Private The Burdens We Bear

[Caelan Valoren]

ATTIRE: Link
TAGS: Arhiia Voronwe

​

The journey home had been hard. Between bouts of having his arm worked on by healers and medical droids, he'd slept in an uncomfortable cot, doing everything he could to avoid disturbing his shoulder or arm. The pain had grown more intense as they'd worked on it, reconstructing nerve pathways, replacing lost bone with metal. His body was forever altered as a result of his decision to go to Tython, and so was his mind. The innocent boy who'd run away from those attacking him, who'd hid in the depths of Coruscant only taking what he needed to survive, who tried his best to make everyone happy, was gone. That boy wasn't coming back. In an instant of shock and horror, he had mentally aged in order to survive.

Through it all, he only thought of one person, and that was Arhiaa. Not himself, not his mother, not his sisters, just her. He longed to be near her again, if only for the comfort of her strength, but he knew that when they saw each other once more, it would be difficult. Part of him understood what it was like to be a soldier coming back from battle knowing some of his friends had died around him, the burden of taking that knowledge home to tell his friends wives and husbands and children the news of their demise. He knew because he was having to do the same thing himself.

The day after his return from Tython, early in the morning when the temple was quiet, he went to the archives and found the table they had shared. He lay a blue rose atop a handwritten note, and left the archives, only telling the head archivist of what he had done. The note was simple, written in a shaky hand because he could still only use his left, but asked her to come to the gardens to meet with him. It was what they had discussed doing the last time they'd seen each other before he went away. Probably she had wondered where he had gone, but he hoped she didn't think he had run away from her. He hadn't. He never would.

The note delivered, he left for the gardens, wandering among the flowers for a time, searching for a spot where he could wait for her in relative seclusion. What he found was a bench in a small area with a dozen or so rose bushes, and a small fountain which trickled water across its surface to land upon smooth stones underneath, each of those stones slowly being worn down into smaller, smoother forms of themselves, like a polisher would do with a gemstone.

He stared at the water as he sat on the bench, his eyes distant. His right arm was still in a sling, as parts of him were still working on healing naturally. Within the sling, nestled beside his arm, was the lightsaber that had belonged to Iston Voronwe, Arhiaa's father. His mind had drifted back to that day on Tython, those fateful moments where he'd been injured, Annie had been attacked, and Iston had fallen. Those words he'd said echoed in Caelan's mind: Give this... to, my daughter...please... It was a task he would entrust to no other. This was something he had to do, not Annie, not Roman, not any of the others. Just him. He'd promised her father he would take care of her, an that was what he intended to do, which meant he had to be there for her when she found out.

And so he sat, mentally reliving it all again, waiting.

 

[Arhiia Voronwe]

​

Tags: Caelan Valoren
Location: Archives | Gardens
Objective: Meeting
​

It had been sometime since she last saw Caelan — which worried her.

The war on Tython loomed over the temple like a shadow.

Her own Father had come to see her prior to leaving for Tython.

“Arhiia — I leave for Bogan soon. Like your mother, you are strong. You are a good child, with a good heart. I know I’m hard on you my rose, but it’s only because I see the best in you and want the best for you.”

She hadn’t said much to him… other than to wish him luck and for safety. He had told her while on Bogan, the dark moon, he would be helping to retake back the temples that the Dark Empire had tainted. He was capable, he was strong — but he was also getting up there in age, and something afflicted him whether he would tell her or not, she knew and it worried her.

They had their differences, but she loved him all the same.

Here lately their relationship had improved. She found herself talking to him more in the mornings while getting ready, walking with him down the halls and enjoying his quiet presence in the evening times. Kel had been right — all she needed was to look past her own pain and see his and love him where he was at.

Her father — the Force Brigadier, whether she would openly admit it, she was proud and knew he would help out where he could but impatiently awaited his return… but even then, something deep down ate at her, gnawed, gave pause.

Which brought her to Caelan.

She and several other Padawans she knew were not chosen to go to war on Tython… but that being said, she hadn’t seen Caelan. Not during class changes, on the sparring mats, mess hall… no where.

As she came to the Archives like the always did, clockwork — she paused at her table as she peered down at the blue rose, a flutter felt in her chest as her delicate hand came down and picked it up — moving it to her nose as she took a slow and deep inhale of its floral scent. Then… she saw the note.

“Meet me at the gardens.”

Leaving her books on the table, she cradled the rose as she exited quickly from the Archives and straight for the Gardens, a soft smile etched on her lips. It was Caelan — she just knew it.

As she entered the Gardens, her breath hitched just slightly and strands of her hair loosened from her bun — she peered around, her eyes intently looking for Calean until she spotted him by the fountain. Rushing over, her mind raced and her heart thrummed steadily in her chest.

He hadn’t forgotten about her — and this romantic gesture, her favorite flower, maybe he’d been away with his Master and had been unable to contact her. But — these were short lived theories as her smile slowly faded.

He was rough. His arm was in a sling. His countenance had fallen… and his eyes… were different. Distant, hurt and sad. As she stood in front of him holding her rose that he’d picked for her, she spoke, her voice ringing out in the air.

“Caelan… what happened to you? Is this why I haven’t seen you lately? Did you get hurt on a training mission?” Her questions fishing for an answer as her eyes continued to scan him over — something slowly beginning to creep within her as she began to pull back. “Where have you been Caelan?”

​

 

[Caelan Valoren]

ATTIRE: Link
TAGS: Arhiia Voronwe

He didn't know how long he'd sat there. Long enough. Not that he was upset about having to wait, he'd anticipated that, just that he'd lost track of the time, watching the water bubble and spill over the sides of the fountain. In his mind all he could see was blood spewing up, splashing on stone, dousing everything in gore. It was a terrible thing to see over and over again, but he didn't shy away from it, just stared as if mesmerized.

In reality he wasn't really seeing it. His mind was, but he wasn't even paying attention to his mind, locked deep into his subconscious. All he could think about was her, and what he was going to have to tell her. How much it was going to hurt her. How much it hurt him to have to be the one to hurt her. But he would do it because, at the end of the day, he cared more about her than he did himself, and more than the people back on Lazerian, which might not have been a good thing, but it was the truth.

When he felt her approaching, he came back to reality. The water in the fountain was just water, not blood. There were flowers surrounding them, not carnage, and she was really there. She spoke, and he sighed. Not because of what she said, but because her voice made him feel safe, grounded in reality. It was relief that coursed through him, knowing that here, with her, was not the death that was there.

His eyes found hers before he spoke.

"I went to Tython."

Those words hung heavy in the air. He should not have gone. Even before he left he knew that, but his desire to help was so overwhelming that he just couldn't resist it no matter how hard he tried. Annie was going, so he went too. It was a fateful mistake, one he had learned much from, one that continued to hurt his soul even still. No amount of healing could fix the horror that he'd witnessed and experienced. Only time and acceptance that this was part of the life he now lead could fix that.

"I wanted to help the healers, had planned to stay far from danger," he said, lifting his left hand and opening it out to her for her to take, eyes pleading with her to do so. "But danger found me, again. I ended up pulled into the fighting alongside Anneliese and two others. I didn't want to go, but Annie wouldn't let me leave her side for fear of something happening to me. But it did. We were attacked by three Sith. One of them attacked from behind Annie and when I tried to stop him, he stabbed me through the shoulder."

He realized he'd involuntarily left out the fact that one of those he was with was her father. Perhaps he didn't want to tell her that yet, or perhaps it just was that hard to bring the words out. Probably both. He wanted to make sure he had her close to him before he told her, because he was afraid that she would run off somewhere and he would have a hard time following her. How could he be there for her, if he couldn't be with her? The weight of Iston's saber within his sling threatened to pull him down further.

"We survived, the two of us, out of the four in total. Just Annie and I."

Survived wasn't quite the right word for it. There was no surviving what he had seen, not in full. His body had made it through, his care for her had, but his mind had been broken, his spirit shattered. Parts of it had come back together, but the rest would take a long time, and he hoped that she would be part of the process of healing.

 

[Arhiia Voronwe]

​

Tags: Caelan Valoren
Location: Gardens
​

Her countenance fell when the words Tython escaped his lips. Her fist tightened as her fingers cracked, her lip twisting with anger as her eyes sharpened on him — a worried, hurt and angered tone breaking forth as her voice quivered.

“That wasn’t very well thought out.” The kindest way she could think to call his actions stupid. Upon hearing the details however, her heart dropped to her stomach as her sharp gaze befell his arm which was slung in place.

Pushing her anger down, she walked quietly over to him as she place her delicate hands on his shoulder — fastidiously examining it, as if she somehow she didn’t trust the healers competency when it came to Caelan. Her eyes were calculating as she stared up at him and spoke. “It seems fine — but I would make sure you keep up with your physical therapy so you gain full use of the arm and muscle back.” She paused as her eyes went back to his arm, concern and sympathy in her tone. “I will help oversee your therapy visits — to make sure your not taking any short cuts.”

As he continued to unfold the events that happened, he mentioned several names. “Sounds to me that I owe a debt of gratitude to this Annie person… I hope you thanked her as well.”

However, as he continued, his tone began to sour.

The way he explained it, she felt that he began to omit key details — not from lack of knowledge she felt, because Caelan was detailed like her, she appreciated that trait… but he knew something about the ones that fell in the line of duty. “Did you know the ones that fell?” He question fishing for answers.

Dead silence hung in the air, tension now looming over head — palpable, heavy.

Her mind went to her Father once again… if Caelan was back, that meant others were as well. Why hasn’t she heard from her Father yet? She did her best to dismiss the growing fear in her mind, it did nothing. It served no purpose. Her father was probably still on the front lines helping to clean the mess up, commanding others as he did so well.

The pit ever growing in her stomach.

​

 

[Caelan Valoren]

ATTIRE: Link
TAGS: Arhiia Voronwe

"It wouldn't have bothered me if you said it more strongly," he said, watching her eyes. "I know it was foolish of me to have gone."

That was something that literally everyone had made apparent to him, himself included. Going hadn't been the right thing to do even if he'd thought he could help out. Wanting to contribute didn't mean he had to go into a warzone. Contributing should have meant he remained at the temple and went about his studies so he could be better prepared in the future, so that he could go out there once he knew how to handle himself and what needed to be done wouldn't shock him as greatly as it had.

His hand fell into his lap as she fussed over him. In part he was happy for it. The concern she expressed for him made him feel warm inside where he'd only been feeling cold lately. The medical staff had done a good job of fixing him, but she was right that it would take a lot of physical therapy to get his arm back into working order. And he didn't mind the help.

"I would be grateful if you would go to them with me. Your presence brings me no small amount of comfort, Arhiaa. As for Annie, she's my adoptive big sister, Anneliese Kaohal. She's also a padawan, though much more experienced. She was injured as well, though will recover, same as I."

Until now. Now he had experience in things he didn't really want to have experienced. Once again, the visions filled his mind and he ground his teeth and closed his eyes for a moment, working to make them go away. In time, he knew, they would go. In time. Time is a valuable thing. There was only so much of it in a day, in a lifetime even. His parents had proven that when their lives were cut unexpectedly short. He couldn't take a single minute for granted. There was that old adage: live like you're dying. He felt that was his life now.

When she asked if he knew the ones that fell, he nodded. He didn't know the Knight who had fallen, though he had every intent on finding out their name so that he could remember it. But the other? That was a large part of why he was there. Their meeting having two purposes: his need to see her, and his need to tell her the news.

With a deep breath, he stood, facing her as the weight of what he was about to do came crashing down upon him. The words from both Iston and his mother, about being strong, rang in his head and he steeled his countenance knowing that the strength he needed wasn't for himself, but for her. She needed him now, and she needed him not to wallow in the misery of what he had experienced. For her, he resolved to do that. For her, he would do anything, including lay down his life if need be.

"I did know one of them," he said, as he reached his good hand into his sling and pulled out Iston's lightsaber, holding it in his hand and offering it to her. "His name was Iston Voronwe, and he fell in battle on Tython while killing a Sith. Before he died, he gave this to me, to return to his daughter, because he loves her, and wants her to know that."

With those words he fell silent, watching her, preparing to face her reaction, open to the fact that it was within her rights to hate him since her father had died to defend him and Annie. He would still be there for her.

 

[Arhiia Voronwe]

​

Tags: Caelan Valoren
Location: Gardens | Prosperity

​

She grinned slightly when he relinquished and said she could go with him to his physical therapy — she was used to winning arguments, nothing her father frequently mentioned when she would stand her ground like an unmovable mountain.

That and it made her feel special.

He mentioned the name Annie once again and then further expounded on his relationship with her. Adoptive sister? When did this happen? It must have been recently because Arhiia didn’t recall the name ever being mentioned prior, either that or to her chagrin she’d forgotten it which in her book, wasn’t alright.

However, what took place next, nothing, no amount of bracing, steadying herself — nothing would have prepared her for it.

As he reached in his sling after he stood up, he began to pull something out until as he did, her heart broke — rend from her chest and stomped on the ground before her eyes was an extremely and intimately familiar lightsaber… her fathers.

Shock overtook her entire body as all hint of emotion faded from her face, her usually intense sapphire eyes completely taken back.

Ashla — great mother — I - it’s hard to breathe. No… it, it can’t be… please by the force, not him.

She internally said as her face, drained of all color stared at the saber in his hand. It was strange, she stood still yet the ground beneath her seemed to be yanked out from her. She felt like falling… and there was nothing to catch her.

She let out a shaky breath finally, her breath seen now visibly as the area around them began to get eerily cold — the expression in her eyes growing cold, harsh and volatile… her voice stinging out into the air like an animal clawing its way out from her throat.

“Liar.” She said, like the crack of a whip. “Your lying — he, he can’t be… dead.” The words slapping her in the face more than anything.

She took another sharp breath as her body quivered, the fountain behind Caelan now freezing over slightly as the area around the temperature beginning to plummet — beautiful planets and fauna frosting over — a violent reaction to the storm that now built and raged within Arhiia.

“LIAR!” Denial still clinging to her as she stepped back, her face contorted with grief as tears began to roll down her cheeks, the saber clenched in her hand. “He — can’t be…” Her eyes narrowed at Caelan. “It’s your fault.” The words emphasized on every syllable… but she didn’t mean it, but the anger spewing out of her lips like poison.

She felt dizzy but the anger continued to swell within her as the ground around her began to react violently to the eerie power that now poured freely from her. The hurt and loss of her mother, and the guilt she’d carried — and now, the loss of her only parent, a man she’d treated poorly and now would never be able to make it up too.

“No…. Daddy….”

Clutching her head and her chest she backed up as a sob tore from her mouth, her eyes filled with unbridled hate and anger. Hate for the war in Tython, hate for how she’d been, anger for the things she said, anger for Iston going to war and leaving her alone now.

Formations of ice jutted up and from the ground around her as a breeze picked up — the unforgiving cold that emanated from her an outward extension of the deep turmoil within.

A group of Padawans that became onlookers to the scene all murmured and spoke in hushed and worried tones as one ran off, presumably to get a Master as she heard their whispers echoing in her ear as a hurt look came upon her face, her eyes fixing on them as she screamed aloud, the moan coming out amplified by the force as glass windows shattered the garden green house.

“Shut up! Leave me alone! Go away!!!”

A crystalline structure of ice barreled straight at them as they all dispersed and fell to the ground to dodge the attack. She’d been a victim in the past of being called weird, cold, distant… she wasn’t in the mood to suffer their sneeeinf or their teasing… she wanted everyone to feel her pain, to feel what it felt like to have your heart torn from your chest and broken.

Shards of ice spun around Arhiia as she stared down at the ground, tears freezing the moment they came out as she stared at the saber, remembering her fathers voice, lost in her own trance.

“My flower, my great love — you look so much like your mother.”

“You must be strong, you must endure.”

“As the force wills — as is my duty…”

“Believe in yourself, you are stronger than I could ever be my love.”

“I am proud of you Arhiia…”

“Even in the darkness, there is light. You must become that light…”

Iston was gone, and she was alone.

She was alone.

​

 

[Caelan Valoren]

ATTIRE: Link
TAGS: Arhiia Voronwe

The reaction wasn't unexpected. The stare. He understood. When he'd been told his parents were dead? It was the same reaction. The stare, the slow cognitive process of connecting the dots. The overwhelming hurt that flooded into him knowing they were gone, that he was alone. Then the denial. It was natural. Her words, when she called him a liar, cut him deeper than a lightsaber ever could. Not because she believed what she said, but because he knew her pain.

A coldness seeped into the air around them, emanating from her. The fountain? Frozen. Even he shivered for a moment, trying to fight the cold away. The air was crystalline. His breath turned into a thousand tiny shards in the air about him.

My heart that it was me that died and not him.

And it was his fault. He accepted full responsibility. If he hadn't gone to Tython, hadn't been the one taken into their party, if someone who was capable had been there in his stead, it was likely that her father would have survived. He could be there for her. He could continue to raise her and she could show him that she did love him, that she understood the pain of losing her mother because it affected her as well. But that chance was gone and it was his fault. Nothing he could do would ever bring the man back that had raised her from birth. He could not take the place of her father, and he wasn't going to try, he was just going to love her.

A couple of others watched and gawked at her. He stared at them, trying to get them to leave, but it was her actions that caused that, ice shot towards them, but Caelan reached out and caught it before it could strike them. When it was all over, she would hate herself if she knew that she'd hurt anyone, and he didn't want her to feel the way he did about having killed people. She might think she was ready, but she wasn't. No one ever was.

Greenhouse windows shattered, ice shards began to circle around her and he stepped back for a moment before clipping her father's lightsaber to his belt. She hadn't taken it yet, her grief too strong. But he understood. All too well he understood her pain.

"I made your father a promise, Arhiaa," he said as he looked at her, a whirlwind of ice, pain and hurt. "I promised him I would take care of you, that I would always be there for you. I aim to keep that promise."

Despite the weakened state of his own body, he knew what he needed to do, and he thought back to that first time they'd met in the archives, how he'd calmed her when she was at her weakest, how he'd brought her back, not with words, but with song, song that could cut through the darkness, the pain, could bring her back to him where she belonged. He needed her, but right now she needed him to be strong. Strong. STRONG. His mother and Iston's words meant so much to him now.

"When your world breaks down,
and the voices tell you turn around.
When your dreams give out,
I will carry you.
Carry you."

The words started soft at first before rising from him, growing louder until he was certain that she heard them, even through the thunderous pain inside of her. And he started forward, letting the shards of ice strike him. They battered and bruised him, ripping apart the sling on his arm, causing it to drop to his side, and he fought the pain that the motion brought to him because he couldn't be weak. Never again.

"When the stars go blind,
and the darkness starts to flood your eyes.
When you're fallin' behind, I will carry you."

Blood started to drip from him as shards slashed at his skin and clothes. Cuts appeared on his cheek and forehead, his arms, all about him. A few pieces of ice struck him and caused him to drop to a knee as they embedded themselves deep. It hurt, but he stood again, still being battered by it all, and moved towards her, until he was close enough that he could wrap his arms around her. Only one could hold her with any force, but the other would still be felt, and he ignored any feeling of physical pain to pull her against him while he sang for her.

"You should know now,
that you're not alone.
Take my heart and we will find,
you will find,
your way home."

He held her as tight against him as he could, even though it was freezing cold. Parts of him began to feel the freeze, a burning sensation setting in within his extrimities. But he held her, and refused to let go. Never would he let go. He would be there for her no matter what, even if they should die together, frozen in the gardens.

"You have me, Arhiaa. You're not alone. Come back to me, and we can find home."

 

[Arhiia Voronwe]

​

Tags: Caelan Valoren
Location: Gardens
​

Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens.. and as the torrent of ice raged on, it was extremely evident.

A sleeper had awoken from her slumber -- the motivating factor? The loss of everything she'd ever loved.

She felt nothing but anger... deep unbridled anger.... pain, multiplied by the shame and guilt she now felt as she mourned the loss of her Father. As she stood in the middle of the Gardens, the beautiful but deadly maelstrom that surrounded her, she could make out bits of words that were spoke around her... but over that spoke another voice, one even more familiar.

"My Daughter, my great love... do not mourn me -- for I will always be with you, as will your mother."

"You deserve to suffer.... you deserve to be alone.."

A sob broke free from her lips as she spoke aloud. "Dad... I miss you so much... I'm so sorry." Her body shaking as a melody began to chime within her head, began to caress and comfort, another voice, equally powerful now echoing in her mind.

"You have me, Arhiaa. You're not alone. Come back to me, and we can find home."

"You'll always be alone -- give in to the grief.

"Arhiia, you are stronger than you believe..."

"Find your way home Arhiia...."

"Give in to the anger, let them feel your grief..."

Several voices began to vie for first place as both her hands came up to her head, a scream erupting forth as she gripped tightly. It was too much -- just too much. She was afraid, she was alone -- and there was no one... Until.

"You have me, Arhiaa. You're not alone. Come back to me, and we can find home."

She felt two arms embrace her wholly, completely and safely. Opening her eyes and lifting her head, her sapphire eyes now fully coherent found Caelan's, shock and horror filled in both at what she'd done... but she just stared at him as the storm around them stopped, time itself frozen -- his loving embrace now beginning to melt the heart of ice and calm the tempest.

A sob erupted from her chest as he looked gently at her, her lip quivering as she spoke. "I didn't love him enough -- I wasn't kind enough... and now, I'll never get to say anything..." Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she spoke. "My dad... is dead, he's dead..." Leaning into Caelan she sobbed uncontrollably. "I'll never get to tell him how much I loved him..." Her hands gripping his shirt. "I have nothing... nothing of him, nothing of mom... I --... I can't... I.. I don't..." Her words failing as her mind tried to piece together the shattered pieces of her heart.

It felt like she could not catch her breath -- her mind now reeling and grappling with the reality of the death of her Father. The ice around them would drop to the ground as her body slumped and she fell to her knees. Curling up and into the fetal position, Arhiia sobbed -- she wanted to die, she wanted to cease to exist... why? Why did this have to happen? What was the purpose in it? Was it a sick joke?

​

 

[Caelan Valoren]

ATTIRE: Link
TAGS: Arhiia Voronwe

It took time but his words seemed to sink in and the cold began to dissipate. He had been worried for a few moments that he was losing her, that she was too far gone, that she'd break into nothingness. Now he fully understood what Annie had gone through in bringing him back from his reaction on Tython. He hurt for her that he'd harmed her as he had. No sister deserved that. She'd been there for him when he needed her and then he'd turned around and betrayed her trust, going so far as to cause direct harm to her. Truly, he did not deserve her as a sibling.

But Arhiaa. He hurt her for her so much. He hurt for her because he knew exactly how she felt. He'd never gotten to tell his mom and dad he loved them again. They were just... gone. While he still felt a connection to his mother, there was nothing with his father, and that pain was something that was hard to get over. He'd been hiding it for quite a while, but it had all come crashing down on him on Tython when he'd witnessed death. It had made him a scared, weak and useless person in a matter of seconds.

Since then he'd resolved to be stronger, to be willing to do what was necessary, but to never enjoy it. And now his love needed him. She was hurting and so he kept a focus upon her, holding her close, though she would eventually slip from his arms and curl up on the ground. Understanding her plight did not make things better for her. She needed more than understanding. She needed comfort.

"Arhiaa," he said as he knelt down beside her. "You think you have nothing of them, but you are wrong. You are literally them. They made you, and because of that, they're always with you. The Force was with them and you. Though both have gone to the living Force, they are never far from you."

He reached out a hand and brushed her hair lightly, then caressed her cheek. Then his hand pulled out her fathers saber and he forced it into her grip, gently closing her fingers around it.

"Inside that saber is your father's lightsaber crystal. Our crystals become bound to us when find them and there's a connection that doesn't end unless the crystal is destroyed. I know it's small comfort, but you should keep your father's crystal at the least. I wear my mother's, and when I was hurting on Tython, upset over your father's death, my mother appeared to me through the Force because of the connection through the crystal.

"He knew you loved him, though. You may not have said it, but he knew, and that's why he wanted to make sure this came to you. He knew you needed to have it."

Reaching gently, he scooped his good arm beneath her and lifted her enough that she was at least partially within his lap rather than just resting on the ground. He didn't want her to feel alone, and he knew that physical touch was one of the greatest ways to make someone feel comforted and cared for.

"I'll never leave you, Arhiaa. You're always going to have me until the day we grow old and pass into the Force. My entire life, from this day forward, is dedicated to growing stronger so I can be here for you."

 

[Arhiia Voronwe]

​

As Caelan forced the saber into her hands and did his absolute best to console her, her sapphire eyes stared blankly and helplessly at her Father's saber. She knew he was right, Arhiia was the cultivation of her Father and her Mother... the very best of both. As she allowed her mind to cease to think and her senses to dull, her thumb gently rubbed the hilt of her Father's saber, soft whispers emanating from within her mind...her memory bringing her back to a simpler time.

The two sat, her Father and Arhiia, in a vast field, the wind blowing the wheat that stood strong as it flexed but did not bend, unyielding much like she thought her Father was. She was younger, the cares of the world had not yet gotten to her as she ran through the wheat and giggled, her voice chiming out into the vast plains. As her Father stood, silhouetted in the sunlight, she ran to him and he took her into his warm embrace -- her voice echoing aloud.

"Daddy -- tell me about mommy."

His brow would crease and the corners around his eyes would wrinkle, but his gruff voice would break the silence as he spoke. "She was much like you my precious flower -- full of spirit and fire, strong, inquisitive and was immovable...." He put his nose to hers as Arhiia giggled. "Did you love her like me Da?" He sighed as his forehead would rest onto hers. "Yes Arhiia, she was my great love -- but then, she bore another I would love... even more. Arhiia you are so loved... by me, by your mother -- and I will always be with you." His embrace would tighten as she hugged him -- the weight of being embraced by him she could still remember.

As her mind would come back to reality, she could hear the whisper once again... "Arhiia... you are so loved... I'll always be with you."

Her sob would break free again as she dug her face into Caelan's shirt, her free hand that wasn't coveting the saber gripping at it as her body quivered.

Just then.... a Master would come sprinting into the Gardens as he stood in shock of the ice that now covered the area, the frost and the glass that now all lie shattered around them. Looking at Caelan, who was now in a shattered sling and Arhia who was bawling, he spoke sternly. "Padawans -- explain yourselves? What has happened?"

Caelan Valoren ​

 

[Caelan Valoren]

ATTIRE: Link
TAGS: Arhiia Voronwe

He just knelt there, holding her close to him, letting her cry as she held the saber in her hands, staring at it. He'd said what he needed to and it was more beneficial to her to have a moment to grieve than it was for him to keep talking. She'd heard him, he was positive of that, even if she didn't respond. This process she was going through was familiar to him. He'd done it himself when the news of his parents had been given to him. It didn't matter that he was supposed to be strong, even the strong had to cry sometimes.

When she buried her face in his tunic, he moved a hand up to gently hold the back of her head, fingers lightly brushing her hair. He hurt for her, wished he could take her pain away, but in time she would heal. He'd be there for her whenever she needed him. Always. Their connection was tighter than he could have ever expected that day they'd met, but it was true, and strong, and compelling. At least to him.

Someone else spoke and he blinked, looking up to find a Master he was unfamiliar with standing there, demanding to know what had happened. Caelan looked down at Arhiaa and then back to him.

"She just found out about her father, Master Voronwe, I mean, and what happened on Tython," he explained, avoiding using the words associated with death or demise for her sake. "I apologize for the disturbance, Master. I take full responsibility for it."

He would not allow her to get in trouble for what had happened. It wouldn't be right to kick her like that while she was down. If anyone was to get in trouble, let it be him. A few days of menial tasks wouldn't hurt him, at least not much. He'd do that for her. He'd do anything for her, including give his life for her, though he was certain he wouldn't need to do that. She was very capable and he was going to get stronger himself. They would be quite the pair when they reached knighthood.

 

[Arhiia Voronwe]

​

Tags: Caelan Valoren
Location: Gardens
​

The Young Master listened as Caelan spoke, his eyes looking down towards Arhiia. A simple nod would follow as yelled at other Padawans in the area. "I'll give you two some privacy... and my condolences."

They were alone now, away from prying eyes.

Her sobbing would begin to fade as she sat buried in the safety of his embrace and she would simply become quiet. Pushing up and off, but still siting in his lap she looked blankly down at her Fathers saber. "Its... interesting." Her voice finally breaking the air, the tone slow and measured as she picked her words carefully -- the understanding and calmness the most present it'd been this time thus far. "Interesting that I feel such deep sorrow -- but still anger resides in my heart... does that make me a bad daughter Caelan? A bad person?"

She wanted to cry again, but physically she felt she couldn't... she was too tired.

Standing up she held Iston's saber out as she looked at it, gleaming in the light that filtered into the busted windows around the, the wind gently picking up as stray strands of hair moved delicately around her face. Her thumb moved to the activation switch and the saber broke forth with a "crack-hiss", the blade humming to life as she listened to it.

The hilt was large -- but her Father had been a towering man, often people would look at her and her Father and question them until she spoke... then the similarity would break forth. As she stood stoically there, Caelan would see it -- a silhouetted imprint of Iston around Arhiia as she stood holding his saber looking off to the distance -- she could feel his presence, the comfort it afforded and now once again, the tears flowed as she looked back to Caelan, deactivating the saber.

Kneeling down her hands grabbed both sides of his tunic as she leaned in and pressed her soft lips crashing into his with a fervor that hadn't been felt yet. As she pulled back, her breathing hitched slightly, her eyes met with his, her voice answering his declaration from earlier. "I could never grow tired of your company -- but I might question some of your decision making capabilities.... I just pray you'll never become weary of my sharp tongue, I know I'm an acquired taste..." She paused as he bit her bottom lip. "Thank you... for bringing me his saber -- but thank you for coming back alive... "

Tender moment over.

Hitting his good shoulder her eyes narrowed as she looked at him. "You ever do anything that stupid again, you won't have to worry about a war -- it'll be me you need to fear." Leaning in, her breath hitched a sob broke free as she tried to be strong and make the situation light hearted, but her head came to his shoulder and collar bone as she began crying again. It was bad enough she'd lost her Father, but now realizing how close she'd been to loosing Caelan -- she was ready for the day to end... it was just too much.

Now the prospect of going home alone... by herself, with no one around settled in.

"I know its selfish to ask... Will you stay with me in my quarters tonight? I don't want to be alone..."

 

[Caelan Valoren]

ATTIRE: Link
TAGS: Arhiia Voronwe

Caelan mouthed his thanks to the Master before turning his attention back to the woman in his arms. Eventually her tears stopped flowing and her sobbing stopped. He never wavered in holding her despite the fact that it hurt his arm to do so. The pain was nothing compared to the pain she was feeling, as he knew from experience, and all he wanted to do was keep her close so she could feel from him that even thought she'd suffered great loss, she would not be alone.

"You are neither a bad daughter, nor a bad person," he assured her. "You're just hurt. I was angry with my parents for a time after their death, as well."

When she stood, he didn't, wanting to see what she would do as she took hold of her father's saber and activated it. It was large, built for a towering man. Caelan had barely been able to wield it himself. But he could see him when he saw her with it. She was more like her father than she knew. He could have told her that then, but he didn't want her to try and be like him. What she needed was to find her own way. If that path lead her to be like her father, then so be it, but if it didn't, that was fine as well. She deserved the chance to be what she wanted.

Then she knelt and kissed him, and he kissed her back with a fervor that belied just how broken inside he really was, and how that kiss was what he'd needed more than anything in the entire galaxy. The thing he'd wanted the most was her comfort. The entire flight back from Tython that was the only thing he truly longed for that he would ever be able to have again.

Though, after she pulled back, and commented on questioning his decision making abilities, he couldn't help but smile a little. It was a jab well-deserved. He had not been ready for what he'd endured on Tython. Looking back, he'd been a fool to go and think he could help with so little training. His studies were barely begun and as a result he'd barely managed to survive. He'd barely even made it back without losing a limb or his life. And when she thanked him for coming back alive, it hit home that his life had value to her. He wanted to be there for her, but those words, her telling him she was grateful he'd made it back to her, told him that he couldn't afford to be so reckless.

Of course she then slugged him in the good shoulder and he winced, it actually did hurt, she was quite strong, and he gave her a wry smile in return for it.

"I make no promises. I just go where the Force tells me to. Usually."

And then she leaned in, placed her forehead on his shoulder, and cried again. He wrapped his arms around her and turned his head just enough to put his lips near her ear.

"Sometimes I go where my heart tells me to, which is why I come back to you. And yes, I will stay with you. Whenever you'll allow me to."

The gardens were getting quiet, and it didn't seem appropriate for them to stay there forever. While attachment was certainly not forbidden, he didn't relish the idea of everyone talking about what they'd seen there. Arhiaa deserved privacy to deal with her grief. That being the case, he would, indeed, escort her back to her quarters and remain with her so she wouldn't have to spend the night alone. It didn't even make him feel odd to do so. She was important to him beyond what mere words could convey, and those feelings had made him attached to her. It felt natural that he be near to her now.

Even if she did beat him up a little bit.

 

[Arhiia Voronwe]

Tags: Caelan Valoren
Location: Quarters | Healers
Objective: Cope

​

The night came quickly -- but slowly and painfully lasted.

Arhiia tossed and turned in her bed as she consistently found herself touching the smooth hilt that was her Father's saber. Thinking back over the day's events seemed to be one massive blur. Caelan had helped her back to her Quarters, she in return helped get him a pallet set up on her couch -- as well as redid his sling. It was the least she could do since she'd been at fault for shredding his last one.

She'd cried, so much -- but now as she lay in bed, listening to Caelan's breathing in the other room... all she could do was think about "what next". Her Father, wouldn't want her to wallow in pity -- quoting his famous words she knew "the dead would bury the dead, the living still had much to do...". It brought little comfort to her, but she knew in this saying he was telling her she had a choice... carry on his legacy by living her life to the fullest... or, curl up and become useless.

As morning would come... finally -- Arhiia go up like she normally did and began her usual routine which consisted of making her bed, getting showered and studiously fixing her hair and clothing... she'd have to go see her Master at some point and share the news she'd recieved, she knew he would help guide her thought this time, as well as give her purpose and direction.

As she came into the living room, her hand gently found Caelan's shoulder as she spoke softly. "Caelan -- its time to wake up. We've got to get you to your Physical Therapy."

Moving over towards the kitchen, she began to get simple ingredients out and began to cook for him -- much like she would do for her Father, Iston. Ahriia, was by no means... a set "gendered" kinda gal -- as far as where roles came in... but something her Father had instilled in her from the very beginning was things like cooking, cleaning -- serving someone wasn't a chore, it was a privilege and as she cooked for Caelan, there was a newfound sense of joy in it, hoping that he would enjoy what it was that she made... because after all, he would need his strength up if he did his therapy right.

"Caelan! Are you up?"

She hated being late. Early was on time, on time was late. Simple as that.

​

 

[Caelan Valoren]

ATTIRE: Link
TAGS: Arhiia Voronwe

It was strange, sleeping on her couch. Mostly because it wasn't as comfortable as his bed was, but also because he was sleeping in the quarters of a girl, within the Jedi confines. Could be construed as inappropriate. If she'd asked him to do this before he'd gone to Tython he most likely would have declined because of impropriety of it. He was, after all, raised as a Prince and such things were not to be done. However, the gravity of everything that had happened had changed his perspective on a lot of things, and so now he didn't feel it was improper, just different.

He'd woke a few times during the night because she was so restless he could hear her. More than once he walked to her door and looked in on her, noting her struggles to sleep peacefully. Part of him wanted to go and put his arms around her, let her sleep within the security of them, but he didn't know if she would be alright with that, and he didn't want to wake her to ask. There was a line he wouldn't cross without permission and that was getting into her bed, even if it was just to comfort her.

Eventually he got some sleep. No nightmares for him at this point. The comfort of her presence in the same space as him kept them away. Mentally he was exhausted, so the calming rest was appreciated. Eventually he felt her hand on his shoulder, though, and woke, albeit slow enough that she was able to walk away without him rising. The smells of her cooking further awakened him.

He slipped off to the fresher to get a shower and clean himself up because he didn't want to go to his therapy smelling like a wet bantha. Probably Arhiaa wouldn't appreciate the smell either. He made sure he was presentable and slipped his arm back into the new sling that she'd helped him with since the other one had been destroyed. Once he was ready, he left the fresher and made his way to find her in the kitchen, her cooking smelling really good to him.

"Yes, I'm awake," he assured her as he walked around to peer over her shoulder. "Whatever you're making smells really good."

His stomach gurgled, reminding him that he hadn't eaten much yesterday, largely due to everything that was going on. Heck, he hadn't eaten much on the whole trip back from Tython, either. Probably a good thing she was going to make him eat when it came down to it.

"Did you get any rest?"

 

[Arhiia Voronwe]

Tags: Caelan Valoren
Location: Quarters
Objective: Physical Therapy | Cope


​

She simply smiled as he complimented how the food she was making smelt.

Her nimble form wore a tight fitting apron and her moonlit, plantinum blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun. The sound of her coring and cutting various fruits would be heard as she began to plate the meal in front of Caelan. Moving over and getting him a cup of juice, she placed it down in front of him as her hand softly came and brushed against the top his. "No -- I didn't sleep well, but I suppose that is to be expected."

Moving back over to the kitchen she removed the items she'd been cooking off the burners and plated everything. Carrying all items over onto a tray she sat it all down and in front of Caelan. Pulling a chair up and next to him, Arhiia began to put various foods onto his plate. Sliding the plate in front of him, it held fruit, eggs, meat and toast -- all together a well balanced meal.

Smiling softly at him, she spoke. "It's probably too much -- but I wasn't for sure what all you might like... and it was the least I could do for everything."

She imagined what the future might look like for the two of them. Would she get to cook for him more like this? Mend his wounds? Would they sit together in the evenings and enjoy each others company? Take walks? Share in pain and joy as they had? It was something that had never once crossed her mind, but as she sat next to him -- these thoughts hung heavy in her mind. It had been a long time since the word hope held any weight within her mind.

As she made her own plate, a much smaller portion than what she'd given him, she spoke as she nibbled on her food. "After we eat -- we'll need to make our way to your therapy session... the sooner your back one hundred percent, the sooner you'll be able to resume your training. Right?"

​

 

[Caelan Valoren]

ATTIRE: Link
TAGS: Arhiia Voronwe

He continued to watch, mesmerized by how her hands seemed to be so adept at cutting that she never even flinched. It was as though she had a lot of practice. Probably she did. He could imagine that, since she'd lived with her father, she'd done a lot of cooking, especially when he'd been away. Since she hadn't had her mother around, she had to look after herself. Honestly, he couldn't say that he'd ever cooked anything in his life. His father had. The elder Valoren had been keen on hunting and cooking. He and Caelan's sister, Kita , had been close because of it.

When she moved everything to the table, he followed her, pulling out a chair for her, and pushing it in when she sat. He had been taught, quite heavily, proper etiquette, and there was no getting around that. With her seated, he sat down in the chair next to her and waited patiently as she began to serve up a plate, which he expected to be for herself, but then she set it in front of him. Normally she would have been served first, but he had to remember this was her home and she was the host, not him, which meant that since he was the guest, etiquette said he was served first.

"It looks delicious," he said, feeling his mouth water a bit. "It's far more than I've had to eat in a long time. I'm afraid I was never really taught to cook so I've been relying on, well, pre-made foods."

It was a tough decision on where to start. Fruit and meat had been a staple of his diet when he was in the lower city. Toast and eggs seemed like a luxury. He decided to start with them. Scooping up a bit of eggs, he put them on the corner of his toast, and then took a bite. Almost immediately he was reminded of being back at home, enjoying breakfast with his parents and sister, just sitting around the table together as normal.

"This," he said after swallowing, "is amazing."

With a near ravenous hunger, he ate the food. He was polite about it, though. He wasn't downing it like a wolf that hadn't eaten in months, even though he hadn't eaten much lately. When she mentioned his therapy, he paused to speak.

"Yes, I can't really train with an arm that's not full strength. Would be too easy to hurt it again. Master Xeraic is likely to be upset with me as it is, so going back with a bum arm won't be good."

He noticed she wasn't eating much, just picking at the food, so he set his fork down and picked up his napkin to wipe his fingers. Then he took up his glass and took a drink before looking over to her.

"What are you thinking about?"

 

[Arhiia Voronwe]

Tags: Caelan Valoren
Location: Quarters
Objective: Breakfast | Physical Therapy for Caelan

​

She could feel heat radiating from her cheeks as he began to eat, a slightly muffled tone escaping his mouth as he complimented her cooking and continued to eat... it made her feel, special -- good that he enjoyed the things she made him. It was a love language to her -- acts of service, and she was more than happy to do so for him.

As she continued to nibble at her plate, her soft sapphire eyes peering off slightly in the far distance she heard him ask her what she was thinking. Staying quiet for just a few moments, she spoke up.

"A lot and nothing at the same time."

Like that made any sort of sense coming out from her mouth.

"I'm thinking of make some tweaks to my fathers lightsaber -- adding my own flair to it. I'm thinking that I enjoy you sitting down with me and your presence. I'm thinking what my Master might say in response to my Father's passing. I'm trying to wrap my head around not ever seeing him again... and jst trying to not think all at the same time."

This was literally the most she'd ever really spoken at once -- but the more she opened up to Caelan and the more they grew closer together, the less cold and distant she seemed... honestly, it was all one could do to shut her up once her strong opinions formed and got going.

 

[Caelan Valoren]

ATTIRE: Link
TAGS: Arhiia Voronwe

He had a feeling there was a lot going on in that head of hers. Mostly because there always was, but also because of everything that had happened recently. She, like he, had no parents anymore. They were both orphans. No matter what they did, they couldn't bring back their parents. While he still had a sister out there somewhere (he was pretty sure he did, as he'd never felt that loss), they were still very similar, and he probably understood her pain more than most in that situation.

Lifting his chair, he moved himself closer to her, and reached his good hand over to rest upon her hand, then gently slid his fingers around hers, and grasped hold of it.

"All of that is normal," he said. "I thought very similar things shortly after my parents died. When I was on my way to Coruscant I spent a lot of time wondering what I was going to do now that I had no parents to care for me. I'm only a teenager. I'm not supposed to be off on my own yet. That's part of why I ended up living in the lower levels, barely more than a rat, scavenging for food. I didn't have anyone else back then."

He squeezed her hand lightly.

"You've got me, though, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll help you with whatever you want me to help with. I'll stay on your couch every night, if that's what you want."

It was a lot of emotion welling up within him. He could feel it bubbling to the surface. The whole time he'd been on Tython, aside from thinking about surviving and protecting his adopted sister, the only thing he had thought about was Arhiaa. How much he cared about her. It was the same on the flight back. He'd practically beaten his own fist bloody because of her. Not out of anger, well, perhaps at himself, but never at her. He'd made a promise to her father, and he aimed to keep it, but the reason he was so willing to, was quite simple.

"I love you, Arhiaa."

He had ever since that first meeting in the archives. Since she'd scolded him. She'd made every effort to keep him away, the same effort she'd made with others, but it hadn't worked. The words of his mother echoed in his mind. 'She's the one.' He'd heard it before, but he'd thought it couldn't be true back then. Now he was certain of it. She was the one. She was always the one. She would always be the one. She would always be his love.