinels and Hadad, generating a new line of powerful Guardians to help in their crusading war efforts.
 
Last edited:

Zak Dymo

Guest
Z
Tathra Khaeus Tathra Khaeus

My apologies for your wait. As I mentioned, this is exceptional, but I think a few additional links would help to tie this all together.

1. Links.

The weakness makes clear that this is a breed of praedilacyt wyrm, something that all of the Servitors seem to share in common. As such, I'd appreciate if you could include that species submission here, annotating that these are bred to be larger. Since you reference the Servitors as a whole, I'd also recommend including the other "breeds" (for lack of a better term): Writhing and Sentinel.

Not related to this submission, but on that note I would also recommend doing a sub mod for the species sub, so that you can build it out with the different variants of praedilacyts that we appear to have at the moment. For the given intent ("To beef up the Servitors") a good option there is to develop the underlying species and with the 3 different Servitor varieties that I believe we have at present, you're well positioned to do so.

2. Cautionary Note.
Probably no surprise here, given that "these Guardians can sink entire mega-cities by themselves over time and can create earthquakes, tearing open chasms to swallow enemy forces whole" and "their skin is a thick, heavy hide that can withstand anything short of an orbital bombardment" but I do want to quote the Codex rule regarding powerful submissions, because this is that.

Species possessing extreme/unique powers, abilities, or attributes are advised to be balanced with suitable strengths and weaknesses. When creating your species consider actionable PvP related weaknesses to balance PvP related strengths.

You've had me for a Codex Judge before, so I'm sure you recall that we don't judge on the basis of balance. I'm merely putting that reminder out there because I do see the potential for this submission to be reported to an RPJ, and that could lead to this submission being pulled and reviewed by staff, which we do try to avoid when we can.

Over to you for what you take from the review. All of the above are merely suggestions and are not required. When you let me know your edits are complete, I'll put a stamp on this and we'll move on.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom